MovieChat Forums > Chernobyl Diaries (2012) Discussion > Things You Learned From Watching Chernob...

Things You Learned From Watching Chernobyl Diaries


I finally got to see this on blu-ray after my local cinema refused to show it!

1) When going on an "Extreme Tour", always let someone know where you're going and that if they don't hear back from you by a certain time, to call the police, army etc to come looking for you - just in case the tour guide "works alone"

2) When an armed guard tells you not to go into an area due to "maintenance", there is probably a very good reason not to go there that he hasn't told you about

3) For some reason there is only four hours of daylight in Pripyat, so it's probably best to take the journey there in the dark, arriving at sunrise, that gives you two hours to look around, and another two to walk back to the checkpoint in case the vehicle breaks down.

4) Never go swimming in, or walk across a rotting bridge over a lake or river which a group of starving German Shepherd dogs are keeping well clear of, as there's probably something nasty in there that bites!

5) Geiger counters normally explode when the radiation levels become too high, so if yours explodes, you're *beep*

6) When you are sitting inside a vehicle in a potentially hostile area during the night, it's best not to keep the light on until the battery runs completely flat - see Jaws for additional proof.

7) When you are being chased through some old building by hostile forces, by all means close the doors behind you to slow them down, but before you do, make sure you are the right side of them!

8) In some countries, the special forces are trained to abandon defenceless people in hostile areas that are under their protection, and to go on the offensive.

9) If you need to take a rest in an abandoned town at night, never sit at the top of a staircase that leads to a subway.

10) Mannequins from clothes shops can be very useful to cause distrations at night.

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11) If you have a beautiful girlfriend you want to propose to, don't do it in any of the romantic countries you've been to like France and Germany. Wait til you get to Moscow!

12) If your tour guide grabs his gun and tells you all to stay in the van while he leaves, by all means kiss your girlfriend and follow him.

13) Mutant zombie people are really handy with dismantling van cables.

14) Aspiring photojournalists carry their expensive cameras very loosely in their hands.

15) Pictures in front of a former nuclear plant are very romantic.



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16)One of the side effects of radiation sickness is to want to kill everyone than anywhere near you.

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17) when you find that a photo you have taken shows something hostile in your location. Don't tell anyone!

18) When you have no idea how to load a pistol and then fire 3 shots through a door, how do you suddenly hold it in a trained manor keeping your finger outside the trigger guard?

19) Anolouge handheld walkie talkies give off the digital walkie talkie (networked) signal sending tone and work with perfect audio several miles apart.

20) when sitting at night in a van with hostile forces outside, keep the lights on so its harder for you to see out and easier for them to find you and see inside!

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21. when replacing cabels broken by mutent people, it will somehow fix your dead battery problem too.

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In all fairness, he (Michael ?) said with a working cable, they could run-start the van, thus indeed fixing the dead battery problem.


When I'm gone I would like something to be named after me. A psychiatric disorder, for example.

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8) In some countries, the special forces are trained to abandon defenceless people in hostile areas that are under their protection, and to go on the offensive.

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Yuri was taking the fight to them, you gotta respect that.


When I'm gone I would like something to be named after me. A psychiatric disorder, for example.

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It's a sarcastic post...please don't ruin it by being the moron that doesn't understand that. Are you new to IMDB?

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22 ) If a bear is scared, you should be too.

23 ) Don't mouth off to the ex-special forces guy who is probably your best hope vs. just about anything.

24 ) If Eastern European doctors ask you if anyone knows where you are, tell them lots of people know where you are and you are interested in making a monetary donation to their research.

25 ) Mutants are very self-conscious of their appearance, don't scream and run. It's rude.

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26) If your fellow guards are killed by mutants in a huge shoot out, just forget it and let tourists in anyway until the next time it happens.

27) Very high levels of radiation don't kill you, they just make you an extremely stealthy mutant.

28) Chernobyl mutants are so shy you will never ever see them clearly, even in a fictional film about them, for more than a second.

29) US people will blame their brother for a trip that goes bad, even though they completely agreed to it.

30) Australian hippies get EVERYWHERE.

31) Nature documentaries about the abandoned Chernobyl sites are more fascinating and eerie than horror films.

32) A day in Pripyat, outside winter, lasts about 2 hours.

33) It's best to stay overnight in a radioactive zone you are told is safe for a few hours, rather than simply walk back the way you came.

34) Radiation mutants will subtly vandalise the electrics of your vehicle, rather than just attack you. Then they will just attack you anyway...

35) The Ukraine knows Chernobyl is full of killer mutants but likes to keep some in cells and pretend to 'guard' it, occasionally sending in soldiers to be killed.

36) Russian tour guides claiming to be 'Special Forces' military trained are the easiest to kill.

37) If you miraculously survive the mutants and radiation due to being the most sympathetic character, the Ukraine authorities will simply and sadistically put you in a cell full of cannibal mutants after pretending to save you.

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37) these "found footage" movies suck ass

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37) these "found footage" movies suck ass


I agree. 99.9% of those found footage movies are bad. just one problem with your comment. Chernobyl Diaries isn't a found footage movie. not sure what made you think it was.

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I, too, thought Chernobyl Diaries was a 'found footage' flick, at least initially, since it was being shown on SyFy and I was multitasking. The beginning reminded me a bit of Cloverfield, as the young characters were carousing and talking about photography and an engagement to marry. When I looked up, I was more surprised to find that CD wasn't centered on found footage.


Objection, your Honor. You can't preface your second point with first of all.

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Found footage and poorly shot are 2 different things, but if you only saw the previews , I guess it looks like it may be a dumb found footage flick

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Actually #30 is true: you'll find Aussies ANYWHERE.
Think you found a remote, undiscovered, exotic place ---- chances are you'll run into an Aussie who discovered it!

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24 ) If Eastern European doctors ask you if anyone knows where you are, tell them lots of people know where you are and you are interested in making a monetary donation to their research.

Exactly! I'm telling EVERYONE where I go, and if I'm about to go on some 'extreme tour' I'm going to make damn sure everyone knows about it!




Goblin Cannonball: I hit something! Yes?!? No?!?

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Just do a facebook check in, problem solved

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Brilliant. Inspires a new app. Send a search party here if I don't post an update within 8 hours.

  
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Just make a big camp fire...all problem solved.

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When the russian army dudes are yelling at you with guns pointing at your face... keep walking towards them.





You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now its my turn - Frank White

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Especially when you speak the language and know they are telling you to stop.



Goblin Cannonball: I hit something! Yes?!? No?!?

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Not Russians, Ukrainians.

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You will know exactly what cable you need to fix a vehicle and where it is located, even if you have no previous vehicle-fixing experience

If you come across an abandoned ferris wheel, you should probably have a go on it - it may be the last fun you have

I am ANYTHING but a pugnacious upstart

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When you are being yelled at to stand still/identify yourself etc. in Russian by armed guards whatever you do don't reply to them in Russian..even though you speak the language fluently. Continue to advance calling out in English.

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- When you have set plans to go to Moscow, it is a ok to change them within a minute to go to Chernobyl

- When all else fails, blame your brother for bringing you to Chernobyl, though you willingly came

- When bored, flaunt your boobs

- It's ok to assume the two people who randomlly showed up to go on the trip with you can be great pals

- There is always another way when denied access to deserted towns by soldiers

- When in the nuclear reactors, wait until someone else dies to finally start running, even though you're already being chased

- Bears like to take walks through buildings



The K.I.N.D. club.
Growing at least one more member each day :D

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"When you are being yelled at to stand still/identify yourself etc.
in Russian by armed guards whatever you do don't reply to them in
Russian..even though you speak the language fluently. Continue to
advance calling out in English."

They were not yelling in RUSSIAN ......... they were yelling in UKRAINIAN ..... A different Slavic language.

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There's plenty to learn:

1. If you get hungry while touring Pripyat, your tour guide will have beef jerky

2. Bring plenty of bottled water

3. Have a First Aid kit in the event you get attacked by a group of radioactivly mutated people.

4. Make sure you have a plan to get out of Pripyat incase your tour van gets tampered with.

5. Bring a reliable source of communication in the event of a break-down or emergency.

6. Do not trust a tour guide that "works alone". Probably not an ace idea .

7. Turn off tour van lights to conserve batter life in the event of a break-down.

8. Become good friends with fellow joining tourists and link up with them shall you get lucky enough to escape Pripyat.

9. There will never be an extra charge for a radioactive bear attack. Good to know.

10. Do not trust Uri's secret passage into Pripyat, there's a reason it's secret.

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- Scream loud like a madman when your brother gets snatched by mutants....

And now down to a real serious piece of advice:

- After getting stranded in a radioactive town overnight, GET OUT of their by any means possible as soon as the sun goes up!

I'm gonna eat your brains to gain your knowledge!!!

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- and never under any circumstances use your cellphone for anything but taking pictures.

on a side note, cellphones are probably a horror movie's worse nightmare lol

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One thing I learned by watching this movie? That there's 90 minutes and $4.99(on Demand) that I'll never get back.

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Lol maybe that should be number one.

The K.I.N.D. club.
Growing at least one more member each day :D

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cellphones are probably a horror movie's worse nightmare
Not necessarily. Cellphones are not known for their battery life. Using GPS and video will burn battery life quickly. And no chargers need to be brought along if the initial outing was supposed to be short. They could also get lost in an area that doesn't have electricity available. Plenty of ways to ignore a cellphone.

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When people repeatably asks, no, begs you to stop shouting chris.. you should TOTALLY shout Chris

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-You should always name the person you are referring to. Yelling: "where is he?" is not enough. Always yell "where is Chris?".

-If you have a hot girlfriend with huge balloons be persuaded to do something dangerous like you have nothing to live for.

-In times of extreme danger and you see a creepy little kid, forget all of your problems and take the time and effort to communicate with that kid, nothing else matters.

-If you go to a dangerous place make sure you are driving the crappiest bus possible.

That said, I had a blast reading this thread. The movie is ok. The acting and the screenplay is pretty bad, but could have been worse.

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