There's a great line literally every 10 seconds, but one of mine would be..
"Put them in the Iron Maiden!"
"Iron Maiden?!? Excellent!!"
The air is clean, the water's clean...even the dirt is clean!
When all of your wishes are granted....
Many of your dreams...will be destroyed
Ted (reading from Socrates): "The only true wisdom lies in knowing that you know nothing."
Bill: That's us, dude!
Miss "Of Arc"!
share[deleted]
"I'm Darth Ted."
"And I'm Luke Bill... and you're not my father!"
[commence pretend light saber battle]
[Bill and Ted are working on their history report]
Bill: Okay, Ted, George Washington. One: the father of our country.
Ted: Two: born on President's Day.
Bill: Three: the dollar-bill guy.
Ted: Bill, you ever made a mushroom out of his head? It's like, just like...
Bill: Ted. Alaska.
Ted: Okay. Um... Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick.
Bill: That's Captain Ahab, dude.
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Mr. Ryan: It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
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[Bill thought Ted was killed]
Bill: Whoa! Ted! You're alive!
Ted: Yeah! I fell out of my suit when I hit the floor.
[they hug]
Bill, Ted: [to each other] Fag
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One Of The Three Most Important People in the World: It's you!
Ted: Yeah! It's us!
[to Bill]
Ted: Who are we?
[the strangers start playing air guitar, so Bill and Ted play also; more people come out and join them]
Ted: Bill, I think they want us to say something.
Bill: What should I say?
Ted: [shrugs] Make something up.
Bill: Be excellent to each other.
[room murmurs appreciatively]
Ted: Party on, dudes!
[room approves]
Bill: [to Ted] Good one, dude.
[to room]
Bill: Well, we gotta get back to our report.
Ted: Yeah. We'd take you with us, but it's a history report, not a future report.
Bill: Later.
The Three Most Important People in the World: Later.
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Bill: He's dead?
Mr. Ryan: So, Bill, what you're telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short dead dude.
Bill: Well, yeah.
Ted: You totally blew it, dude.
Mr. Ryan: Ted, stand up.
Ted: Stand up?
Mr. Ryan: Yes, son. Stand up.
[Ted stands]
Mr. Ryan: Now, who was Joan of Arc?
Ted: ...Noah's wife?
[laughter, then bell]
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Ted: Now your dad's going for it in your own room!
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Your stepmom *is* cute, though.
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
Ted: Remember when I asked her to the prom?
Bill: SHUT UP, TED!
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Bill: You ditched Napoleon!
Ted: Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas?
Deacon: He was a dick.
"ZIGGY PIGGY! ZIGGY PIGGY! ZIGGY PIGGY!"
Napoleon Bonaparte. Certified Ziggy Piggy.