let's note those 88 items on the director's check list:
1- every 10 minutes, introduce a suspect with a possible motive
2- out of ideas to get pacino out of trouble? Do a fire truck action sequence. audience won't remember anything after that.
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I think maybe I was the only one who noticed this... After Forster and Gramm's little "interview" on MSNBC, Gramm paused the broadcast using Tivo (it even made the Tivo sound effect, although nothing showed up on the TV screen).
Then, thru the wonders of our legal system, Forster was granted an immediate stay of execution (one can only assume this is due to Gramm's convincing testimonial), and Gramm's Tivo wanted him to know it, so it unpaused itself in order to start playing again in real time.
Interesting... Maybe he should get his money back for that Tivo.
Oh, and was it so incredibly hard to get a shot of the kite actually flying?
That poor girl was running desperately just to get the kite to flutter behind her, and then she had to act like she was having the time of her life doing it!
It was almost painful to watch. Makes me almost nostalgic for the kite scene from Pet Sematary...
Bigest plot hole.... and I mean HOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEE!!!!
I'll make this number:
89-> Even though you're involved in an high profile case of a serial killer, you don't know who his lawyer is... which by coincidence is your student...
I've lost all respect for Pacino...
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whats up with the cellphone was purchased by his sister?
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OMG this is the best board EVER! There are countless things terrible and stupid and nonsensical about this movie and I think they all have been named, but the whole thing with the killer giving an interview to MSNBC hours before he is supposed to be put to death? And Al Pacino calling in and being able talk to him? What? Did any of that scene make sense???
And the whole being hanged by the foot and getting raped upside down...again WTH? They didn't even explain why the killer used such a moronic way to kill someone.
"this movie was like a modern day version of Clue where EVERYBODY is a suspect, like the highly threatening police officer who has, oh god... a tatoo. dun dun dun. i kept forgetting the 59586984 characters names until i was completely confused who everybody was, and gave up trying to sort the disaster out. "
For real! I didn't remember anyone's names the moment after they were spoken. TOO MANY CHARACTERS! TOO MANY SUSPECTS! I couldn't guess who did it because everyone from the students to the dean to the tattooed cop (um what?) was a suspect. Like, Lauren Douglas did it? Ok, which one is she? Can you describe her for me?
This is my new favorite cheesiest movie of all time. I have to get this when it shows up in the half off bin at Hollywood Video in a couple months.
I quite enjoyed the scene towards the end when everything is wrapped up and Pacino is talking on the phone to the Forester character. The part I liked was when he threw the phone in a sort of "take that!!" manner and then just stood there looking like he was awkward in his own body for a few seconds.
shareHaven't read through this whole thread but I wonder if anyone mentioned the baseball game going on at 10:30 in the morning. It had to be in Seattle because the student's cell phone listed it as
Yankees 1
Mariners 3
Well at least there weren't any flipper babies!
This board is amazing. So many parts of this movie were incredibly contrived and more importantly, as stated previously, given no explanation whatsoever. Here's another that I don't thinks been said:
26: (Continuing from Harbinger-1's brilliant post) Pacino runs out of dead hooker's apartment building (seemingly unconcerned about the hanging corpse of someone he had sex with only a few hours ago). William Forsythe comes out of absolutely nowhere and says something like 'Why are you running Jack? Got something up there you want to hide?'
Because of course if someones running then they are definitely, definitely guilty of something.
I just had to mention when I saw this in the theater and they showed the scene with the hooker brushing her teeth, some guy yelled "Yeah right!" funniest thing ever.
27: Not explaining how Forster connected with the murder of Pacino's sister. If it was him he would have been like 10 years old at the time. And the killers deciding that getting Forster off the hook AND implicating Pacino for the deaths wouldnt be too much of a task to take on in what, 1 day?
28: Going the route of Cold Case using music to show the date of the event, and using such gems as Backstreet boys and Ms New Booty.
29: How many times did he use the "there's a law school across campus" to joke with his students? gah. That was just annoying. forensic psychology has a lot to do with the law, duh.
30: Alicia Witt not caring about anything really but getting in her teacher's pants while everyone she knows it dropping dead around her.
31: Who shot Guy?? And why wasnt this looked into again??
32: If Guy didnt want to be identified, and assuming he didnt since he went to jail over his girlfriend why did he always wear that trade mark leather jacket. Who does he think he is? fonzie?
33: in the opening sequence the killer runs when the window is opened and the girl screams, as if the noise could be heard by anyone wandering outside late at night. Wouldnt the noise of dragging all the pulley equipment and setting it up on the ceiling be enough to have alarmed the girls from the start?
If the word "gun" is mentioned everyone runs around like it's the coming of the apocalypse and firetruck drivers go temporarily blind.
^ LMAAOOO!
I just had to mention when I saw this in the theater and they showed the scene with the hooker brushing her teeth, some guy yelled "Yeah right!" funniest thing ever.
^ i am laughing soooo hard right now.
LOL, this is probably the best WTF movie that tries to be something it's not... I just have a few of my own, i just wrote down during the movie (because I was SO bored of it)
- If I happen to walk by the shady character that mysteriously entered my class at the exact time when I got a death threat I will simply ask "Who is that guy" and walk away
- You recognize a masterpiece when there's a completely random and out of place scene with an airplane taking off
- Waking up to a rap song and wondering for a good minute where the music is coming from, finally realizing it's the alarm clock
- Being so clumsy as to drop a phone while talking on it, and managing to crack the screen as if it was hit with a hammer
- Being completely wasted at a party but still remember everyone who was at the bar on the next day, even people I've never met before
- Signing a blank form and giving it to a shady security guard
- The line "Jack, I don't see the shooter out there, do you?"
- In the same scene as the infamous fire truck, but 20 seconds before, a policeman pointing his gun at the crowd for no reason
- An entire university building is empty in the middle of the day, convenient spot for a killer to hang a victim through a series of wire contraptions
- I am going to get a list of everyone who talked to John Forrester, the guy that's in jail and trying to set me up, except for his appeal attorney
- One girl can easily pull the same rope with one hand that 2 guys can barely manage to even keep stead
- Forster making death threats over prison telephone, after being warned by Pacino himself that it's tapped
There were so many other ones too, and yea to all the people that disprove of this thread, WE ARE JUST HAVING SOME FUN! Pacino's still in my good books, even after this
Also, by the time you get to the end of this sentence, you will realize it is just my signature.
Haven't read through this whole thread but I wonder if anyone mentioned the baseball game going on at 10:30 in the morning. It had to be in Seattle because the student's cell phone listed it as
Yankees 1
Mariners 3
I was going to mention this too, on one of the calenders it said it was a tuesday morning, and even if we say they were playing in New York it would be 01:45 PM, the Yankees did not play a Tuesday day game all year, also there were other baseball scores on there, noone plays Tuesday baseball games in the daythime except maybe the Cubs
"Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Also the part where he leaves Sobolowski's character at the campus police station he is told he has 75 minutes to live, so Soboleski is able to give her police statement, travel to pick up the papers from Pacino's assistant, travel to give them to Pacino all in 19 minutes. I know time contunity isn't going to be perfect in these movies but c'mon at least be close.
"Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
n
Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little..push.
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So how did his semen make it into nameless victim #1?
He wakes up at nameless prostitutes to the fbi having found victim #1. So when was the switch made? I'm really confused on this one.
Good point. how te heck did that serial killer guy get the professor's semen anyway. Was he saving it in his medicine cabinet or what.
shareI was on the floor rolling with laughter at this stupid movie.
Al Pacino throwing Cybill's daughter on the kerb.
"Why'd you do that?" Cybill's daughter trying to sound curious
"I just had a feeling" Al Pacino intones ominously
KA-BOOOOM!!! The porsche explodes.
Hilarious!!!
A fall from a great height removes all traces of eye make-up.
Seattle looks like Canada and every woman in the movie has a 'thing' for Al Pacino, including his gay secretary!
"I never knew magic crazy as this"share
Nick Drake
19/06/1948 – 25/11/1974
RIP
Time to revive this great yet slumbering thread. I sense there still is some complementary bashing left unfinished. So...Let's go for it!
No, wait, just let me recap some of the best lines for those of you who haven't read the full thread:
- Show a seaplane. No point, just show it.
- "I'm a firetruck driver, I kill more people than I save."
- Al Pacino's shapeshifting blob of hair.
- Agent Goober, the dead end character with the funny name.
- Guy Laforge, the suspicious ex boyfriend with the funny name.
- Pacino's amazing deductive roll going from a gun in a purse to an ex-boyfriend to a prime suspect. (it's the same jail!)
- The complete lack of synchronicity.
- After 9 years, Pacino's character still doesn't know who the accused's lawyers are.
That's all i remember...But I can really recommend reading the whole board...It's hilarious.
Here are some of mine:
- There's a lot of money to be made in "forensic psychology".
(I mean what in hell's name is pacino's professional occupation in this movie? Is he a cop that teaches class, and runs a firm specialized in forenzic psychology? And is somehow making huge profits out of that. Maybe this exuberant professional life is the reason he hasn't found time to get his hair cut properly.)
- Build an impressive vault filled with your most intimate secrets, then give other people the combination.
- If you're a female killer and you are about to get your sweet revenge, go get your hair curled before you reveal yourself.
- If you're going to use "halothane" make sure you use enough. The stuff doesn't seem to work. A potential strongpoint though: it tastes sweet.
- If someone is setting you up, make sure you erase all proof of that yourself.
- Keep a list of everyone who has ever threatened you and give them grades.
________________
When you got to shoot, shoot, don't talk.
thank god u said goober...
would a taxi driver actually let a random guy drive the cab?
also...anyone know whats the point of the hanging upside down with only one leg strapped up?
I swear I saw Pacino pull a Han Solo stealth grope on Alicia Witt in this scene.
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I think we made 88 so 88.5:
-Despite a fairly dense population density there are about 88 emergency 911 call incidents in this film that are either unnoticed by anyone or took place in Seattles famous 'ghosttown' locations where no people exist:
-Firing a bullet into an office door and nobody noticed.
-Holding a man at gunpoint right on a Seattle sidewalk in mid-day and nobody is around to see it or immediately phone 911.
-People shot in hallways. Nobody notices.
-somehow a woman is able to drag TWO bound and gagged hostages and set them up in a huge display in what appears to be the middle of a library or major downtown building... nope, nobody notices.
-Cars vandalised, cars exploding, near traffic fatality, gunshots, pointing guns.. all of this in middle of downtown Seattle but apparently no people see or do anything of it.
Explanation: In any 'high pace' scene where we Jack is supposed to be trying to spot his stalker 'with all these people around' then in that case all the people in Seattle (and apparently all the extras in the USA) are suddenly all crowding THAT particular street.
Exception:
In a crowded noisy fire escape his gun is noticed causing EVERYONE to notice and scream about it then flee in ever direction shouting 'I SAW A GUN' and then Firemen start driving firetrucks through the crowd in mad panic to escape.
But hanging bodies in a building or firing shots in an officeplace - no, nobody noticed that.
88.5 not as great as so many before it but wow this was a bad bad bad movie.
As many reasons as there are minutes in this movie.
So bad.
98.6
The scene where Pacino, Schider and Dryfuss revisit previous heartaches in the cabin over several drinks.
98.7
Where Pacino is hanging from the hour hand of the clock several hundred feet above the ground. (and this doing his own stunts)
98.8
When he finally confronts the Turk and the corrupt police captain and shoots them both over Penne pasta.
98.9
Pacino goes out to face the gang alone after all the town's people desert him.
99.
After being bitten he pleads on the night of a full moon to be locked in the room and not let out no matter what he says.
- When you've received a death threat, you will automatically assume everyone's a suspect. Not just people who have a grudge against you, but everybody, from your students to security guards you never met and of course the new attendant at the apartment, who for no reason at all tries really hard to look suspicious.
- When being stalked by a guy in a leather jacket all day, simply say "Who is that guy?" when you notice him again.
- If only one person is put in a position that makes it look like she's definitely not the killer, it means she is the killer!
- Alicia Witt has an ex-boyfriend/husband who's been in jail, which leads Pacino to conclude that he was imprisoned with Forster and thus is linked to it all. Alicia doesn't question this far-fetched leap of logic.
- When trying to frame Pacino for murder and you're recording his false confession, make sure you keep talking through his confession telling him what to say, it won't make it sounds suspicious at all.
- To celebrate the day a serial killer is going to be executed, bring cookies to the person who made the breakthrough. After all, everybody loves cookies!
- Women never casually mention that they're gay unless it will play an important part in the plot.
- Pacino will have ominous flashbacks to the party yesterday. During the flashback rap music is playing because they were at a party, while at the same time ominous music is playing as well... because it's supposed to be an ominous scene.
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." - Orson Welles
I just watched this movie last night and it was so freaking funny. Since I am a late comer to this thread everything has already been said I am still going to list the parts that made me laugh:
1. The cookies and the milk conversation: so freaking pointless and had nothing to do with plot development
2. Same with helping old lady down the stairs, pointless
3. His hair in the movie was CRAZY!
4. His photo on MSNBC: looks completely baked/drunk
5. His running: his running realy freaked me out. I at some points felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He must have ran for 75% of that movie.
6. Leelee Sobieski is so boring. She always plays the most unlikeable characters.
7. That OC guys character was pointless. It was almost like he got lost and ended up on the set so they whipped up a part for him.
8. Guy LaForge: so he was so dangerous that she had to carry around a gun, yet it was okay that he was hanging at the bar "to protect her" from Al and okay that he just showed up at the apartment.
9. Al Pacino hugs/gropes every female character in this movie at least 3 times.
This movie was so freaking bad. It was enjoyable, however, because it was so freaking ridiculous. Definitely rent it!
-During the speech about his sister's death, Gramm states, "He did things that you wouldn't do to an animal that was bred for slaughter." Might be the worst metaphor ever.
-Just as this movie ends, Gramm starts on a half genuine anecdote and finishes it with a cheesy "So, what is the first thing one should remember when entering a courtroom?"
oddly enough, i think the thing that bothered me the most about this movie was how hot the dean was, she looked like a porn star, i dont understand why women are not allowed in movies unless they are drop dead gorgeous, the dean, the assistant, every female student, i mean christ take it easy, ugly women exist in society, it's okay to put them in a movie, even if it's on purpose just to add some realism, but i guess nobody pays $10 a pop to stare at ordinary women, i dunno, maybe they had to do it to draw attention away from pacino's freak-like appearance
to flip sides though, the reason guy laforge goes from being and ex-boyfriend to an ex-husband is because the girl was lying at first when she mentioned him; not wanting to admit she married him, it's explained really quick but it is in there
- Saying "I grew up around guns" allows you to identify a gun which only came into existence long after your youth.
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Don't point a gun at al pacino while he's trying to syncronize your watch... he seems to get pissed off and slightly disappointed in you
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Come on people. You knew when you walked up to the ticket booth that three days worth of events can't be portrayed as taking place in 88 minutes without dozens of timeline errors, yet you keep talking about how he walked across the campus in 3 minutes and drove across
downtown Seattle in 4 minutes and went from the 6th floor of one building to the 4th floor of another in 2 1/2 minutes! What did you expect! Its the same thing as when you watch that idiotic tv show "24". A week of activity takes place in a day! Of course its ludicrous!
You knew that when you were buying your popcorn on the way in so quit griping about it!