MovieChat Forums > Falling Down (1993) Discussion > The Wife was a contributing factor in hi...

The Wife was a contributing factor in him losing it.

posted 4 years ago by [deleted]
59 replies | jump to latest

It’s the daughters birthday and she won’t let him come over to see his kid? Just because it’s not the “court appointed date.” Cold hearted shrew. That whole “no you’re not coming over here.” It was delivered with such malice.

Like I get it she doesn’t want anything to do with him, but don’t use the daughter as a weapon to hurt him even more. Don’t hide behind “legal technicalities” to deprive a man of seeing his daughter on her birthday. You can make an exception for important dates, anniversaries or functions. Her birthday isn’t always going to fall under a court appointed date that allows visitation rights.

She couldn’t even convince the cops that D-Fens was abusive. And she sent him over the edge with her dismissive and vindictive attitude. Nice going lady.

[–] TrentnQuarantino (9443) 4 years ago

Aren't they always! ;-)

[–] Enigmaticocean77 (2490) 4 years ago

Amazingly since this movie came out it has only gotten worse. Women have been able to completely manipulate the judicial system in order to destroy every facet of their X-husbands life. And I'm supposed to believe that children are better off with these vindictive b*****s. It's a sad state of affairs in modern society, but it is what it is. The media, and society have convinced gullible women that they are always right, deserve everything, and tgat nothing is ever their fault. Any mam who marries these days is a fool... oh, yeah, the mom in this movie was a real hairy butt crack.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

It’s gonna collapse spectacularly on their heads

[–] NGMI (1184) 4 years ago

They've already moved on to black guys, who not only beat them for their stupidity, leave and want no part of the children, making more single moms and criminal kids.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

Nice white male fantasy!!!

[–] Mensa1856 (135) 4 years ago

Um, the guy was an asshole.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

No he was stressed out. The assholes were all around him...that eventually pushed him over the edge.

[–] acidraindrop (3055) 4 years ago

lmaoooooooo omg. are you one of those people that go home and beat their kids because their work stresses them out?

[–] Karl Aksel (1496) 3 years ago

No he was stressed out. The assholes were all around him...that eventually pushed him over the edge.

Why were they assholes? Maybe they were just "stressed out", too?

[–] Drooch (5333) 3 years ago

‘X-husbands’

Are they, like, ex-husbands who are also mutants?

[–] Enigmaticocean77 (2490) 3 years ago

I wish that I could be an X-husband with the ability to go back in time and prevent ex-husbands from becoming husbands period.

[–] Drooch (5333) 3 years ago

It’s important to have goals.

[–] overseas7 (5066) 4 years ago

Well, D-Fens appeared at home with a gun. Even his mother was sometimes afraid of him.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

Yeah he clearly had issues, I’m just saying his wife made the situation worse with her vindictive attitude.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

Ask your mum why you're still single, ok?

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

Given your username...I’d say stop projecting lol

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

It saddens me that that was probably the highlight of your day.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

Actually the office party was lol

[–] Heisenberg (6730) 4 years ago

All true but, isn't it his fault for getting with such a shitty woman and making a kid with her?
That's what you get. Should have known better BEFORE, kinda late to cry about it.

[–] Mulletor (537) 4 years ago

I don't think a guy like D-Fens gets a lot of chances to score.

[–] Heisenberg (6730) 4 years ago

Also HIS fault.

[–] Mulletor (537) 4 years ago

He was a pioneering incel

[–] Heisenberg (6730) 4 years ago

Bah, didnt seem like such a total loser.
He had a decent job and looked fine, he was momentary down on his luck and was not even looking for a new companion, trying to fix his life after the divorce.
He could have gotten a good woman to help him with that.

[–] Drooch (5333) 3 years ago

A take-charge guy who knows how to express himself, has a decent job, and the movie-star face of Michael Douglas? Dude would slay bitches.

[–] UncleRuckis (2636) 4 years ago

He was a damned psycho, which I'm pretty sure she saw numerous giant warning signs of during their marriage. Considering his actions during the film, I'd say she made the right call in not wanting his volatile ass around as little as possible.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

Be gentle with those incelse here for they might inconvenience some of their caretakers!

[–] Mulletor (537) 3 years ago

*Caretakers = mothers

[–] huwdj (4571) 4 years ago

He was an angry disappointed man. He'd lost his family, lost his job, his mother was afraid of him, his wife was afraid of him and he obviously considered his life, and himself, a failure. You can speculate why he was that way and I think there was a hint of an authoritarian father and unhappy childhood, perhaps some guilt on the mother's side. If they had such a character today he'd be going postal with an assault rifle - but yeah - blame it on the ex-wife.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

He cracked in the beginning of the movie. In a video of him interacting with his family, he has a less severe crack and outburst. Yeah, others around may cause more stress, but he had issues that weren't being addressed. His actions are his responsibility. Some were justified while others were psychotic and devious.

[–] huwdj (4571) 3 years ago

Fair enough. But the point is - it was not the wife's fault. For this story she was just trying to do the best for her child and herself after a failed marriage and there was nothing to suggest she was in anyway responsible for this guy's eventual breakdown as the OP stated.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

To put blame on her doesn't really matter. You could say the same for a mother who didn't raise him right, a job that didn't treat him well, a city that fostered violence, a fast food restaurant that couldn't be lenient with a menu, gangs that care more about turf than community, or government waste that created more traffic. Every one of those factors stressed him out but he didn't seek help, move away, run for office, outbid construction contracts, or adapt.

He became the monster in the end... even to his own surprise. Juxtapose that with Pendergast. He was in the same position and actively changed from apathy and despair to a proactive person who cared and worked to better a bad situation.

[–] huwdj (4571) 3 years ago

I think it matters that some people see the film simply as the wife's fault and his eventual violent response as somehow heroic - and that's what I was responding to in the OP.
But it's interesting how people respond to this film and I'm pretty certain it's changed over the years. It's really a many layered film and I wonder if it's getting better with age.

[–] cyguration (3951) 3 years ago

I REALLY need to re-watch this film soon. I just haven't had the time, but I revisit this board oh-so-often to check in on the discussions.

I remember being giddy with excitement whenever the commercial for this movie aired back on broadcast television, it just seemed so... engrossing.

I've seen it about a dozen times over the years, but I've really been thinking quite heavily about it and need to see how it compares to when it came out.

[–] huwdj (4571) 3 years ago

I liked it when it first came out but my interest was focused at least equally on Robert Duvall and Rachel Ticotin at the time. It's really interesting that this film has become a bit of a lightening rod on this site.

[–] cyguration (3951) 3 years ago

Not just this site... a few other places I visit had been talking about this film as well.

I think a lot of it has to do with Michael Douglas' character being a fairly accurate representation of a guy constantly being nudged over the edge by society, almost as if on purpose. We see it happening in various facets of real life to the everyman plebeian; the unassuming proletariat; the blue collar layman.

I think, more now than ever before, a lot of people are resonating with the idea of pushing back against the system, and Falling Down is one of the few films that -- even while eccentric at times -- basically shows a seemingly realistic "push" back from Joe Schmoe; it's not some grand scheme of taking down the system like in Fight Club, or some over-the-top terrorist spree like in Uwe Boll's only good film, Rampage, or some murder-revenge plot like in Assault on Wall Street.

I think it's also that this is one of the last few Hollywood films (from what I remember, and I need to re-watch it again to be sure) that feels grounded in its cinematic portrayal. From what I remember, it didn't seem like they were always on closed sets or studio lots like in a lot of other films, where you get a sense it's taking place strictly in a Hollywood setting. I think it captured the cramped, overly crowded, stifling urban experience quite well, making it like a hyper-annoying depiction of real life, but I'll need to see it again to be sure.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

She made a vow to stick with her husband through thick and thin, it’s 100% her fault for breaking that promise and she should serve jail time.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

So all divorced and separated people should go to jail?

Okay.

[–] huwdj (4571) 3 years ago

Is it only the women who has to go to jail or are you going to lock the men up as well (or both the men or both the women or ...)?

[–] Oblivioid (1549) 3 years ago

In no way responsible you say? He lost his job to obsoletion, which she happily enjoyed the fruits of DFENS labor all the previous years. He loses his job, and Beth then decides to pull the rug from underneath a man who is in a down period, she doesn't even give him a chance to right the ship. Takes the house, takes the kid and then gets a restraining order against DFENS so he can't see his own kid. He's reduced to a miserable existence living with his mother. How would you like to move back in with your weird ass mother at 50 years old?

I should remind you, her justification for the restraining order was not from violence, but because he showed up to spend time with his daughter *at the wrong time*. She was willing to lie to the police at her house about DFENS being violent, so she certainly lied to the judge to obtain the restraining order too! She had to admit to the cops that DFENS had never been physically violent.

Beth pulled the pin on a grenade (DFENS). She should be serving time for ruining the life of a good husband and provider. What did Beth do for a living? Stay at home mom?

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

If you look at from Pendergast's perspective, it's not about what led to DFENS behavior, it's about stopping him before he goes any further. DFENS was crazy and getting more violent. His ex wife isn't responsible for that. Even if she's a terrible person.

Btw, if I had to live with my crazy mom, my first instinct would be to find some roommates and move out.

[–] Patman111196 (1892) 3 years ago

She didn't actually lie. She just said she feared the POSSIBILITY that he might become violent and wasn't willing to wait around for it, and she's right. Even if he didn't hit her, he might have broken furniture several times. It's stupid to wait for someone to hit you so you can confirm your suspicions. I'm amazed at the amount of people who blame the wife when he brought a lot of his bad luck on himself by not seeing himself for the jerk he really is.

[–] Oblivioid (1549) 3 years ago

The wife was fine with D-FENS when he had a good job and paying the bills and taking care of the family. The minute D-FENS loses his job, due to no fault of his own, she throws him out on his ass, taking everything, and leaving him with nothing. He has so much nothing, that he has to move back in with his Mother, the ultimate humiliation for a grown man.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

Exactly

[–] Patman111196 (1892) 3 years ago

I think you don't remember that she threw him out BEFORE he lost his job and she wasn't even aware of that.

[–] JosephQCat (706) 3 years ago

Yes.