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No matter what I would do, I don't think I'd stand a chance against a polar bear.

posted a year ago by [deleted]
30 replies | jump to latest

They are four and a half feet taller than me, and several times my mass. They have claws like razors and teeth like daggers. They are also many times stronger than even the strongest humans. No matter how much time I spent in a gym working out and honing my skills, I would always lose without a weapon.

Even with a good gun, a polar bear might be able to get me. They are quick on top of everything else, and might be able to rip my throat out before I can gun one down.

I think my best strategy would be to just avoid their habitat. Hopefully they stay in the far north, but I hear they are straying further south these days.

[–] R_Kane (15828) a year ago

That is exactly the defeatist attitude that will get you killed, OP.

Don’t go out in the woods today/Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7384) a year ago

Maybe offer it a coca-cola? Otherwise, I got nothing.

[–] Otter (24464) a year ago

There are insane SCUBA divers, who dive under the ice pack in polar regions. In Alaska and northern Canada, those divers have to have at least one person with a large-bore rifle standing at their exit-entrance hole on the ice, because a polar bear would be totally happy to dive after a human. A human underwater has no more chance against a polar bear than one on land.

We aren't the apex predators on this planet, folks.

[–] [deleted] a year ago

Far from it, when we are unarmed.

[–] Otter (24464) a year ago

I've heard of more human-eating tigers, than tiger-eating humans.

[–] parkerbot (10724) a year ago

C'mon Haslet, think positive.

Any man with balls thinks he at least has a chance against a polar bear - he'll probably die a horrible death, but he should think he has a chance and that's all that matters.

And you'll probably never in your entire life run into a polar bear in the wild, so there's that.

[–] Mrmojo4700 (21718) a year ago

Control your breathing and make every shot count because if they make it to you, it’s over with. An alternative is to just make sure you can run faster than whoever else is there.

[–] Padeen (6459) a year ago

Don't underestimate bear spray. The stuff has a good track record, even against polar bears.

[–] [deleted] a year ago

just play dead

[–] Padeen (6459) a year ago

“If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, goodnight”

[–] [deleted] a year ago

I'm told Kodiak's normally see humans as a food source, so yes, not a good chance of surviving there.

I've never heard of a human defeating a bear without a good weapon. sometimes they just walk away after taking a bit or two, though.

[–] Padeen (6459) a year ago

It's a general rule if you're foolish enough to go into bear territory without protection. I'd say bear spray for black bear territory and a firearm for grizzly/polar territory.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39853) a year ago

Luckily, no polar bears in ‘Sunny’ Bournemouth.