A satellite can hover in space, but when it drops a missile, it falls to Earth.
You can slice a 900 meters per second moving bullet with a sword, from a meter range (takes the bullet 0.001 seconds to travel to target).
Every country has a briefcase that can destroy the world in a matter of minutes.
And, each country only has about 10 nuclear warheads, and will launch them all at once at war.
You have more?
- While dropping heavy objects from a satellite is a weapon of mass destruction; blowing said satellite up is a safe way to disarm it.
- Flair like guns have enough kinetic energy to blow an entire glacier of the side off a cliff.
- It's more safe to keep highly dangerous criminals unrestrained but drugged in fish tank, rather than restrained AND drugged outside one.
- Ninjas can magically create miles and miles of rope on a mountain instead of having to fly an entire container up there.
- While ICBM can be tracked in real time, any weapons satellite launched into space will go 100% unnoticed or can be hidden by a simple "Hey! Look over there!".
- The French president can't speak french (on the briefcase it says "bras" which translate to "arm" the body part instead of "armer" as in "arm a weapon").
- Having a nuclear weapon automatically means you have the long range ballistic missiles to hit any country.
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whenever the president of the U.S. holds a world conference on Nuclear Disarmament? Expect all of the world leaders to bring brief cases to set off their own ICBM's and nuclear war heads.
Korea is the "little guy"..
The president's remorseful response to setting off a world wide nuclear war: "Yeah, i pressed it"..
some days, it's not worth chewing through the restraints..
- This movie is afraid of showing any violence, save the death of 8 million people in London.
- It is imperative Roadblock takes out three HISS tanks, despite the fact they pretty much accomplished the mission whilst those tanks were active.
- When stealing a nuke, remember to cover your face despite the fact it hampers your senses.
- When receiving a medal off of the President of the United States, it is okay for a female officer to wear her hair how she feels.
- No country has 2/3/4 or so nuclear salvos waiting to be unleashed, and everyone shoots their load in mere moments.
- Merely seeing an airport in Pakistan can teleport you to the USA.
- Ninjas only respond to an alarm the moment the infiltrator is good and ready to make his escape.
- You can drive a tank like vehicle to within 10 miles of the President, and nobody will notice.
- Exploding satellites sound just like Michael Bay's Transformers moaning.
- The Joes are in fact named after their founder, John McLaine
- If you're surrounded by the Secret Service, you can use a jump cut to appear in a deserted stairwell.
- Israel is finally ready to admit it has nukes.
- You can always tell what country you're in by a conveniently placed flag in the opening shot.
- Performing a clandestine mission to North Korea should always be concluded by leaving your flag behind, thus creating a diplomatic incident.
There are guys willing to go to the battlefield without any helmets, although their bodies are covered with heavy armours.
When trying to stealthily cut through a fence at night, you should use some sort of futuristic yet highly-visible blow torch gloves instead of boring old bolt cutters.
shareWhen infiltrating an enemy compound (at the beginning of the movie) the best place to reconnoiter is directly under the bright lights along the fence.
share- They started to manufacture motorcycles that can transform into small missiles
- The president of the United States plays Angry Birds
Lakin-ite member since... well, today...
I'm Jon, and Jon is me. Together, we're one!
The best of the best international armed services can get wiped out in just a few hours.
Water wells are in the middle of the desert.
Satellites blowup for no good reason.
There is no memorial service or mourning for Joes who died bravely in battle
Cowards who hide and abandoned their unit in the battlefield stay alive and are consider heroes
This one I find offensive
Cowards who hide and abandoned their unit in the battlefield stay alive and are consider heroes
This one I find offensive
- Anything & anyone can fly into Pakistan.
- You can enter into US with a hijacked Pakistani Airplane & won't be held at airport.
- Only "RoadBlock" has the ability to get a shot at the "President".
- The captured President should be kept in the basement so it would be too easy to rescue him at once.
"Friends are dangerous things" ~ John Cavil
- You can dress like a hot hollywood actress & make the president dance with you.
- It's too easy to enter & exit the white house as if it's a bar or a pub.
- Not a single fighter plane attacked the Joes' when Roadblock was destroying those Ripsaws with his own.
"Friends are dangerous things" ~ John Cavil
- There should be flags of the country on the nuclear briefcase.
- The G.I.Joe flying hover planes can disappear without any fight.
- You should declare "Snake-Eyes" as the killer assassin of Pakistani President when you've no confirmation whether he's dead or alive.
- You can capture Snake-Eyes but you should check his face only when you're about to keep him in the cell.
- You can enter US with a hijacked plane but no one will notice.
- You shouldn't disguise if you're entering white house for espionage purpose.
"Friends are dangerous things" ~ John Cavil
The best way to start a sequel is to kill off all the main characters from the prior movie. It does wonders for continuity and it isn't like your audience was expecting to see those characters again anyway.
A guy dressed up in black body armor is definitely Snake Eyes. No need to actually check and see.
Jay Z spoke "immortal words" at some point I apparently missed.
Wear full body armor but helmets mess up the hair, and you can't have that.
A country's president being assassinated is the perfect time to take their nukes from them.
After ripping their nukes, you can drive armored vehicles right out of Pakistan. Wimps.
Roadblock's kids are the first in history to have no bedtime curfew.
G.I. Joe maybe able to pull off nearly superhuman feats against hi-tech enemies, but you can wipe out their entire force with one air strike.
Hawk, Ripcord and Scarlet, among others, apparently went on vacation.
You can't kill Storm Shadow. Only Storm Shadow can kill Storm Shadow.
Ninjas carry two harpoon guns each. They also carry a LONG rope.
Someone decided they wanted Cobra Commander and Destro pickled.
A prison in Germany has an American warden with zero German accent.
In fantasy football, you can draft Cobra Commander, Destro and Snake Eyes.
When bringing Snake Eyes to prison, make sure you keep his swords handy. Oh, and don't check for throwing stars.
Snake Eyes looks just like Storm Shadow! Oh, wait...
Firefly is the transportation, except he blew up his bike. Go figure.
Adrianne Palicki is HOT.
Snake Eyes and Jinx were trained by a blind rapper.
For a badly burned back, cream of broccoli soup works best. Forget hospitals...
An old, unused boxing gym had a computer, and hell, and old computer can be made as good as a new computer in no time at all. No internet connection or pentium chip necessary.
When fighting up hill, take the hill.
The President's wife couldn't figure out he was being impersonated over months, but Lady Jaye figured it out in minutes of viewing tape.
Flint is a dull boy, but apparently that is how Lady Jaye likes em.
Get hit by an SUV? Walk it off.
Zartan doesn't age. Maybe he shot JFK too.
Everyone loves to pick on North Korea. (This one is actually true.)
No one gives a crap about London.
Hey, Cobra, what a guy! He eliminated the world's nuclear supply in one move!!!!
When the 3 imprisoned cobras were in the water tank, they were receiving an infusion that immobilizes muscles, yet when the tanks break, they can immediately stand, walk and fight normally, also although being stripped of their clothes, somehow they can still have weapons.
Shuriken and swords are an equally matched alternative to firearms.
The ninjas and arabs always wear a full face cover, even in the privates of their own compound.
Everyone is fighting to their last breath, even if the hero killed 9 out of 10 opponents in 3 seconds, the last one will still optimistically attack.
Up in the mountains, everyone has a grapling hook gun with a seemingly infinite supply of rope that appears out of nowhere, the hooks never slide out of the rock.