Lancaster Bowl Manager: Look, I've told you. We don't need nuthin'. We don't even have a novelty machine in the men's room anymore.
Roy: And you call yourselves a bowling alley?
Roy: Take that, you freaky piece of *beep* You don't mow another guy's lawn.
Ishmael: Ten frames?
Ishmael: That's for Quakers.
Roy: Hey! Listen, you stupid banana head! You don't have to bet. I'll bet for you.
"Oh, it's got a winder." -Roy Munson (At the end when Claudia fixes his watch)
shareI want to go to Reno!
shareYou really knocked something loose...
shareBig-Ern: Its a small world when you have unbelievable tits Roy
Supplimentary? Income?
Like an about to explode bratwurst
Keep-em coming sweets, I've got a long ride home
Flossin... where I keep getting Munsun from?
"most of the dresses you have you need two haircuts to wear"
*after Roy 'helps' Ish by punching him out in the bar*
Roy: "I did Ish a favour. If I hadn't knocked him out, those animals would've torn him apart. That's the thanks I get?"
Claudia: "You didn't have to have beers with them afterwards".
Reporter: "So which opponent poses the biggest threat to you in the tournament?".
Big Ern: "Me. If I get drunk and fall down, hurt myself, I might lose".
Also, after Ish tries to punch Ernie and breaks his hand, the way Big Ern runs/skips away in that weird manner is hilarious. Cracks me up every time.
"You're a funny guy Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last".
"Roy, can you get sick drinkin Piss?
"I think you can"
"even if its your own?
that same kid in front of Roy's apt sees someone walk by:
"Hey,... Hey you!.... You SUCK!
Roy: Shhh, be quiet... (trips & falls) owwww, I think I tore my sack!
Ish: ARE YOU OK MR. MUNSON?
Roy: Shhh, what did I just say?
Ish: Uh, 'I think I tore my sack.'
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Ish: Flossin? Where did I get 'Munson'?
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Ish: Barfin? Where did I get 'Munson'?
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Roy: Shhh, be quiet... (trips & falls) owwww, I think I tore my sack!
Ish: ARE YOU OK MR. MUNSON?
Roy: Shhh, what did I just say?
Ish: Uh, 'I think I tore my sack.'
Bartender: "Say there buddy, you lookin' to but the beers or the whole place?" (obnoxious laugh)
"Look, Mother Theresa... just because you spend most of your time in the missionary position..."
And it's still true that I kick ass... hiya!
ishmael says something about "child bearing hips" to mckracken. lol
roy asks 1 of his buddies"how's life?"
he replies "taking forever."
______________________________
I'm not taking my sneakers off,cause I'm Sneakers 0'Toole.
ish u ok? ur not taking a dump in the sink are u?
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a cloud of 5hit?! oh i think i smell it! lets go!
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sometimes when i wake up in the morning mr mcracken's already there
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hi whats ur name?
munson. roy, E.
no seriously
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would u be willing to hold on to this for the rest of the tournament?
what do we want with a rubber hand?
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top salesman huh? u must be a pretty smooth talker
uh....oh...ughh...yeh
Kid from Big Ern's PSA AD-"Sometimes when I wakeup in the morning Mr. McCracken is already there"
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I'm afraid I just blue myself.-Tobias Funke
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In the scene were Claudia and Roy are fighting in the hotel car park between the huge cloud of *beep* line and Ishmael running away. It always cracks me up when Claudia kicks Roy in the crotch and Roys line after this.
"Mommy. You must have a really wide foot because you got both of them"
you know. munsoned. to be up a creek without a paddle.
Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.
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"Hey everybody there's a s**t cloud coming! Run for your lives!"
This always cracks me up, and the reaction of the people walking by is hilarious too. They just ignore him like they know he is nuts...