How Splice Nearly Got Me Banned From My Local Theater
I don't want to ruin this movie for anyone, so if you haven't seen it, please don't read any further.
Alright, let's start with the previews. When previews for Splice hit the airwaves, it was promoted as a sci-fi/horror film about scientists who create a new life form, which the clever writers called "science's newest miracle (is) a mistake." After seeing a handful of trailers, I must admit I was intrigued. Maybe this was going to be like Species with more of a plot or character development to it. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
The actors aside (both of whom I adored in other films, Polley in the Dawn of the Dead remake and Brody as the mentally handicapped guy in The Village), I felt a bit awkward when Dren watched the two protagonists have sex on a filthy labratory couch. Then I had trouble getting past the weird feeling in my gut when Adrian Brodie taught Dren how to dance and she was OBVIOUSLY attracted to him. Also, when his dumb-ass decided it was alright to have sex with this creature (not a clone of his girlfriend, a mixture of animals and humans, so a THING), I had to fight the urge to get up and leave the theater. And finally, during the last twenty minutes of the film, when Dren becomes a male and visciously rapes Sarah Polley's character, I decided I wanted my money back.
As I said, I do not blame any of the actors for this movie's faults. I'd just like to know who the hell saw this schlock-fest and thought it was a decent film. I also read something about the DVD release should have alternate endings. Like what? Dren turns back into a female and rapes Andrien Brody? Come on, how on Earth could anyone want to see this disturbing film again?
After it was FINALLY over (and my girlfriend was nearly sick from the rape scene), we headed for the nearby exit. I couldn't stand the feeling I had in my stomach about what I'd just seen and felt I had to say something. I found one of the girls working the concession stand and politely asked her to locate the manager for me. After a minute, a large man in a nice suit walked up and shook my hand, introducing himself as the manager. I explained to him that I did not enjoy the film but I was not going to demand a refund. I simply wanted to know how the hell this movie got the semi-decent ratings it did and how he felt about it? Apparently I said something wrong because the big guy in the nice suit turned bright red and said, "If you'd rather not come back to this theater, you can continue talking about this movie. Otherwise, please refrain from libling a decent film."
By the way, lible is printed, slander is spoken. Dumb-ass.
Basically, I'd just like to know what happened to the science-fiction (or in this case, somewhat science-fact) movies that used to frightening yet not sickening. Something has gone seriously wrong with our mentality as a nation if we feel it's alright to make movies about creating life, then killing it, then getting raped by it, then killing it again. What does anyone learn from watching this kind of movie?
How NOT to make a movie.