I think that the funiest scene was when Harry and Tom Arnold had Simon on top of Hover Dam (or whatever that was)and Simon was so scared that he pissed his pants!! LOL! That was so funny!
"The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is..." -Oren Ishii
This movie has a ton of funny scenes and quotes but some of my faves are:
"What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"
When he hits the two dogs heads together and then says stay.
"Who wrote this *beep* Harry?"
Gib: Would you care to tango?
Faisel: Why, yes, I would!
Harry: *beep*
The way Faisel presses himself against Gib and throws his head back is hilarious.
arnold: Helen, helen she's having an affair.
tom: welcome to the club!
lol
my favorite scene is when arnold is coming out of the car to see if aziz was going to follow him and he had that black glasses on and then tom said there are to guys following u and arnold said i know im not blind and tom said but u do look like ray charles i was laughing like crazy
shareOne great bit is wen arnie is staring at paxton with some binoculars and hes so angry that his look breaks the lense
share"I just want to get a closer look at Beavis and Butthead"
When Gib checks himself to make sure he didn't get shot. (hilarious)
I also can't believe no one mentioned the scene where Harry is sloppily taking off in the harrier, and Gib says something like "don't worry, that is a trademark Harry Tasker takeoff", then about a second later he yells, "everyone might want to seek shelter!" I love that part.
My favorite is when the terroists are taping there lil demonstration, and the battery runs out on the camera, Aziz's response is classic "Get another one!"
Also Simon sayin:
"Makes you wanna get on your knees and beg for buttermilk! Classic!"
There are many scenes that are just outright awesome, but those two stick out to me.
All of you forgot the Low Battery Scene. It was the most hilarious scene I've ever seen in any movie. Aziz was talking so seriously with all his heart and the guy behind the camera was so damn nervous.....
MY DAINA?!
hehehe and the part where the office guy is dancing while the friggin harrier is outside.... haha!
give me the godamn PAIGE!!
I love that part. When he checks his groin to make sure it's all good and he's like "oh, thank god" and kisses the pole.
share"I'M NAVEL LINT!" Priceless.
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Funniest Scene:
Tom Arnold: I have to stop ya Harry...
Arnie: What r u gonna do, tell?
Tom arnold: Goddamn it Harry I know your life's in the *beep* I know your wife's bangin a used car salesman, but goddamn it, take it like a man!
Arnie: You tell on me i tell on you.
Tom Arnold: What you talkin about I'm as clean as a preachers sheets, I'm clean as a baby's...
Arnie: What about that time you blew a 6 foot operation coz you were busy getting blowjobbed ha?
Tom Arnold: You knew about that?
Arnie: yeah...
Tom Arnold:.....ok i think the other ways alot quicker...
izzit249
(1984-i get shagged to death by a FIT blonde!!!!)
My favorite is when Bill Paxton is telling Harry about Helen when testing the car:
"Shes like all these babes: You get her pilot lit, she can SUCKSTART a leaf blower! And shes got the most incredible body! Mmm, pair of titties that makes you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk! Ass like a 10-year-old boy!!"
HAHahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!!
-"Don't come any closer! I'll blow this whole place up!"
-"Go ahead. I don't shop here."
"no, no no! do it dulcimo. do it... very slowly"
"hey who wrote this *beep* harry? c'est la merde!"
"now take off your nylons, one by one"
"i'm uh i'm not wearing any"
*awkward pause while harry fiddles with tape*
"good, good, that's good!"
also the scene where the terrorists trying to escape the harrier jets and the bridge gets blown. the last truck is there teetering on the edge and they managed to balance the truck and not plumet to their doom and they were so happy they were all laughing and celebrating. then a pelican lands on the truck! LOL
"do not try to use force against us. one turn of that key, and 2 million of your people will die!"
"what key?"
"that k- WHO'S TAKEN THE KEY?!"
In the very beginning of the movie when arnold breaks in...... faisil must come in the Van and leaves the door open...Gibb says `` are you born in the barns....then faisil says..``whorehouse``.
Nice qoute!!!
Who? Who? What are you, a *beep* owl?
I like how angry arnie looks when he sees the salesman with his wife in the caravan.
sharewhen simon getting busted and he's yelling "take her take her o'god please dont hurt me!"
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The scenes I think are funniest are:
Harry: "Hurry up, my horse is getting tired."
Helen: "I married Rambo."
Harry: "What can I say? I'm a spy."
Helen looks emotional for a moment, then slugs him.
Helen: You bastard! You lied to me?!
Other scenes that simply crack me up are when Juno and Helen are fighting in the car and when Helen is outside the hotel room getting ready.
I don't believe anybody has mentioned this yet:
My favorite part is when they are trying to arrest Helen.
First Gib tries to do it gently and gets nailed in the balls.
Then Harry tries to do it more forcefully, but still not hurting her, and get bitten on the arm.
Then the spare agent (who thinks she's a terrorist) butts her with his gun.
Then Harry just decks the poor agent, before slinging a stunned Helen over his shoulder.
I also really like the moment when Helen beats up Harry with a telephone. It's so unexpected and he can't really do anything to defend himself, like we saw him do many times earlier. Jamie must have had a blast with that scene.
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Haven't read em all so therefore i don't know if this one's been mentioned.
The Jihad Cameraman(played by Mike Akrawi) is one of the funniest scenes. He is also the driver of the delivery truck that dangles over the edge of the bridge. Two funny scenes.
The whole film is funny tho.
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Gib: Get lost *beep* *shoots floor infront of Simon*
Funniest scene...where aziz humbly asks skinner for a moment of her time. Aziz closes the door, walks over to skinner and POW...slaps the ever-loving *beep* outta her and cussed her in arabic...i don't know what it meant but i started using it myself. I hope that was a stunt double, or does tia have more heart than i thought because she looked like she forgot to turn with the slap.
shareAny scene with Bill Paxton.
I wish his character (Simon) would get his own movie.
Oh man , ya any scene hell ANY MOVIE with Bill Paxton is awsome. for some reason he just makes things better
I WAS IN THE POOL, I WAS IN THE POOL
Magic ticket my ass McBaine
The funniest scene to me:
(Salim reveals a nuclear warhead to Harry)
Salim: Do you know what this is?
Harry: ...Yes, I know what this is.
(Salim grins)
Harry: Its an espresso machine.
(Salim frowns)
Harry: No, no..wait..A snow cone maker?
LOL. And the part where Jamie Lee shoots the gun and she drops it on the stairs and the gun still shoots while going down the stairs. hahaha..The best part is, all the terrorists in the vicinity died..LOl. Talk about tough luck.
"An old man dies. A young girl lives. Fair trade. I love you Nancy.."
[] #94
The scene where the terrorist is hooked on the missle and Arnold fires it on the chopper, with the dude flying through the air and the builiding, that was HILARIOUS (and incredible too, great special effects).
This is my signature. Not part of this post. Purpose: to let you know it's not part of the post.
The funniest scene was when Harry tells Samir how he's going to kill him. The best line ever, "You know my handcuffs?...I picked'em!"
"You think I kill 2 kids and a woman? *beep* that! I don't need that *beep* in my life!" Tony Montana
miy favorite scene when the two dobermans was chasing harry and harry stop smack the two dogs heads together and said "stay". i lmao on that scene!
shareGib: The guy is a used car salesman! This just keeps getting better and better!
[Harry gives him a dirty look]
Gib: I'm sorry, Harry, I know this is hard for you. But you gotta admit if this was me you'd be laughing your ass off!
Gib: I'm beginning to like this guy.
[Harry gives him a mean look]
Gib: Oh, we've still gotta kill him. That's a given.
Tom Arnold is great.
I like:
when harry flushed the terrorist's head in the toilet and said, 'cool off' lol
when helen tried to shoot the submachine gun, but she dropped it and it fell down the stairs and shooting at the same time, killing every terrorist in the area.
when aziz was hanging on the missile, and harry says 'you're fired'
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when they are raiding the trailer, and the one agent hits helen in the face with his gun, and arnie just turns around and punches him out. so *beep* good.
shareI always crack up everytime as these scenes:
-When Harry was telling Gib that Helen was an having an 'afeer', excuse me, afair. Just loved the way Arnold said that.
-Harry saying that the missle was an espresso machine and a snow cone maker.
-Gib complaining about being in the van at the end.
"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
Is it a water heater?
shareOne of my favorites was the scene when they were filming their speech and the guy filming gets all scared and finally says something like "no batteries."
or when Harry says he has to go and save Dana. He says it in a deep serious tone. Then all of a sudden he says a quick "Bye!" with a little kid tone in his voice.