And it's not what you guys who are always yelling about this think it is.
https://www.boredpanda.com/tired-of-nice-guys/?cexp_id=77672&cexp_var=5&_f=trending&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
"Nice guys" put in quotes intentionally.
He's absolutely correct, but it's sad that women have been saying this for ages, but one man reiterating their points is what went viral.
shareMy opinion;
- Most 'nice guys' seem to conflate introversion and shyness for kindness. A lot of the 'assholes' they complain about are simply normal guys who are a bit more out going. A lot of self proclaimed 'nice guys' actually seem extremely bitter and nasty but they're just avoidant in social interactions so don't express it to others. They think this makes them 'nice'. This is part of the issue. 'Niceness' for them is often meekness in the eyes of others.
- Expanding upon that, their shyness is often the reason they're not successful with women. I get the feeling that many 'nice guys' don't really approach women, certainly not competently, they then act begrudged when women date men who do approach them.
- Another thing they're guilty off is thinking being an obese, unkept slob means they're nicer than handsome men. A sort of 'ugly people have better personalities' thing.
- 'Nice guys' often have hobbies that involve playing video games and watching Dragon Ball Z or Star Wars. Sadly these sorts of interests are boring to many women. Many other men have hobbies that involve socializing with others and actually leaving the house.
- They seem to think they deserve love for simply not being an abusive asshole. If only it were that simple.
- They have higher standards than they deserve. They likely could get a chubby nerdy girl as a partner, with a bit of effort, but they see those types as beneath them.
All in all 'nice guys' are largely shy unkept nerds who think because they're too shy to talk to women sexually and because they wouldn't hurt a fly that they're owed an angelic busty virgin to drop from the heavens right on their ding-a-ling whilst they sit eating doritos and playing Call of Duty. All they offer in return is the promise of no physical abuse and that they wouldn't cheat (because most women aren't interested in them, not through their superior virtues).
But what do I know, I'm no expert.
Yeah, they're not nice, they're just attempting to be nice because they want something. And think that they're owed for making the attempt.
shareAgree to a large extent.
But I think the other half of nice guys are guys who spend most of their lives in the gym and on personal grooming. So when they randomly approach women and compliment them solely on their looks - because that's what they centre in their own lives, their appearance - and it's not immediately reciprocated, they genuinely don't get it and come back with insults. Not only because they offered these women what they want in return, but also because they feel their appearance alone entitles them to women's attention over their words anyway, and when all the efforts they put into their appearance "fails", their sense of entitlement is tested. Their job is gym like Ken's job is beach, they don't try to cultivate interests outside of that unless it's interests they share with their fellow gym bros. And that's who they turn to for advice when women reject them, and are pumped up as doing all the right things by them, instead of talking to women and expanding their social skills outside of their bubble.
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He's just pandering to woman, while shitting on men, Which is obviously why you like the article. But his points are just wrong anyway. This rant started with a woman asking where all the nice guys are. If being nice is standard, and only a small piece of a bigger puzzle, then why are so many woman complaining that they can't find them, or complaining that they end up with bad guys? Despite what they say, a lot of woman are to bad guys. Women don't often admit to it, because they know how it sounds, but they have their egos too, and they think they can fix these guys.
To be fair though, men do the same thing. There plenty of men that end up with batshit insane women, because they are good in bed, over actual nice women. A lot of men also have a hero complex, and think they can save a woman. The difference to me that men seem to take more accountability for their choices.
But again, being nice is not standard, or required, and if it's not working, just stop trying to be nice. Talk some shit, but be playful about it, and watch how much more success you will have.
Dudes who do this are pieces of shit and traitors to their own kind. That won't get you laid.
shareSorry, but how exactly is being "loyal" to your fellow men supposed to get you sex from women?
shareBecause you should have morals, and ethics that you live by, it's not just about getting laid at any cost. If you are willing to stoop to any level to do it, you are just a piece of shit.
shareWTF are you talking about.
This guy is telling the truth about a subset of straight men, the ones that annoy everyone because they won't shut about how they can't get laid, and who refuse to listen to the real reasons they aren't getting laid. Like, you know, you're doing now.
No, this guy is that subset of men. He tells women what they want to hear, and pretends to understand them because he thinks it will get him laid. He’s doing exactly what he claims to be calling out. He’s fake nice, and he’s trying to manipulate them. It doesn’t work though, it may get you closer to them as a friend, but it doesn’t get you laid. For some people this is a good enough start.
This is the Behavior of your girlfriend’s male friend who got friendzoned, and now he sabotages all of her relationships, because he’s waiting for his chance.
If you actually care about people you don’t tell them what they want to hear, you tell them the truth even if they don’t want to hear it. You aren’t helping them by telling them what they want to hear.
Also where in any of my posts did I complain that I can’t get laid? Please point it out.
Man who gets laid tells men who aren't getting laid what they're doing wrong.
Man who isn't getting laid refuses to listen, for some unfathomable reason.
That’s a really weak appeal to authority argument, since you don’t how much either of us get laid.
But if that’s your logic, then I’m the first guy. Which means my words matter more, and I win the argument.
This is the Behavior of your girlfriend’s male friend who got friendzoned, and now he sabotages all of her relationships, because he’s waiting for his chance.
He's a wolf in sheeps clothing. He pretends that he understands women, and tells them what they want to hear, but he's only doing what he's claiming they are doing, and he's worse for it, because he has to put down other people to prop himself up. But it will still get him the same results. He will get friendzoned, but he won't get laid.
shareIt's a black guy. What do you expect? They live in a culture and society that has constantly lied about them to their benefit, and women are just products of society. They dont shape it. They blindly conform to fit in, way more than men do. Finding a woman who questions anything about society is a fucking rarity.
Blacks are the victims, blacks are strong, blacks are smart, blacks can do no wrong, dating black men is progressive, etc. It's all bullshit that women have to conform to, least be judged, so black men are on easy mode. I don't listen to kids using cheat codes in games to learn how to get good at games, so why the fuck am I listening to this clown? He's also the reason women are asking where the nice guys are, cause none of them are nice and treat women like shit because of their arrogance of playing on easy mode, while mindless birdbrains continue to conform and not realize the faults of their blind conformity. Women make poor choices, women are stupid, women have no agency. Sounds like black men are perfect for them. Let them both find out what a wonderful life and world that unity brings.
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FYI when women ask where the nice guys are, they mean the genuinely nice men - the ones who are kind, thoughtful, ethical, reasonable, etc., not the phoney "nice guys" who are assholes who attempt to be nice when they want something.
This is a linguistic issue, which was started by the fake-nice assholes who call themselves "nice". For now the only way to avoid confusion one's definition of *nice guy* is to be dilligent about using quote marks to make the distinction.
Why are you making the assumption that they are the latter, and not the former? If you are automatically assuming that anyone that says they are nice are just fake nice, then you probably just have a misandrist view towards men.
shareBecause the rant is specifically about the "nice guys", the fake-nice assholes who are always complaining that their attempts to be conditionally nice arent being rewarded, that's why.
You should be learning from the rant, not whining about it.
I read it multiple times, he doesn't differentiate between actual nice guys and fake nice guys. He does call them entitled, bitter, fake, not good enough etc. He doesn't say some men, he addresses all of them this way.
There is nothing for me to learn, because he didn't make any good points, and I see through what he was trying to do. So I'm going to call it out and poke holes in it.
That guy is a buffoon:
“Let me tell you the problem with ‘Nice Guys’. First off, being nice isn’t a flex. That’s what you’re supposed to be. Expecting women to want you because you’re a nice guy, it’s like expecting women to want you because you shower regularly.
“That is not enough. You need more than that. Do you understand? And this bitterness when a girl you like f***s someone that’s not you? What’s that about? Who did they f**k? Somebody with more than niceness, right? Somebody who was charismatic, maybe? Who looked good, who smelled good. Who was funny. Somebody more interesting than you, right? Yeah.”
YIKES
shareYes, this happens all the time. Your friend played the Bad Guy, women love it.
You can be either…
The Good Guy
The Bad Guy
The Nice Guy
The top two get laid because they’re strong. The Nice Guy gets no pussy because he’s weak.
I recommend being a Good Guy, with firm morals and ethics and the courage to see them through.
But yeah, it’s crazy when a guy degrades a woman all night and she can’t wait to have him inside her. As Lisa Bonet says in Angel Heart, ‘It's always the badass that make a girl's heart beat faster’.
The two women that meant the most to me were both well educated and progressive. They would lecture me on the treatment of women. I knew both of them from jobs at different times. Both of them had no problem with other male coworkers who were openly sexist. In the first case the guy was a high level manager at the regional office of the federal agency I worked for. He was involved in HR. If I remember correctly he was in charge of it for the region (Southeastern United States). Whenever he hired a woman he would call down to the field offices that the new female employee was going to be working at to let the male field office supervisor know how hot she was. The second guy was a graduate student in a physics lab that I worked with my girlfriend at the time. She was also a graduate PhD student. This guy was generally sexist and I even saw him once chase another female student around the lab while smacking her in the ass with a ruler. I let my girlfriend (who I truly loved) at the time know about this and she apparently had no problem with it because she still palled around him afterwards.
shareI'm a "Nice Guy" and give 0 fucks whether I finish last or not
shareWhy the need to pretend it isn’t true? It is just evolutionary biology. Being nice is just perceived as a weakness. There are a plethora of examples in the animal kingdom that show that females are attracted to the more flamboyant and arrogant males.
share"Being nice is just perceived as a weakness."
That's not true and you should read the article again.
One of the most important sentences (and not the only one) of this great article is:
If your niceness is conditional, then it’s just manipulation.
And nobody needs to be a mind reader to figure, whether your niceness is only pretended.
E.g. You treat me like a queen and my friend like a doormat --> Pretender! 🤘
Oh bull. Incels and other assholes cling to the belief that women secretly like assholes, because they're assholes themselves - and they are just looking for an excuse to stop faking niceness and just be assholes.
Although most have noticed that being assholes doesn't get them laid either, so they envy and resent the sexy assholes who can get away with what they wish they could.