So let me get this straight... - Teen Mom (2009) Discussion

[–] Jessical1992 8 years ago

I feel this same way too. They agree to take a child from a young couple and now they're just going to cut them off. What harm will it be to nova to see her biological parents and sister for one day out of the year?! It's sad.

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[–] starduss_ala 8 years ago

I know people like to say without cate and ty they'd have no baby. But Cate and Ty CHOSE to give her up. In fact theyre lucky they have gotten a chance to see Carly as many times as they have because they aren't entitled to anything. They should be happy because with a lot of adoptions, you never see that kid ever again. I actually think they should be grateful. B&T have been extremely generous. Carly is not there's. Cate and Tyler have made their bed,

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[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Franklymydear728 8 years ago

Catelynn carried Carly for nine months. She didn't want to give her up, but was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was an open adoption from day 1. They're not alone robbing Nova, but Carly too. Petty and pathetic.

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[–] starduss_ala 8 years ago

Catelynn carried Carly for nine months. She didn't want to give her up, but was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Cate chose a man over her child. She chose Tyler over the baby because of his ridiculous threat. What kind of a man even says something like that to mother of his own child. And fast forward to the future and Tyler, the one who made Cate choose, feels the most entitled to Carly.

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[–] itsmoviesbitch 8 years ago

My issue with Brandon & Theresa is if you no longer want the visits just tell Catelynn that. For Catelynn to make it seem as if Theresa is ignoring her calls makes Theresa look petty as hell. Even though Tyler is always the one to have issues with the stipulations, Catelynn always seems to understand where Brandon and Theresa are coming from and has no problem keeping them happy for the sake of being able to keep in contact with Carly. Like Catelynn said just let her know.

Made You Look

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[–] TheCheetahPeach 8 years ago

What?! Nothing on the show said they won't be seeing Carly anymore. All that was said was cate tried talking to them about a visit but she didn't really get an answer back yet and what was in their agreement.

"Sometimes what I type doesn't make any sense because of the iPad."— By Me.

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[–] jbllshonea 8 years ago

I feel bad for Tyler and Catelynn. Their contract wouldn't have so many loopholes if they had had any of their parents on their side. Where was Tyler's mom during all of this? They were two children without any thoughts to what their future wishes might be. They signed what they were told they needed to sign in order to do what they felt was best for their child.

They may not be the kind of people Brandon and Teresa want in their daughter's life on a daily basis, but a once a year supervised visit is not going to hurt. And, they are cheating Carly out of a relationship with a biological sibling. My cousin was placed for adoption and when she found us at 18 she was so happy to meet her brothers and compare features and personality traits. She said it made her feel not so alone.

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[–] cinderpop123 8 years ago

That's what I was wondering too. Caitlin and Tyler were looking over that adoption contract like they'd never laid eyes on it.

Tyler and his mom seem close...was she not there with them when they signed the contract? Did the adoption agency take advantage of two naive 16 year olds?

The whole situation is so messed up.

And Caitlin and Tyler automatically think that at 18 Carly is going to want to be in their lives...that might not be the case...

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[–] TheCheetahPeach 8 years ago

my guess is that they probably didn't remember what was in the contract from 8 years ago and every little detail that was talked about.

"Sometimes what I type doesn't make any sense because of the iPad."— By Me.

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[–] Lulu10 8 years ago

I am an adoptive parent with two kids, both now grown. Both of them were in OPEN ADOPTIONS with visitation from birth.

Both of my kids began rebelling against wanting to visit their birth families when they were about 7 or 8.

Neither of them have much contact, if any, with their birth parents now. My daughter does visit with her bio-sister but she did not do that until she was about 20.

It is hard for people to understand unless they are raising a child. But visiting with the birth parents is often kind of awkward, uncomfortable and difficult for a young child. My kids hated it. They just wanted to be 'normal' and have a mom and dad and a sibling like everyone else. Meeting with birth families can be very intense and there is a lot of underlying pain and grief that the children pick up on and don't know how to deal with at the time.

I am very glad we had the open adoptions because both our kids KNEW their bio parents and their ancestry and their back story. But as children, they did not get that hung up on Biology and DNA and all that. My kids loved their father that was there every day for them, with all their hearts. So it was weird to meet their bio fathers and have people saying he was their 'father.' I remember my 4 yr old girl shaking her head and saying 'no he's not.'

So please don't start hating on the adoptive parents and assume that THEY are the ones that don't want the visits to happen. My son outright REFUSED to go and see his bio mom anymore when he was only about 6 or so. He hated going to meet with her even through we tried to go to fun places that he loved. He just inexplicably hated being around her. And he is now 28 and married with a child. She has sent his FB messages many times over the years and he wants no contact. His wife messages back and had polite conversations with her. But my son says she is not his mother and he does not feel any motherly love connection with her so he would rather keep his distance. I think an adoptee should be able to make that choice if they would like to.

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[–] H-Sq 8 years ago

Well said, lulu.

No on can know the family dynamics that goes on in private homes nor should they. Even B & T's request to not discuss Carly for the sake of her privacy has been ignored. I think they've been understanding to a point and you just have to respect parents' decisions for their kid as well as the kid's choices too. End of.

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[–] Katiedidd 8 years ago

Thank you for sharing. In Carly's case, maybe she will want more contact with those she's related to biologically someday. Maybe she won't.

I think there are a lot of details we don't know regarding Brandon and Theresa's family, so it seems unfair to think they should be doing something differently. They are Carly's parents, after all. Those wanting to give Catelynn and Tyler more power than they deserve doesn't make sense to me either.

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[–] Melancholy11 8 years ago

Whatever Brandon and Theresa's reasons, they must watch the show. At the very least out of curiosity. When they can see how Catelynn worships Carly and wants to see her - they should be ashamed for not allowing Tyler And Catelynn see her. Even if Carly says she doesn't want to from a rebellious streak, they should put Carly and Tyler's feelings first.

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[–] Blanche_Elizabeth_Devereaux 8 years ago

Disagree. As Carly's parents, they are to put CARLY first and always do what is right and best FOR HER. Catelynn and Tyler should never be put before their own child.

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[–] alzanden-1 8 years ago

You must not have children if you think they should put Cate and Tyler's feelings ahead of their own child.

Cate and Tyler did not "donate" their kid to a bearen couple out of the goodness of their hearts. They gave her up, they are not her parents. They are not owed anything.

Carly is now at an age where she is aware of things and has a voice. If she doesn't want to see them, she shouldn't be forced to. And to those saying they are denying her visitation with her bio sister....no, Carly has a sibling that she lives with. If it works out for everyone it would be nice if she and Nova could have a relationship one day but it was C and T's choice to have another child. Nova has absolutely nothing to do with the adoption and B and T are under no obligation to force their daughter to have a r elation ship with anyone she/they don't want to.

Let's not forget cate and Tyler continue to ignore b and T's rules and wishes.

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[–] babz12 8 years ago

I hope they get recognized on the street and get told EXACTLY what type of people they are; the typical hypocritical Christian stage parents.

Wow, that's messed up. They HAVE had to deal with C&T's psycho fans, which is probably the main reason why they want to distance themselves and Carly from the show (thus C&T since they're on the show). It's about their child's safety (yes Carly is THEIR child). You're literally proving why B&T want to run themselves and their family far from MTV/C&T. Once the show ends and the fans move on to other things, I'm sure they'll let C&T have more normal visitations again. If people of the internet weren't so freakin' volatile and downright scary, this never would've happened. Nothing is B&T's fault, it's literally you and people like you that caused things to become how they currently are.

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[–] filmgrad-09746 8 years ago

Well I think it's partly the publicity surrounding the show/scary fan interactions etc., but also Catelynn and Tyler themselves and how they've handled things in the past.

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[–] babz12 8 years ago

Yes, but I think the way C&T have been handling things and sharing this stuff along with their feelings, amps the fans up even more. I also think C&T (particularly Tyler) have been feeding off of their fans for so long, that it very much influenced/influences how they've handled things in the past and present. If social media didn't exist or the show didn't exist (or was done awhile ago), I think they'd all have a much better relationship.

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[–] !!!deleted!!! (28128673) 8 years ago

We're only seeing one side of this situation.

Brandon and Theresa are Carly's parents. They have to decide what is in her best interest. Carly is now in school. Her classmates may be asking her upsetting questions. The wedding may have been very confusing for Carly. Carly is her parents number one priority, not Catelynn and Tyler, and that's as it should be.

I'm a parent who adopted 3 children, internationally. I don't know who my daughters' biological parents are. There are advantages and disadvantages to this situation. We don't have access to medical histories, and I'm unable to thank these parents for giving us the most precious gifts ever. On the other hand, I've never had to worry about Chinese and Guatemalan parents expecting anything from us. We certainly never have to worry about our daughters ending up on the cover of People Magazine as Carly did as a toddler.

I can't imagine how difficult this situation is for Brandon and Theresa. They may never have expected this show to last so long, that their child would be discussed on national television for so long. My heart goes out to them. Their privacy has been compromised by a TV show.

I'm very, very sad for Catelynn and Tyler as well, but their expectations are not the responsibility of Carly's legal parents.

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[–] babz12 8 years ago

 Agreed!

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[–] j_marie123 8 years ago

I have a feeling that C&T's fan are probably giving B&T a hard time about all this and they fear for themselves and for Carly. I get they signed up for this when they chose to be a part of 16 and pregnant, but they probably never would have thought C&T would still be on a show, airing all this stuff.

If I adopted a child and their biological parents were on tv smoking pot, not doing anything with their lives and acting the way they do, I would also want to distance my family and child from them. I wouldn't want to be associated with that behavior and I would want my child to live the best life possible and that may mean cutting off ties with them.

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[–] blonde_angel2008 8 years ago

I see where you're coming from, but just a question out of curiosity. If the situation was different, and you did know who your children's biological parents were would you be willing to let them have one visit a year? That is, if you had set it up as an open adoption like Cate and Ty did.

I can see where it could become confusing or even difficult for Carly, but like you said, we only know half of the story. She's only what, 7? Since they aren't showing any identifying features of Carly on the show (which I totally agree with) I don't see anyone recognizing her from being the kid from Teen Mom who was adopted, especially classmates.

I totally get why Brandon and Teresa have asked them not to discuss Carly on the show, and I think they have every right to do so. I'm very protective about people posting pictures / information about my children and I don't have to deal with the media the way they do. But having one visit a year with Cate and Ty seems pretty harmless if they keep the cameras out of it and make it clear there should be no pictures posted under any circumstances. It just seems odd to discontinue their relationship after 7 years of visits.

I kind of wonder what will happen once Carly turns 18 and has the freedom to reach out to Cate and Ty if she wishes. Will she want to, since she knows she has a biological sister (and potentially other siblings in the future?) and knowing how much Cate and Ty care about her (in their own weird obsessive way). If she does reach out, how will Brandon and Teresa react, would they be upset that they can't stop her, or would they be supportive.

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[–] !!!deleted!!! (28128673) 8 years ago

If I had agreed to a different type of adoption - one that operated on visits at the request of the biological parents and discretion of the legal parents - I would assess the situation constantly. If it were in the best interests of the child, then, yes, I would agree to a yearly visit. If I felt that there were factors that mitigated that best interest, I would opt to protect my child.

Carly has already been splashed across the internet, regardless of whether Brandon and Theresa did or did not give consent. In my opinion, this little girl has been over-exposed and may be subjected to unwelcome curiosity for years to come.

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[–] mbox20fan2000 8 years ago

I wonder if this has anything to do with Butch approaching Carly at the wedding when he wasn't supposed to. I wouldn't want my kid around that either.

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[–] Heygirl215 8 years ago

Butch was dead wrong for that. Carly has no idea who that man was and you could see her tense up a bit. Bad enough hundreds of guests were there and cameras, but then this tall man approaches you. Not okay, and Id had been pissed if I were Brandon and Theresa. Cate and Ty are downright obsessed with Carly, for all we know they could have been texting and calling them all of the time about Carly. They only are supposed to get a yearly visit and periodic photos and updates, not text me all of the time all times of the day about Carly like we are related to each other. Tyler was even arrogant enough to say that before he allows himself to be silenced, he will risk not seeing Carly anymore. That's pretty bold to say. Pretty sure that upset them too. Tyler, in particular just doesn't care, at least Cate matured and started to realize she can't say and do certain things because it's not her place. It's sad because the reality is hitting home. Dawn shouldn't have been revisiting the terms with them at least once a year, preferably before the yearly visits come up. They looked like that was the first time they were told they agreed to that. I hope they heal from this as a family and come to grips with the decision they made because at this point they are still circling the drain while Carly and her parents are happily living their lives.

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[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Stirchley 8 years ago

So you want them to be harassed on the street? What would that achieve?

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