I think the problem was twofold:
1. As arflexit pointed out above, they were in a rush to compete with Marvel. Marvel had built a groundwork that they built on to develop their universe. DC just wanted to match it, but without the organic growth at the ground level, they keep fumbling and it always feels weird. It smacks of desperation. "We've got an extended universe, too! Guys? Guys...?"
2. Part of the reason Nolan was successful with Batman was because he kept the dark, gloomy, brooding atmosphere and world of the Dark Knight intact. As so many do, DC confused "gritty" with "good art". So they pushed this "edgy, brooding" Superman. Superman is a spit-curl and a smile. He's primary colours. He's Gleam incarnate. His pain comes from his loneliness and his inability to save everybody (actually masterfully done by Superman Returns, a mixed-bag film, but that scene where he's floating with Lois is POWERFUL). But he doesn't carry it around and dwell on it. He isn't about his pain.
If they'd set out to just tell a really great Superman story and worried about the franchise-ability later, they would have done better. If they hadn't pushed gloom onto the property, it could have been what it needed to be -artistically speaking - instead of feeling false and weird.
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