MovieChat Forums > Chasing Amy (1997) Discussion > Why do most people feel sorry for Holden...

Why do most people feel sorry for Holden but not Alyssa?

posted 17 years ago by cubefn
126 replies | jump to latest

Alyssa changed her whole life around for Holden where he didnt have to change a thing, she points this out to him in the movie, at the beginning of the film she was already in a relationship with another woman before Holden came along then she ended it to be with him changing her entire sexual orientation, alienating all her friends, a total upheavel of her life. Then Holden finds out about her past and wants her to do more just so he can feel like a big man?! Then a year later after she shifts her life drastically once more, because if you didnt notice she wasnt with another man at the end it was a woman, meaning she had to change her sexual orientation once more and then Holden comes along with a comic book that basically apologizes and admits he was wrong and what is she suppose to do change her entire life again because this man is really slow on the uptake?

So I ask those who sympathize with Holden: How can you feel sorry for this trifle little fool of a man???????

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Dr_RoButtnik 11 years ago

I think she's smart and knows what she's doing. He's the one whose confused so we feel bad, but she's on top of her wants and needs.

"Weirdness was all he cared about. Weirdness and sex and plenty to drink."

[–] gtbarker 10 years ago

I don't. She was the victim, he was an idiot. If you can't handle someone's past then you're not grown up nor good enough to be with them. You love what they do with you and not hate them for what they were.

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] daburgundy 10 years ago

Kid, first this movie is in 90's and secondly he is a catholic that is why he was acting like a fool but believe me it is not easy understanding Holden while watching the film I too wants to punch him in the face. Alyssa on the other hand had the upper-hand she is like a hustler in a sense so I say we only feel sorry for her coz we witness her how much she tried and fell in love just to fail BIG time.... :( so.... how did you end it? :)

Les Noir

[–] ankharra 10 years ago

I feel sorry for both of them in different ways. Holden found the perfect woman for him but let his insecurity destroy their relationship, and then thought that the only thing that could make it better was to make the relationship far more complicated by adding Banky so he could address his own subconscious attraction to Banky.

Alyssa, I feel sorrier for her. She seemed like she was very lonely in the past, searching for love in all the wrong places to fill an emptiness inside, and she learned from her past and learned to accept it as what made her who she was. After some experiences with men that didn't help, then she found out that she could have a more fulfilling relationship with other women. Then she found a guy who she fell in love with, who filled the needs she had. He learned about her past, and he couldn't accept her for who she was. Instead of listening to her and learning that she wasn't the same person who had been "Finger Cuffs," he used it against her.

===

Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will.

[–] littlemchugh 9 years ago

I feel sorry for both characters.
Holden because he was madly in love, but this alongside his immaturity (not in sexuality, in life & love) ruined his relationship.
Alyssa because she altered her life for this man that eventually treated her like "a whore" by believing she would obviously be up for a threesome just because of her past experiments.

Neither character is a villian, which is why I love this film. I wish people would stop trying to pick the good guy & bad guy in romance films! Im not attacking you personally, it's just a trend I always see on IMDB when I think, as with real life, it's never that black & white.

[–] borabosna-625-510324 8 years ago

I didn't sympathize with Holden so I guess I'm not the target of your question, but I think people don't sympathize with Alyssa because:

1. the whole "changing her sexual orientation" thing is *beep* people are not buying it, sexual orientation is not something you can just "choose", and Alyssa came off as indecisive and selfish about her sexual orientation, and not really a lesbian, but rather "changing" her mind whenever it suits her, she's been with men before;

2. Alyssa was involved in a man hating exclusionary radical feminist lesbian community.