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ReelReviews14's Replies
BEN SONG (trying to talk the NBC execs into going back to the drawing board): Look guys, I'm all for "diversity" too, but you can't introduce a "non-binary" character just for the sake of having one and then "only cast a real-life LGBTQ community member to represent them", it has to be organic...
STU PIDDIGOT, NBC PRODUCER: Nonsense! What are you, some guy of MAGA cheerleader?? Don't you realize this is the 21st century now? Audiences LOVE non-binary characters! We need to have one just for the sake of having one, the most important thing is diversity, not good writing! Why are you against DIVERSITY?!
BEN SONG (to ADDISON): It's not working, they really can't see how shallow and pathetic their pitch is. They seem to think I'm "anti-diversity" and a "Trump fanboy" if I point out the writing sucks...
ADDISON: That's the problem with leaping back to 2021. The Covid pandemic caused mass insanity for a while. You've got to find another way to reach them, Ben...
BEN SONG: Hey, hold on! Did you hear the script is written by a Zionist who supports the genocide of Palestinians?? I heard he donated to Netanyahu, too!
STU PIDDIGOT, NBC PRODUCER: I think the reboot will last AT LEAST seven seasons. In fact, I smell a few Emmy nods and -- WAIT A MINUTE?!?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? We can't let a script by a known Zionist go into production! We will ALWAYS stand with the Palestinian people! That's a promise from NBC's shared values!
ADDISON: Whew, that was a close one, Ben. These pandering fools in the entertainment industry are their own worst enemy.
You thought a character named "Phoebe" was supposed to be a boy, seriously?
Did you also just discover that Winston is a black guy?
>> It is supposed to be an adaptation of "The Vampire Lestat". So there probably should not be any appearances by Louis <<
>> Louis will be featured heavily in the upcoming season. This was confirmed. <<
leader's post is probably correct, as Encounter with a Turdpile is an "adaptation" is name only and does not give a crap about the original source material (no matter how much its apologists lie and pretend Anne Rice "approved" the final product). The previously loathed 2002 film Queen of the Damned now looks decent and faithful to the novel in comparison to AMC's Encounter with a Turdpile.
It can still kill Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles.
I remember when Drekkies were gloating about what a "huge success" Star Trek Discovery was when it got renewed for a third season ("the haters have lost, blah blah blah"). It has since been abruptly CANCELLED after airing the FEWEST episodes of any live action Star Trek series (Enterprise was considered a "failure" after being cancelled with just under 100 episodes in 2005, whereas Discovery ended up with less episodes than the original series), and now 3 out of 5 nuTrek shows have ALL been cancelled (Discovery, Lower Decks, AND Prodigy), and Paramount+ is bleeding cash and likely to go belly up in a few years. Paramount+'s original plans to make their streaming service the "exclusive home for all things Star Trek" has utterly failed and even Drekkies admit that now in hindsight. Someday, we'll probably hear the truth about how "successful" Discovery was.
AMC's attempts to create a massive "shared universe" of Anne Rice novels has likewise ALREADY failed, as The Mayfair Witches "spinoff" debuted with horrible reviews and awful viewership numbers.
Gloat all you want about Encounter with a Turdpile making it to a third season, the writing is already on the wall.
It's difficult to determine when protestants decide someone has "become a Christian", since they break their own "rules". For everyone else, all you have to do to "become a Christian" is admit you are a sinner and profess that Jesus is your lord and savior. But if Catholics do that, it doesn't "count" (even if Catholics do it at an adult age and are fully aware what that means). But if a 6 year old protestant admits they are a sinner and says Jesus is Lord, they're good to go!
Bingo. I LOVE the Anne Rice books and the 1994 film, and I wouldn't touch this garbage series with a 10ft pole.
How the hell did this dumpster fire get renewed for a THIRD season?
It's reminding me of Star Trek Discovery, a bunch of mysterious "fans" on the internet keeping swooning over it and claiming "Best show EVER! Man, every episode keeps getting BETTER and BETTER!"
When in reality, anyone with a brain who cares about this franchise knows the show is an abomination that keeps getting WORSE and WORSE....
I kinda wish I could see such an episode now...
BEN SONG: Where am I?
ADDISON: It looks like you've leaped into the body of Bryan Wynbrandt, a hack television writer at Universal Content Productions, in the year 2021. Ziggy says there's a 99% possibility you're here to stop his writing partner Steven Lilien from rebooting an iconic 1990s TV series. The godawful pitch they put out for the reboot was greenlit.
BEN SONG: Why so bad? What happens if the show airs?
ADDISON: Apparently, the reboot doesn't even use the star of the original in even a cameo. They gender-swap the co-star, race swap the main character, and decide the little guy with bad breath who is a reoccurring character in the original show should instead be a "non-binary person to represent the LGBTQ community"
BEN SONG: Yikes! What happens to that pile of trash once audiences see it?
ADDISON: According to Ziggy, the show only lasts 30 episodes and gets cancelled after two seasons, forever tarnishing the legacy of the brilliant original series because it has the same name.
BEN SONG: Oh boy...
I love how everyone supposedly "raised Catholic" repeats the protestant matra about how Catholics aren't "saved" because "babies can't admit they are a sinner and profess Jesus as their Lord and Savior", and then people point out that Catholics do indeed do things before reaching adulthood (during Confession and Confirmation), which anyone "raised Catholic" would know, but pretends not to be aware of.
When confronted with those pesky facts, you guys simply move the goalposts. So in order to be "Saved", everyone else on the planet (atheist, Muslim, Hindu, agnostic, etc.) simply needs to "admit they are a sinner" and "accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior", UNLESS the person happens to be Catholic. In ONLY that circumstance, the person must ALSO attend a tent revival and convert to protestantism in order to "be saved".
It's like how ex-Catholics INSIST they "never heard the Gospel" in a Catholic Church, when in reality ALL Catholic masses do Gospel readings EVERY Sunday, and that is a REQUIREMENT of the liturgy. If the "ex-Catholics" actually "never heard the Gospel", its because they weren't paying attention, which would be your fault, not the fault of the church.
Well anyway, we can now add your extra set of "rules", so Jim Cavizel will "never do a movie as a Christian" until he converts to Protestantism. Similarly, Jonathan Roumie "never became a Christian" either, simply due to the fact he's Catholic. Wow, we sure have a lot of non-Christians playing Jesus. Sucks for you guys!
I might try to get it nominated for Razzie.
They should rescind Heath Ledger's Oscar for playing "the Joker" because he wouldn't have won "Best Actor" if he weren't deceased at the time of the Awards. It was an outpouring of sympathy that netted him that award, not him truly being the "best actor" in 2008.
It's time to retroactively accept what we're been saying since 2008: Jack Nicholson remains THE BEST live action Joker!
>> This flopped because nobody wanted to see a musical Joker movie and the story was ass <<
Yes, we know the ACTUAL reasons it flopped, but that's never stopped the apologists from chasing imaginary boogeymen before.
Furiosa flopped because nobody wanted to see a "Mad Max" film without Mad Max in it and nobody gave a crap about the 'Furiosa' character's origin story, but the apologists would have us believe that it flopped because "EVERYONE is streaming now" and audiences just preferred to wait to stream it at home.
The West Side Story remake flopped because nobody was asking for a remake of a timeless film from Hollywood's Golden Age and Spielberg poorly constructed the musical numbers and marketed with idiotic political correctness about "honoring the Latinx community", but the apologists would have us believe that "Covid killed theaters" and "people were scared to go out in public to see it on the big screen".
They can't admit the films themselves are flawed, so they just use external factors beyond their control as the scapegoat.
The Thief on the cross received baptism by desire. Baptism by desire and Baptism by blood are rarely mentioned because they occur far less often than water baptism, but both are valid baptisms. Google it.
>> You become a Christian when you repent of your sins and recognize Jesus as your Saviour <<
Like most Catholics, Jim Caviezel most likely first "repented of his sins" when he made his first Confession at age 7 or so, so either way, he would have "become a Christian" long before he started his acting career as an adult.
You're confusing this board with the Snyderverse boards. Snyder had three chances and has yet to direct a "DCEU" movie that was even COMPETENTLY written.
>> There are thousands of superhero movies. Airplane! doesn't belong to a film franchise, it is an original idea, unlike Deadpool. <<
Airplane most definitely belongs to a franchise and has a specific genre of film. It is a Parody film. In fact, it really spawned the "modern" Parody film "formula" in much the same way Spider-Man and X-Men did for superhero movies in the early 2000s. Airplane! has a sequel and spawned dozens of films directly using the same format or intimating to a large degree, such as The Naked Gun, Hot Shots, Spy Hard, Scary Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, Borat, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist!, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, etc. etc. Indeed, Airplane! did for Leslie Nielson what X-Men did for Hugh Jackman.
Airplane specifically parodied hollywood Disaster Films, which had oversaturated the market and become cliche by the late 70s. It's obviously poking fun at the Towering Inferno/Earthquake/Poisidon Adventure/Airport type "style" of Disaster films, which wouldn't make sense if you were watching a modern Disaster film, like San Andreas with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
I'll have to rewatch Scary Movie and see if a lot of the gags require knowledge of late 90s pop culture to get what they're referencing to.
One of the most clever ways they tricked us and "subverted expectations" is that Ryan Reynolds did a "disclaimer" on the internet months earlier, when he promised "I know you're all wondering how Wolverine can come back after the character died in Logan. Well, first off, we're not touching that. What really happens in our film is--" and then he's abruptly cut off by music to avoid the "spoiler".
We all took him at his word that the film wouldn't "undo" the ending of Logan (especially since it was such a poignant, somber scene meant to be THE END of the character), that the film itself would tiptoe around the events of Logan.
Lo and behold, not only DID Deadpool & Wolverine "undo" Logan, but he announced right at the START of the movie that he was going to literally dig up the corpse, and then proceeded to literally desecrate it.
This was the LAST thing I'd expect the film to actually do!
>> It's a soulless wank of Hollywood, a movie that won't have any sense in 15-20 years, as all his jokes are based on a veeeery specific context. <<
You could make the same criticism of the iconic timeless film Airplane! (1980). A lot of the jokes in the film won't make sense to today's viewers, and require very specific knowledge about late 70s/early 80s U.S. culture and contemporary events at the time.
The film overall, however, is STILL entertaining as hell!
I avoided reading spoilers or reviews before I saw it on Tuesday, July 30th, so the only "surprises" I had already known about were stuff they openly told the public about BEFORE the movie was released... claiming Dafne Keen as X-23 was a big "surprise" when in reality she had been at the red carpet premiere with the REST of the cast, and they had announced publicly she was reprising the role. How was it a "secret" then?
Blake Lively as Lady Deadpool was also a "surprise" they had already told the public about, so I knew it was coming.
The REST of the film came as a total surprise to me, I didn't even realize Wolverine would wear the actual mask, although I should have seen it coming by the fact we knew he was wearing the iconic yellow-and-blue uniform for the first time.
>> would it have killed them to get the correct actors back for Juggernaut, Lady Deathstrike, Azazel, Toad.. ? I mean they dint have to as multiverse variants <<
Vinnie Jones was asked to return as Juggernaut but turned it down. They got a look alike instead. It was weird seeing the "correct", original X-Men movie series Juggernaut back when we just got a totally different (and more comic book accurate) one in Deadpool 2. They might as well brought back the original Colossus since they were going down that path.
I thought Lady Deathstrike, Azazel, and Toad WERE the original actors (Ray Park and so on) along with Sabretooth (Tyler Mane). They certainly made them LOOK close enough the originals that nobody noticed if it was a different actor.
I was half expecting General Styker to show up with all the original X-Men film characters returning.