films that equate infidelity with romance

This is a case where I just don't think there's a good answer. Ideally they would try to smoothly break things off before engaging in another relationship, but that's probably never easy and while perhaps not exactly condonable can be to at least an extent understandable. As they say, we're only human after all and I don't know how much we should chastise that. Doesn't make it right per se, but it does complicate matters. In cases like say Titanic it's hard to condemn given that Rose seemed strong-armed into staying in a relationship with a total jerk. In cases like this film or Doctor Zhivago (a film with a man who cheats that people love I might add) the matter is complicated by the fact that neither Geoffrey or Tonya were bad and or mean partners like Cal and did treat their spouses fine and seemed like genuinely nice people. Which does make the way events play out tougher to judge by comparison. Again, I just really don't know.

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What a topic you've raised. If I were to find my next door neighbour carrying on an adulterous affair, I would be horrified. To see it depicted in the movies, I'm often falling for the romanticized side of it, and hardly feel any judgement at all. This is what they call, the art of cinema manipulation. We are shown so much of the adulterous couple concerned, and their feelings, and little of the wronged parties. I do think however that, as romantic as Brief Encounter is, we are definitely shown by Alec and Laura, their guilt and shame. It plays quite a significant part in the film, especially by Laura. Her husband is such a sweet, kind man, and I think the film is so successful, in showing the whole damn messiness and shame of it all, without necessarily being over moralistic. Just my point of view.

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Romance and infidelity mirror life. That's why they're so often entertwined. Also, that conflict adds to the drama.Films are not designed to be free of it. And in life, conflict arises. It's one of many ingredients in a fully-lived life.

~ Native Angeleno

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I don't think this movie romanticized infidelity at all. The effects of the affair are devastating and tragic. If she hadn't thrown herself at another man she, her husband and her lover would have lived. Instead she died alone in the desert...the one thing she didn't want.

I've lost people before, so when I care about someone I plant a tracking device on them.

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I don't see this film equating infidelity with romance. It's not romantic to be unfaithful at all. I see the film as dealing with a doomed love affair. There will be no happy ever after despite the love and passion Katherine and Almasy feel for each other. I think it's the tragedy that people find romantic and not the infidelity.

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It's not romantic to be unfaithful. Almasi and Katherine affair leading to Katherine husband trying to killing them both. Katherine dying in dark cave in the dessert alone is something she specifically said she didn't want. This movie does not romanticize affairs. It's a tragic story. Hannah and Kip was adorable together in the movie.

The Philadelphia Story does romanticize man having an affair. Katherine Hepburn father had been cheating for a while on her mom. When Katherine Hepburn character confronted him about it in front of her mom he basically told his daughter she (his wife) understood the need for his affair. He then proceeded to blame his daughter and his need to fell young for the affairs. He was not made out to be scum in the movie.

In the epic romance Doctor Zhivago a man leaves his wife and children for his "true love". There are other movies where men had affairs and are not made out to be bad person.

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spot on for the most part

except i don't agree with The Postman Always Rings Twice

that was completely different scenario, the women doesn't cheat on her husband because she's in love with the other guy, she just uses him to do her dirty work for her

it doesn't translate to noirs because there the woman is supposed to be evil, that's why they're called femme fatales


so many movies, so little time

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If a man cheats, he's scum and has to pay (Fatal Attraction/Eyes Wide Shut) but if a woman cheats, either her partner is abusive (Titanic/From Here to Eternity) or boring (Sleepless in Seattle/Affair to Remember/Philadelphia Story). In most cases, she ends up with her "true love".

Out Of Africa and Matchpoint are also examples of that. In Out of Africa Meryll Streep's character was married, had an affair and it was one of the most romantic beautiful stories ever told. She was miserable in her marriage, so, it was very easy to approve and feel moved by the infidelity. (It helps that the lover was Robert Redford 30 years ago).

In Matchpoint, the man was a sociopath. He never loved his wife, but he never truly loved his much-more-beautiful mistress either (considering that he murdered her)

That is because most movies show an idea, already installed in society, about infidelity: women cheat for love, men cheat for lust.

In The Painted Veil, if I recall, Naolmi Watts also cheats because her marriage is loveless and the husband, Edward Norton, is kind-of a boring jerk. In a cruel twist of fate, Edward and Naomi end up falling truly in love, but right then his original plot to kill her by exposing her to collera backfires .

And, I think, in Beyond Borders, Angelina Jolie's character also cheats because her marriage is pretty lame and she happens to meet her soulmate. (Correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't seen that movie in AGES)

The idea of women cheating when they are stuck in crappy marriages and true love suddenly appears is not that far for the reality. (Indeed, Out of Africa, WAS based on a true story) Women USUALLY cheat if they found true love in somebody else, and they tend to either leave the spouse or break up the affair and stay miserable forever (Bridges of Madison County). A man is more likely to cheat just for sex, or maintain an affair forever.

Of course, women are perfectly capable of cheating just for lust, it's just not THAT common.

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