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I am a little too shy of pretty girls and ladies. Is that normal? And what to do about it?

posted 3 years ago by TheMan18 (13188)
78 replies | jump to latest

Hi, yes its true.

Whether they are at work, on the streets or in shops etc etc etc, I am a little too shy of them. As a guy who will soon on 1st of October be 35 years old. Is that normal?

And I speak to my mother about it and had spoken to some of my colleagues about the subject.

Let's say I also worked as a driver or someone and a beautiful girl was next to me, I will be no doubt shy and not know how to be around her.

There are some and other exceptions of course even in this related field. But for the most part, I cannot help but feel this way and I don't know as well as wonder what I can do about it, hope its alright.

Cheers. Even though I have absolutely NO idea how people will respond over here. And this is also coming from a guy who wondered if we treat men and women differently in provocative ideas based on certain films and scenes I've seen and was told off for it on multiple occasions, HAHAHA, but this is a very DIFFERENT case scenario. And I have nothing against them generally even in THOERY, but I am shy.

And I like to think that I do not suffer from a beautiful female phobia, hahaha, whatever that word that I forgot its called, thank you.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7384) 3 years ago

Getting over shyness and gaining confidence is no easy feat and takes time and social experience. The only thing you can really do is expose yourself to more social experiences with them so that you can get used to it. I'd suggest maybe try to pretend that you're already friends with them and treat them as such.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

That's just about what I generally do these days.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

Its my 35th birthday today, one of my wishes is to be less shy with ladies and I hope I can achieve that.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

I also kind of wanted ONE DAY to make a thread about me, as a man etc etc etc (and let's not be too much of this or that etc), who tends to like and love women a little too much. And I also wanted to talk about how for me I see them as something special and whatnot and I have NO phobias of them whatsoever but I feel a special way about them.

Some stuff I kind of WANT to talk about, others LESS so, it goes WITH saying not all advices will be perfect and plus, as a person GENERALLY, I am also kind of shy and timid even nowadays, preferring to take a nap and a rest, watch movies etc, empathically talk about scenes etc and whereas I am not err "phobic" in ANY way in other cases, I mostly have them involving men and women, and sometimes gender reversal SCENARIOS etc. And because its film and fiction, I comfort myself also in cinematic truth that I can appreciate the film's other cinematic qualities besides SCENES, SUBJECT MATTER and/or the movies' APPROACH to them.

Unsurprisingly, on the internet, over many YEARS even, and even SOMETIMES in life, not everyone SAW it that way, but again, I didn't expect them TO. And I often these days tend to live in my own little fantasy world without either too much of life's responsibilities or responses, i.e. I talk and think sometimes like movie characters. Hope its alright. But anyways...

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7384) 3 years ago

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you tend to say a lot without really saying anything - not anything that I can fully understand, anyway. I don't really know what you're talking about in regards to being shy and liking movies, but it's fine to be that way so keep doing you, I guess.

As for seeing women as special, I think that's kind of unfair to women. It's dehumanizing them in a way and setting them up for failure when they turn out to be just like everyone else. And if you could see them as just like everyone else, you wouldn't struggle to interact with them, so you're also setting yourself up for failure.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7384) 3 years ago

Happy birthday! Hope you can achieve this wish in time.

[–] aliensalmon (5855) 3 years ago

I'm like that as well. Something about being afraid of being judged or something like that....

[–] TriumphReq (1857) 3 years ago

Life's too short for it. I was shy in HS and for a couple years after. Travel got me out of it really fast. Maybe that will be your cure.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

In ADDITION to all of this, whether in regards to women - the Beautiful Ones (remember that Suede song - "Here they come, the beautiful ones", from around 1996? Lol) or just sometimes in GENERAL, I even as a guy, albeit a shy, inexperienced one etc, often suffer from a "with or without it syndrome" and get conflicted here and there around certain feelings. Is THAT normal TOO? And is it of any surprise that this extends to shyness around ladies?

And do I also have to worry too much or at all if other people are more at ease with it, including in situations where it is right and necessary?

Cheers.