Zero atmosphere, zero tension, zero point

Remake of the 2002 movie of the same name. The cabin in the woods is more of a luxury apartment in the woods, the photography is far too bright too much of the time, the hillbilly locals and the deputy are cartoon characters, and the whole thing has as much atmosphere as an episode of Dawson's Creek, or The O. C.

Good horror is more than what's shown - it's camera, lighting, and sound, creating a sense of dread, unease, even other-worldliness. This has none of that. It's got the starkness of a true-crime reconstruction show. The characterisations of the leads are paper-thin; the one death that shows any emotional weight soon descends into borderline comedy (and an after-credits scene that makes no sense), and the whole film just leaves a feeling of 'why?'

The girls are pretty. That, in all seriousness, is the best thing I can say. 2/10