So, apparently about a third of young men aren't having sex. - General Discussion Discussion

[–] actionkamen (23176) 6 years ago

In that case, don't worry... you'll get your chance ten to twenty years from now.

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[–] Ghaleon (606) 6 years ago

Thanks for the laugh. Despite what I typed, I'm not desperate or anything, and I don't hold women in contempt. I've only tried asking out five women in the last decade. When I was in my late teens I was usually approached first. I don't lack confidence, so much as have no idea how to be flirtatious.

Supposedly, guys who get laid a lot ask out multiple women per day, and get rejected 90% of the time. I don't think I could handle being rejected so many times. I don't lash out when rejected, but it effects my self esteem.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

"Supposedly, guys who get laid a lot ask out multiple women per day, and get rejected 90% of the time."

Yes, being a player is indeed mostly a numbers/statistics game. It's like those amazing trick shot Youtube videos: What you don't see is the 3 hours of failed attempts (though a few uploaders will actually include clips of good/funny failures, like a lead-up gag reel for the trick shot video).

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Men with that level of confidence and such thickness of skin, are likely psychopaths. Clearly they're 'above' emotions and feelings of hurt, which makes me wonder if they're the best potential partners seeing as they're the type of cold bastards who are likely to not give a shit when they're girlfriend is upset over something.

If you're incapable of feeling emotion, how can you recognise it in others, and thus display empathy?

No wonder so many relationships end in abuse and divorce.

Besides, women aren't 'trick shots'. They're people. You don't treat peopke like a numbers game. You value each and every person as an individual.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

No that's right up the spectrum of sociopathy, realistically. Psychopathy is much more in terms of pursuing bigger ambitions that either go against the grain of society (this is the version colored by violent tendencies, like a serial killer), or have the potential to change that grain of society for their own benefit (this is the version colored by control issues and monetary/social ambitions that cause psychopaths on this course to aim toward higher politics and power positions like CEOs).

Sociopathy has a spectrum of willing disregard for "stepping on" or using others on the way to the sociopath's goals, while psychopathy is just a flat-out disregard, a default desire to manipulate and use others and to accomplish at the expense of those others.

Sociopathy is more a disorder of our natural ambition and empathy drives, while psychopathy is a specific neurological/neurochemical/neuro-structural defect OF those natural drives which disables empathy completely, and causes ambition to be the only concern.

The defect in psychopathy also reflect inward on the psychopath's self-image, causing a disregard for personal risk as well, which not only is seen in killers (not concerned about being caught) but also in normal psychos, who display risky tendencies and get a thrill out of putting their life/safety in greater dangers than normal people are willing to.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

My understanding was that most sociopaths are basically screw-ups who are able to feel empathy but just can't help acting in self-obsessed and destructive manner, whilst psychopaths were people who could outwardly mimic the actions of a 'regular' human-being, but deep down felt nothing.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Yeah thats pretty much a description too, a practical onei. I was going for approximating the technical psychological descriptions.

A sociopath is more normal, its not what can be called a condition, iirc. They just vary from the average in ways that get compounded by the psychopathy condition

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

FYI, I accidentally hit post before I was finished, so I wanted to let you know that I just finished editing it.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Earlier today I read that the man who threw a 5-year-old boy over the 3rd-floor railing at Mall of America was angry because women were not receptive to his "advances." He went there planning to kill someone, supposedly an adult, but chose the little boy instead. Definitely a sickness there.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Loneliness leads to all sorts of illnesses.

The risk of death is 32% higher across a single lifetime for single men than they are for married men.

No wonder people are pissed! They're being condemned to an early grave FFS!

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Is the incel violent response a new thing mentally, you think, or more likely a trend since the Isla Vista incident?

Im thinking the usual tendencies diagnosis, but the focus on sexual success may be backdraft from a more sexually liberated culture, where its more normalized, people more likely to share that info the way they would any other, so some people may find themselves surrounded by a frankness that they react to on an instinctive level, ot may anger them beyond their ability to control.

Plus their archaic "sexual conquerer" ideals have been getting gradually less effective and gradually more transparent since about the post-middle-ages!

That tactic is less Horny Napoleon today, as it's become more Rapey Hitler.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

I'm not a deep thinker and I may be wrong or over-simplifying this, but I often think it's another form of entitlement, tied to a more sexually-liberated culture. Since we talk about our sex lives/activities so much more than we did 50 years ago, sex is more "out there" than it used to be. With the advent of the internet and all its capabilities, more people measure themselves against the "norm" and if they fall short of that, they decide they're due (entitled to) more of it. If "everyone" is having more sex than I am, then it's my turn to get more; hence, I'm "owed" and women should acquiesce to my desires. If they don't, then - in their twisted minds - women deserve whatever they get. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77378) 6 years ago

'Women deserving what they get' sounds like physical or sexual abuse to me (I have a sister, a mom and a wife and I'm prepared to hamstring a fellow with a rusty razor for such behavior...he can call the Cops!)
Unacceptable no matter how it's phrased but I get you

This oddball 'incel' movement seems like a bunch of guys that just don't have any moves
It's a really odd horse to hitch your wagon to for a young healthy male

Get a job, a car, a place and be nice to the girl, take her places, say sweet things

Simple as pasta really, younger people seem
silly to me

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

I could have worded it better. I meant it in terms of women deserve whatever he decides to do to them even though a particular woman, an innocent bystander, is not the one who rejected him - just any woman, and not necessarily sexually, but also along the lines of injuring or killing them.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77378) 6 years ago

Oh, I understood you Glen, no worries👍
It's just such a crazy topic
I know a ton of guys and I swear, not one of them behaves in such a disgusting, violent fashion towards any woman he might be involved with
You might not like me so much if you knew the things that have happened to boys that got a bit rough with my female cousins and lady pals
Violence within a romantic relationship
is not tolerated here, people get cast out for that and nobody talks to the guy again...sometimes the guy winds up drooling his own blood...it has happened around here

It is a good thing for a young girl to have a daddy, a big brother or several crazy cousins👍

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Thanks for getting what I was trying to say, Shogie. It's appalling that today we still must rely on good men to protect their "womenfolk." I have a lot of respect for those men who step forward and tell some loser to stop harassing a woman. Those who stay silent when they witness such a situation aren't much better than the harasser himself. Those men who call out these lowlifes are heroes to me.

Oops, I may have strayed from the original intent of this thread.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77378) 6 years ago

Yes...young dudes not getting lucky:/
Pretty kooky thread if you think about it
I'm out 😬
Adieu

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Nighty-night!

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Spot on GlenEllyn.

Not all women have 'protectors', and even if they did, no woman should have to rely on a man to feel safe. They should be able to trust that all men, from close relatives to complete strangers, will treat them with respect and dignity.

Of course, just like ShogunofYonkers, I'd lose my shit if a woman/girl close to me were subject to physical and sexual abuse, but that honestly isn't the right answer. Women and girls shouldn't be in that situation to begin with, and the only way to truly challenge that is not to go ballistic on rapists, would-be rapists, sex pests, and domestic abusers after the assault has occurred, but to educate the men in our lives of how to behave, and to call out the type of mentality that potentially leads to that abuse.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

If men want to be a hero it's pretty simple, isn't it?

And whatever happened to practicing some self-control?? Sorry you're not "getting any" fella, but lose the entitlement vibe and show some respect for others.

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[–] NiggardlyChigger (99) 6 years ago

"What's that you say? You got fired from your job? Have fun being homeless loser! Come back when you get some money."

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Eh?

I think you're responding to the wrong person.

Where have I displayed a lack of self-control, or a sense of entitlement?

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Sorry, I didn't mean you personally; just some men.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Okay.

It just seemed you were angry with me, especially after you refuted what I said about playing the hero.

For what it's worth, I do share Shogun's mindset. Like I said, if I knew that a guy had abused a female friend, colleague of relative, I'd want to tear his head off. Heck, I feel that way in respect of women I don't even know who have been subjected to such abuse.

But objectively speaking, what good does it really do? It doesn't turn the clock back and prevent the abuse. And most of the time I suspect it's more about making the man (although in some instances it could be a female friend or relative seeking revenge) feel better rather than doing anything constructive for the survivor/victim.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

No, it doesn't turn the clock back, but it is somewhat comforting to know that there are men who will stand up to the lowlifes who do these things, to know that it's not the victim's fault that it occurred. I say this as a victim of sexual assault.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

I think violence is perfectly right in order to stop sexual assault occurring, but revenge leaves us all blind, as the expression goes.

And speaking as someone who has also been sexually assaulted, albeit a long way back, I personally care less about avenging my assailant and more about what society can do to support me.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

And speaking as someone who has also been sexually assaulted, albeit a long way back, I personally care less about avenging my assailant and more about what society can do to support me.

I agree. Nothing can sufficiently avenge what happened. Support after the fact is more important.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Precisely, and the sad fact is that society spends far too much time figuring out what we're going to do to the offenders than helping to support victims/the wronged, and that doesn't exclusively apply to rape/sexual assault.

That's not to say we should let these scumbags off scot-free, especially not where they pose a very active and ongoing threat to society, as I suspect most people who have already committed at least one sexual offence do, but, aside from the important safety and potential deterrent aspects of punishment, the most important thing truly has to be what we do to help restore the victim's life as much as possible.

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[–] NiggardlyChigger (99) 6 years ago

GlenEllyn has zero empathy. She thinks it's okay for men to go without sex. As a woman she's never gone without sex.

ShogunofYonkers can fantasize about physically assaulting people all he wants but he's going to jail long before he takes out an entire third of the population. Who's going to protect GlenEllyn from beta males then? The government?

In many ways the government is creating this problem by taking over the role of husband. Women can get alimony and child support, and we all have to pitch in for their health care and day care and everything else. Who needs a man anymore? This is a corruption of society and women are losing their place too. They let themselves go and still expect high sexual capital. A third of women are over 40 and bitter childless cat ladies. Nobody actually believes their fat acceptance movement.

Why do we have such contempt for sexless men in this unfortunate situation? Read through this thread again, but this time, imagine that instead of someone who can't get sex, we're talking about someone who can't get a job and support themselves financially. It's beyond heartless. It will shock you how vindictive it sounds.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Yeah, we get it - you're a troll. Had you pegged from day one.

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[–] NiggardlyChigger (99) 6 years ago

No you didn't.

You knew what I am, but it's not that. You wanted attention you got it.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

No-one is entitled to sex.

Even if they somehow were, how would you ensure they get it? It's impossible.

The only way you resolve the issue is by destigmatizing chastity and by challenging the sexualisation of society.

Where I do agree with you is with respect to violence. Just as sexual violence is wrong, so is any other type. We shouldn't champion any form of macho bullshit, including performative violence towards other men.

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[–] NiggardlyChigger (99) 6 years ago

Talk about entitlement. How dare a "loser" try to talk to you without permission.

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[–] NiggardlyChigger (99) 6 years ago

You're lying. The whole point of your story is that you know it's a turn-on for women to have men fight over them.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77378) 6 years ago

You have an odd fantasy life lol
I hope your lotion supply and wrist hold out👍

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[–] NiggardlyChigger (99) 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Shogun is a good guy, but bragging about beating up sex fiends isn't cool.

It's another display of the same testosterone-fuelled violence that leads to rape. Just because the victims in this case 'deserve it' doesn't make it an any more edifying spectacle of manhood.

That said, if I saw a woman getting abused I can't say I wouldn't go ballistic on the man or men concerned. I would. But that's not heroic. It's just plain dumb macho bullshit human nature, akin to the same dumb macho bullshit that led Liam Neeson to say he wanted to beat-up a black man forty years ago, following the rape of a family member.

As a feminist, I can't say I champion such violent retributive behaviour, as natural as it might be to me as a man. And ultimately, what women need in that situation is emotional support; not some dipshit but making it all about his feelings.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Yeah I can see that, and actually your description is better at pointing out the actual methodology they practice.

I guess I would have to qualify that the sexual conquerer ideals for them are more like a concept they believe in, but they don't know how to go about it, may not even know that they don't know how, and so even after minimal attempts they just snowflake out, give up, and go with the "bitches" excuse, which leads them toward rationalizing violence.

Plus since they seem to obsess about the sexual success so strongly that their lack of success creates a lessened desire to even survive. They're desponded wannabe lovers ready to commit suicide over romantic failure, but it gets hitched to that violent tendency and the decision becomes to give up on life while "taking others with them."

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

why not just hire a tutor, until you get some skills?

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

That sounds creepy. Like the kind of guys who go to pick-up artist seminars to learn how to manipulate women.

If you can't attract people by being yourself, either you're f***ed or the world is. Either way, no woman or man should have to lie or acquire skills to find a partner. It's fundamentally dishonest and unfair on both parties.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

These dipthongs dont seem willing to ask for help, and even resent it at times; They're being doubted but they see themselves as competent, or at least having potential for that... like with sex, if they could just practice without that inconvenient threat of rejection (another example of being doubted, as a potential lover this time, and again the response is blaming the rejectress).

That Isla Vista shooters manifesto was pretty insightful about that, he wanted the world to learn the details of his struggle from his POV, whether the struggle is merely perceived or not. Of course, perception creates reality, so...

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

i remember when that happened. I learned the word incel.
if i remember correctly, in his manifesto he called for the complete subjugation of women. by law they have to put out.

it just seems such an easy fix to me.
so sad.
sometimes we need to lower our expectations,
like that scene in A Beautiful Mind, when Nash has the
epiphany about every guy going for the most beautiful girl,
99% percent will strike out, but if you go for the #2 or #3 girl
the odds are much better for success.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

John Nash was an anti-Semitic dipshit.

Who is to say Girl #2 or #3 will be interested in their lame asses? Are they meant to feel flattered after a guy has chosen not to ask out their 'hotter' friend because of fear of rejection and instead take the 'less risky' option of asking them out?

No, this anti-romance bullshit is precisely what leads to sexual entitlement.

We need to bring back the idea of romance and soulmates and connecting with people, instead of treating love, or more accurately, and sadly, sex, like a frickin algorithm that says if you put Man A together with Woman B you'll end up with C. Well, what if Woman B doesn't like Man A? What does the frickin' algorithm say about that? Will he get angry and feel entitled to her because he's been told to expect something back from her?

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Reminds me of the old scenario that if a guy buys a gal dinner he can expect sex afterwards. It's that entitlement thing again, isn't it?

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

I don't know the saying, but you're right. It is entitlement, and it's precisely what I've been condemning in all my posts.

When you attacked me earlier I think you were confusing my belief in supporting the lonely, male and female, and facilitating, at least initially, platonic relationships between them, with an entitlement to sex.

But clearly there are a lot of people with issues out there, whether they're paedophiles, incels, Islamic terrorists, white Christian terrorists, gang members, and so on, and in order to prevent these people doing harm, we need to understand what makes them tick, and thus treat them before they hurt someone.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Sorry, my intention was not to attack you. I was just responding and I hope you can see that. Tone doesn't necessarily come through on posts.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Thats okay. You've since made it clear.

I thought you might be, perhaps understandably, offended by my initial response to your opening post, where I talked about loneliness rather thsn unequivocally condemning the violent incident you recounted straight from the off.

But I do feel strongly that of we're going to address these issues, including sexual entitlement and the violence it can wreak, one important line of focus is combating loneliness.

Too many people think sex is what they want when I suspect a lot of it really comes down to self-esteem. Well, if you combat loneliness, and it doesn't have to be about sexual relationships, but clearly a more socially engaged person has more chance of eventually finding a girlfriend or boyfriend than a lonely shut-in, than you go a long way to restoring a person's self-esteem.

Self-esteem should NOT be linked to sex, and we really need to break that toxic association, but it is often, albeit not always, connected to social interactions and engagement.

And although no-one is entitled to sex or indeed marriage, we do need to find other ways of compensating for the benefits a terminally single person misses out on that married couples derive. It's our duty as a society.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

I got quite close to it at my current firm, we were handling a lawsuit representing quite a few students who sued about the shooting, including his roommate that was killed (parents suing on his behalf).

It settled for a good figure. They sued over the fact that it was housing assigned by the school, which creates liability, and the school housing people didn't take the regular complaints from roommates and others (including police intervention at least once) serious enough.

Just like the Vegas shooting lawsuits right now, though, the question becomes: How many red flags, that seem more obvious in hindsight, are enough to reach the point of "You legally should have taken this more seriously."

The manifesto was of course a major exhibit, and referenced many times in the case, so I did read most of it.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

You people need to do something about fucking guns (and no, I will NOT apologise for my language where guns are concerned - a six-year-old girl was just killed by her four-year-old brother thanks to a gun being left within his reach), before you kick people out of halls of residence for expressing, admittedly offensive, speech.

Guns are the problem. Not ideas.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Out of control pharmaceuticals are worse. A lot of Democrats are funded by Pharma, and I'm SURE their donors encourage them to go after the NRA and guns in order to keep the scent off the lucrative psychoactive drug trade.

Besides which, I don't know of anybody who truly enjoys fucking guns. Seems like it would be uncomfortable ;)

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

I abhor that belief of "taking others with them." Maddening. And the "bitches" is a lame excuse, but they don't recognize that.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Yeah and THAT is a trend influenced by media; Even when negatively covered, mass killers are still given celebrity, or perhaps we'd say infamy. Making it posthumous simply guarantees that being their final mark on the world.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

The notoriety that social media provides is my biggest complaint about it. That, and how so many people live for the "fame" it implies.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

It gives a dark twist to these classic lyrics...

Remember my name

Fame
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly high
I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry

Fame
I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
Fame
I'm gonna live forever
Baby, remember my name

Imagine just one change: "I'm not gonna make it to heaven"

Makes it quite ominous.

Maybe the second "I'm gonna live forever" could be a threatening "Memories live forever"

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

👍 I watched the Fame TV series back when. A lot of folks, for whatever reason, crave fame - such a momentary thing. Once you're gone it really makes no difference, does it? You're never gonna know about it, so what's the point??

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Fame is definitely like a glamorized drug of sorts; I'm sure most of those who do taste fame and like it, they spend the rest of their life chasing that dragon.

Some washed-up comedian in the alley behind Jay Leno's studio, begging Jay to let him on the show again like the old days. "Come on man, I need a fix. I need one bad. Just fifteen minutes for a few jokes. Ten minutes? You know what it's like Jay, do me a solid... I NEED IT DAMN YOU JAY!!!"

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

Yep, it's addictive. Sad, really.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

I've had my brushes, perhaps we could call that catching the aroma of fame. Closest for me was a production company a few years back interested enough in one of my screenplays to assign the person wanting to direct it, give it a proposed $20 to $25 million budget, and as far as I know it was then set up as a candidate project for potentially seeking investor approval on the budget (it was Idris Elba's production company when he first started it, I'm sure they were readying a whole slew of projects knowing that only a percentage would make it to an actual green light, plus they focused on TV more than film).

I'll be chasing that dragon until my days end. Like one of those cartoon character lifted up by ghostly hands from a nice aroma, and they close their eyes, involuntarily floating along with the smell to its source.

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

That sounds really cool! But is it about the fame or the fact that a story you wanted to tell would be out there? I think there's satisfaction in knowing that you'll be heard.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

I am an artist at heart and pursue it in a hundred directions at once, the idea of being a published screenwriter is equal parts being wealthy enough to be a professional creator and nothing more, wanting to tell stories I want to see, and the desire to impart my own views and to explore/discuss concepts about life/reality/humanity/"the mind"/etc that I find interesting or integral or what not.

Yeah the fame would be fun too, but I'd try to keep it controlled, not wanting to be any kind of big celebrity. I'd rather be known by name and only true fans would recognize me on the streets because they've bothered to look up what I look like.

Then you know, little things like cute 19 year old female fans lifting their shirts and asking me to autograph their...... undershirts......

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[–] GlenEllyn (21526) 6 years ago

😆 You go right ahead and autograph their...um, undershirts. But seriously, I think I understand. It's not the fame you seek, but if it comes, fine. It's more about getting your story out there, and that is very rewarding, I should think.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

It is. Plus, I write them primarily for myself. I want to finish them so I can read them, and even without going pro, people still LOVE to read them. The script I mentioned that was poised to sell, it was my third that I finished, and it's very focused.

It's a tight read, and very meaningful to me, and it's actually the oldest story I have that I wanted to actually execute.

Anyway, it... causes reactions in people. My favorite was Michelle, who told me she had started reading it just to give it a chance, and literally didn't want to stop. She had to break, since she was at work, but as soon as she could, she just got back to finishing it asap.

In giving me her response to reading it, she immediately started a conversation about like the nature of human connections, bonds like family and friendship and communities and society, it was like the perfect response. That took over so fully that she didn't really get all that specific about the script itself because she'd already said she loved it and had nothing more she needed to add other than the thoughts about life and the world that the script provoked.

One of my other scripts made her cry really sincerely, like she told me about how it happened when she read it, and as she's telling me, the memory causes her to cry again right there.

I do aim for full characters and tangible emotions/connections in my stories, and I try to always "feel" the experience of the story for each character, so reactions like this are what it's all about.

I do have parts in my scripts that make me cry upon rereading, too. I take that as a good sign in terms of authenticity.

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[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

I don't normally use "like" that much, but I honestly hear it legitimately spoken as it's supposed to be in these sentences, not the exaggerated valley girl "I was like, what?" bullshit that spoiled the usage of the word "like" in that capacity.

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[–] db20db (17235) 6 years ago

GE, I think the careful, precise articulation of your posts is indicative of exactly what a deep thinker you actually are.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Sex isn't that important (other than from a procreational perspective).

If you're really that desperate for sex, go have a cold shower.

We get very bogged down in sex, and sexual entitlement, and the whole godforsaken incel movement, when we should be talking about companionship and the impact social loneliness has on people, as well as the higher mortality rate for single individuals in comparison to married ones, and the impact childlessness can have on mental illness.

There are so many men and women, gay and straight, and everything in-between, who are single, and who want to be with someone, and yet we still put up these fronts and silly walls, and play stupid silly games or create unreasonable expectations.

Of course, no-one should feel obliged to be with anyone they don't find attractive, but I see it all the frickin time: two people who are genuinely attractive, and most likely attracted to one another, but they feel they have to play these stupid parlour games instead of just coming out and saying "I like you. I think you like me. Let's just get together and forget all this coy bullshit!"

It's that tiresome nonsense that leads to fatigue, terminal loneliness, and ultimate a sad early death from depression/suicide.

Why do we let it happen?!? Can't we just be honest with one another? Is it really that harmful to one's ego to simply say "I like you" and "I like you too"?

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[–] BillHicksFan (10560) 6 years ago

Free porn.

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[–] Ghaleon (606) 6 years ago

Yeah, I used to watch porn every day. I'm down to two or three times a week now.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Porn is not good. It creates unrealistic and unhealthy expectations about sex.

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[–] Ghaleon (606) 6 years ago

I didn't start watching it until after I'd already had sex. So, in my case, it doesn't live up to the real thing. Sure, the performer's bodies may be more attractive than most people in real life, but that doesn't matter.
Although, I do feel a bit inadequate compared to the occasional very well endowed guy. I'm a bit above average at 20cm, but some performers seem to be packing 25cms or more.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Whoah! Too much information. ;)

Still, I'm not sure porn is healthy for anyone, adult or child, whether they've had or haven't yet had sex.

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[–] PeteRose (2893) 6 years ago

I'm 31 and I've had regular sex since I was 18, but I'm gay so there's that. I will say I just got out of a relationship and my game is way off and I'm having a hard time hooking up.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

You're gay, and so you don't have to worry about offending women by approaching them.

Speaking as a bisexual man, I find it easier to approach men, assuming I know they're gay, than I do women. In fact, men approach me. Some women approach me too, but they tend to do it in a less confident and assertive manner (which suggests to me that were the male-female social dynamic different, I'd be approached by many more women). Unfortunately, it's still considered 'odd' for women to approach men.

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[–] Ghaleon (606) 6 years ago

I didn't mention in my original post, but I swing both ways. I'm generally more physically attracted to the opposite sex, though.
As far as guys go, I usually like twinks. I find a lot of more traditionally masculine men to be great looking, but in my few gay experiences, I was always a top and I'm apprehensive to try another way. Not to assume that someone's appearance dictates their sexual preferences, of course.

I tried Tinder a few years ago, but nobody lived nearby. So, nothing materialised. Of the people that I swiped right on, every single guy out of the 40 or so also matched with me. I must have swiped over 30 different women, and only matched with 3 of them.

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[–] AmeriGirl26 (14381) 6 years ago

They must be dead.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

I don't think it's that gay men are less discerning. I think its because it's because men find it easier to approach other men than they do women, and by and large, it's still not seen as 'socially acceptable' for women to approach men. Plus, younger men, like you, are getting mixed signals about whether women want to be approached. On one hand you're told that confidence and self-assuredness is attractive. On the other hand, you're being lectured about toxic masculinity.

Also bear in mind that according to recent research 25% of Millennial men believe that asking a woman for a date constitutes sexual harassment. So, I'm guessing that 25% of Millennials will die virgins. But, hey, progress, right?

As a side point, I've had attractive women unexpectedly approach me to tell me I'm 'beautiful' and 'good-looking', but when I've subsequently asked them out, assuming, I think quote logically, that they're interested in me, they've given me the run around. So who knows what the hell to think?

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

might be the vegan thing.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

What do you mean?

By the way, when I approach a woman for the first time I don't introduce myself and then immediately announce that I'm a vegan.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

how about the political talk ?

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Haha.

But the women I approach are generally progressive.

Anyway, I find that it's most often women who virtue signal about their veganism and progressive politics. Not men. And yet, they don't date vegans/vegetarians and progressives.

My, controversial, but compelling theory, is that women like a so-called 'bad boy'. They like a fixer-upper. They like a guy who will make them feel better about themselves and their own virtue.

A handsome, intelligent, moralistic, virtuous, progressive vegan guy like me couldn't help but make them feel less secure about their own worth.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

gay men will always get the short end of the stick and rightfully so.

I'm a narcissistic, conceited prick, and yet you still manage to make me look good.

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[–] ShogunofYonkers (77378) 6 years ago

HAHAHAHA😂
Well handled Malko!!

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Then so will humanity.

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[–] AlfredTheGreat (471) 6 years ago

Sounds about right. Guys are the biggest bull-chitters when it comes to having sex. There are a very substantial number of guys who do not have sex on a regular basis despite any claims to the contrary. Women gravitate to older men because those men are financially secure and/or are more mature. I've had plenty of women hit on me as I have aged and I don't dress as though I have great wealth. I think that financial security is of increasing importance to young women to the point where it more important than having an age compatible partner.

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

You're 100% right about most guys being bullshitters, but we need to preach this message louder because as it stands too many young people, in particular, are fooling themselves into thinking everyone else but them is at it day and night, and that they are thus entitled to some regular action.

Celebrities and those parts of the media that constantly promote sex and the idea that a 24/7 sex-life is 'normal' are 100% complicit in the whole incel movement and rape culture in general. Their actions are frankly shameful and are leading people to commit violence, either to themselves or others, in huge numbers.

Then again, what should one expect from a thoroughly amoral industry that enabled the likes of Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby, and still, to this day, pretends there isn't a serious problem at its very core.

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[–] slimone (7996) 6 years ago

OP, I find that hard to believe. Maybe it's true about you, but the statistics just don't seem believable.

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