When you think of the concept of one human being forgiving another human being, what does that mean to you? I think as a child I believed forgiving someone meant the same thing as saying "it's okay" to whatever that person did. As an adult, I don't think it necessarily means that. In fact, I sometimes struggle with what the word "forgive" really means.
What does it mean to you?
I've struggled with that, big time! I can only, say as for me, it's a willingness to try again with someone. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
shareIt can indeed be a struggle to get a grasp of what forgiveness really means. I'll share my own thoughts on it below after a few more people have responded, but I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. 🙂 I think forgiveness is a very common word that different people define in different ways.
shareLetting whatever it is that the other party did to you go.
I forgive you - IOW, fine, forget it, I'm over it, let's move on.
But we must remember, on occasion someone will do something to you you find unforgivable (it happened to me once). This particular person - one never spoke to them again.
ANyone else "yeah, forget it man, no problem" - and that's that.
ALso, should add, one likes to do the same thing - "Hey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I was wrong".
Because indeed - no one is perfect.
And thus, it really is true - you "forgive and forget".
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! My favorite thing that you said was:
ALso, should add, one likes to do the same thing - "Hey I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I was wrong".
We don't always get the luxury of hearing someone apologize, but it certainly helps when they do. And being able to admit you are wrong, I think, is a huge testament to one's character.
Well thank you 4L. Yes, one does make a point of it. Cuz sometimes you say or do something, then like two weeks later, you wish you hadn't said or done it.
It doesn't take a lot to say "Hey I'm sorry I did that". Then you feel better, the person on the other side feels better, and you move on. It's over and done with.
ANyway, I appreciate that you appreciate that I do in fact apologize when I feel I've done something wrong.
ANd on that note, I am done for the night. Have a nice evening 4L!
It's understanding that something was wrong but you choose to not let it matter and to let the person(s) off the hook for their part.
It takes practice, but it gets easy with time. You love the person more than the injury. This doesn't mean you'll let them walk all over you, but you give them a chance to live up to their potential.
If you are a man of iron and blood, it means that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw7D7SDHofQ&t=1920s
God forgives; I don’t…
But in all seriousness, I generally forgive people and don’t hold grudges, especially if their actions were unintentional. However, when someone reveals their true character -- by disrespecting, taking advantage, or manipulating, and so on -- I stay vigilant and consider whether they’re someone I should continue associating with.
You bring up an important point in that forgiveness does not always mean continuing to associate with someone. I think it depends on the situation, but if someone has the toxic traits you mentioned it might be best to at least minimize contact and set some important boundaries even once forgiveness has occurred. Otherwise you set yourself up to be hurt all over again.
shareYes, there are people that will take tolerance, forgiveness for granted, even see it as a sign of weakness and as a green light to continue their behavior.
shareI think your childhood self was on the right track, because to me it's not about saying "it's okay," it's about truly meaning it! As in fully accepting it, being at peace with it and any resulting consequences, and being ready to move on...
shareI agree that an aspect of forgiveness is finding peace and moving on. The part I struggle with is saying (or meaning) that whatever they did is okay. I think it depends on what happened. If it was something unintentional without a great impact I think it's absolutely fine to take the stance that whatever happened was okay. But if it was something purposeful with a deeper impact, for example spousal infidelity, one might be able to eventually forgive but it would never be okay what that person did. (This is not a personal example by the way, but just using it for illustrative purposes.)
Forgiveness is a complicated topic and it might even take on different appearances in different situations. I appreciate your response and agree that finding peace is part of it. 🙂