When you think of the concept of one human being forgiving another human being, what does that mean to you? I think as a child I believed forgiving someone meant the same thing as saying "it's okay" to whatever that person did. As an adult, I don't think it necessarily means that. In fact, I sometimes struggle with what the word "forgive" really means.
What does it mean to you?
Thanks to everyone who responded. I think where I am on the meaning of the word forgiveness right now is that it means you've come to a place where you're not feeling any active anger at the person anymore and you're not fixated on what happened anymore, and you're ready to extend them some grace for what they did and move on with your life. It's as much something you do for your own peace as anything. I think whether or not you continue interacting with that person depends on their behavior, and in some cases you might need to reduce the amount of time you spend with them, maybe even drastically if they don't show signs of working to improve their behavior. In other cases it will be easy to go right back to hanging out. It really just depends on what they did.
A genuine mistake is easy to forgive, but if there's any hint of malice or planning then you're gone from my life completely. Second chances are a waste of time and I'd never trust that person again.
shareI guess one thing I struggle with is, if you decide not to interact with someone anymore does that mean you have not truly forgiven them? Like, can you forgive them but also decide not to spend time with them? I think that could be possible.
shareIt depends what they've done I suppose. And your own mindset.
Personally, if I don't trust someone then I wouldn't waste my time thinking about them or spending time with them. Forgiveness would be the furthest thing from my mind tbh.
I don't like people who are manipulative or have an ulterior motive - they don't deserve forgiveness as they knew exactly what they were doing.
I think because I define forgiveness as no longer being angry or fixating on what happened and being ready to move on, I think I could forgive a manipulative person, but I would be doing it for my own sake, for my peace. At the same time though, I would minimize my time with them or possibly not spend time with them at all. Unfortunately some people will not change and continuing to spend time with them could be a dangerous thing for me.
It's complicated for sure. π
And I agree with you that manipulative people should be avoided. They are destructive.
That you're not going after them for sake of revenge.
You will remember but you won't lace their coffee with rat poison.
I agree that if you've forgiven someone, revenge won't be iiinnnnnn, innthhheepplgfdf
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Sorry I'm not programmed to have a serious conversation with you.