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No matter what I would do, I don't think I'd stand a chance against a polar bear.

posted a year ago by [deleted]
30 replies | jump to latest

They are four and a half feet taller than me, and several times my mass. They have claws like razors and teeth like daggers. They are also many times stronger than even the strongest humans. No matter how much time I spent in a gym working out and honing my skills, I would always lose without a weapon.

Even with a good gun, a polar bear might be able to get me. They are quick on top of everything else, and might be able to rip my throat out before I can gun one down.

I think my best strategy would be to just avoid their habitat. Hopefully they stay in the far north, but I hear they are straying further south these days.

[–] chilidoggg (14603) a year ago

Don't give it cocaine.

[–] ShogunofYonkers (78604) a year ago

Cocaine Chihuahuas are the deadliest beasts, those little shits have a chip on their shoulder to begin with…chop them up a line and they can punch a hundred times their weight.!

[–] samoanjoes (58612) a year ago

That's why I always walk around in a polar bear suit so they think I'm one of them.

[–] BKB (11323) a year ago

What prompted you to come up with this topic?? You know someone who had the unfortunate pleasure of running into one or what??

[–] [deleted] a year ago

You Tube nature videos.

[–] BKB (11323) a year ago

I saw one those not too long that showed a black bear tumble down a cliff to his death while trying to get at some Goats..

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/26fuGYLVgjA

[–] OnanTheBarbarian (13173) a year ago

I just watched a show last night on tv about a woman who was attacked by a polar bear. I was like, WTF? Why are you trekking around the arctic?

It turns out, polar bears do go into small towns in Canada and Alaska and run into people.

[–] GolfnGuitars (3122) a year ago

They really are such fascinating animals. We have a polar bear exhibit here at the Columbus Zoo that's very popular. They're excellent swimmers also...you can watch them swim underwater and above the water at the Zoo.

It's funny how much more active they seem to be in colder weather, compared to warmer weather. They usually just sleep when the weather is nice...but, when they're active, they're so entertaining to watch!

[–] PaladinNJ (21783) a year ago

Interesting Trivia:
In the movie "Thirty Days of Night" there was supposed to be a scene where a polar bear comes into town, probably attracted by the smell of all the fresh meat. The vampires take it down just for fun. The director or producers decided not to film it because they didn't think the audience would find it believable.

[–] nyctc7 (44114) a year ago

Polar bear cub asks his mom, "Am I a polar bear?"
"Yes, dear, you are a polar bear"
"Are you sure? Am I really, really a polar bear?"
"Yes dear, you really really are a polar bear. Why do you ask?"
"Because I'm freezing my ass off"

[–] chilidoggg (14603) a year ago

HAH!

[–] jriley555 (8551) a year ago

II've read that polar bears, unlike most other bear species, readily see humans as prey. Given that they are, more often than not likely starving, I don't have any difficulty believing that.

Here are some polar bears that must have been, in the moment, well fed :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOFCQ2bfmHw

[–] Mrmojo4700 (21721) a year ago

I didn’t remember a polar bear being one of the monsters in that song. 😀

[–] rootvegetables (1899) a year ago

Bear in There

There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
And munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.

—Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic

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