let's note those 88 items on the director's check list:
1- every 10 minutes, introduce a suspect with a possible motive
2- out of ideas to get pacino out of trouble? Do a fire truck action sequence. audience won't remember anything after that.
Just wanted to remind all the critics in this thread who seem so proud to point out errors and implausability: THIS IS A MOVIE, A WORK OF FICTION. Sorry to hear that you go to films about which you are so compelled to find so much to dislike. You should do more research ahead of time, save yourself the price of admission.
share52) Stupid fanboys that who use lines like "it's only a movie" or "it's entertainment!" when the movie is terribly bad and full of flaws, are hilarious.
53) One girl that can hold up another girl hanging from a rope with one hand, she can also let go of the rope and catch it again without any problem. This same rope tied to a girl takes 2 men with all their might and effort to pull her up.
Okay, the final scene was a bit of a stretch (pun intended). As a movie fan looking for a thrill, I bought into it, like Shakespeare audiences of old who had to exercise "willing suspension of disbelief." I didn't look at my watch once and found the movie entertaining. Maybe you should be at home watching DVD's of Bergman and Fellini films. This genre is clearly beneath your tastes. But if you think using phrases like "stupid fanboys" lends any credibility to your comments or criticism, you are mistaken.
shareWell, there are different kinds of bad, and for the right movie, I'm willing to suspend disbelief and just enjoy the experience and poke fun here and there, but 88 Minutes is a different kind of bad. I'm not saying that you should be called an idiot if you liked it (or DIDN'T like it, whatever your stance may be), but this was certainly a very, very sloppy movie. It had a gimmick that could have worked, and it didn't. They pretty much betray it right out of the gate. It's supposed to be taking place in real time, but it's full of things like jump cuts and people getting back and forth across town/across campus in record time, and other characters staging elaborate plans and schemes that they couldn't possibly have time to pull off, etc. 88 Minutes pass, but it's almost like everything takes place over the course of an entire day, and it felt longer because of it. Oh, and why are so many attempts made on Pacino's life (apartment shoot-out, car bomb) if the plan was for him to survive and be in one exact place in 88 minutes? Head...hurts...
If we had just been stuck with the regular action movie stupidity (campus police force that rivals that of any big city police force, EVERYONE being made to look and act suspicious, cops letting Pacino do his own thing even though he's a murder suspect and everywhere he goes becomes crime scene, Pacino moving way too well for a senior citizen, etc.), it would have been a marginally better movie. It was an ENTERTAINING movie, partially because of it's ridiculousness, but I didn't think it was a GOOD movie by any stretch of the imagination. If any of you thought it was actually good though, I'm not going to call you names over it or anything.
Oh, and a couple more ***POTENTIALLY SPOILEROUS*** additions to the list. These aren't stupid things so much as they're lessons that this movie taught me...
54) When shooting at someone, never lift the tinted visor on your motorcycle helmet to give yourself a clearer shot or anything, even if the person's shooting back, and you're shooting to kill, which would sort of eliminate the whole need to conceal your identity anyway.
OK, these next 2 are definitely *SPOILERIFFIC* (*)
55) If a character is covered head-to-toe and wearing a motorcycle helmet, and the characters assume automatically that it's a guy (y'know, because they know one dude that rides a motorcycle, so it HAS to be him), it's not a guy. Like, never. Even if the person wearing all that stuff doesn't match the physical description (different build, different height, clearly has breasts, etc.), someone will be SURE that it's their crazy ex-boyfriend/husband, because he's the only person to ever wear leather and ride a bike...except for all those other people.
56) Leelee Sobieski can't act.
(*) SPOILER t a s t i c (all together, of course) got "beep"-ed, so I changed it. Huh..
'53) One girl that can hold up another girl hanging from a rope with one hand, she can also let go of the rope and catch it again without any problem. This same rope tied to a girl takes 2 men with all their might and effort to pull her up. '
It was in a pully system when she was holding it with one hand...
Then when she.. dropped it the rope slid out of the pulley and he barely caught it in time and it was no longer in the pulley.. so all of the girls weight was being supported by them and none by the pulley.
I dont mind gripes with a film but at least make them legitamate gripes.
You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now its my turn - Frank White
57- That no matter what girls Leelee Sobieski goes after they are all lesbians so she has no problem getting with them
58- that Ben McKenzie just gives up and we dont see him again :(
59 - the tagline "He has 88 minutes to solve a murder. His own" doesn't make any sense. This is saying that Pacino is dead and he has 88 minutes to put together facts and find his killer. Are you kidding?
[R.Kelly sings] I said, "Bitch!" She said, "shut up."
60 - Al Pacino's stupid ringtone on his cell phone. I was seriously waiting, after every time it played, for the voice at the end of it to sing "I have a golden ticket!"
~I pledge alligence to your death!~
61. Us being asked to believe that Pacino can be grinding up on every under 30 girl in a bar, and have all the girls he isnt grinding staring longingly at him.
share62. Pacino being surprised that a very hot girl who *beep* him was a prostitute.
Dude,didn´t you learned nothing with "Any Given Sunday"?
http://imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=14779475
63 - Telling us about the significance of 88 minutes, when we STILL haven't developed any feelings or cares about the characters.
share64. Pacino's new movie trailer was the only one that didn't look at all interesting.
share65 How about MSNBC doing that whole line to line thing between Gramm and Forster? Even though it is MSNBC, could never happen.
66 The whole slow motion "montage" of Gramm chucking the phone at the end. Huh?
67 The voice says at the very beginning of the "You have 88 minutes speech" that Gramm was going to die at 11:45 AM. Yet it keeps going on like a countdown every few minutes when the voice called back. Incredibly annoying.
[deleted]
i just watched this (my friend and I started watching it last night but turned it off after 25 mins- tonight I just had to see how bad it really got!!). My only comment - what about the new doorman of his apartment?! spectacularly suspicious looking. As if we hadn't enough potential suspects, they just had to give us one more! he looked like he'd dropped in from a supermarket next door. I actually thought it was David Arquette from Scream - fake tash included!!
69. Al Pacino is unable to shed tears for his dead sister.
70. The girl goes crazy about Guy's death moments after it happened, but forgets about him 2 minutes later.
71. Sobieski can hold a woman dangling from a line with her right foot, but Al Pacino and that otherr guy sruggle to lift her like she's tied to an anvil.
72. Al Pacino nearly gets run over by a motorcycle, but not two minutes later he nearly runs over two guys walking down the street with his own car.
73. Cab drivers will give you their car to drive around town for $100, plus tip.
This movie was seriously the #1 comedy of the year. I'm so happy I went.
SPOILER ALERT
74. The one semi known person in the movie not in the trailer or TV ads is obviously the killer.
I knew it was Sobieski the first time they showed her in the film, because everyone else that was a suspect was in the trailer
75) alicia witt is the worst actress in the movie. there were parts with her a nd pacino where she was smiling and trrying to hold back a laugh(probably at pacino's hair) i coluldnt believe it was left in the movie.
76)he cut my little sister to peices in 88 minutes. i've seen better actors in oscar meyer wiener commercials.
77) william forsythe can run from the 6th floor of one building to the 6th floor of another building in about 1 minute.
78) kim disappearing from the dead girls apartment and being held hostage at the college in 3 minutes.
oh my god this was a flaming piece of *beep*
SPOILER!
79) Al Pacino can be drunk enough not to remember most of a sex-filled night (so drunk he apparently didn't wake up when LeeLee Sobieski came over to grab his used condom) but still be enough of a stud to produce an amount of semen adequate to fill up 2 dead girls. Nice.
80) The most random way to brush your teeth, demonstrated by the call-girl.
81) The least convincing acting ever, demonstrated by the tortured girl on the video.
82) Everybody is weird.
83) Biting a guys hand who is about to kidnap you leaves tons of blood on your clothes
__________________________________
I Drink Your Milkshake.
84) When making a thriller stuff it full of actors, all actors. Even the guy who appears on ten current commercials. Then include lots of young women. Give all those characters very vanilla names like Kim, Shelly, Lauren, Sara, etc. Then just when the audience starts to attach the names to characters, change one of the characters names. It will make the audience stay with the story.
I think you will love this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCto3PCn8wo
One of the dumbest things for me was Ben's role. It was completely unnecessary. I think he had three scenes. The first in the classroom (though props to him having what I think was an Alienware laptop, like I have), the second in the parkade on his motorcycle, and the third in his office towards the end of the movie. I get that his role was supposed to be "Guy who could be in on it and thinks Pacino's character really did lie under oath", but there was absolutely no character development or point to him even being there.
sharei'll finish her off....
86. William Forsythe once again putting forth as little effort as possible to fulfill his typecasted angry-yet-understanding cop role.
87. The over-reliance and misuse of psychiatric terms to convey intelligence in a dull script.
88. Assuming any audience will gobble up any drivel that is put in front of them so long as it contains a well known star, a gimmick and some haphazard, slapdash action scenes strewn together between lukewarm acting and sleepy delivery.
www.outofcommissionpodcast.com - Movies, Boobs and Crap
[deleted]
you guys forgot...
if you get on MSNBC, you will have a fantastic picture shown of you.
that's what made my movie experience fantastic.
Or how about the fact that if the killer needed Pacino to make a confession, why was she trying to kill him earlier? And you'd think even a crazy lawyer would realize that the taped confession would not exonerate her boyfriend. A poorly plotted mess this is.
share7) When Pacino asks his assistant to trace the call to see who the call is coming from, the assistant replies back in a manner that she knew someone called his cell and threatened to kill him in 88 minutes...yet Al didn't say one word to her about it. Oops.
8) Anytime a character that's shown for 2 minutes is "attacked" in a stairway off camera, and then is briefly involved in other scenes for no apparent reason, it's an automatic, predictable indication that it's obviously a set-up...even if that scene in the staircase was absolutely pointless.
9) Any cop with tattoos could be suspicious.
10) If you are stalking someone on their cell phone, you can actually manipulate the phone and cut in during the middle of another call. And when you do it will sound like you were changing the dial on the radio even though it's a FRIGGIN' CELL PHONE!
share10) Bringing cookies to the psychiatrist to celebrate the execution of your sister's killer.
11) Alicia Witt taking her top off and flirting with her professor ten minutes after finding out her classmate was murdered.
12) Guy LaForge being called both Alicia Witt's boyfriend and then ex-husband.
13) Alicia Witt having a gun in her purse to protect herself from her crazed ex, then answering the door for him, saying, "He won't hurt me."
14) Al Pacino's leap of logic at connecting Guy LaForge to Forster...
- You have a gun in your purse, why?
- To protect you from who?
- Your ex went to jail where?
- He went to the same prison as Forster!
15) Classmates doing extracurricular crime solving and then suspecting their own professors for no good reason.
16) The two Asian girls at the beginning didn't look like twins at all, even if they were fraternal.
17) Pacino's cop friend threatening to blow his head off for no good reason [while pointing the gun to his stomach].
18) The bad guy having time to rig a car explosive and murder all those people, AND DO THE SEMEN SWAP, just to get a stay of execution.
19) The milk dialogue.
20) Pacino having to do a "double ploy explanation", first to Leelee Sobieski, telling her in detail how she perpetrated her crime, then a minute later to Forster, telling him how he perpetrated his crime.
21) Pacino not being smart enough to use the tape recorder to record Forster's implication when it was sitting right there.
22) Why didn't Alicia Witt just spit that wood gag out of her mouth and try to get free, or kick Leelee Sobieski or something, anything? What was she doing there at all?
23) Where we really supposed to think that Alicia Witt and then Deborah Kara Unger calling Pacino and confessing to the crimes make them suspects or possibly the killers. It only narrowed the suspects down to who the obvious killer was originally.
24) What did Pacino's sister and her death have to do with ANYTHING that occurred in this movie in the first place, other than the contrived title?
25) The intercutting the image of the plane (which took place 9 years later), with the court room scene.
26) No one asks for anybody's alibi at any point in the film, which would have wrapped things up in 8 seconds.
27) Pacino doesn't even think to call the police after receiving a death threat.
28) The extraneously long scene where Pacino scans the package for dangerous contents.
29) The awful acting of Forster's defense attorney.
30) Pacino's car being broken into and then having it repaired for the rest of the film.
31) Multiple attempts being made on Pacino's life by the killer, despite the fact that the plan is for him to be in a certain place at a certain time when the 88 minutes is up. I guess you could argue that the killer was intentionally missing him during the apartment shootout, like just trying to flush him out of there, but the car bomb? Come on...
32) The campus looked mighty dead during what probably would have been lunch time.
33) No reasons given whatsoever for the ridiculous way the victims were murdered.
34) Cringeworthy classroom dialog.
35) WTF was the point of the interrogation scene?? The video was self-explanatory.
man I think im gunna rent this went it comes out...sounds hilarious! :D
one of those so bad movies you have to see em haha
"12) Guy LaForge being called both Alicia Witt's boyfriend and then ex-husband."
- I didn't notice this but that is frigging hilarious.
"24) What did Pacino's sister and her death have to do with ANYTHING that occurred in this movie in the first place, other than the contrived title?"
- Haha, I was thinking the EXACT same thing. It had nothing to do with anything. And what was the reason why the killer even wanted to use 88 minutes? To hurt Pacinos feelings? So stupid. Some poor attempt to try to add emotion to a script that was probably thrown together in 88 seconds.
Think the new Wicker Man but not as ostentatiously funny or crazy. Most of the dumb aspects of the film aren't readily evident, they just kinda pop into your brain when the credits roll and you are like, "That was the worst movie ever, and here is why..."
Definitely Rent.
[deleted]
-38) Pacino helping the old lady down the stairs. It's not that an old lady shouldn't be helped down the stairs, it's just that there were so many ridiculous suspects I'm surprised she wasn't one of 'em.
Yes, how could I have forgotten!? It's on par with the whole milk dialogue. What was the point? How did it fit into the film, much less the script?
- It takes 7 minutes for the time to change from 11:06PM to 11:08PM on MSNBC.
-------------------
Patrick Coppolino
i've no idea what number we're on...
* the fact that it is BLATANTLY lauren douglas from the moment she is supposedly 'attacked' in the car park, and instead of being shaken up and wanting support she tells Pacino to run out and find him, he has a bleeding hand... QUICKLY GO!
* the killer is a girl. AND the killer is a small-ish, lightweight girl. god it annoys me when films do this. even though i know she used a chloroform, she had the strength to strap them upside down with ropes.
* no character development on carol whatsoever. i didn't even care when she was hanging upside down, ready to fall to her death because i didn't know what her relevance was in the whole film.
* mike/benjamin mckenzie's bit part in the movie. not that i adore this actor or anything, but again... no character development, i knew next to nothing about him, and thought his place in the movie was totally unjustified. what a naff character.
It's on 44. :)
44. Assuming that the 88 minutes were supposed to be happening in real time (I didn't time it, I could be wrong)... everything in Seattle is only 1 minute away from everything else, I guess -- when he got into the cab, he said that he needed to go to the girl's apartment across town. Then, when Kim LEAVES that apartment, in about four minutes she's already made it to the 7th floor of the school building with the killer, calling Pacino.
BEST THING ABOUT THIS MOVIE: HOW HARD THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS MAKING ME LAUGH!!
Treachery is the way of the Sith.share
Oh yeah...
45. At the beginning of the current day script, Frank calls Jack while he's still in bed, and he says something like, "It's happened again." Either someone else was murdered recently, before Dale, or he just assumes that Jack will know that he's referring to a copycat murder of a nine year old crime. As an FBI forensic psychologist, he must not have a lot of work, because he in fact knows EXACTLY what Frank is referring to.
46. Near the end, in Jack's office, Mike says to him, "How do I know you didn't kill those women, too?" And then I'm 99% sure he says the names Dale and Sara. Jack had just discovered Sara's body less than 10 minutes before, so how did Mike know she was dead?
47. Guy LaForge. Just the most ridiculous character in the history of movies. I laugh every time I think of him and all the ridiculous ways they used him in the movie. I want to start calling any strange, suspicious people I meet Guy LaForge, will anyone else back me up?
Treachery is the way of the Sith.share
48) Now that I think about it, why did Lauren mess herself up and tell Pacino to run after her attacker? Was there even a point to that whole scene?
49) The climax of the movie: the slow motion cell phone throw...
50) A student stands between a door and the man he suspects of being a serial killer, who points a gun at him, and says "are you gonna shoot me?" like it's the most ridiculous thing that could happen.
50) A student stands between a door and the man he suspects of being a serial killer, who points a gun at him, and says "are you gonna shoot me?" like it's the most ridiculous thing that could happen.
_______________
This is one of the funniest posts in the thread. I am cracking up. I want to see this movie again just to relive this and all the other absurd happenings.
Note to Director:
It was so obvious that LeeLee Sobieski was the killer...from the start:
Reason 1 -- She isn't a famous actor but well-known enough that she wasn't
going to take a part to be in-effect a 'background' actor, so, when I saw her pop up here and there i KNEW there was some extended scene that was the reason she signed up for this flick...it was just so obvious.
Reason 2 -- The attack in the garage....i swear as soon as this happened it felt staged and I said to myself...she did it. Her acting was awful...so bad. Why is she so concerned that this 'attacker' be captured NOW and is practically pushing Pacino through a door as he attempts to console her??? You would think the trauma of the event would have her begging for Pacino to get her to a hospital or some safe place....maybe its just me but....
Note to LeeLee on the final scene....oh my god, that contrived acting was the worst. Al Pacino must have been saying to himself, "Marlon Brando, Jimmy Caan to this, Ugh".
Al Pacino is my favorite actor, but, it is selections like this that make me think he no longer cares what movies he's in, its sad.
Al Pacino is my favorite actor, but, it is selections like this that make me think he no longer cares what movies he's in, its sad.
I disagree because I believe that he does care about what kind of movies he is in, but the better quality scripts don't always pay enough. He does these kinds of movies so he can do The Merchant of Venice, Salomaybe, Chinese Coffee, etc.
John Malkovich, Robert DeNiro & Steve Martin are also known for doing this.
Hilmir Snaer Gudnason is sexy
John Favreau is sort of known for that too. While he was doing the indy stuff early on, he was also popping up in bit parts in bigger movies, like Deep Impact and The Replacements, and turning those paychecks around and using them to help finance and develop the smaller stuff. I guess he's sort of the opposite of those other examples though, as he was doing it more towards the beginning of his career. Worked out pretty well for him though, eh?
Speaking of Malkovich though, I think I remember seeing an article way back when, around the time the first Spider-Man was out, where it mentioned that he had been offered and turned down the Green Goblin role, citing that he didn't want to do a silly genre picture, or something like that. Uh, did he SEE Con Air? Now THAT was an entertaining paycheck movie!
Freyagoddess,
Does he really need the money after acting for close to 40 years? I mean, we are talking about Al Pacino here. I think he's got enough cash :)
I've got no problem with actors doing that, but, again we're talking Pacino. Deniro has done this in the past several years and I find it equally annoying.
Deniro and Pacino are in a movie next year together...the same director from this movie... i am a little worried. :)
Um....yes he needs the money. You may or may not know this, but he went bankrupt in the 80's.
Brilliant actors sometimes do bad projects that pay well so that they can do good projects that don't.
Hilmir Snaer Gudnason is sexy
51) When you think your car might blow up, grab the woman next to you and throw her and yourself to the ground. If it doesn’t explode immediately don’t worry, it will. (That was probably the FUNNIEST part of the movie for me. At that point, I didn’t even care that it was horrible anymore)
52) In movies like this, they will either have a Hide and Seek/Fight Club ending, or a random character who you’ve seen once in the film will be the killer with some long drawn-out explanation that doesn’t make sense.
53) All men must flush their condoms/make sure the woman showers IMMEDIATELY after sex or they will be implicated in the rape and murder of someone across town.
54) Students always have access to their professor’s office and will go search through their desk, recognize someone else’s bag, and go through it. Then, assuming that this man is a psycho killer, will try to block their exit from the room, even when the gun is pointed at them. (This was the second funniest part of the movie, when Al shot right above his head and said, “I guess I’m a bad shot”
55) You can assemble a very complicated pulley system in any campus to hang a body from in a very short period of time, even if the campus police is searching the building for a bomb.
This thread is hilarious.
Lol
I love Pacino but seriously WTF??
After watching 88 Minutes this thread has really cheered me up.
Thanks!
:-)
Oh, awesome...I wrote up a thread here before on the bad dialogue, but I will add it to this list instead lol.
56) The defense attorney totally pulled a Dennis Miller with that speech - wtf was that all about?! Did she use a thesaurus to write that?
57) The repetitive dialogue: "How did anyone get my secure files in my secure file room?!" "It wasn't me...I don't even have security clearance for your secure files!" etc etc
58) The weird dialogue: "Can you tell me how your semen wound up in her vagina?!" Is that really neccesary now??
Tick Tock Doc has to be one of the worst lines in a movie. Made me want to stop watching every time I heard it.
share********
SPOILERS
********
Seriously, this movies has so many flaws, that I can't imagine how it got into the cinemas. I really should start making films by myself soon.
Anyway... here's another good mistake:
** Accident at the garage. LeeLee has the attacker's blood all over her face and clothes. She goes in the police to testify and yet no one takes blood samples... C'mon they were sure it was the killed who attacked her :)
Her acting was really awful. I didn't like Al's role as well to be honest. I didn't also identify with his character either and didn't care if he dies after his minutes or not...
And dunno why, I had the feeling I'd already watched that movie before.
61- How did Lauren get into the protected files if Shelly fell asleep on the couch? Even if the door was left open to the vault, everything was still under a numerical code.
62- How did the "permission slip" to visit the prison that Mike used get forged- with the identical forgery that was used on Jack's credit card for the hooker?
63- How did Jack's credit card get imprinted by the hooker on an old fashioned credit card slip?
64- How did the credit card slip used by the hooker get forged? (with the same signature used on the permission slip?)
I'm so full of valium, I rattle.
"61- How did Lauren get into the protected files if Shelly fell asleep on the couch? Even if the door was left open to the vault, everything was still under a numerical code. "
Did you even watch the movie? When Shelly is telling Jack about the security breach that must have happened when she fell asleep on the couch with Lauren/Lydia, she gives him a surveillance picture and explains, "this is the person that must have rifled through my files and found the combination to your vault and took the tape".
Try paying attention.
[deleted]
You all got my favorites, but a sign of just how bad this movie is? After all the mistakes so far, I got at least 20 more.
65 - The Cab driver. This could take some time, but this was just beautiful.
Not only do cab drivers simply gawk like a transfixed redneck at the sight of an exploding Porsche, but he'll happily endanger his own life, his No Claims bonus and his job for $100. Not only that, but he'll sit quietly in the backseat, whilst his driver talks about all manner of gruesome, bloody murderous stuff on his cell. Now on the surface, this might seem fine, but that's only because the Director made the correct choice of barely showing him on Camera. Imagine he had. The petrified look of the innocent cab driver as Pacino handbrake screeches another corner.
66 - The amazing way that everyone was happy to be in Pacino's company, Including DRIVING HIS CAR, despite the fact he was swamped in death threats.
67 - How self-satisfied of a schmuck, and instantly dislikable, Pacino looks when he's dancing.
68 - Chosing a Gangsta theme soundtrack to open your movie, which bares no relevance to the style and ends up feeling tacked on at the director's guilt of the apparent lack of black people in 88 Minutes Seattle.
69 - The funniest toothbrushing sequence in all of human history. Add heartfelt Piano soundtrack. Laugh till sides hurt.
70 - Pacino's sister used to fly a kite on the beach. Pacino's sister used to fly a kite on the beach. Pacino's sister used to fly a kite on the beach. Pacino's sister used to fly a kite on the beach. Pacino's sister used to fly a kite on the beach. Pacino's sister used to fly a k...
71 - Intercut Kite flying with gruesome murder scene photographs to illustrate juxtaposition between playful innocence and nasty ole murder. Keep doing it till credits done. Girl also keeps mentioning Daddy in flashback sequence. Was Pacino originally supposed to be father?
72 - Show a seaplane. No reason. Just show a seaplane.
73 - A call girl, employed for no other reason but to gather semen, will still cook you breakfast despite her job having been done. Upshot of this? Hookers understand the importance of a healthy diet. Add a pinch of why the hell is she taking punters back to her place, especially considering Pacino's kick ass apartment.
74 - If we are at Hooker's apartment, where is PAcino's entire wardrobe coming from. Black T-shirt when he sleeps. Red shirt with no T-shirt when he wakes. Pacino is so badass and money, he takes a spare set of clothes for all the time he's gonna hook up.
75 - Seattle Slayer.......Seattle... Slayer. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hahhhhhhh.
76 - Despite dialogue mentioning Guy LaForge ended up in a random bar and therefore couldn't have followed Pacino anywhere, he ends up outside the window of Sara the Hooker's apartment. How in all that is good and pure did he know where she lived?
77 - PAcino has something fundimentally against tattoos. The cop and the first cap driver.
78 - 8 minutes in, woman in office stares directly at camera waiting for her cue. Director leaves it in.
79 - Despite aluding several times to Modus Operandi, at no time feel the compulsion to explain Forester's M.O. or explain why he feels the need to hang victims upside-down by one foot.
80 - Milk? You want Milk? MILK FOR EVERYBODY! .......Heyyy no-one touched their milk!
81 - MSNBC over-caffeinate their Make-up department who plaster convicted serial killers with a trowl until they look like a Paris Hilton groupie.
82 - 19 minutes in. Pacino can't get out of a porsche without looking a ****.
83 - If you get a cell phone death threat, immediately test a lecture hall of students by mentioning a prior victim's name to test for reactions. Whole world of suspects, but chances are it's one of your students. Hell, you've seen the movies. IT always is. Also make "quitter" jibe, just to really disrespect the dead.
84 - Phone calls were clearly on a time delay system, since killer is in lecture hall, but voice on other end will still allow for precise pauses to allow Pacino to answer the robot.
85 - Lydia is in lecture hall when someone calls in a bomb threat. Who?
86 - Luckily Pacino manages to get to every message on time, despite 76 minutes written on a projector screen that he may never have seen and 72 minutes written on a car which he may not have arrived at for another 5 minutes.
87 - All students act weird. Even the extras who just stand and stare like.... well like cab drivers who witness car bombs.
88 - Rich famous forensic man has crap plastic and easily breakable cell phone. Poor student who by admission in her own later monologue had nothing, owns Blackberry.
Lets go again.
1 - Pacino runs and throws phones like a big girl.
2 - Blood is permanent. It can not be rubbed off a person's hands in a nano-second.
3 - Girls with tied back hair and no make-up are sweet and innocent. Girls with long straggly hair and far too much eye make-up are gun-wielding homicidal sociopaths.
4 - When using lines apologising for causing trouble, say "Sorry for all the trouble..." Then add the words "I caused" in an entirely unnatural way thus spoiling any twist finale.
5 - Laforge is a well known British name. I live here. I know loads of 'em.
6 - Just in case the name Mike doesn't ring a bell, despite being Pacino's only speaking male student, insert pointless sepia-tint flashback sequence when his name is mentioned.
7 - No one cracks even the slightest schoolboy smirk when introduced to Agent Goober.
8 - Constantly attempt to kill a man even though you originally gave him 88 minutes just to show how truly evil and underhanded you really are. Frame him for murder, but, despite all this, still expect him to show up to your overly-elaborate denouement.
9 - Pacino turns down Alicia Witt left on a plate for him. PAcino = Gay. Not a mistake you say? Damn well sounds like one to me.
10 - Pacino cuts his nose. No-one explains why!
11 - Any nutball, clown prince of Wacko-land can become either a campus security guard or a security desk temp.
12 - Guy is the only man in Seattle who wears bike leathers. In fact if someone even mentions an incident with Bike leathers you can bet ole Guy was there. In fact if a security guard even mentions Bike leathers you can guess it was Guy. Oh and if delivering a package, a courier will keep his helmet visor down at all times and mumble the details of the delivery, rather than flip the visor up and reveal themselves to be a women.
13 - Women in tight figure-hugging Bike leather look identical to men in tight figure-hugging bike leather. And they walk the same. And apparently talk the same.
14 - Pacino decides to take Forster on in a live TV debate. Try and push his buttons. Show what kind of a man he really is. On Pacino's performance, I'd have executed Pacino.
15 - Staring intensely at a tape recorder makes it work when it didn't before.
16 - Pacino can't act startled. Especially physically which ends up looking like the aftermath of electro-shock treatment.
17 - If your sister died horrifically in full audio glory, keep a tape of it handy for a rainy day.
18 - Old women emersed in a thin veil of smoke tend to over-act.
19 - If the word "gun" is mentioned everyone runs around like it's the coming of the apocalypse and firetruck drivers go temporarily blind.
20 - Dramatic tension music will stop at moments of indecision then begin again in earnest as the hero notices something new.
21 - "It took 88 minutes to hack my little sister to bits."
Alicia is crying. Al Pacino is attempting to cry, but relies heavily on the patented head clutch, cover of the eyes. THE REST OF THE WORLD ARE IN PAIN FROM LAUGHTER!...Apparently the sister-killer laughed too. Isn't it worrying when you find more empathy with the cold-blooded killer!?
22 - Likely killers will phone you up and talk like they're being prodded in the back with a rusty fork. Still the audience will suspect them.
23 - Witt leaves Sara's appartment with a gun. She still ends up the killer's bi**h within minutes. No explanation necessary.
24 - If a bleeding individual is suspended somewhere above you, blood always drips on your shoulder. In spite of the immense size of the venue.
25 - Lydia utters the immortal line "You look so totally clueless!".....if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.
I could go on and on, but there's a point at which this becomes obessive...
...And I just sped right on past that point in a hired cab, with a screaming cab driver in the backseat.
I gave this drivel 2/10 ..... and that was generous.
'7 - No one cracks even the slightest schoolboy smirk when introduced to Agent Goober.'
THANK YOU! Why in the heck did they name him that, out of of any name on the Earth you could have called this guy and they choose Agent Goober.... Everytime they said it I was like wtf? lmao.
Zoppity Zoppity give me the boppity
-Michael Scott & Darryl
I watched this obviously because desperately I want to see another great movie from Pacino again, but Nope it doesn't seem to want to happen anytime soon.
'8 - Students more than eager for class participation, answering questions with millisecond reflex times.
'9 - If you're the professor in a lecture hall leave your cell phone on 'ring mode' and no one will ever be annoyed by it.
'10 - How many people have you run into who follow court cases, and how many that remember the name of witnesses! Everyone from the security guard to top students seem to follow the Forster case and know Jack.
'11 - be extremely surprised if people react when you calmly show them your purse with a gun in it, and also make sure that's first thing they see when you open it!
'12 - How many people do you know who walk around with an extra battery for their cell phones?
hmm.. did anyone else see the humour in how the victims were left, hanging by the.. foot? there was one scene where alicia witt and pacino were having some sort of profound, meaningful conversation in a kitchen after discovering one of the many victims, i have no idea what they were talking about though from being distracted by the hilarious/ridiculous silhouette of the dead corpse hanging from her leg in the background, also in that scene, did anyone find it a tad bit funny when witt and pacino leave the apartment, pacino's secretary sticks around with the dead chick and starts making phone calls??
this movie was like a modern day version of Clue where EVERYBODY is a suspect, like the highly threatening police officer who has, oh god... a tatoo. dun dun dun. i kept forgetting the 59586984 characters names until i was completely confused who everybody was, and gave up trying to sort the disaster out.
hmm.. THE ACTING. wow. i don't know what to say! Witt and Sobieski stole the show in regards to pitiful acting, but as an ensemble, the whole cast was really quite horrible!
oh. also, what was with pacino being such a ladies man at the bar and such? i believe if your average university student, such as myself, saw a man like that in the real world hitting on all his hot, young, female students he would be immediately recognized as a sexual predator/nasty old man and avoided at all costs.
milk scene = most awkward scene i've ever seen in a film.
cinematography in relation to camera movement. omg i needed a gravol after this, was there any need to move the camera around like that?
ps. besides witt, was every woman in this film a lesbian??
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