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Should men be "expected" to foot the bill on dates?

posted 2 years ago by michaelDclarke (1908)
73 replies | jump to latest

Or is it different these days to have both split?

--Michael D. Clarke

[–] Kj1oceanlust (1528) 2 years ago

And people wonder why are world of courtship is so fucked up. Can't you idiots see what's happening here? This boolshit of who should pay has really spoiled courtship and dating. By getting hung up on "who pays", were just ruining dating. Let me rephrase that, dating is ruined as far as I'm concerned. We've completely turned courtship at it's infancy into a money game. It amazes me that so many are so stupidly confounded by this. It just goes to show that love and affection is on the verge of extinction if all we can rack are minds over is "who pays"? This is why I will only go dutch on a first date, or actually try avoiding going to an establishment or any meeting that could include spending money. And if someone has an issue with me wanting to go dutch, then I know where her priority's are at. A woman having an issue with this with me about this just tells me she's an entitled, manipulative control freak. And then I say to her she can go f*ck herself!

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7384) 2 years ago

We haven't done anything, the strain on finances and everyday purchases caused by economic forces outside of our control have made a lot of people more greedy than in the past. When a man could stay in one job his whole life, afford a house, a car and buy groceries without any major struggles, of course it made sense that he would pay for the courtship. Now two people struggle to pay for all of that when they pool their resources, so imagine the effects of this on dating, when you don't have the support of a partner yet and you can immediately see signs you won't have it in the future - and that goes for men and women.

[–] Keelai (36149) 2 years ago

The man pays for early dates especially if he initiated by asking her out. Later, they can go Dutch or she can pay sometimes.

Choose freebie or low cost places if living on a tight budget.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

"...especially if he initiated by asking her out."

The woman can always refuse. She shouldn't feel obliged to go on a date if she doesn't want to.

You make it sound like dating is a burden on women, rather than the means to which most women get married and have families, which, last time I checked, was what a majority of women and men wanted.

Anyway, whilst it made be a courtesy for the man to pay, it doesn't strike me as very feminist or egalitarian. TRUE feminism should be about a state of equality, and for anyone (includign Keelai) who pipes up by saying "But men get paid more than women, blah blah blah..." such a narrow and non-intersectional approach to dating dynamics, ignores the fact that gender/sex is not the only factor determining financial supremacy. Upper-class women and men who benefited from elite educations, are more likely to have good jobs than women and men who were raised poor. Then again, a lot of people from across the political spectrum are snobs when it comes to class, and believe that working-class people should "stay in their lane."