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How Splice Nearly Got Me Banned From My Local Theater

posted 15 years ago by flish553
286 replies | jump to latest

I don't want to ruin this movie for anyone, so if you haven't seen it, please don't read any further.

Alright, let's start with the previews. When previews for Splice hit the airwaves, it was promoted as a sci-fi/horror film about scientists who create a new life form, which the clever writers called "science's newest miracle (is) a mistake." After seeing a handful of trailers, I must admit I was intrigued. Maybe this was going to be like Species with more of a plot or character development to it. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
The actors aside (both of whom I adored in other films, Polley in the Dawn of the Dead remake and Brody as the mentally handicapped guy in The Village), I felt a bit awkward when Dren watched the two protagonists have sex on a filthy labratory couch. Then I had trouble getting past the weird feeling in my gut when Adrian Brodie taught Dren how to dance and she was OBVIOUSLY attracted to him. Also, when his dumb-ass decided it was alright to have sex with this creature (not a clone of his girlfriend, a mixture of animals and humans, so a THING), I had to fight the urge to get up and leave the theater. And finally, during the last twenty minutes of the film, when Dren becomes a male and visciously rapes Sarah Polley's character, I decided I wanted my money back.

As I said, I do not blame any of the actors for this movie's faults. I'd just like to know who the hell saw this schlock-fest and thought it was a decent film. I also read something about the DVD release should have alternate endings. Like what? Dren turns back into a female and rapes Andrien Brody? Come on, how on Earth could anyone want to see this disturbing film again?
After it was FINALLY over (and my girlfriend was nearly sick from the rape scene), we headed for the nearby exit. I couldn't stand the feeling I had in my stomach about what I'd just seen and felt I had to say something. I found one of the girls working the concession stand and politely asked her to locate the manager for me. After a minute, a large man in a nice suit walked up and shook my hand, introducing himself as the manager. I explained to him that I did not enjoy the film but I was not going to demand a refund. I simply wanted to know how the hell this movie got the semi-decent ratings it did and how he felt about it? Apparently I said something wrong because the big guy in the nice suit turned bright red and said, "If you'd rather not come back to this theater, you can continue talking about this movie. Otherwise, please refrain from libling a decent film."
By the way, lible is printed, slander is spoken. Dumb-ass.

Basically, I'd just like to know what happened to the science-fiction (or in this case, somewhat science-fact) movies that used to frightening yet not sickening. Something has gone seriously wrong with our mentality as a nation if we feel it's alright to make movies about creating life, then killing it, then getting raped by it, then killing it again. What does anyone learn from watching this kind of movie?
How NOT to make a movie.

[–] AngryAfghan 14 years ago

Woah! Post way too long for me to bother reading, you are clearly quite young otherwise you would have better things to do than spend time typing all that out. Also you can't libel a film anyway. Only in America.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix

[–] Spixe 14 years ago

You got issues mate, why the hell would you want to talk to the manager about why people like a certain movie? You might as well walk up to a hot dog vender and ask why do some people not like hotdogs. This is such an irrelevant post! (in my humble opinion)

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] han-skat 14 years ago

Hear, hear! This movie is a lesson on how not to make a movie. It was borderline retarded at moments. For smart people, these two scientists where dumb as bricks.

The dude actually had sex with that mutant thing. I don't care how horny you get, or how blue-balled you are, you don't go sticking your penis into unpredictable and potentially dangerous places.

The rape-scene at the end also went the wrong way. The female scientist should've been the one getting killed for being a retarded degenerate. After that, the creature should've ripped the dude (for being even more stupid than that other degenerate with mother/daughter issues out of control) to shreds and then vanished into the woods. That's an ending I would've actually liked.

[–] Evonne97 14 years ago

WOW! Soooo you didn't like the movie. BIG FUZZY DEAL! You will not like everything you see. But what exactly did you think you were going to accomplish by going to management other than to come off as some nut job movie goer who was a little toooo into the film? Splice didn't almost get you banned from the theater, you almost got yourself banned from the theater with those antics. As for the movie, perhaps it is an art imitating life sort of thing, because I don't know what planet you think you're living on, but theres some pretty sick *beep* going on out there and not surprising at all that people would make movies about it. A word of advice: do more research on the films you might want to see, and I mean checking various sites and even reading a few spoilers so you can better censor what you watch. If from what you find you don't like what you've read about the film, DON'T SEE IT. Case closed. you wont be writhing in your seat with disgust, your girlfriend wont hurl in someones popcorn, you get to save your hard earned money, and management wont have to deal with another eye rolling "is this guy serious?!?" moment. Everybody ends up happy :)

[–] cavnative 14 years ago

Basically this movie is an attempt at trying to hard. The science fiction elements. The horror elements. The offer in the folder being slid across the table. With the premise that she can't tell anyone about what she knows.
The "when you ask a question, do you say the heck with it. And then end the sentence with; What's the worst that could...?"
A theater is going to show what it does. It's got product to sell. And previews to entice the audiences with. And who knows what's down the road. They might make a Splice 2.

[–] jds_182 14 years ago

I agree that the sex scenes were unexpected & a little disturbing but I still enjoyed the film. Although it was nothing at all like the trailers portrayed.

[–] nm4905072 14 years ago

It sucks that there are people like you in the world. Blaming the employees at a local theater just because YOU did not like this movie! Shame on you! I find it very hard to belive that a manager would get angry at you, just because you told him your opinion "in a polite way". Your probably bending the truth to your advantage there. Even if you did not directly demand your money back, that was certanly your intention, as you mention earlier in your post and you probably hinted towards it. You do not have the right to get your money refunded just because you did not like the movie. How the hell would the movie industry make money if everyone could just ask for their money back if the did not enjoy a film. Splice did not nearly get you banned at your lokal theater. You'r own greedy selfcentered ass did.

If you often get offended by films with questionable moral characters and plots - It's your own responsability to research the content of the film beforehand. Please do that in the future. If you enter the FAQ section of a title, you will most likely find a spoiler parent guide to the movie.

[–] poiuyt-1 14 years ago

Sure, the sex was a little on the disturbing side, but that's okay considering how the creators probably went for disturbing.

It always cracks me up how some people can have your reaction to some ordinary interspecial sex, rape, whatever. It happens all the time and pretending it doesn't wont do any good.

I remember when I saw Earthlings. I thought it was horrific and I couldn't bear myself to watch it to the end in one sitting. Does that make it bad? No! I recommended it to my friends.

[–] The_Grither 14 years ago

This is the problem with people today. They're so full of themselves that they can't comprehend how something they didn't like could be liked by others. Seriously, what were you hoping to accomplish by complaing about the movie to the manager?
Did you just want to make sure someone else knew what you thought, because your opinions are soooo important, and couldn't wait to get home and post it online so you needed to find a captive audience?
I didn't learn anything from this movie, but I was looking for an education. I wanted to be entertained. And although I also found it a bit disturbing (not much though), I still enjoyed it.