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How do you handle being disrespected by inferiors?

posted 5 years ago by MovieBuff224 (5053)
86 replies | jump to latest

When I say inferiors I mean people who fall short of you when it comes to any of a number of different categories. It could be moral character, you are a kinder and more considerate person than them. It could be socially, you have more personality and are better at interacting with people. It could be intelligence or talent/skill level in any arena.

I am regularly faced with such individuals disrespecting me both directly and indirectly. I would imagine everyone is to some degree whether they realize it or not. It is perhaps the biggest annoyance in my life and I have had great difficulty in learning how to handle it. When I was younger and less confident, I either assumed I deserved it or didn’t realize I was even being disrespected, or I simply didn’t have the balls to stand up for myself. Now I know who I am and what I have to offer, and refuse to stand for it. Sometimes the perpetrator doesn’t even realize they are being disrespectful or that they are in no position to judge/condescend you.

Some examples of disrespectful behavior I have experienced would be:

At my job, a coworker who has nothing over me aside from seniority and perceived wisdom/life experience regularly tries to disparage me and present me as being a subpar worker or inadequate. I am regularly told by customers that they deliberately come when they know I am working because I am faster and better and my job as well as more friendly and personable.

In social situations, a guy who realizes I am better looking and have more personality than him will try to cock block me or belittle me in front of women. This is somewhat expected but no less infuriating, fortunately I am pretty good at embarrassing such twats.

In my personal circle there is one guy who is sort of socially awkward and is only really around because he is the brother of one of the other guys. He regularly tries to take jabs at me in our group chat and tries to turn the other members against me behind my back. This is probably my number one problem regarding this subject right now, as it is extremely disruptive despite the fact that he has little to no influence on the other guys’ opinion of me. I always fight back and put him in his place, yet he persists. It is clearly a power move, but he has no chance of succeeding. Just a pebble in my shoe.

How do you handle this? I almost always use my words to fire back and dismantle their efforts. Often as in the above cases it stems from jealousy or attempts to make themselves look/feel better.

[–] AmeriGirl26 (15113) 5 years ago

I've never had that happen because I'm usually an inferior at the place, and trying to be as easy to work with for everyone as I can to keep my job. I mean, in a job where you're new and not very high up on the ladder, it's important to realize just how expendable you are, and do whatever you can to do your job well, ask for advice/help from the more established people. It's a quick ticket to getting fired if you snark at the older, more established higher-ups and act like you know better than they do, because chances are extremely high that you probably don't.

An exception to the "expendable" rule (and I don't like this any more than anyone else does) is when some asshole who's terrible at their job, only got it because they have a sympathetic relative who is high-up in the workplace, and is protecting them from being fired.

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

a good male friend should never cock block.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Yeah I agree, sadly I have had even my closest friends do this even if it was indirectly

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

Generally, I take my glove off, slap them across the face with it and say "this is a challenge! I demand satisfaction!!"

Then it's pistols at 12 paces.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Robin Hood men in tights?

[–] CKid (3842) 5 years ago

MovieBuff224, I find it fascinating that you think that tim74 was referring to a movie.

I, on the other hand, immediately thought of the most famous duel in American history, namely when Vice President of the United States, Aaron Burr shot and killed the former first ever Secretary of the Treasury, Alexander Hamilton on July 11, 1804.
7/11 was definitely not a lucky day for old Alex.

For those unfamiliar with this tidbit of American history, click here ...
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/burr-slays-hamilton-in-duel

Reading about what happened with Burr in the years following the duel is quite interesting, indeed.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Why do you find it fascinating that I think he was referring to a movie?? That is exactly what he was referring to. What other instance do you recall a man removing his glove and slapping someone across the face with it and challenging him to a duel? The Aaron Burr story most certainly did not include this.

[–] AnubisRaydeen (7897) 5 years ago

How do you handle a dog that jumps in front of your car and barks? (this is not another sneak Voight-Kampff test but it's close)

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 5 years ago

More human than human?

[–] AnubisRaydeen (7897) 5 years ago

The answer is you stop your car and slowly drive around the creature. You are a human being and it is a dog. Your superiority doesn't license you to kill or hate it. It imbues you with a responsibility to care for it. It doesn't see the big picture so you have to handle it with kid gloves and take effort to shield it.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 5 years ago

Sorry, I was quoting the Tyrell Corporation motto, lol.

[–] AnubisRaydeen (7897) 5 years ago

lol

[–] zeesha (1826) 5 years ago

Have you been able to win respect from those who you call inferiors or twats?

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Do you really think I’ve called them inferiors before they disrespected me?

[–] zeesha (1826) 5 years ago

After they disrespected you, do you think your response would gain you some respect or more disrespect?

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

I don’t care if they respect me or not

[–] zeesha (1826) 5 years ago

Your coping method won't make them disappear, would you?

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

[deleted]

[–] sslssg (35194) 5 years ago

I'm too tired to actually say anything here other than you pointed out that that your coworker has seniority, so not exactly inferior.

As for your looks....just remember looks are really subjective. All you have to do is look at any actor or actresses page on here and there will be people saying butt ugly and others saying gorgeous. Looks do not make one superior, and if your personality is what you display here.....well that's really up for debate as well.

How I would handle that is that I don't think that I'm actually better than other people. I might be better at some things, but realize that the other person is better than me at other things. I also have learned not to get jealous. Get therapy. You need it.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Way to ignore everything I said!

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 5 years ago

But surely, you are in turn ignoring everything sslssg said.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

No I read it all, I just didn’t take the time to address them one by one. Looks are only subjective to a point, people have different skill sets but not everyone is equally talented, seniority has zero to do with competency and is a dated, poor metric and holds little weight outside of union jobs in any serious conversation, my personality is not discernible on an internet chat forum.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 5 years ago

"my personality is not discernible on an internet chat forum"

It is, more than you realise, unless you are admitting that this is all a ruse and that you are in fact a mild troll.

[–] sslssg (35194) 5 years ago

Oh buff. What point am I missing this time?

Keeping respect is earned, and its a two way street. If you don't respect others and make them feel inferior, why should anyone respect you?

[–] Gubbio (3893) 5 years ago

Buff is just seeking attention again -- although he'll deny it.

His every post is angry... bitter... complaining. He only succeeds in making himself sound disturbed. He needs help.

This board isn't therapy -- and none of us are Dr. Phil!

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

Wtf are you talking about? I clearly said I only address any level of inferiority after they disrespect me in retaliation. You just assumed I did it up front because it fits your narrative.

[–] sslssg (35194) 5 years ago

No, I've read all your posts and your complaints about said coworker in the past. I read all your complaints about everyone you meet. I said that keeping respect is earned, hence them disrespecting first. If you treat the people in the real world the way you treat people on movie chat, its would not surprise me that you have found yourself in the situations you have described.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

And how exactly do I treat people on movie chat? I only “disrespect” other posters when they disrespect me.

[–] sslssg (35194) 5 years ago

You complain about everything. You have been especially insulting to women. When people disagree with you, which isn't disrespect, you do disrespect them .

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

No, when people insult and belittle me, which is often and which most certainly is disrespect, I disrespect them.

I’m sure there have been instances when I have been short w those who have simply disagreed, but those are in the minority and a result of the constant pileup I experience of posters ganging up and mocking me, dismissing my legitimate grievances as ludicrous and insulting my intelligence.

[–] sslssg (35194) 5 years ago

The trouble is, you don't seem to understand that some of your "legitimate" complaints are of your own making, especially when it comes women and your perceived slights.

[–] AndyKing1967 (39861) 5 years ago

No disrespect, but there’s a lot of disrespecting of disrespecting people that’s just disrespectful.

[–] MovieBuff224 (5053) 5 years ago

🤣

[–] [deleted] 5 years ago

I’m afraid this will be a lifelong struggle for you moviebuff. Everyone will always be jealous of you and your superior good looks. I wouldn’t worry about the rest of it.

[–] moviechatterer (16326) 5 years ago

😂