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I am a little too shy of pretty girls and ladies. Is that normal? And what to do about it?

posted 3 years ago by TheMan18 (13188)
78 replies | jump to latest

Hi, yes its true.

Whether they are at work, on the streets or in shops etc etc etc, I am a little too shy of them. As a guy who will soon on 1st of October be 35 years old. Is that normal?

And I speak to my mother about it and had spoken to some of my colleagues about the subject.

Let's say I also worked as a driver or someone and a beautiful girl was next to me, I will be no doubt shy and not know how to be around her.

There are some and other exceptions of course even in this related field. But for the most part, I cannot help but feel this way and I don't know as well as wonder what I can do about it, hope its alright.

Cheers. Even though I have absolutely NO idea how people will respond over here. And this is also coming from a guy who wondered if we treat men and women differently in provocative ideas based on certain films and scenes I've seen and was told off for it on multiple occasions, HAHAHA, but this is a very DIFFERENT case scenario. And I have nothing against them generally even in THOERY, but I am shy.

And I like to think that I do not suffer from a beautiful female phobia, hahaha, whatever that word that I forgot its called, thank you.

[–] samoanjoes (58610) 3 years ago

It's normal. Try online dating where you'll find someone who is just as shy as you are.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

Hahahahahahahahaha, lol. :) :) :)

[–] WhimsicalSloth (85) 3 years ago

I think it’s a pretty common phenomenon so don’t worry.

If it helps, I’m a 29 year old woman and can be a little nervous around guys who I consider to be attractive. It’s dependent upon their outward confidence though as well- I find it to be a little intimidating and will hold back a bit in conversation. Rightfully or wrongfully it’s a feeling of being out of someone’s league but ultimately we’re all human and looks don’t last.

[–] blue1981 (8196) 3 years ago

I kind of doubt that.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

yes it's normal.

one of the reasons i think life becomes easier as you age is that, once you ease into middle age, you're no longer racked by perpetual horniness. all those hormones raging through you kinda settle down a bit. or at least they did for me.

it becomes much easier to make your peace with life and the world when you're no longer tormented by unrequited lust.

that's been my experience anyway.

i really wish it coulda been like this all along.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

Its not even that I think I may be in a romantic relationship or anything nor do I have any specific "fears" here just feelings and presence of shyness really.

Also, did or do most of you feel that way?

Also - do we consider men and women attractiveness wise differently and do say women perceive attractive men in a different way to how men perceive attractive women?

[–] kungfulord (957) 3 years ago

Is not normal, woman are just humans those pretty girls easily can be morons, stupid, superficial, vapid, empty, and the kind of people you would wanted to be away nothing to be nervous about and maybe they are inteligent and great people, my point is you dont know you are only focussing in looks and most of the time people do that is because of loneliness maybe you are hiper sexualized because you lack of sexual experience

Your body and mind is demanding what is lacking in your life and is vital for any person that is conection with someone you feel atractive

Some of the advices here i understand are well intentioned but are also really sad just expect to get old and a part of you die is terrible that impulse that desire can be something beautiful if is satisfied but not everybody can have that

[–] joi2049 (5632) 3 years ago

Some of the advices here i understand are well intentioned but are also really sad just expect to get old and a part of you die is terrible that impulse that desire can be something beautiful if is satisfied but not everybody can have that

What you don't seem to comprehend is the BEAUTY of how PLEASANT it can be to "NOT be ENSLAVED or CONTROLLED by your HORMONES anymore" by the time you reach a certain AGE or STAGE of life.

Because those HORMONES that are in our system can also be like a DRUG that we become ADDICTED to, which can also lead to us getting into all kinds of situations that we wouldn't otherwise find ourselves in (if we'd been in a more RATIONAL frame of mind).

So when the EFFECT of those HORMONES (also known as PHEROMONES that we give off) wear off, it's also a bit like having been through REHAB and starting a WHOLE new LIFE again where one is no longer OBSESSED with the CHEMICALS that previously RULED your life.

And that can also be just as BEAUTIFUL a thing as well. But until you've actually also "BEEN THERE and DONE THIS before," unfortunately there's also NO WAY that one can explain it to you so that it's going to MAKE very much SENSE to you.

Because you're probably also still UNDER the SPELL of those CHEMICALS that are there inside of your body.

And when you get SOBER, we'll probably also not still be here anymore to discuss the matter with you, and you'll have to try to explain it to another younger generation who will probably also ask the same kind of a question as THE MAN has done here on this topic.

😉

[–] joi2049 (5632) 3 years ago

Yes this is the same advice that I would offer, to just wait until you're OLDER and the HORMONES that RAGE in your system now wear off.

Then your BRAIN is FREE to think about other things, and you'll wonder WHY on EARTH you were ever so obsessed with such SILLY matters.

[–] StoneKeeper (28401) 3 years ago

Cant wait to be like that… I’m such an horny dog it’s exhausting.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 3 years ago

It gets worse.

[–] StoneKeeper (28401) 3 years ago

That's not what Damo and joi said but I doubt I could get worse.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 3 years ago

Get back to me in 10 years time, lol.

[–] AnubisRaydeen (7897) 3 years ago

Pick a movie star you admire and try to act like them. Preferably one who uses direct, concise language if they talk at all.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

They all talk alright. (Lol!)

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

But only do this when you absolutely, positively, will only be spending a short time with a person.

Assuming a false persona can be a tool to build self-confidence or social skills, but over more than a short term it's no fun, and dishonest to the person you're with.

[–] AnubisRaydeen (7897) 3 years ago

Indeed. Only use at a party or some similar scenario. Don't start acting like Ryan Gosling in Drive* around some lady whom you work with.

I only ever assumed a short term solution in this case.

*a good choice for him.

[–] joi2049 (5632) 3 years ago

RYAN GOSLING RULES!!!

(Because He's also the person that JOI's in LOVE with in BLADE RUNNER 2049).

😉

[–] StoneKeeper (28401) 3 years ago

To be shy is normal. Someday you’ll realise they are just humans with emotions like you. Some are hard to approach but most are just waiting for you to do so.

I tell you, trust me.

[–] lud (5933) 3 years ago

It's normal. But don't be shy with girls/women.

They want you to be shy so in their mind the feel you are intimidated by them.

Be cool,normal.

Keep in mind,they are human beings they all have emotions,relationships,responsibility etc.

[–] TheMan18 (13188) 3 years ago

I am shy here entirely on my own so called "free will", I never feel like any of them "intend" or "want to make" me feel shy, and it happens even with such strangers in the streets too, lol.