does no sex before marriage make for better/longer lasting bond? - General Discussion Discussion

[–] Padeen (6459) a year ago

Probably a bad idea. Sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship.

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[–] 123Guy (7282) a year ago

What is beyond compatible than X goes into Y?

are you talking about some one developing their own sexual hand book based on learned experiences from many other partners?

Because if it just you two, you have nothing to compare, can grow together learn together, don't know what you are missing.... until porn comes along.... again, media wrecking reality for us.

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[–] moviechatterer (15643) a year ago

' nothing to compare,'
'don't know what you are missing'

are going to be the problems , cant you see that ?

Grass is always greener etc

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[–] 123Guy (7282) a year ago

Yet looking at the studies, It shows one partner to be a happier, longer lasting arrangement.

So is comparison really the problem? Or is it because we DO compare, thanks to pressure, the real problem?

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[–] moviechatterer (15643) a year ago

not "thanks to pressure"
, we do it because its human nature to .

I'm not saying you should sleep with 100 women to "research" , but if you've only ever been with one woman - you're gonna be curious. human nature.

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[–] AmeriGirl26 (14413) a year ago

I think it depends on the couple. Usually, though, it's not a good idea, when finding a future spouse you're [supposedly] going to spend the rest of your life with, to base your entire relationship on sex. Relationships like those usually end in disaster shortly after the honeymoon phase is over.

It's an ideal pushed by Christians, most of the time, but that doesn't mean it works for everyone. Some people have no self-control, others have an unequal relationship where one remains celibate until marriage, but the other can't wait and cheats, or worse, both parties secretly cheat before the wedding night (I'm talking about humanity in general, not Christians specifically here). There have been scenarios where the couple is in love, they know the other person is their soulmate, and they are committed to living together after the wedding, but some of them can't wait and will jump into the sack early, but it doesn't damage the marriage at all.

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[–] Mrmojo4700 (21471) a year ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i76Xx9rqDfY&pp=ygUdbm8gc2V4IHVudGlsIG1hcnJpYWdlIHRlY2hubyA%3D

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[–] [deleted] a year ago

Hard to say. Even most of the religious people I know don't wait. The urge to bang is too great.

Also, modern society encourages people to wait to marry, at least until done with college. That's a long time to wait, when peoples' urges are at their peak.

Pack in the old days, people often married in their teens.

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[–] BoysDontCry (41) a year ago

Does modern society still encourage people to marry? Weird. The statistics on successful marriages, as we all know, are poor. So why is it still encouraged? Curious.

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[–] [deleted] a year ago

Tradition, maybe. Some people still want to have kids, so for them a long commitment might make sense.

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[–] BoysDontCry (41) a year ago

In your mind, does having kids still equate to long-term commitment?? Bless your heart.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

I’m of the opinion that once children are involved YOUR fun times are over. It’s about the children at that point. Unless the wife or husband is a low down dirtbag cheater, drug addicted or a physically abusive idiot it needs to be smoothed out, just keep everything quiet. Make it work.

You need to make money and keep up with the bills and avoid trouble.

Divorce messes kids up
real bad, it’s hell on the kids.
Many of us know this.

I know couples that earned plenty of money, had little baby children and proper homes and suddenly decided that they no longer loved each other and got divorced.

STFU! You made babies in a home with a partner and two good jobs. These couples split up because they were unsatisfied…Welcome to life you dumbfucks! Life is a bitch.

Ask your kids how they feel about Mom and Dad living in separate tiny dwellings once the scumbag Lawyers picked every bit of meat off the bones.

Don’t fuck about on your Spouse and kids, it’s a terrible mistake.

I’m an idiot but I never did this dumb cheating shit.

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[–] BoysDontCry (41) a year ago

I agree 100%. Your answer is golden. Unfortunately, this isn't the standard society sets. Society tells you that you are supposed to get married, have kids, and successfully support your family.
Society also tells you if it doesn't work out you can get divorced. Society tells you if you are unable to make things work that you can pay off your mistakes (aka children) with child support. No one is held responsible for raising the children they've decided to bring into this world. So now what?
Is the solution to keep getting married, having kids, and hoping for the best?

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

I stood up front in that big old White Castle on the hill and said those sacred words in front of her Dad and my Mom.

My word is bond.
And society is quite a wreck of late.

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[–] Otter (24464) a year ago

I agree... not 100%, but maybe 75%. Yes, divorce is hard on the kids, but some marriages can be even harder on the kids than divorce, so if there's real abuse, addiction, or the parents despise each other so much that the atmosphere in the house is hatred and poison, sometimes kids can actually be relieved by a divorce. I know of one guy who spent his teen years begging his mother to divorce his alcoholic asshole father, but the mother always said "No, boys NEED a father in the home, I'm doing this for YOU", much to his frustration.

Now of course, the kids are getting shafted if people divorce because the thrill is gone, or if one partner has found a hotter piece of ass they may never forgive that parent, but well. Sometimes divorce is the better solution in the long run.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

As I stated, if the marriage is stable yet somewhat boring just deal with it. Having kids means your life becomes about them and their happiness.
Not yours. Your time is over.

I had a good friend who left her husband because ‘we just feel like friends now..’
WTH is that?!?

Oh yeah, the spouse might not look like George Clooney or Sandra bullock anymore but if they go out and earn honest money everyday and you have little kids to love keep your shit together, walk the line.…these fucking dumb women are looking for Prince Charming and the foolish men are hoping to meet Barbie.

Hey, if she can cook and you can handle the yard work and the house is fairly tidy just screw a couple times a week, have the kids take out the trash and do the dishes, sheesh! Life doesn’t need to be super complicated.

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[–] Otter (24464) a year ago

"I had a good friend who left her husband because ‘we just feel like friends now..’
WTH is wrong with that?!"

I totally agree there. Once you've put kids on the ground, you lose the privilege of thinking only about your own happiness, or of always putting your own needs first. Now a parent's personal happiness isn't completely unimportant, someone who is personally miserable is unlikely to be a stellar parent, but your kids don't care if your sex life is no longer satisfying, if you want to be free to come and go then get yourself fixed.

But if you really can't stand your spouse, I recommend divorce rather than murder. For the sake of the children, you know.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

Yeah, kids are the ultimate project, one can half ass the parenting and create meth heads and armed robbers or put in the long hours and raise a teacher, a nurse or cop, etc. I’m putting in the hours, I don’t want any messes around here.

NO stain on my name, these kids will live better than me, that’s the goal.

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[–] Kowalski (75538) a year ago

I HAVE BEEN A CELIBATE PRISONER FOR OVER A DECADE IN ORDER TO RAISE MY CHILD AND KEEP HEROUT OF THE HANDS OF AN ALCOHOLIC ASSHOLE...THESE ARE EXTREME EXAMPLES OF COURSE...THE NORMIES GET DIVORCED BECAUSE THEY FIGHT ABOUT STUPID SHIT OR THEY HAVE A WANDERING EYE...OR THEY ARE JUST LAZY FUCKERS...THOSE PEOPLE SUCK.

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[–] Otter (24464) a year ago

Perhaps the celibacy wasn't 100% necessary, but you get a gold medal for doing the parenting yourself and not expecting a stepparent to take care of most of it! That's all too common, and positive relationships between children and stepparents aren't that thick on the ground.

Well done.

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[–] Kowalski (75538) a year ago

IT'S NECESSARY...AS THE SETUP IS THE "WIFE" AND I ARE STILL TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH SHE IS A DEMON FROM HELL...THUS I HAVE REMAINED...UNHAPPY AND BITTER WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS...BUT I HAVE SPENT EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY WITH MY DAUGHTER SINCE DAY ONE...TO THIS DAY...SHE IS A SOPHMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL...IF SHE ISN'T AT SCHOOL OR SLEEPING...SHE IS WITH ME...WE ARE VERY CLOSE...WE BOTH FEAR AND LOATH THE DEMON...BUT SOON WE WILL BOTH BE FREE.

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[–] Bloodshot77 (13780) a year ago

Maybe give Benny a call. He was looking for a partner. He has not ruled out gay.

Signed, million man.

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[–] Kowalski (75538) a year ago

I'D GIVE HIM A SHOT...HE HAS TO TALK NICE TO ME THOUGH...I'M SENSITIVE.

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[–] Bloodshot77 (13780) a year ago

Lol. I think DaftMunk beat you to it. Maybe a threesome is in order.

Signed, million man.

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[–] Kowalski (75538) a year ago

HOT DAMN...I'D EVEN SHAVE MY ASS FOR THAT.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

Genuinely sorry to hear this My big Amigo. Your relationship with your daughter sounds wonderful, you are a lucky dad and she’s a lucky girl.

Having kids is really something, we give them everything and don’t even care.

It’s just out of love.

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[–] Kowalski (75538) a year ago

I MET HER MOM WHEN I WAS 23...I WILL BE 44 WHEN THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER...IT HAS BEEN PURE MISERY AND ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL AT THE SAME TIME.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

No weirdness here bro but I do really care for you, I hope all is well. I’d lean in for a bro hug but I’m sure you’d slap me silly!

No joke, you are amongst our coolest, I hope it all works out Amigo, you are young and strong and the kid sounds like a world beater👍

It’ll be fine Bud.

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[–] Kowalski (75538) a year ago

SHE ASSURES ME I WILL HAVE LOTS OF LUCK WITH DATING APPS...SHE WANTS TO BE IN CHARGE OF FINDING ME SOMEONE NEW WHEN SHE TURNS 18...MY DAUGHTER THE MATCHMAKER.🫤

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77426) a year ago

Strange but true. I’ve had twenty girls, I’m locked into #20 for a real long time marriage now and I like being trapped. by her LOVE.❤️

Try dancing with your Wife to Motown or Disco and lay that thing down!

Let her know what the fuck is up
Hombre!!!

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[–] javie (2216) a year ago

No thanks, I have no desire to be turned into a toad.

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[–] Ken12602 (498) a year ago

Compared to no sex after marriage then I would say yes.

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[–] [deleted] a year ago

before and during.

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