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sometimes, I see things in life, but they are not there, then I look deeper, but not deep enough


so, as with life as with Lifesavers candy, things are sweet but sour and and yet refreshing while being dark and sour while being everything and nothing it could be.
Sometimes, that cat is both alive and dead while at the same time I am fat, yet thin, thinking deeply about the nonesense of intelligence and ubiquiti of quantative personal reflection, I feel that feeling gives me the feels of feeling, yet lacking the sedimentarianism of the emptiness from taking a big dump wherein the existentialism of reality wholely fulfills the perceived emptiness of not existing.
Yet, with this, I think there must be gold in Nebraska, and perhaps a greater being controlling us all, like a giant crane machine in the night, dropping prizes down the chute of life, allowing some to become while others bego.
I stink, therefore, I am.
You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. And weather you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.

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I just wrote this exact thing in my diary last night. Were you reading over my shoulder?

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Well..... you know it's a pretty common concept....

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I've been thinking about if I should ponder about possibly reconsidering this...

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Now, after posting this, and all the growing I have done since this time, I've come to realise the juxtaposition of my existential positioning is far from what we call the norm of some, most, or none of people's realities in which they live, breath, die, laugh, love, hate, eat, breath again, throw up, or any other way of life that involves giving, and recieving, as well as having, and sharing, and the love one can give, and have, share, and recieve, can not, or should I say, will not replace the experience of experiencing, because I discoved the simple wonder of a confusing senseless run on sentance that I can give, recieve, have and share with others to read, ponder, share, consider, and obfuscate through out the day.

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"Nonesense"?
"Wholely"?
"Weather"???

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"I stink, therefore, I am"

Classic

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Also, I don't hold any grudges or mean any offense but I remember vividly how, on the thread for Lars von Trier's "Nymphomaniac Volume 1" (2013) controversial train scene, which had certain viewers assume that the female character of Joe r@ped the male passenger because she proceeded to carry on one sexual act even after he said "please don't" and although there were users who DISAGREED, I remember I once started to, but by no means whatsoever defend or speak in favour of r''' in general, but spoke at least in moments like this with an element and aura of slight relativity and even mentioned the word 'consent' a bit and what constitutes it even in these types of scenarios but one replier easily claimed that I sound LIKE A, well, sexual predator...

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