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ReelReviews14 (1220)


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Queen of the Damned (2002) no longer the WORST Anne Rice vampire adaptation! Jared Leto & Margot Robbie are "better" than Joaquin Phoenix & Lady Gaga... Where's the "people just don't go to theaters anymore" crowd to make excuses? STILL no Three Amigos reunion... Jon Stewart accidentally tells the TRUTH about Democrats! rank the ENTIRE X-Men cinematic universe! Alison Brie Regrets Voicing Vietnamese American Character Had the kind of cameos we EXPECTED to see in Dr. Strange 2.... Most directors get better with later films....he keeps getting worse How to have a "Furiosa Free" Mad Max Binge Party! View all posts >


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BEN SONG (trying to talk the NBC execs into going back to the drawing board): Look guys, I'm all for "diversity" too, but you can't introduce a "non-binary" character just for the sake of having one and then "only cast a real-life LGBTQ community member to represent them", it has to be organic... STU PIDDIGOT, NBC PRODUCER: Nonsense! What are you, some guy of MAGA cheerleader?? Don't you realize this is the 21st century now? Audiences LOVE non-binary characters! We need to have one just for the sake of having one, the most important thing is diversity, not good writing! Why are you against DIVERSITY?! BEN SONG (to ADDISON): It's not working, they really can't see how shallow and pathetic their pitch is. They seem to think I'm "anti-diversity" and a "Trump fanboy" if I point out the writing sucks... ADDISON: That's the problem with leaping back to 2021. The Covid pandemic caused mass insanity for a while. You've got to find another way to reach them, Ben... BEN SONG: Hey, hold on! Did you hear the script is written by a Zionist who supports the genocide of Palestinians?? I heard he donated to Netanyahu, too! STU PIDDIGOT, NBC PRODUCER: I think the reboot will last AT LEAST seven seasons. In fact, I smell a few Emmy nods and -- WAIT A MINUTE?!?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? We can't let a script by a known Zionist go into production! We will ALWAYS stand with the Palestinian people! That's a promise from NBC's shared values! ADDISON: Whew, that was a close one, Ben. These pandering fools in the entertainment industry are their own worst enemy. You thought a character named "Phoebe" was supposed to be a boy, seriously? Did you also just discover that Winston is a black guy? >> It is supposed to be an adaptation of "The Vampire Lestat". So there probably should not be any appearances by Louis << >> Louis will be featured heavily in the upcoming season. This was confirmed. << leader's post is probably correct, as Encounter with a Turdpile is an "adaptation" is name only and does not give a crap about the original source material (no matter how much its apologists lie and pretend Anne Rice "approved" the final product). The previously loathed 2002 film Queen of the Damned now looks decent and faithful to the novel in comparison to AMC's Encounter with a Turdpile. It can still kill Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. I remember when Drekkies were gloating about what a "huge success" Star Trek Discovery was when it got renewed for a third season ("the haters have lost, blah blah blah"). It has since been abruptly CANCELLED after airing the FEWEST episodes of any live action Star Trek series (Enterprise was considered a "failure" after being cancelled with just under 100 episodes in 2005, whereas Discovery ended up with less episodes than the original series), and now 3 out of 5 nuTrek shows have ALL been cancelled (Discovery, Lower Decks, AND Prodigy), and Paramount+ is bleeding cash and likely to go belly up in a few years. Paramount+'s original plans to make their streaming service the "exclusive home for all things Star Trek" has utterly failed and even Drekkies admit that now in hindsight. Someday, we'll probably hear the truth about how "successful" Discovery was. AMC's attempts to create a massive "shared universe" of Anne Rice novels has likewise ALREADY failed, as The Mayfair Witches "spinoff" debuted with horrible reviews and awful viewership numbers. Gloat all you want about Encounter with a Turdpile making it to a third season, the writing is already on the wall. It's difficult to determine when protestants decide someone has "become a Christian", since they break their own "rules". For everyone else, all you have to do to "become a Christian" is admit you are a sinner and profess that Jesus is your lord and savior. But if Catholics do that, it doesn't "count" (even if Catholics do it at an adult age and are fully aware what that means). But if a 6 year old protestant admits they are a sinner and says Jesus is Lord, they're good to go! Bingo. I LOVE the Anne Rice books and the 1994 film, and I wouldn't touch this garbage series with a 10ft pole. How the hell did this dumpster fire get renewed for a THIRD season? It's reminding me of Star Trek Discovery, a bunch of mysterious "fans" on the internet keeping swooning over it and claiming "Best show EVER! Man, every episode keeps getting BETTER and BETTER!" When in reality, anyone with a brain who cares about this franchise knows the show is an abomination that keeps getting WORSE and WORSE.... I kinda wish I could see such an episode now... BEN SONG: Where am I? ADDISON: It looks like you've leaped into the body of Bryan Wynbrandt, a hack television writer at Universal Content Productions, in the year 2021. Ziggy says there's a 99% possibility you're here to stop his writing partner Steven Lilien from rebooting an iconic 1990s TV series. The godawful pitch they put out for the reboot was greenlit. BEN SONG: Why so bad? What happens if the show airs? ADDISON: Apparently, the reboot doesn't even use the star of the original in even a cameo. They gender-swap the co-star, race swap the main character, and decide the little guy with bad breath who is a reoccurring character in the original show should instead be a "non-binary person to represent the LGBTQ community" BEN SONG: Yikes! What happens to that pile of trash once audiences see it? ADDISON: According to Ziggy, the show only lasts 30 episodes and gets cancelled after two seasons, forever tarnishing the legacy of the brilliant original series because it has the same name. BEN SONG: Oh boy... I love how everyone supposedly "raised Catholic" repeats the protestant matra about how Catholics aren't "saved" because "babies can't admit they are a sinner and profess Jesus as their Lord and Savior", and then people point out that Catholics do indeed do things before reaching adulthood (during Confession and Confirmation), which anyone "raised Catholic" would know, but pretends not to be aware of. When confronted with those pesky facts, you guys simply move the goalposts. So in order to be "Saved", everyone else on the planet (atheist, Muslim, Hindu, agnostic, etc.) simply needs to "admit they are a sinner" and "accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior", UNLESS the person happens to be Catholic. In ONLY that circumstance, the person must ALSO attend a tent revival and convert to protestantism in order to "be saved". It's like how ex-Catholics INSIST they "never heard the Gospel" in a Catholic Church, when in reality ALL Catholic masses do Gospel readings EVERY Sunday, and that is a REQUIREMENT of the liturgy. If the "ex-Catholics" actually "never heard the Gospel", its because they weren't paying attention, which would be your fault, not the fault of the church. Well anyway, we can now add your extra set of "rules", so Jim Cavizel will "never do a movie as a Christian" until he converts to Protestantism. Similarly, Jonathan Roumie "never became a Christian" either, simply due to the fact he's Catholic. Wow, we sure have a lot of non-Christians playing Jesus. Sucks for you guys! I might try to get it nominated for Razzie. View all replies >