About Thor being late, he's fighting the enemy and looking for Thanos. But since he came later to the battle, I guess he was not connected to the Team Ration. I remember Captain America calling for backup, I think he says something like "everyone in my position we have incoming" or something similar. Which is why most of the heroes are there at that moment, but Thor did not have any way to know that, but after a while when he either notices that everyone is the same location or he sees Thanos.
On the other hand, I don't think Quill reaction is lazy writing, I think is a reasonable reaction to someone like Quill, passionate, impulsive and not the smartest in the room. You would react that way if you were him, even Iron Man knows that which is why he tries to avoid it, but clearly fails to do so. Another theory that I am quite confident in it is that this was Dr Strange plan all along, the only outcome he says the Avengers winning was by losing first, and by keeping Iron Man alive.
We'll have to wait a year to see!
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