Lancaster Bowl Manager: Look, I've told you. We don't need nuthin'. We don't even have a novelty machine in the men's room anymore.
Roy: And you call yourselves a bowling alley?
Roy: Take that, you freaky piece of *beep* You don't mow another guy's lawn.
Ishmael: Ten frames?
Ishmael: That's for Quakers.
Roy: Hey! Listen, you stupid banana head! You don't have to bet. I'll bet for you.
you don't mow another guy's lawn!!!
“Can't go wrong with taupe."- Wynn Duffy
Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.
Roy Munson: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.
Roy Munson: WHO YOU CALLIN A PSYCHO??!!??
Ernie McCracken: I just said, “twisting your arm” to Munson… I can't wait to tell people.
Lighten up, Francis
I cracked up so hard the first time I saw that scene where Big Ern is "narrating"!
"You're paying too much for your worms, boss. Who's your worm guy?"
After Ish hurts his hand, he's hiding in the hotel room bathroom. Roy knocks on the door and asks, "Ish, are you OK? You're not taking a crap in the sink, are you?" (Alluding to his earlier "mistake" on the urinal.)
shareRoy "I'll give you a hint, its round, it has three holes in it, and you stick your fingers in it"
Ish "You leave Miss Rebecca out of this"
When Ernie recognises Claudia, Roy can't believe it.
Roy : "You know him?!"
Ernie : "It's a small world when you've got unbelievable t*ts, Roy."
Just about everything that Big Ern (Murray) says is quotable. Even the sight gags are hilarious. Love the way Big Ern's bad combover unravels toward the end and becomes this monstrous sight consisting of lank hair hanging off to the side and back lit by the spotlights of the big tournament, particularly in the shot where he defiantly raises his bowling ball.
[deleted]
"Oh, my little Roy-toy. What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? I guess it's all that pumping. Pump-and-dump. You really jarred something loose, Tiger."
Epic.
"Ah home-sweet-hell."
Al Bundy
Nitz, here you go:
Full Scene: http://youtu.be/5zIDgPVg9HM
Your quote starts here: http://youtu.be/5zIDgPVg9HM?t=50s
Peace, Love, and
Flossin? Where did I get Munson from?
shareA few of mine haven't been posted yet.
Roy: What are you doing with sugar, Mr. McCracken?
Ern looks in the back seat at the sugar.
Ern (stuttering because he's trying to think of an excuse): Didn't I... tell you, to call me Ernie or Big Ern? It's for my morning coffee.
Roy: I don't know about this Mr. McCracken. Something doesn't seem right.
Ern: Takes a lot of guts to say no, kid. You got a lot of courage. I don't know if i could tell my mommy and daddy I didn't have what it takes to make it on the tour. Alright, let's go. You better call them before they go to sleep. (Checks watch) Hurry up.
Roy: Alright.
Ern: Nice flip flop. Way to go.
"You're paying too much for your worms, boss. Who's your worm guy?"
- Brother Thomas, you know what it says in the Bible about not forgiving people, right?
- Why don't you tell us all what it says?
- Well, it's against it!
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- What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap?
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- Say there, buddy, you gonna buy the beers or the whole place? *laughs*
(not very funny as a line per se, but just the way the dorky bartender guy says it & laughs plus Bill Murray's mock amusement that follows)