MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > Its interesting how with me not having a...

Its interesting how with me not having a girlfriend in life at all...

posted 3 years ago by TheMan18 (13184)
63 replies | jump to latest

... I often, both subtly and outright openly in a philosophically curious sort of manner, and with questions of law and morality to boot even in one aspect, fantasized about having BAD ones in my life, like those potentially guilty female villains we see in films like "Basic Instinct" (1992), "Thursday" (1998) (lol indeed), "Someone to Die For" (1995) (OK her character wasn't quite a villain DESPITE her actions, but it made me THINK besides having that scene which also made me CRY as I said here on innumerable occasions), "Last Seduction" (1994), "Blue Seduction" (2009) (yeah, its a very poor film but still...), "The Cheerleaders" (1973) (I wouldn't necessarily want this to happen to me even in THAT scenario but again thoughts - the film was very good actually), "Der Fan" (1982) (The Fan) - very good German film, "Goth" (2003), "Nobody Loves Alice" (2008) etc. Heck, Bonnie & Clyde (1967) is an eternal classic and not just because of that one related aspect.

But its just a weird FANTASY I was having. And as far as one deed was concerned, besides m***er, well... I didn't really want it either but it made me think a LOT, and I often pretentiously craved here for indulgence - from internet users who were completely at best beyond interests. And in me it cultivated a sense of mystery and MORBID curiosity. Nothing to do with mothers who mistreat children here whatsoever, including films as such.

And is me having related thoughts and imaginations, even if they don't bring total happiness but may mentally elevate other chaos in a cheatful, silly black comedy in reality sorta way, OK and healthy or should I let it go?

Not to mention, I was often very shy with ladies. And the "beautiful female villain" in movies trope, no matter what subject although there are exceptions, fascinated me. No men haha and don't worry from either side.

Yeah, nothing new from TheMan18. However... Awww... And it is fantasy and imagination, and movie interests too. :)

[–] sslssg (35179) 3 years ago

This is really moving into moviebuff territory.

[–] Furienna (3375) 3 years ago

My brother is still kind of involved with a very crazy and aggressive woman.
She is probably tame compared to those female movie villains, but still bad enough to hurt my brother.
And that is nothing, that you want to experience.
So that is all, that I can say about this.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

So in any case its a serious matter then?
Also, however "aggressive" but in all those movies at least, its FICTION. :)

[–] Furienna (3375) 3 years ago

It is a very toxic relationship, that has been very bad for my brother.
It is like she's been breaking him down mentally for eleven years.
Fortunately, I don't believe that there has been much physical violence.
But it has been very lopsided in her favor.
He has given her almost all of his money until he became broke.
He did all kinds of work around her house and even bought her a cottage.
But she can turn on him in an instant and start telling him what a scum he is.
Unfortunately, he is very sensitive and will take everything that she says seriously.
But he can't really let go off her either, even though I think that he hasn't visited her for a while now.

While she may not be a movie villain, it is bad enough as it is.
So I don't think that such a relationship is something to fantasize about.

[–] mikethemartian (6998) 3 years ago

My sister is like that. I remember whenever she was with a nice guy who really cared about her she would treat them like shit. I don’t have anything to do with her anymore.

[–] Furienna (3375) 3 years ago

Oy...
Yes, you have to be careful before you end up with some people.

[–] Snator (125) 3 years ago

Here is another movie for your list :) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0453383/

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Very good film, yes, but in that movie... Well... They were more victims than "villains".

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Seen Kitten With a Whip (1964) snator (Senator?)? I will try and track down that one.

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

Honey, you don't want a villainess as a girlfriend.

The fantasy is that they will free you from the mundanity of life and that while you're with them you won't have to follow anyone's rules, the reality is that they'll dump you and leave with all your savings.

[–] Furienna (3375) 3 years ago

And that is the best case scenario!

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Well, I guess not...

Thing IS though, in my own little way, that not many even understood, it was a bit of a fantasy and also made me think. Also, in one movie for instance, I wasn't even sure if that scene was it - it was a 2013 Lars von Trier film, and great film, that had an ambiguous possible gender reversal train scene.

And yeah haha I probably wouldn't want this in real life but still... Even if mentally, I kinda had to at least occasionally wonder, what with all the debates and also typical tropes in various traditional already well known scenarios (for those people who keep stating "reverse the genders" please keep in mind that those examples I for one was familiar with and had already established stances on for many DECADES thank you very much!) that I am very aware of and no longer question.

Also, in some of the even Russian films and TV series' I've seen, there were exceptions though, some young women who also did something wrong and possibly criminal to men as well were forgiven even when found out and nobody bothered them ever since. Even if they weren't saying its OK either. Hint it wasn't murder or even s*xual assa*lt gender reversal style but... The series was called "Healing With Love".

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

And Otter, sorry to ask, have you seen any films I've mentioned? :) (Yeah, I always do that around here, lol.)

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

I don't think we have the same taste in films. FYI I lost my taste for serious dramatic films, after seeing too much serious drama in real life, now I want light entertainment!

And I lost my taste for movies about "bad girls" taking regular schlubs for a walk on the wild side a few decades ago, those are all strictly fantasies by and for straight men. In real life, if a "bad girl" takes an interest in an ordinary schlub, it's just as a mark or a patsy, real "bad girls" aren't interested in helping a boring guy discover his inner badness. Those bad-girl fantasies are just a variant on the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, the fantasy of some beautiful young woman who'll come along, fix a man's life, and then go away again when they're no longer needed, instead of wanting him to respond with gratitude or commitment. I've had it with that trope.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

maybe you like women who are very assertive because of your own shyness with ladies? You would like a woman who wouldn't have a problem approaching a guy.

[–] Stratego (31077) 3 years ago

Nothing wrong with fantasizing as long as it stays a fantasy.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Well known and ultra clever former Chilean imdb user lazarillo would have a field day with this type of thread if he was here, quoting movies AND real life, AND also showing how easy it is he finds in having such debates and mentioning typical examples correctly but ALSO calmly with nary a grandmother-like or typical internet forum-oriented panic on his behalf.

Also, anyone seen this 60s film called "Kitten With a Whip" (1964)? Or "The Violent Years" (1956)? And other examples perhaps too?

Hope my Russian cousin understands this well when I was messaging him about it all including "one related subject in movies" in the past 5 years. No offense to him and he is very nice and clever and we do get along. Although he has now ESPECIALLY and even THEN far more pressing priorities at hand.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

You could always pay a girl to beat you up.

[–] chilone (18320) 3 years ago

🤣

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

C’mon! There’s guys that pay good money for this stuff, lol.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

it's not unpopular.

the demand for women who'll do things like that far, far outstrips the supply.

i'm not saying this is something i'm pining for myself. but if you poke around certain sites, you'll find things like that definitely strike a chord with a lot of guys.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

We just need to know your safe word.

[–] ShogunofYonkers (78562) 3 years ago

Whenever I find myself bound with rough hemp rope and getting kicked with spiked heels my safeword is always ‘SHENANIGANS!!!’

It’s just my thing, don’t judge me

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

And I don't have anywhere near that much money haha. :) In fact, money-wise, I am often struggling to make ends meet, but that's a different story.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

You can find a way if you really wanted to.

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

Ask around! I'm sure there's someone who'd be happy to beat you up for free...

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

I volunteer 🙋

[–] Otter (24464) 3 years ago

What a masochist is really paying for, is someone who'll respect the safe word!

You don't get that with overeager volunteers...

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

Curses!

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

I know I know I know, S&M like but at the same time... My mental fantasy was of a kind of different level here.

ALSO, no disrespect to the law but...

Sometimes I wondered, yeah, even if I don't report to police, how bad the matter overall is, and will world forgive maybe her and understand also me or... Civilized world that is...

Sadly, in this day and age, you will NEVER find a perfectly satisfying answer to this question, and yeah, maybe that's how it just is. Oh well...

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

For the right money she’ll play whatever role you want.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Well, still... And I don't even have the "wrong" money if you get what I mean, part time hospital cleaning in UK doesn't pay too much. :)

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

You’ll save enough given the right motivation.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

I will probably save for a new BlackBerry smartphone instead that I will buy next year. :)

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Also, even IF for example I had money and a girl was into S&M and gave me a related err "beating", would that really make me HAPPY and that includes - in this related area as well, in your opinion, besides "want" or "not want", is this something that I need right now? You're welcome in any case and no offense, but is that what you really think?

I mean in OTHER areas, I used to think about hiring a prostitute but my parents (yeah, haha, I know, we don't usually discuss it with our relatives, my mother more accurately) and several other folks talked me out of it and also - something tells me that, for all its advantages and good things, sex in real life is different than how it is portrayed in the movies.

Of course, I could also fantasize in that scenario ala Pretty Woman (1990), Risky Business (1983) etc where I fall in love.

In the main scenario of this thread, I occasionally more wondered about the finale of "40 Days and 40 Nights" (2002) and I remembered all the internet outrage even when I said I wouldn't want it either even in that sense - what with users stating that even in an ironic sense, it could lead to bad and suffering consequences even on its own like that. Fair enough. And yes I have seen all those movies.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

There’s only one way to find out.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Awwwwww, seriously, I'm starting to really like AndyKing1967 moviechat dot org (written that way to avoid creating a link here) user. :) :) :) :) :)

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Even if, in a highly shocking twist of events in the last 24 hours or so, it turns out I have officially and de-facto let him down, however unintentionally.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

There's actually a lot more to this topic than that, but I am afraid to legitimately ask as then I may myself end up being put down, confused also on behalf of someone else in a less than engaging way, message my friends and relatives who at best wouldn't really care too much, not get the answers I am looking for and oh well...

And again, what's interesting is that I didn't even want it either but imagined officially and with attention and focus what it would be like were that to happen to me...

Also, I know I know, in REALITY, there is harshness to such issue beyond basic definition and even law and morality, and yeah I know "victim has NO choice" etc but thing is, I still occasionally wondered about it all in that type of hypothetical scenario and also that from law and dictionary, it can still be it, but I also imagined, well, you know, maybe me not being too hurt in the process or mentally humiliated, and yeah in this case its not me and not a man at all responsible, and yeah still not a dream but then again... Some people took it too literally and bluntly, but I myself also ended up feeling a bit empty and had curiosity unsatisfied. I asked other to calm down and just perhaps judge normally. And my relatives not to talk about different real life topics either. :)

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Compare and contrast all of this with COUNTLESS examples even in modern times of me wondering and being afraid of me MYSELF doing something, ANYTHING, wrong, and also facing inconvenient consequences for it, even very small stuff in life etc... With me as a male that is, and not necessarily s-al stuff or criminal etc. :)

[–] BillHicksFan (10714) 3 years ago

It would much more efficient and focused if you would take your last 20 points, and just post them all into one.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Will think about it. :)

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

For all the MYSTERY such topic "cultivates" in me, a lot of people in life really do have LOT to say about such issue. Although in my family for one, we rarely if ever even talk about even that among other things also.

Also, dare I say, I actually meant not wanting but slightly fantasizing and imagining a female movie villain type of woman in my life like in those examples rather than for instance engaging in S&M activities and all that stuff but deep down inside I know real life its different to movies but in my case its like "Last Action Hero" (1993) albeit with those types of tropes.

[–] BillHicksFan (10714) 3 years ago

It's always the same talk about women. I hate putting you on ignore, but I have to. No offense, you seem like a nice guy, but you flood the boards wit the same topics over and over, usually women.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39849) 3 years ago

And that’s what trolls do.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Actually, that is nowhere NEAR the "only thing" I talk about. And even here its not that simple, with mix of fantasies and movie related tropes. Plus with me being a straight guy who is 35 years old and still living with parents and who also has a sense of shyness and movie complexes, its kinda normal and natural in that sense.

And your choice either way of course but at the same time I wish I wasn't too defied by this or taken too literally and seriously.

After all, if I talked about male characters instead, much difference? Women are also people too, strange as it may sound. Nah its a truistic fact of life. And we all get curious and carried away. In my case it isn't even also how it may come across, some things cultivated in me a sense of mystery in their own ways. No offense to anyone. And not to worry.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

Paradoxically, what I also tried to say here at times, albeit often rather subtly, for my own benefit too is that, and few civilized people here would disagree, even in fictional scenarios, mostly movies, hurting women, including those who did something wrong like that etc, for me is overall rather taboo and unacceptable. And I will not feel heroic in doing so at all. As a general rule and principle. I also tried to say the same to family members. Especially also, well, if they ALSO HAPPEN to be err "attractive".

I am indeed sorry for occasionally bringing it up, but... Sometimes, these matters these days (or years) just tend to cross my mind.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

I refuse to be pigeonholed. I REPEAT - I REFUSE TO BE PIGEONHOLED. :)

[–] AnubisRaydeen (7897) 3 years ago

I pigeonhole you. I pigeonhole you again.

[–] TheMan18 (13184) 3 years ago

To quote an Aimee Mann song (yep, she's a woman too in case anyone doesn't know haha) - "You do. You really do!"