there are so many, but for me it has to be when the flecks are getting ready to drive to the show, and gerry's friend is advising him on great places to stop on the way to philly...
"you can get a ham sandwich at Lee's Comeuppance"...
as in, Gen. Robt. E. Lee, of course...
it's a little hard to pick out, but i was on the floor when i heard that one...
By far my favorite was the Swans scene where he is on the treadmill next to the dog, and she comes in to tell him that the dog pooped in one of his slippers... Anyway, at the end of the scene there is something like:
-Have you been talking to her?
-Yes.
-Well, what have you been saying?
-I've been telling her that when mommy and daddy make love it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
-(to self) Sometimes...
wwrd
"We both love soup" is the best!
"I did cramps the way Meryl Streep did accents" - Calliope (Middlesex)
At the airport when the guy strokes Parker's dog and it barks at him. After he shouts at Parker and her husband she shouts back "You don't know who you're talking to!"
It's said off-screen but I just love that they have such a sense of importance that they'd bust out that line to a perfectstranger.
Also the Sherlock Holmes line is just brilliant because one immediately imagines the dog with that outfit and a little pipe. Hilarious movie.
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Captain Murphy: Way to go Sparks, you broke the monitor and you're dead. Happy?
So many brilliant lines - here are a few I didn't see mentioned (but maybe I missed them):
- "that's one happy fella"
- Meg's face when they talk about lactose intolerance. Her expression is priceless.
- after noticing the two left feet, Willard says something like, "Oh man. Go get 'em, guy!" - that line always puts me on the floor for some reason.
After Rhapsody the poodle wins her group, Sheri Ann and Christy share a long, passionate kiss that's captured on live TV. In their hotel room, Stefan and Scott are clearly surprised when they see it. Scott recovers first.
Scott: Rhapsody has two mommies.
I laugh out loud every time! I'll bet this was an improvised line. There are so many great lines in this film.
If you don't know, Scott's comment references a 1989 children's book, "Heather Has Two Mommies," about a girl who lives with her biological mother and the mother's same-sex partner. It was the 11th most banned book in the U.S. in the 1990's.
For me one of the funniest lines in the movie is a classic Parker Posey improvisation, when she comes back with the rooster toy...
Hamilton: "I send you for the bee and you come back with this purple thing?"
Meg: "Don't spit at me!"
Classic because you can tell that Michael Hitchcock's fake braces cause him to spray a little spit on the word "purple", because you can see her blink when he says it. So you know her response was completely ad-libbed.
Another classic PP moment, with the hotel maid:
Meg: "I called you here 30 minutes ago, you call yourself a maid? Where are you from? Because I know a man with the INS, and he will come here, IN A VAN, and take you back to where you came from!"
The maid's reaction is great too.
"Let us take the risks of peace upon our lives, not impose the risks of war upon the world." -Quaker proverb
"Look at the size of that. I've taken sponge baths in smaller bowls than that."
And the whole Meg and Hamilton, how they met exchange. Starbucks, Macs, and J Crew. Hilarious.
Harlan : All-natural white pistachio nut!
Buck: Pretty much everything he says, but I love the part when he starts overusing the baseball references.
(From the deleted scenes)
Jack: You could say me and my uncle are a pair of Jacks.
Scott: Well we're a pair of Queens, we win! Let's play again!
Hotel Manager: Well there's a pet shop downstairs...
Meg: There's a pet shop downstairs? What are you a wizard? A genius? Why didn't you tell me that before? Thank you you stupid Hotel Manager!