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A Boss from Hell

posted 2 years ago by [email protected] (6248)
32 replies | jump to latest

Need to blow off steam. Anyone ever have a boss from hell? I've got one right now that I'd like to SEND there! lol

It's hard to find a good job where I live. I am currently working in a small family owned restaurant. It's only part time so I am looking for work elsewhere. I need the job but yesterday I was so tempted to tell my boss to perform some physically impossible sex act on herself (if you get my drift) and walk out.

She is loud and obnoxious and calls people including staff and customers "fricker". "a-hole", etc. I just deal with her loudmouth ways. I'm not too sensitive anymore. I can take criticism when I make mistakes and I AM trying to learn the restaurant's routine, menu, etc. But she makes angry comments like threatening to kick my a@@ or break my fingers. I guess she's joking and I just brush it off. Her dad owns the place and he's a real sweetheart. Maybe he doesn't notice or care that his daughter is a mental case.

But yesterday! Oh boy!!! She often needs change, mostly ones and fives, and the waitresses turn in their tips. for bigger bills. I made a HUGE mistake when I started (in August) of not giving her a couple of fives. I told her I need my fives for my church envelopes. She tells me "go to the bank on your day off!!"

I stopped mentioning it because it seemed to annoy her and I just turn in most of my change. But she continually harps on it, to customers no less(!). If they put a five dollar tip on their credit card, they get the story. She'll give me five ones and tell me she won't give me a five.

She "threatens" me that she'll only pay me in one dollar bills. I laugh and tell her that it's no threat. I don't care. After work yesterday I went to several stores and spent the ones she gave me. No store had a problem with my little one dollar bills.
Does she think it hurts me? When she said it again yesterday she seemed a bit embarrassed when I laughed again and said that it wasn't a threat.

Yesterday when she asked for change it was early. I'd only had two tables and I had a five and five ones. I gave them to her. She went on and on and on to customers who were paying how I only "need one five for my church envelope". It's really none of her g#d d@mn business how much money I put in my church envelopes. She tells people that I have seperate envelopes in my purse for ones, fives, tens,etc. How does she know that? And is it her business? She's nuts!

She goes on and on about how she's NEVER had a waitress who didn't want to turn in her tip money for bigger bills. I should have told HER that I've worked in food service before and NEVER had a supervisor who laid claim to my tip money including telling me to bring back my ones and fives the next day since she might need them! Does she think I work as a hobby? My money gets spent on groceries and cat food!

Yesterday was the limit. Our exchange seemed over but she yelled out from the kitchen that if I was going to be a "bitch" then I can't take any more scraps for my pets! Customers waste a lot of toast and other food and I have a container to take scraps for my dog and I also feed the birds.

She told me again when I was leaving that I can't take scraps anymore! Is that petty and spiteful or what? I'm feeding animals, not making a meal for myself! I'm still going to take them next time I have work. She doesn't OWN the garbage! Maybe she'll fire me on the spot. Has anyone ever worked for a mental case?

Sorry, had to vent!

[–] April-151-CT (10210) 2 years ago

And cue all the comments that will focus on how you shouldn't give animals scraps blah blah blah blah.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Well these particular "scraps" are really good food! They have some very big hamburgers at lunch and some people eat half and don't even ask for a takeout box. I suggest it but they don't want to take the food. I can't see wasting a couple of burgers, so they supplement my dog's dinnertime menu. And we must toss out several loaves of bread a week. A lot of people eat half of their toast order. I feed the birds and it saves me on buying bread for them all the time.

[–] BeaSouth (3567) 2 years ago

Sorry you have to deal with this. I recently had a horrendous boss and actually bought a book to learn some strategies. “A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses” by Gini Graham Scott. A clever line she had was, “The best way to stand up to a rude boss is to sit down and talk about it.” Set up a meeting with her and if necessary the owner and be gentle and diplomatic but firm in the abuse that must stop. You could always ask other restaurants for left overs for your animals. That way your boss wouldn’t have that leverage over you. And while you’re inquiring, ask if they have an opening for a great waitress.

[–] ShogunofYonkers (78628) 2 years ago

I’ve been fortunate to have a fairly reasonable boss for twenty years. She and her minions have been unreasonable a couple of times so I filed grievances against them…I don’t dislike the bosses but it’s important to let them know you will go to the mattresses if they think they run things.

‘Bosses’ are lucky to have good troops…’Bosses’ are replaceable, hard workers are not.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Thanks for the book suggestion BeaSouth. I don't know how much longer I'll have THIS boss. Several other places in town are hiring and I am hoping to get one of those jobs.

I had several great bosses when I was very young and worked summer jobs in restaurants. They were very kind and classy ladies, never expected more of you than they did of themselves and they worked HARD. They spoiled me for other bosses.

I went on-line to check Facebook comments about this place and most of the bad comments are about my boss. Customers refer to her as "the older waitress". Actually she's the supervisor. People commented on how rude she was to them. The restaurant prefers for large groups to call ahead for reservations because it's a small place. But not everyone is a local who knows that! duh Sometimes strangers, people just passing through the area stop in with seven or eight people. She gets so annoyed. You can see it in her face. One comment was, "The woman said that they were full and she wanted to know 'What do you want me to do about it?'" (NOT alienate potential paying customers for starters. LOL)

I've heard her tell people, "We're full!" She gets mad. I wouldn't turn away business. I'd tell people that there is a "wait time" if they wanted to wait. We do get very busy.

It would probably be wise to be tactful with her if I was planning to stay and it was a great gig. But I'm only getting part time hours anyway and at my age I don't feel like "kissing butt" for $3.00 an hour. (tips are very good though)

ShogunofYonkers- so true about good workers! A number of restaurants around here have shorter hours or close for days at a time because they can't find people who want to work.

[–] BeaSouth (3567) 2 years ago

Good luck to you PJP. You sound like you have the right attitude. I’d love to hear an update down the road especially if you have that “take this job and shove it” episode with her.

[–] Padeen (6459) 2 years ago

Um...she threatened violence against you? Record it and contact OSHA. That's definitely grounds for a lawsuit.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Padeen- wow, never thought of that! I doubt if I'd pursue it but I think I may tell her that I will if/when she does it again!

The "break your fingers" remark was at the end of the day when I was emptying my pockets. I carry around a lot of straws and extra jelly packets. I was dumping them on the counter to put them away. She said not to take her jellies or she'd break my fingers. I actually don't want her stupid jelly. I have strawberry preserves at home. There would be so many ways to steal from a restaurant. But I am not in the habit of pilfering from my employers.

This reminds me that she was going to "kick my a@@" shortly after I started. I had been off for three days and in the meantime someone used her Vanilla flavored Coffee Creamer. She said that she had "a witness" who saw me pour it into one of the little pitchers and give it to a customer who requested real milk (not the non dairy stuff on the tables).

Why would I do that? It's just silly. Her "witness" was her brother who washes dishes. That guy is basically an alcoholic and just plain odd. I don't know if he rode the short bus when he was in school, but you get the definite impression that if his dad didn't own the place, he wouldn't be working there. Just a very "odd duck".

[–] jriley555 (8557) 2 years ago

I think you need a new job. Putting up with such a toxic person isn't in your best interest, short or long-term. It won't get better.

GTHO. There are other nice restaurants in the world to work at. You have options - use the owner for your reference, not her - obviously. Or your co-workers. You might have to explain that you found your supervisor impossible to work for, if asked, and simply state that she was unprofessional, personally abusive. People get it.

[–] Gubbio (3893) 2 years ago

Hello PJ. I sympathize, but you pretty much sum up her overall behavior when you say she's a "mental case." "Normal" people don't act that way over trivial stuff. And, you can't reason with people like that.

Since her dad (boss) won't rein her in, I see no other solution than to look elsewhere for work -- for your own good and mental health.

I know how hard it is (been there), but you can hope and pray for things to change, but eventually you have to do something yourself.

As for feeding the birds and animals, I'm all for it. You're taking garbage. That's none of her business.

😕

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Thanks for the sympathy Gubbio! You reminded me of what is "normal". When I started she would tell me about several customers who were a pain and how I'd get sick of them. Once she came to me in the back room where I was getting a tray of beverages and let me know my table was "real a-holes". She just did it again the other day. "That guy's an a-hole. He yelled at me before." (probably had good reason to)

In each case the customers in question were very polite, nice people and no trouble at all. In fact, I've never had a bad encounter with ANY customer there!

Suddenly I remembered that my verbally and emotionally abusive ex-husband used to refer to many people in the same way. To him, almost everyone, including neighbors, my family, etc. were a-holes. He disliked almost everyone. Perhaps her behavior seemed "normal" to me at first because I put up with a lot of verbal abuse for years.

[–] Gubbio (3893) 2 years ago

Something very wrong with her that she finds it necessary to bad-mouth customers to staff (you), especially when you don't find those customers a problem.

That negative attitude only stirs the pot and can make staff nervous and unsure of themselves. It does nothing to make the work day better. I always say it doesn't cost anything to be nice, and always make an effort to be nice to wait people and check-out clerks, and I can see a positive response in them. It just makes everyone's day a little easier.

That woman sounds "certifiable."

Not to go "psychiatric," but what is her personal life like, away from work? She sounds like a very unhappy person.

[–] db20db (17758) 2 years ago

Busted! I get an occasional kick out of episodes like this. Kind of an interesting show at times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22n0LWrxB6w

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Yes, Gubbio, I think she IS unhappy. When I realized her circumstances, I just chalked it up (her sharp tongue, negative attitude, etc.) to personal problems.

She lives upstairs with her father and the "oddball" brother that I mentioned. She tells the other waitresses who have been there longer how her "nerves are bad". She wants to return to her own house which is a few miles away (in the town where I live) but her father wants her to stay. She takes care of the business end of the restaurant. She does a lot of the shopping for the place and probably takes care of her dad's needs too. Her brother seems next to useless. After washing dishes, he often leaves early and goes out drinking. She says that her father criticizes her and dotes on her brother.

She also has a sister who works in the restaurant. Before I even met the woman, she told me how her sister is a b#tch and lazy. I've only met her a few times. She's helping out a little, but she broke her arm and can't do any waitressing. She seems like a pleasant enough person and not at all like the way my boss described her.

Bosslady's health is not so good. She's younger than I am but she's quite overweight, needs a hip replacement, a new knee and is diabetic. She smokes too. And if that isn't enough, her feet hurt a lot! She had a bad case of frostbite many years ago when the car broke down and she had to walk two miles in the snow wearing slip on shoes and not boots.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt especially when they have a lot of pain. But I guess I am just fooling myself.

[–] Gubbio (3893) 2 years ago

Sounds like a very sad situation. I am no stranger to physical problems/pain, and it can make you "edgy." But, taking it out on other people is not the answer. What more can I say? Sounds like she could use a good medical/mental evaluation, and hopefully get some help.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Oh boy, today I was so upset. I wanted to quit an hour after I got there! But now my emotions have me torn.

She told me the last time that I worked not to bring my container for scraps. Well... I brought (instead) a little grocery bag. It was in the back room and I put a piece of toast in it. On top of the bag was a little box with aspirin. One of the cooks asked me if I wanted it. For some reason, the cook had three bottles of aspirin with her.

My boss didn't see me put the toast in the bag. But a little while later she looked through my bag, found the toast and threw it in the trash yelling, "You're not taking anything."

Now, does she have a right to look through my bag like that? I said that it was thrown out by the customer who paid for it and she didn't OWN it.

"Go buy your own!" she yelled. Yet, there was a plate of toast and other food which she put aside for her dad's friend. He asks for scraps for his dog. And the guy is RICH. No joke. He's wealthy. But she throws my food out. Does she have that right? Maybe it was bread that I actually brought with me. I do bring oatmeal and other breakfast items to work.

I was furious and only spoke to her when I had to or she asked me a question. At the end of the day she gave me some leftovers from the fridge. I don't know if that was her way of apologizing. Or did she realize how truly p#ssed I was and realized that what she did was wrong?

Now I'm torn. Tomorrow I think I am going to put the bag with any scraps I take in my purse and see if she goes through it. Then we will have a serious problem.

[–] Gubbio (3893) 2 years ago

PJ, I know you're venting, but are you seriously looking for something else?

Come back to this thread and let us know how you're doing. What you are being asked to put up with is BEYOND ridiculous. I would have walked out a long time ago.

I once quite a nursing job because I refused to work a "double shift." They were going to suspend me, but I knew they were going to try something, so I handed them my resignation.

My Super was shocked: "You're not giving me any notice?!"

My reply: "You just suspended me. THAT is your notice!"

In nursing, they think they can treat you like a piece of furniture. I walked away and never looked back. "F" them all!

I heard later that my super was very upset to lose "a good nurse."

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

Venting AND looking! LOL

I knew that my days were numbered there (in the single digits!). I was married to an abuser. I don't want to work for one.

Yes, I put in other applications. Last night a nearby restaurant called and wants me to come in Saturday for an interview. They are always hiring. People seem to be afraid of hard work.

Today was a slow day, hardly any scraps to fight over! I put my bag with my lunch right behind the counter. I put ONE piece of toast in it. (I only had a few tables) I was just daring her to take something out of my bag in front of other people. Still, she looked in my bag because I heard her say to the other waitress something about, "...if she doesn't want to work here anymore..."

I went in the back and she was leaving to go somewhere (a psychiatric hospital, I hope!), she yelled, "Yeah, that was meant for you!"

Not very cool , classy or professional. I mean, to tell the other waitress something before speaking to me! As she was leaving, she screamed, "This is MY f*cking restaurant. I don't need ya anymore!"

I wanted to walk out, but I felt it was a real dick move to leave the other waitress alone even though we weren't busy.

A minute later she called and told the other waitress that I could leave and come back tomorrow for my pay. She called again and I picked up the phone. She started yelling that she didn't want me waiting on anyone else. I hung up on her.

She called the other waitress on her cell and told her to tell me that I should just sit at the counter and wait for her to get back and she'd pay me for the day.
I was not about to sit like some trained animal and wait for her to give me a few dollars.

All the while her dad who is a sweet guy is sitting there with a "deer in the headlights look". I felt very bad since his friend was sitting there with him. The friend is an old family friend of ours and he was the one who recommended me for the job.

I thanked him for recommending me. He knows my ex and I said that I was married to a psycho but I couldn't work for one. I thanked the owner and told him to tell his daughter to put the money she owes me towards psychiatric help.

Her behavior reminded me too much of my ex-husband. They are verbally abusive people who can talk and act normal for a while and then turn on you in a second. TOO stressful!

All this screaming over scraps while at the same time she had the other waitress put more leftovers in the takeout box that she was saving for some guy's dog. My ex was petty, childish, spiteful and mean. I never thought I'd encounter another version of him in my lifetime!

[–] Gubbio (3893) 2 years ago

Her obsession with scraps (garbage) is very difficult to understand. It's as if she's just looking to push your buttons. Makes no sense.

I thanked the owner and told him to tell his daughter to put the money she owes me towards psychiatric help.

BRAVO!

Good luck with your interview!!!

[–] chilone (18338) 2 years ago

I hate to say it, but she has every right to not allow employees to take ANYTHING from her place of business, including garbage. You might think it's mean or whatever, but it's her right.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

You might be right. But this was just a case of spite. She actually GAVE me scraps before. She asked me several times if I wanted to take the leftover toast to feed the birds. Why was today different? Cause she's nuts!

She has some odd, angry feelings towards me. I never did or said anything to offend her. I always came in on time and did my job and whatever else was asked of me.

But she constantly told customers how I didn't like to hand in my tip money for larger bills. I always did. A few times early on I wouldn't give her an occasional $5 because I told her I like to keep a few for my church envelopes. That made her angry. For whatever reason, I haven't a clue! I've never had a restaurant boss demand my tips because they needed change. Sure I'd hand it in but the owner is responsible for the business end of the place and keeping enough cash on hand.
Last week out of the blue she yelled out in front of everyone, "Just for being a b&tch, you can't take any more scraps!"

She had just finished harping to a customer (her nephew) how she would only give me the tip he put on his credit card in ones. I won't give her my fives, yada, yadda, ad nauseam.

I chuckled again and said that it was no threat. I don't care if she gives me ones. Somehow that set off this Psycho big time.

Today, a customer handed a five dollar bill to the other waitress to give to me.

Immediately the Psycho said, "Give me that five, I'll give her five ones."

Does she also have a right to MY tip money since it is still technically inside her place of business? I think not. She was just being spiteful, petty and arbitrary.

[–] chilone (18338) 2 years ago

I'd say that once the tip money is in your hand, she has no claim to it but like everything, one needs to pick their battles. If you plan on staying there, going along to get along might be less painful than poking the hornet's nest. On the other hand, if the bad outweighs the good, stop complaining and get the hell out of there. You said yourself that other restaurants in town need people.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

You didn't read my other post carefully, LOL I AM outta there! I just didn't want to quit without notice but today her angry "I don't need you!!" was just her "sweet" way of kicking me out.

There was no "battle to pick". I learned from a painful marriage to a similar type psycho that there is no "going along to get along" with an abusive bully.
The hours were basically part time since they close at 2PM. The tips were good when they were open but I was only getting about twenty hours a week. I really wanted to find something else. The impetus to go looking last week was her unprofessional screaming at me for no reason.

[–] chilone (18338) 2 years ago

Then the inevitable conclusion has facilitated itself. Your grousing about it made it sound as if you hadn't made the decision to leave. Complaining about a job or a relationship is pointless. Suck it up or get out. It's really that simple in a free country.

I mean no disrespect. I just look at things logically and use my personal philosophy of the three A's: Accept. Access. Adjust.

Or as Tuco said "If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk." 😀

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

You make sense. I was just allowing myself some grousing since it only happened today.

I just wish I could add a fourth 'A' to your list. I really would have liked to kick her fat 'a##' before I left. LOL

[–] chilone (18338) 2 years ago

HAHAHAHA! That would be epic! 💥

[–] Keelai (36182) 2 years ago

I've worked for many psycho bosses as well as a family business. The owner is going to take his daughter's side. She's not going to change her bullying personality. She enjoys being abusive. You're in a no win situation.

Find another job pronto.

[–] [email protected] (6248) 2 years ago

You got that right! Her dad is there most of the day. He lives upstairs. He also does some kitchen work, but he's 78 and mostly hangs out in the dining room.

He certainly is within earshot of her rants and it's amazing that her never tells her that her behavior is unprofessional. But I guess he feels "stuck" too. Where else is he going to find a manager for his place who will work as cheap as his daughter (presumably) does and who is there all day running things for him?

[–] Keelai (36182) 2 years ago

His daughter will likely inherit the business. If he doesn't care that her behavior hurts his business by driving off some customers, then he doesn't care about how you're treated by her. She sounds like she was spoiled by her parents.

"A number of restaurants around here have shorter hours or close for days at a time because they can't find people who want to work."

It sounds like they would appreciate you.

[–] AmeriGirl26 (15135) 2 years ago

Sounds like a narcissist. I hope you find a better job soon, and when you leave, write an extensive letter to that bitch's father on exactly what she has been like for you and everyone else working there.

[–] GlenEllyn (21660) 2 years ago

Everyone needs to vent from time to time, so no problem for me. Once upon a time I had a lady boss who was a real witch with a capital B. She was a chain-smoker of unfiltered Pall Malls. All she ever did was yell and chastise workers in both the warehouse and offices (the business was a music distributor). Nothing was ever good enough. I was actually happy when I was laid off after a few years. Even though I'd been doing the job successfully for more than three years, all of a sudden I wasn't good enough. Oh well... I found another better job within a few days, thank goodness.