MovieChat Forums > The English Patient (1996) Discussion > films that equate infidelity with romanc...

films that equate infidelity with romance

posted 14 years ago by TettiTatti
94 replies | jump to latest

I find it disturbing to see a theme pop up in some of the films that most people think are the most romantic. How many times will we see a woman cheat on her spouse or current boyfriend and have the film portray it as a good (or at least understandable) thing? I find myself instantly feeling sorry for the wronged party and developing a dislike for the character doing the cheating. The English Patient was the latest film I've seen that fits this mold (I don't know why I avoided seeing this for so long, perhaps Seinfeld spoiled it for me). Some other examples:

Love Affair/An Affair to Remember (both main characters cheat on their partners)
Sleepless in Seattle ("virtual" cheating)
The Notebook (she cheats on her fiance on the eve of her wedding)
Titanic
Casablanca
Bridges of Madison County
Brief Encounter
From Here to Eternity
Philadelphia Story
Postman always rings twice

etc...

If a man cheats, he's scum and has to pay (Fatal Attraction/Eyes Wide Shut) but if a woman cheats, either her partner is abusive (Titanic/From Here to Eternity) or boring (Sleepless in Seattle/Affair to Remember/Philadelphia Story). In most cases, she ends up with her "true love". Isn't it romantic?

[–] stargazerarts 8 years ago

This film is the precise antithesis of what you are describing.

She ends up cold, alone, and dead. He ends up burned, disfigured, and also dead.

In fact, there's not one good thing that comes from their love, other than that it happened, and that there were terrible consequences for literally everyone involved.

So your bafflement is baffling.

Also, Casablanca? Did you even see it?

[–] Wuchak (8733) 6 years ago

This film is the precise antithesis of what you are describing.

She ends up cold, alone, and dead. He ends up burned, disfigured, and also dead.

In fact, there's not one good thing that comes from their love, other than that it happened, and that there were terrible consequences for literally everyone involved.

It makes me wonder if the OP even saw the movie to the end?

[–] AndrewGS 8 years ago

If a man cheats, he's scum and has to pay (Fatal Attraction/Eyes Wide Shut) but if a woman cheats, either her partner is abusive (Titanic/From Here to Eternity) or boring (Sleepless in Seattle/Affair to Remember/Philadelphia Story).

Replying late but I thought the man in Eyes Wide Shut was portrayed pretty sympathetically and the film suggested the idea that he had to be punished, or punished to a high degree, was excessive. OTOH the cheating wife in The Postman Always Rings Twice was portrayed as evil rather than sympathetic and that wasn't a romantic movie.

Some men (like Cal) are abusive and even if they aren't some relationships are entered into unwillingly (like The Notebook), I don't see how depicting that as a prelude to a romance is trying to make a double standard.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

I think you got Sleepless in Seattle confused with You've Got Mail...

[–] Prelude (1443) 6 years ago

Actually the boyfriend in both those movies were almost the same character, as Meg Ryan was bored by both of them, lol. They were both basically decent, nice men but who didn't light a spark for her, and she broke up with both men in the most warm and civilized manner. It always struck me as quite the coincidence between those two films.