100 Things I Learned From The Purge

129. It's so rare for huge mansions to be attacked during the Purge that the company selling the top-of-the-line security systems doesn't know how well they hold up under siege, even though it's apparently common knowledge among those participating in the Purge that all they need to get past is a couple of pick-up trucks and some chains.

130. Go ahead and have a glass or two of wine on the night that all crime is legal -- no need for your wits to be at their sharpest.

131. Make a grand moral statement about the sanctity of human life by refusing to sacrifice a stranger for your family, but render that decision completely moot by leaving him tied to a damn chair when the people hunting him are breaking in. (I know this one has been posted already several times, but it was just so friggin baffling it needed to be posted again.)

135. On the day of the purge, don't try to leave work early in case there is traffic or something unexpected. Try to cut it close.

136. If your crazy neighbor gives you cookies on the eve of The Purge and hints that she basically hates you, don't eat the cookies.

137. Engage your security system SECONDS before the purge begins.

138. If you create a hiding spot several feet wide in the back of your closet, your parents won't notice that the size of your closet has shrunk and that the wall appears to be held together with tape.

139. There is nothing scarier than a guy sporting a mullet and wearing a prep school jacket.

140. When you decide not to kill your murderous neighbors, sit around the kitchen table with your gun laying on the table easily within reach of said murderous neighbors and clasp your hands in front your face so that you can't get to your gun quickly.

141. The Purge only affects one day, and at 7AM everything goes back to normal. Never mind the absolute destruction (arson, looting, property damage, theft, etc) that people would be cleaning up for months nor the severe grief that people would experiencing for even longer. There are no consequences to The Purge. Society is happier. Thank you New Founding Fathers.

145: chains will latch to a flat shielded door that doesent have any connection points

146: drill sergents might want to be a little nicer to their basic trainees, or for that matter, ALL military might want to be a little nicer to their subordinates.

147: gun manufacturers would be worthy stock to invest in

148: its perfectly natural to get jealous on what the salesman bought with the money that you willingly paid him. and then want him dead.

149: it would be a good idea to let your children know that its states in your will that if you die during the purge, then they will inherit NOTHING.

150: there is no such thing as a "perfect" security system.

151: purge night is very convienent for anyone who is suicidal

161. They still make racist movies

162. You're the best security system seller yet you have no security for your own except 2 revolvers one shotgun

163. On the Purge day, there will be no black men fighting for their own people.

164. The best security system seller doesn't have any idea who is entering his house. (The chick's boyfriend)

165. A black man who was tortured by a white family will voluntarily save them.


"Friends are dangerous things" ~ John Cavil

o) Cersei Lannister really loves her wine, and I mean REALLY.
o) Maybe that boat with a car garage would have been a wise purchase for Purge night, than expanding your house.
o) This film was pitched to Ethan Hawke under the name, Purge Before Sunrise.

 ~love is all we need~ 

172) When a bum is in your home all of a sudden, be carefull, he has a military background

173) They should have hired Clint Eastwood to support the family.

174) Blow up the homes of the neighbors next year.

---
Lincoln Lee: I lost a partner.
Peter Bishop: I lost a universe!

176) Hope that your birthday isn't on the day of the Purge. That would make for a poor birthday.

Don't put an addition on your house, that really pisses off your neighbours.