Indeed. Joel is a bag of problems as well. People are not wrong to comment how high maintenance or selfish Clem is (hell, she knows it, and she tells him multiple times), but I think you hit it on the head: few of us would really want to stick with either of them, based on what we see in the movie.
I like the fact these weren't idealized relationships because for me, it's exactly what you said, the movie is about how people deal with imperfect relationship dynamics. I don't think it's optimistic or pessimistic...just more of...this is how it is. Love is challenging. May not work, but you gotta try.
Btw, fun fact, I don't know if you've seen the deleted scenes, but I think the implication is that Joel sorta breaks up with Naomi twice, and both times, it's because he meets Clem. That valentines phone call he makes to Clem, after he leaves her apartment, and she's all like "well I guess we're married then" and he's all smiling and shit. He actually makes that phone call immediately after calling Naomi back (he was missing the whole day, and she didn't know what happened to him).
The shift in his emotion from call to call is great, and it gives a different perspective as to why he felt so uncomfortable in her apartment, esp when she's coming on to him. I presume that these scenes were deleted so that the audience would feel more positively about Joel's character. Which is a shame because I think it led people...well...overidealize Joel in the theatrical cut when he's not exactly your dream boy either.
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