Lancaster Bowl Manager: Look, I've told you. We don't need nuthin'. We don't even have a novelty machine in the men's room anymore.
Roy: And you call yourselves a bowling alley?
Roy: Take that, you freaky piece of *beep* You don't mow another guy's lawn.
Ishmael: Ten frames?
Ishmael: That's for Quakers.
Roy: Hey! Listen, you stupid banana head! You don't have to bet. I'll bet for you.
*Horn honks* "I'm sorry did I wake you Fatima?"
"You're on a victory train with biscuit wheels"
I'm pretty sure he says "You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels."
Great movie.
"Weezie! What you do with my lottery ticket!?"
"Who you callin' a psycho!?"
"My name is not 'boy', it's 'Roy'."
"Give him a wiiide birth"
"You know for a while... I felt responsible *laughs* so how ya doin' otherwise?"
"Bye Munson, Bye Whore!"
"Okay fellas, park the s*itbox and let's go"
"You suck! You don't deserve a car!"
"Top of the mornin' to ya!"
stop it! People at work are wondering why I'm cracking up at my computer!
shareI like it when Roy is being interviewed and the conversation is this:
Sportscaster: So is all that drinking behind you now?
Roy: Yeah, (thinks) why, are you buying?
Roy: WHO YOU CALLIN' PSYCHO?!
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Roy: Not one day has gone by where I didn't think about what I'd say to you if I ever saw you again!
Ernie: (chuckles) I'll bet.
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Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow... We have a bull.
Roy: (stops drinking from the bucket)...I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
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(Claudia kicks roy)
Roy: Mommy...
(Roy falls to the ground)
Roy: You must have a really wide foot because you got both of 'em.
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Claudia: He said handSOME, not handLESS.
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(While attempting to con the bowling alley bartender)
Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so *bombed*.
Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?
Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot.
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Roy: Come on we gotta get out of here.
Ish: What about Ms. Claudia?
Ish: Whats going on?
Roy: A military train derailled, and it leaking toxic chemicals creating a huge cloud of (sees Claudia) $HIT!
Ish: WOW! A huge cloud of $HIT?!
(Ish tries to warn the people walking past them)
Ish: Hey there's a $hit cloud coming everybody; RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
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Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a *beep* how crazy they are!
Oh, that psycho line. That always cracks me up! :-)
Ernie: Come back to me. Let's try to make it work. Let's try, really try. How about it?
Claudia: l'd rather mop the floors at a peep show.
Ernie: Oh, girl, you still got your great stuff.
Sedagive?!!!
...and how you got ms claudia to stop being so much of a whore...that she is.
shareRoy: "Hey Roy, can you get sick drinking piss?"
Neighbor: "I think you can..."
Roy: "Even if it's your own?"
Ishmael: God bless the lord for giving my brother, good barn raising talent.
Roy: Yeah well god gave a talent & I'll tell ya what it is. It's got three holes and put your fingers in it.
Ishamel: Hey! You leave Miss Rebecca outta of this.
Top of the mornin to ya
shareWhat does Ernie say in the car before all the guys come to drag them out of it?
share[deleted]
[deleted]
"I don't know how a barn raising is done in Ohio, but here in Pensylvannia, NO ONE RUNS FOR THE DINNER BELL IN THE MIDDLE OF LIFTING A 2000 POUND WALL"
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"Ishmael, it's time to go home"
"I can't leave now, if he makes this strike he'll win a million dollars and we can save the farm, and I still got half a beer left, there is no way we can go home now"
"Ishamel, it's time to go home NOW"
"Ok"
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Sometimes a bowler just has the face the music...and that bowler is you Roy!
shareReporter: Mr McKracken, Do you have any comment regarding your pending paternity suit?
Big Ern: Lets not even talk about that. That women is a stone-faced liar...I pulled out of her really early on that one.
Ishmael: We dont raise our fists in anger against others
Stanley: Oooohhhh...WELL WE DO!!!!
"Twistin' your arm to Munson!"
priest: you guys gotta forgive me, bowling for money, its my only vice
(waitress brings him drink and he slaps her ass)
priest : ok two vices
mccracken: thats still very good
This Bellini is starting to look like a real Kapuchnik.
"What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap?"
Big Ern in the commercial playing football. KEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNTUCKY!!!
And the look on his face when he takes the snap from the hot chick is absolutely priceless.
That "sniffing glue in the parking lot" line is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm still chuckling away to it now.
shareBig Ern: said twistin your arm to munson...i cant wait to tell people.
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Ishmael: You wanna bowl for some big money eh...but ill lose my entire bonus check cuz im so bombed.
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Big Ern: I heard a horrible rumor...creepy.
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Roy: Just because you spend most of your time in the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.
Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?
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Roy: Take that, you freaky piece of *beep* You don't mow another guy's lawn.
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Ernie McCracken: Hi... not you... hi.
there are just too many these are some of my favorites...