MovieChat Forums > Chasing Amy (1997) Discussion > Why do most people feel sorry for Holden...

Why do most people feel sorry for Holden but not Alyssa?

posted 17 years ago by cubefn
126 replies | jump to latest

Alyssa changed her whole life around for Holden where he didnt have to change a thing, she points this out to him in the movie, at the beginning of the film she was already in a relationship with another woman before Holden came along then she ended it to be with him changing her entire sexual orientation, alienating all her friends, a total upheavel of her life. Then Holden finds out about her past and wants her to do more just so he can feel like a big man?! Then a year later after she shifts her life drastically once more, because if you didnt notice she wasnt with another man at the end it was a woman, meaning she had to change her sexual orientation once more and then Holden comes along with a comic book that basically apologizes and admits he was wrong and what is she suppose to do change her entire life again because this man is really slow on the uptake?

So I ask those who sympathize with Holden: How can you feel sorry for this trifle little fool of a man???????

[–] lulsiano 17 years ago

i didn´t feel sorry for holden
i felt angry about him
after silent bob had talked to him bout the chasing amy thing plus the talk that hooper had with him at the store
i thought with plenty sure that he would realize he was being an *beep* and forget something that alyssa did about a decade ago when they never even have met each other
and the idiota comes up with a "brilliant" idea of a menage
gee after he said that he deserved to be dumped
i even think that she was to good by yet explain again why she couldn´t do it
and how she loved him so much
what does it mean what happened 10 years ago?
who hadn´t done crazy things in the puberty throw the first rock

[–] circus14 16 years ago

first I don't think Alyssa's previous relationship was exactly a relationship what she said in the bar scene was 'I don't love her but I am going to f*&%k her' so I doubt she left too much. She got into the relationship not to do Holden a favor but because she wanted to.

And Alyssa is the more mature person in the film, she makes her choices she plans her life and she finds it much easier to go back to balance at the end of the film -she is already in a relationship when she meets Holden. Holden is lost, confused and ends up losing the woman he loves and his best friend and not due to a big mistake/ sin/ or insensitivity but because he is simply too insecure and has too little life experience and none of the maturity Alyssa has earned. At the last scene we find him alone trying to figure his life out whereas Alyssa is settled.

---I don't know enough to be incompetent.---

[–] kardplayer-1 16 years ago

Is Alyssa a more mature person? I think that is a stretch. Sure she is in a relationship at the end of the movie, but that says nothing about her maturity. Alyssa is a hottie. A hottie can always be in a relationship if she wants to. And just how mature is her relationship? Well the one thing we hear her say to her new girlfriend is that Holden is "just some guy" she knew. In other words, she is doing it again. She is lying to her new partner about her sexual past. Will this girl flip out when she inevitably learns the truth about Alyssa? Well based on the way her lesbian friends in NYC freaked when they found out she was dating Holden, the answer seems likely to be a resounding yes. The more I think about this movie, the more I have to conclude that, although it was Holden who blew it with his insecurity, it was Alyssa who poisoned it with her dishonesty. And let there be no doubt, Alyssa's dishonesty grows out of her own immaturity and insecurity.

[–] doc-animation 13 years ago

BRAVO!!! That is exaclty how it should be seen as...

[–] HansLandasBingoWings 16 years ago

Alyssa's voice is f u cking annoying that's why!

[–] lulsiano 16 years ago

annoyng?
her voice is so sexy
joey lauren adams is damn sexy

[–] shireythehorrible 16 years ago

i dont think people sympathize with holden so much as we empathize with him. most of us have sabotaged a relationship at some point in our lives because of our insecurities. its easy to say youre accepting of someones past but its another thing to live with it every day. try blocking rick darius out of your thoughts.

thats not to say that alyssas character is a complete whore but it certainly skews your expectations of her past. if she can pull a fast one and lie about her orientation what makes you think all those sweet talks were genuine?

its easy to see holden as a bonehead because the prominent theme is regret. sure you'll move on but you'll always lament that mistake. i think that was best said in silent bobs speech stemming from kevin smiths own personal experience.

[–] angelelaura 16 years ago

if she can pull a fast one and lie about her orientation what makes you think all those sweet talks were genuine?

I really don't think thats an issue, its never said or raised in the film, and its made clear that alyssa is gay in all purpose apart from her feeling for holden, she also never lied about being with men, she just didn't tell him, if he assumed that she hadn't then thats his problem, most of the lesbians that I know have been with men in their past, but i only know this because I was friends with them at the time, its not something they talk about a lot...

I do feel sympathy for holden, but i am WELL aware this is mainly because he's being played by Ben Affleck and he's very easy to sympathise with, when he cries when Alyssa leaves him you see how much he wants to be with her, so at the end of the day its sad that she leaves him even if it was the right thing for her to do

But overall Alyssa is the one i sympathise with the most, the slap is an amazing moment of the film, I think its very powerful and shows how much she's been hurt by him...the first time I watched the film I couldn't believe Holden's proposition or how he was so blind to see how insulting it was to Alyssa...

But yeah I think alot of sympathy towards Holden comes from the actor rather than the character...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jr48s3OHrZ8

[–] creaturefeeture 15 years ago

I agree with you completely and by the second half of the movie I strongly disliked Holden. I think he was acting very selfishly with both Alyssa's emotions and Banky's. But I guess it makes the film stronger. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I sympathized more with Alyssa and even Banky than I did with Holden. They're all at fault in their own ways but I felt that Alyssa got the shortest end of the stick.

Voting History: http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=26598711

[–] DarcyBrandon 15 years ago

I feel bad for Alyssa because she did explain to Holden why she felt she couldn't be 100% honest with him. Holden couldn't believe her when she told him that he was everything she was looking for and he was happy thinking he was the first guy she had ever slept with. Sure Alyssa had a crazy past but that's exactly what it was, her past. She found the right person and the right kind of life that made her happy and Holden just kept looking for something wrong with the relationship. Plus, Hooper and Silent Bob gave Holden advice, hell even Jay told Holden he had a good thing with Alyssa.
I thought it was sad in the end when Holden tried to re-connect with Alyssa but I guess we are left with the idea that it was too late and Alyssa had already moved on.

[–] johnmichael-2 15 years ago

I think the reason why many people on here seem to feel more for Holden than Alyssa is because more of Kevin Smith's audience is probably in Holden's position: that is, they're male and probably have had sexual experiences closer to Holden's than Alyssa. As such, they sympathize more with Alyssa. It's as simple as that.

Personally, I sympathized with Holden on the amount of sexual experience part, and I sympathized with Alyssa on the sexual identity part. But, in the end, I think I'm a bit more like Holden, so I just happened to sympathize more with him. But I loved Alyssa's character so much. This movie was so f&cking amazing.

Proud member of SHREWS (Society for the Honor Required of Eyes Wide Shut)

[–] sammythemc 15 years ago

I feel bad for Alyssa too, but I feel a little worse for Holden. I think it's because Holden made a mistake, acknowledged it, and apologized, even if it was a little late. It's hard not to feel sorry for a guy who ruins the best thing in his life while he's doing his level best to save it.