1) People go missing in a parking garage and the London police don't bother to investigate?
2) An obese mentally handicap man that has health problems can easily capture ppl.
3) Crying only makes Martin's daddy harder - wrong on so many levels
You could, and probably will, win a rabbit
Prof.
5) All you have to do is touch someone on the head with a crowbar and they knock out instantly.
share6. Duct tape will bind you for LIFE!
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http://www.thewrongtree.com
@thewrongtree
7) Laxatives work better (and faster!) if you inject them into your buttocks than if you ingest them.
shareLaxatives work better (and faster!) if you inject them into your buttocks than if you ingest them.
"For the millionth time, he injected it into mouths."
In that case the woman at the end must have had HER mouth on HER butt.
ALL pills work faster if taken in the rectum, because you have more capillaries in your rectum than you do in your mouth, & the effect is almost instantaneous. however, it is dangerous to take pills this way unless they are sublingual (meant to be dissolved) medications. the danger of taking non-sublingual medications in your rectum, is it could seriously damage your liver.
shareIt was an oral suspension injected in the muscle of the bum - i.e intramuscular injection. But yeah you can do most pills as a suppository and the absorption will be faster, even some powders (hello cocaine and straw!)
share9. Don't play your damn music so loud, and you won't end up stapled to some stranger's anus.
10. Parking lot attendant is like the coolest job ever.
11. Swing from the hips.
12. Shake the inhaler thoroughly.
13. Ten out of twelve ain't so bad.
14. Maybe be a little more selective in picking your auditions.
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You should know this: http://www.imdb.com/board/bd0000024/nest/158601447
15. To meet your favorite celebrity, all you need is a cell phone, a flimsy excuse about a Quentin Tarantino movie, and a dream.
Every time you read this signature, an orphaned puppy gets fed into a meat grinder.
16. If someone shoves a Centipede in your ass, it's okay
www.netfireflies.com
= The Nemesis =
17. If you're pregnant, you apparently have no use of your arms.
share18. If It's Raining you can't find any thing to break the windows of a car
www.netfireflies.com
= The Nemesis =
19. You do not have to be able to speak to get a job in a parking garage.
20. You have simultaneously completed rape and a gang bang if you have sex with the end of a human centipede
21. It's best to wait a while and suffer abuse first before detaching yourself from the group to start your own centipede
22. For a mentally disabled, short-sighted, child-brained fella, Martin is one hell of a marksman
23. Martin will kill the sh!t out of you if you rip up his book
24. Doctors look like hippie throwbacks, take their glasses on and off about 60 times in one session, have the shortest visits ever - touch patients they KNOW have been sexually abused on the knee, and then try to therapise them after watching them murder someone with a casual line like "so...... this is where you work?"
25. If someone's coughing their man-tits off, dont ask if they're ok.... just warble about your debut film without being asked (as if brand new actresses on their first film could "demand" so much anyway)......
26. .....and don't be remotely surprised or confused by being led to an audition in a warehouse by a mute in a Transit with a carrier bag
27. This film had the worst editing ever. One minute a bloke's shouting about signing the "f%£king lease" - next minute he's on the floor dead. WTF happened?!
28. When Martin does surgery, he does it nekkid
28. Minimal music works surprisingly well
29. The only bits of this film that actually made me gag were the hammer-teeth and Martin's nakedness
30. Cutting skin off someone's a$$ will kill them. No questions asked.
31. Martin can stop crying in 2 seconds flat
32. The laxative needle was inserted nowhere NEAR their mouths
33. Martin's joyful reactions to the sh!tting was worse to watch then the sh!tting itself
34. Martin wont notice a screeching pregnant woman leaping up and running away till she's out the door...... and her waters will break like the lift from 'The Shining' stopped off in her vagina
35. After being raped by barbed wire and having your mouth shat into, that woman was awfully fussy about getting a clean merciful shot to the head
36. The centipede parts will only figure out to pull their mouths away as hard as possible AFTER the worst bit of their ordeal. 'Cos before they had their faces defacated into...... well, it wasn't so bad......
37. A swift belt to the nads is a guaranteed winner (but won't necessarily save you)
38. Despite going through hell, being force-fed, anally-stapled and having her TONGUE ripped out, "Miss Yennie" can still find the time to make a little "eurgh" noise and faff about as she picks up a centipede
39. Martin can still walk around with bruised balls and a centipede inside him
40. After watching your mum attempt to kill you in bed - just casually stroll over and get in said bed...... instead of finishing her task she will just slit her wrists, destroy your book, and wander off
41. Martin's mum can't act for sh!t
42. Someone in this world actually WANTS to have sex with Martin (and said person is supposedly a mentally stable man in a respected profession)
43. When a bloke in a garage shoots you in the leg and catches up to you on the stairs - just mace him and then scream in his face relentlessly..... don't try and, y'know, escape or anything
44. It was ALL A DREAM!!!
"A day without laughter is a day wasted" - Charlie Chaplin
45. If you're sharing this movie over network just press shift+delete before you get credit for being a mentally sick man.
www.netfireflies.com
= The Nemesis =
[deleted]
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[deleted]
[deleted]
I only learned one thing from human centipede... an important life lesson... Never go ass to mouth.
shareLOLZZZZ
www.netfireflies.com
= The Nemesis =
- I been buying the wrong duct tape as the Martin uses has strength of steel that no one can escape.
- There was an actual moment in the actors life when they read a script and required them to stick their face in another actors ass and said. Hey I can do this. I mean I hope they all required showers, healthy diet and enamas. LOL
- Apparently you can't rock yourself over when you are tied down on your stomach. I just tried and for some reason I can.
Chaos Alex
http://www.chaostheoryband.com/
48) If you scratched my cd there's gonna be a *beep* war
49) If you *beep* your pants during the night don't bother to change it
50) A socially retarded midget's mom bitten by a centipede sounds like a crying baby
51) Noisy neighbours always walk around without a shirt
52) A retarded social misfit dwarf gets really excited by the sight of a japanese man taking a crap in a woman's mouth. And celebrates this by jumping up and down holding a crowbar above his head.
53) Socially retarded midgets always sweat like crazy
54) You can do just about anything in a parking garage. No one will hear see or care about what is going on down there.
55) Why would you not demand an hour long massage session in your contract?
56) People can easily survive a few days in a presumably cold room lying naked bound on the floor shot up sometimes bleeding heavily and only bangaged with some duct-tape and hit in the head with a crowbar.
57) Household items are ideal for complex surgery
58) The Human Centipede 2 is not really a movie for the whole family to enjoy
59) You have to brush the hairs of your newly constructed human centipede before you feed it
60) Making pooping sounds with your mouth is good for digestion
61) Apparently you can find 11 actors who are crazy enough to stand half naked ass to mouth to each other for multiple days of shooting. And one other with someone just tape to their ass.
62) You always leave the key in your mercedes in front of your "rented" building
63) Mentally challenged folks are ok to handle/own guns.
64) When someone cuts into your skin even if you're only semi conscious and not bound by super duct tape, it is only courtesy to lie still and cry and not put up a fight.
65) Nobody - not even your family or friends - comes looking for you when you go missing in London.
66) When your noisy rowdy neighbour comes to your door, it's ok to let him in to shout abuse at you while you sit back down at your dinner table.
67) It is 100% legit if a mentally challenged man with zero social skills offers you a ride in his truck as long as he works for Tarantino.
68) Victims will willingly lie on their bellies and not even try to flip themselves over when you put them on their bellies with their hands behind their backs. (People! There're 12 of you and 1 of him asthmatic midget who uses a crowbar like a fairy wand! Numbers!! Do the math!!!)
69) Abusive mothers keep their dressing tables in their sons' rooms, while never removing hair rollers from their hair or changing out of their pjs.
70) You can suffer horrific sexual abuse for years, live with a b!tch-a$$ mother who blames you and tries to kill you every 5 minutes and a frequently noisy neighbour - but only after a SCRAAPBOOK gets ripped up will you flip and kill someone
71) Duct tape is super-indestructable, and no amount of sweat or force will loosen it
72) 12 people in captivity (one of whom gets the mouth-tape off to say the most wooden line in cinematic history) won't even have the simple foresight to work together and get the hell out
"A day without laughter is a day wasted" - Charlie Chaplin
73. Never trust a doctor with a beard.
74. Try not hiding porn under your bed.
YES ! FEEEEED HER !
75. The Crazy Doctor's death was an exact copy of Trevor's Death in Scream 4!!
76. was it real, was it a dream?
SCREAM 4 DOCTOR WHO
Nobody driving in and out of the parking garage will notice or hear a toddler crying.
share77. He's gonna connect us ass to mouth
Machete don't text
78. If your husband is a *beep* up child molester that turns your son into a mass murdering psycho *beep* IT'S ALL YOUR SON'S FAULT
share79. If you like a movie you can actually make a sequel of it all by yourself.
www.netfireflies.com
= The Nemesis =
75.the most vile torture can be trivial,if the acting is poor enough.
76.if the bbfc bans your film no one will notice if you have a plastic dildo as a penis.
83. If you cant find sandpaper barbed wire will do
84. Stop them tears, it only makes daddys willy harder
85. Roshambo FTW!
86. youd think he would be happier with 2 human centipedes?
87. Hollywood agents never get suspicious if you never answer your phone and send over their star client to London anyway.
88. oh babes...theres a midget having a wank in there.
89. Duct tape...Best invention ever?
90. If your contact states its a two movie deal make sure youre the head of the centipede in the second one
91. Soup or chilli...your choice
92. *beep* I HAVE TO *beep*
[deleted]
63) Wrapping your penis in barbed wire or sandpaper before wanking or *beep* will be pleasureable, but a hit to the sack will render you unable to stop someone shoving a centipede up your ass.
64) If you see a midget wanking, you must be drunk.
dude, just pick your best two or three. most of those are sort of lame. we're living in a society, bro.
share96. You made a brilliant horror movie and it ends up with 4.2 score on IMDB.
share96: I second that!
97 - midgets with impaired vision who get pepper spray in their eyes can see good enough to drive a couple of minutes later
98 - Stapling skin to skin is really hard to seperate
99 - after giving birth and your baby is lying on the floor of your getaway car while the killer is unable to get in, its better to squish its head pushing the gas pedal then to quickly push it half a foot to the side and then press the pedal
Always some *beep* douche who starts threads like this for movies. Man fug off ya stupid troll.
share101. Midgets like seeing poop. But they don't like smelling poop.
There's gonna be one speed... mine. If you can't keep up, don't step up. You'll just die
102. If you ever find yourself about to get into a human centipede, call "shotgun".
103. Even in dreams, somebody always gets away.
104. By "Full Sequence", Six meant "Full poo-in-the-face/on-the-camera Sequence".
105. There's always at least one reviewer on IMDB willing to give absolute *beep* a positive review.