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Taudarian's "Prometheus, the movie they say make's sense" repost repost

posted 8 years ago by sinister_prog
81 replies | jump to latest

Because the fangirlies can't get enough of it...

Part 1

"Ten million years ago (according to Ridley) on a planet that may not be earth (despite Ridley also saying it was ten million years ago) an alien stood at the lip of a waterfall and ingested gloop which killed him. This (according to Ridley) is an engineer seeding life (despite life already being there and despite there being much less nasty ways of accomplishing spreading DNA around). But hey, religion, because this is a movie about religion and if you want people doing crazy stupid things for no good reason then religion is by far the best way for them to rationalise their stupid actions.

Anyway this event, which may have happened on another planet, despite it clearly intended to be this planet 10 million years ago, produced us. (Trumpets please!) Except if you know anything about evolution then this explanation is clearly bunk, and from here on in you only know it will get worse.

So, the aliens continued to visit and interact with ancient civilisations because obviously we need aliens as an explanation to tell us how to pile rocks into pointy shapes, despite us knowing that's the only tall stable structure you can build if your civilisation hasn't invented mortar.

Whatever, the aliens apparently interacted with us, such that we believed them gods and they left us lots of star maps. Except they didn't draw these themselves with lasers or anything, creating perfectly accurate maps, no, they let primitive man finger daub and chisel these bloody maps everywhere. That they did this is explained later by Holloway and Shaw who we're introduced to on the Isle of Skye who discover yet another star map and this somehow convinces them more concretely than the previous half dozen they already know about, that our gods were aliens.

So anyway, some point between the Isle of Skye and the next scene, Holloway and Shaw meet Peter Wayland who is obsessed with not dying and who pays out a trillion dollars to toddle off into space based on finger daubings 35,000 years out of date on a planet where the stars undergo precession and not only that, move. He builds the Prometheus, because having done one spaceship which carried a foreboding name, Ridley Scott just can't help doing it again.

Anyway, the Prometheus we see in the next shot, merrily blasting it's way through the stars, it's engines kicking out loads of noise which you can't actually hear in space. Then we cut to the inside, to see androidDavid wandering about. There is gravity on the ship. At some point in the future we have mastered gravity, meaning we don't actually need the large engines, but whatever.

David beams messages to the Engineers, invades peoples dreams just to let you know who the religious one is on board and talks to Weyland who is faking his own death for reasons which are never offered. The crew wake up as they approach LV-223. Charlize Theron wakes up and does pushups and a lot of people think Ridley is great for making it ambiguous she's an androiddespite this scene. She's just a hardass.

The crew establish themselves as unlikeable halfwits, hired by an unlikeable hardass for a trillion dollar mission because hey, the budget ran out and they couldn't hire competent people.

There's a briefing, wherein they're told they've all come all this way because two dolts made a stellar assumption based on old finger paintings and a crazy trillionaire believed them. The biologist mentions 300 years of Darwin which might make a mockery of her theory. Shaw ignores him and he's later killed first for the temerity of using his brain (the only time in the movie he actually does). Shaw meanwhile seems happy to reconcile the belief that we're created by aliens and a belief in God. Clearly she's an idiot.

We arrive at LV-223, a moon orbiting a gas giant. On earth, when one side of the planet is near the sun the other side is at night. This short difference in distance results in the temperature differentials between night and day. Consider now, I invite you, what the temperature would be like on a similar body orbiting a gas giant between when it's close to the sun and when it's on the far side of the planet. Yeah. I know, right?

Consider also that gas giants have massive gravitational force, such that they can cause tidal phenomena in rock just as our moon can cause it in water. Now look at the planet. Yeah. I know, right?

Anyway, the Prometheus plunges into the atmosphere, because that's what you do, you don't orbit, don't survey, don't scan, don't do any of those things you might want to do before landing. No, you just plunge right in.

Amazingly, they find a pyramid and some Nazca lines straight away because -movies. There is six hours of daylight left. Gotta pile out and explore then! The atmosphere we've already been told has toxic level of carbon dioxide, except it doesn't because - science fail (there's a lot of them). We're told as they're suiting up that David doesn't breathe. Bear this in mind when he later plays a flute people. We also see they've apparently only brought one security guy. Because that's what you do. We also see this guy thinks a flamethrower is the way to go because - hey, Alien movie.

They go into the pyramid (why is it a pyramid? because Ridley has apparently become affected by Freemasonry somewhere along the line, hence this comparative mythology garbage we're watching). The geologist has mapping balls which he releases. Again, we've built these things and yet there's large engines on the ship, but whatever.

We're 25 minutes in, the movie is staggering under the weight of it's own idiocy and yet there's more to come.

--
Water... Thirsty... Sick man...

[–] sinister_prog 8 years ago

Part 2

Our intrepid team of idiots wander around aimlessly in the pyramid. It's noticed that it generates it's own atmosphere. Therefore one idiot takes his helmet off. You will note this is a professional archaeologist. Someone whose business is to explore old tombs. Someone who would know about contaminating the environment of old places. Someone who suddenly decides to set aside professionalism because he is, in point of fact, about as smart as a sack of gravel.

David pushes buttons, because he's fed up being treated like an android and figures if he pushes enough random buttons he'll get everyone killed. He's not far wrong in this assumption.

There's a hologram activated of Engineers running away from something. The people follow the holograms to find the Engineers were running towards a room full of black goo, which is a bioweapon. People start buggering about unprofessionally. Goo starts leaking from canisters which are clearly built to subpar engineering standards, something you don't want in a bioweapon container. There's a giant disembodied head statue because Damon Lindelof had something to do with this and, hey, religion. Apparently this is a religion that involves ceremonies performed with containers of bioweaponry in front of a statue head. Nobody said religions ever made any sense, even alien religions. There are murals of mythic significance echoing Marduk and Jesus because Ridley Scott has joined the rolled-up trouser-leg brigade and they lap this stuff up.

Meanwhile back on the ship the Chinese guy says there is a 200mph storm approaching, which you can actually see out of the window. I wish I was making this scene up, I really do, but I'm not. The weather sensors on the ship are only as good as the human eyeball Mark I. They're worse than the UK Met Office. And that's saying something.

Inside the pyramid, they do some carbon dating, which you can't actually do because - science fail. This establishes a further connection with Jesus, although this storyline isn't explored explicitly according to Scott, presumably because it's stupid. But it's hinted that Jesus was an engineer and we killed him and now they're all mad and are going to kill us. Because, yeah that makes sense. Also, it renders Shaw a double idiot. Not only did God not create us, but Jesus didn't come to sacrifice himself and thus the entire point of Christianity is rendered meaningless. But Shaw will still be a Christian at the end of the film, because faith in spite of actually being presented with evidence you are massively wrong is a good thing by this movie's internal logic.

Anyway, severed head of engineer is bagged and everyone legs it. Apart from the two idiots who got lost. The ones with the mapping equipment. Who got lost. In what isn't a terribly complex building looking at the hologram. But still, they got lost because - movies.

The others run out and the storm hits and doesn't kill them by blasting through their bodies with flying debris despite tornadoes on earth being able to bury playing cards into houses inches deep with the force of wind power alone. But hey, science fail. By this point what's one more one-fingered salute to science and logic?

We're about 40 minutes in to this masterpiece. Can it get any worse? Oh yes, yes it can.

On the ship, the archaeologist and the doctor examine the severed head. Shaw decides she wants to try the 19th century parlour trick of galvanism, wherein dead things had electric currents passed through them to make them twitch like they were alive. The Victorians didn't have reality television, they had to make their own entertainment. Anyway, Ridley Scott has decided that galvanism is funny and also he wants to make a head explode, so this proceeds to occur because nobody around that examination table is a competent scientist and nobody involved in the script is either.

The storm rages. David talks to Weyland. Weyland tells him to try harder. David and Vickers have a confrontation to establish some sibling rivalry and it's all terribly po-faced and I'll be happy when these idiots just die, to be frank. David goes to retrieve his canister from the fridge. He decides to feed someone black goo because that's how you interpret the instruction to "try harder" obviously. Let's remember what this expedition is for again, Weyland wants eternal life and wants to ask the aliens how to get it. So you feed someone black goo, obviously. Nice thinking David. Why not just scrape any old crud off this alien moon and feed it to someone, you've got just as much idea it will have any effect as what could be just alien vegetable soup as far as you know. Vegetable Soup of Eternal Life? Well it makes as much sense as anything in this appalling cackfest.

Holloway is sulking for no reason adequately explained considering he's just verified the presence of other sentient life in the universe even if he hasn't found a live one yet. He's a massive c0ck to David so David feeds him black goo, hooray for David.

The captain meanwhile establishes his unprofessionalism by leaving his crewmen to their fates whilst at the same time messing with their heads. He decides he wants to shag Charlize Theron. I want to shag Charlize Theron too but unfortunately the captain has an accordion and that swings her decision in his favour. The two utterly unprofessional idiots presumably go off to shag.

Holloway and Shaw also shag and things of foreshadowing and religious significance are said and it's again, all telegraphed as it it's subtitled for idiots.

The two bumbling scientists stumble into the room with leaking black goo everywhere. A snake alien appears and the biologist forgets everything he should do encountering an alien lifeform - observe, study, and so forth and as a result dies of his own stupidity. It's suggested this is in character for him. If he's meant to be an idiot then fair enough. The other one dies trying to help him. It's no great loss to the gene pool if we're being entirely honest but it is ludicrously unprofessional of these two.

Morning time (and what is the orbital period and rotational speed of the moon? We don't know. Conveniently it seems to be on an earth day footing) and everyone decides to head back into the pyramid, which has been there 2000 years, in a seismically active zone, which has produced a mountain 20000 feet higher than Everest, which is right there and somehow this pyramid is untouched by 2000 years worth of potential earthquakes. Whatever. Everyone heads on back, including Holloway who now knows he's infected. He doesn't tell anyone. Because, as pointed out, he has the brains of a sack of gravel and apparently doesn't care about his girlfriend's life either.

David also heads in alone. He wanders to the mapping ball and opens the door. He explores, watched by Vickers. He finds a hold full of weapon canisters. Unsecured weapon canisters. Remember that when this ship later falls from the sky. He finds the bridge and cuts Vickers off. Vickers doesn't tell anyone, because she's a hardass idiot.

We're over an hour in and brains are starting to melt under the continuous assault of stupidity.

--
Water... Thirsty... Sick man...

[–] sinister_prog 8 years ago

Part 3

IMDb member since December 2010
The team re-enter the pyramid and locate their dead friends. No protocols have apparently been put in place to deal with crew deaths. Everyone starts panicking like a headless chicken when a worm thing leaps out of a corpse mouth. Holloway suddenly falls really, really ill. There's no protocols to deal with that either. Everyone starts to abandon the pyramid.

Shaw then states she wants a medical team standing by the airlock, with a full quarantine failsafe. Who does this team consist of? I thought the actual medic was with them in the pyramid. Why was there no decontamination procedure in place when entering and exiting the Prometheus anyway? Considering we sterilised the Mars rover before we sent it you'd have thought it would be a standard, but hey, this movie makes such a farce of science that by this point it's hard to view it as anything other than a 150 million dollar Troma movie.

David meanwhile has found the bridge. He pushes some squishy buttons which are unlabelled at random and manages to activate the chair. He has a sit down. Accidentally he's triggered a hologram. (For all their advanced tech the Engineers haven't master full HD, their holograms are pretty lousy). A hologram engineer sits in the chair David is in and pushes the same squishy buttons David did. Weirdly this doesn't activate the chair for him or trigger a hologram. "Just push the damn buttons and wave your hands around" Ridley Scott yells from behind the camera as his muscle-bound actor performs this scene.

The hologram pushes lots of buttons and waves his hands over lights and it takes an age for anything to happen. Suddenly a sort of galactic hologram map appears. David wanders into the hologram and picks up the earth, because you can totally do that. This probably has some religious significance but I've not been inducted into the rolled-up trouser-leg brigade like Ridley, so couldn't tell you. David seems happy though, and even happier when he finds a live engineer. It cuts away. Presumably, from what is said later, David sits there pushing buttons and lights willy-nilly "figuring out the broad strokes" and this alien spaceship doesn't budge an inch.

Holloway is having a bad time of it and is having a serious bout of man-flu. Shaw wants to save him but Holloway has realised that he's a threat to the gene pool, literally, and begs to be flame-throwered. He poses like Christ because hey, religious movie, even though his sacrifice really isn't on a par and Charlize obliges by turning him into extra crispy Holloway wings. It's about damn time, I was getting bored with Mr "Tom Hardy was busy doing Batman so we got this guy instead".

Shaw falls suddenly pregnant. David has got back onto the ship and is suddenly the medical expert. He takes her cross off of her because hey, religious movie. He wants to put her into cryo. Is any of this in his orders? Wasn't Weyland after eternal life? What the hell has this subplot got to do with anything other than to give us a "virgin birth" sequence in the movie because this is all supposed to be terribly religiously profound.

Shaw is understandably upset. So she slugs some of her crewmates (who thoughtfully decide never to hold it against her when they recover, or ask about her alien baby) when they come to take her away and runs to a medibot thingy in Vicker's quarters. I should have mentioned that was there earlier, but my brain was occupied by other lunacy so it slipped my mind. The medibot thingy is male-only, because that's how these things are built in the future. Presumably it's there for Weyland.

Shaw has an abortion. Despite having her abdomen sliced open she seems remarkably able to engage in physical activity beyond this point. It's suggested by fans her meds are really potent future meds. I bet they are, everyone else in this movie seems to have been abusing future meds recreationally judging by their stupidity. The alien baby squid is then gassed. Which does absolutely bugger all to it. This is curious since the exploding engineer head I think was similarly treated and yet that cleared up that infection. But there's so many inconsistencies in what the alien goo can do that inconsistencies in how decontam treatments affect it are par for the course.

A zombie turns up and they stupidly open the doors so it can slaughter people willy nilly. Apparently the only weapon which works in the future are flamethrowers. Some expendable people who had little say die along with the idiot geologist whose second demise seems only too fitting considering what a dingbat he was.

Shaw stumbles into Weyland's chambers. David is washing his feet because it's in the Bible a few times. Nobody asks Shaw what's happened to her apart from David who has mastered deadpan sarcasm, an unusual skill for an android.

Janek stumbles out of a deleted scene to tell Shaw that this is a weapon's facility. Inviting the question as to why, exactly, the aliens told us where their weapons facility was. And inviting the question why, when they need a stable environment, they chose to build a weapon's facility on a seismically active, tidally affected by gravity moon which should have massive extremes of temperature. It seems like the Engineer's are idiots, but as can be seen, so is absolutely everyone else in this farce, so they shouldn't be excused.

Charlize Theron delivers the worst piece of acting in her entire career.

It's 1:30 on the clock and the absurdity of this movie isn't done yet.

--
Water... Thirsty... Sick man...

[–] sinister_prog 8 years ago

Part 4

All but four of the crew head into the pyramid with Weyland. Nobody seems surprised to see Weyland alive and nobody seems to want to tell him where to get off considering the, ummmm, umpteen deaths there's been already. Because when you're the money man everyone instantly obeys you, even if you want to do things which don't make sense.

The captain on the bridge, for the first time, decides to monkey with the hologram and reveal there is a ship in the pyramid. "Jesus Christ" says Theron, because we really can't hammer home enough this is a movie about religion. "It's a God Damn ship" concurs the captain, because look, it's funny cos it's true! It's a ship with which our "gods" are "damning" us. FFS, Ridley, go boil your head, please.

Meanwhile David is playing a flute, despite not being able to breathe. He's mastered this ship already because you can totally do that despite only certain things being labelled, random button pushing having no detrimental effects and there apparently being a full load of holograms which you can watch and learn how to pilot and navigate an alien spaceship.

Shaw figures out the Engineers were going to kill us. The implication it's because of Jesus as mentioned earlier. When these guys have a grudge, they really have a grudge.

They wake the Engineer. The Engineer doesn't seem terribly surprised to see us and instead seems kind of annoyed to have been woken up. You might think he'd be curious, but that's really expecting intelligence from this movie and you really should have had that expectation beaten out of you after what you've seen so far. No, the Engineer goes mad because an insane doddering old codger says he's a god and wants eternal life. (That might be the deleted scene version, if it is then in the theatrical cut the Engineer just flips out for no reason that actually seems reasonable). He kills people and lets Shaw run away. He must carry on with his 2000 year old mission! Because that's what you do. You don't check the time, or ask how long you've been out. You follow orders. Hey, that's the Nuremberg defence. Didn't work there either.

Vickers comes to her senses finally and realises they really ought to go home when she sees everyone die. Hooray Vickers, finally you got brains. Though not for long.

The Engineer climbs into the giant penis gun thing and presses buttons. David is supposed to know how to pilot the ship from this. And yet you can clearly see he can't see what the Engineer is pressing from where his head is lying on the floor.

Suddenly Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls appears. This causes Shaw to mutate into a parkour expert, despite her surgery. She talks to the ships captain and says he's got to stop the alien vessel reaching Earth.

Charlize is having none of it. She leaves. The crew members all pose like Jesus as they fly their ship into the ascending alien croissant. It's religion people. It's sacrifice. It's everything. It's a deeply profound Hollywood blockbuster isn't it? No. No it's stupid is what it is.

The croissant then falls. I must say here, the second time I watched this movie I watched it with an engineer. An engineer massively into aeronautical engineering. He can make your eyes glaze over with tech details about planes. The croissant crashes and, as my engineer chum points out, would actually have disintegrated on impact. It's taken a hit right on the weakest point of it's structure which has damaged it so it will fall. If it lands on the same point it will collapse. It doesn't because - science fail, okay one most people wouldn't spot, but it's still a science fail.

We're then treated to the ludicrous scene of it rolling. Which it really wouldn't do either. But Ridley thinks this is cool and he has the money so it rolls. Hundreds of people are screaming for the two girls to run to the side. Charlize doesn't. She gets squished. Hurry up and kill everyone else off, please.

Shaw goes to the lifeboat with 30 secs of air left. In the airlock she grabs a handful of tubes. What are these? Air I'm guessing, she was short of the stuff. Then she hears a noise. It's her baby squid. Except now it's a big squid. What? How? Why? Wasn't it dead? Oh ffs, pleeeaaasse make sense movie, it's not too much to ask is it? An Engineer appeared. His ship fell out of the sky, didn't exploderise on impact and he managed to get past the hold full of canisters of black goo which didn't break after a fall from altitude and yet will leak at the drop of a hat if you so much as breathe on them funny. How did he ...? Oh screw it, it's nearly over.

He hunts her down, she sets a squid on him. He gets face-raped. She runs away. She has no food. There is a squid and an engineer in the life pod. David speaks to her. Can she come get him? Sure. She manages to get through a hold full of containers of black goo that apparently didn't break. She gets David's head. He tells her there are other ships.

She lugs his head and body to another ship. She has no food. She decides that what she really wants to do is seek out the homeworld of the aliens who want to destroy her entire planet and have just tried to kill her and ask them "why"? She doesn't think "I should go home and tell people all this". That would be far too sensible. No, she decides to seek out her would be murderers.

With no food.

But thankfully this assault on our intelligence is over.

--
Water... Thirsty... Sick man...

[–] The_Strangeler 8 years ago

  

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 7 years ago

thanks u

[–] brux (14724) 8 years ago

>> Because when you're the money man everyone instantly obeys you, even if you want to do things which don't make sense.

ref - Donald Trump

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

Thank you sinister_prog for confirming my suspicions that this indeed , makes no sense.
A friend of mine has seen this new "Covenent" thing and said "good sequel" I'd rewatch Prometheus so you remember where things were up to . My memory of watching Prometheus was that it didnt make a whole load of sense so i was dubious how much benefit I'd get from a refresher. I watched it anyway last night and , well , your summary summs up my feelings about it , especially
- running round in the new unknown alien environment like a bunch of children in a ball pool
- the robot constantly pushing buttons
- complete lack of quarantine , despite them mentioning they had it.
etc etc just like you said .
That was funny sh1t , thanks

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

You should watch Alien with the same nitpicking mindset, you'd be shocked. Literally every turn in the plot of Alien requires someone to do something stupid.

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

Yes the Prometheus nit picking nearly ruined Alien for me when I rewatched it recently.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

Aliens falls apart too, when the filter is applied.

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 7 years ago

All movies fall apart when you analyze them. People tend to forget that this is a fictional movie.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

Yeah, and this topic is a prime example. Tardarian even stretches to slam stylized stuff like sound in space... *yawn*, artificial gravity (even though he would never criticize Alien or Aliens for that), yet overlooks the faster-than-light space travel. In fact, many of his points are simply criticizing the movie for BEING fiction, like his mention of evolution.

But as I pointed out, the one who originally wrote this topic, Tardarian, literally does not know night from day. I love how I don't even need to be cheeky, that is a LITERAL statement. It's delicious irony to see in a topic dedicated to "scientifically" criticizing a stylized fictional piece of entertainment.

=)

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 3 years ago

good stuff

[–] JoWilli (19957) 10 months ago

FROGGY

[–] ProgsReturn (2075) 10 months ago

You git.For a moment I thought Moviechat's most obsessed vegetable had returned.

[–] JoWilli (19957) 10 months ago

lol sorry. I remember him saying he was leaving to pursue a new career.

[–] ProgsReturn (2075) 10 months ago

Trying to fit an infinite amount of storage space on to a usb memory stick *grin*

[–] ebhaynz (3688) 5 years ago

Thank you sinister_prog, this post needs to be translated into several languages in order to be seen around the world.. for the next 10 million years.

[–] Geff (453) 5 years ago

Read the first 3 paragraphs and I'm like, wtf, you know this fucking movie is MOTHER FUCKING FICTION right!?

Naria is bunk because Lions can't possibly talk.

Harry Potter is bunk because there are no wizards who can fly on broomsticks!

Lord of the Rings is bunk because lol elves and orcs wtf, do these people even know science!

Only religious zealots made these fucking movies.

Not going to read further. Thanks.

[–] [deleted] 3 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Slam_Evil 8 years ago

Hah! Yes, well done. Keep it going.

You're welcome.

[–] Wilson (879) 8 years ago

The timeline has all been muddled up, this might be a job for a floating soccer ball!

[–] brux (14724) 8 years ago

I agree it was completely idiotic ... who would die to seed a planet with life when any way your look at it that would not be necessary? That was the start of this idiotic movie that only got more idiotic. - see my posted comment of a few minutes ago.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

who would die to seed a planet with life when any way your look at it that would not be necessary?

Ah, so you and Tardarian both know what it takes to seed planets with life, and you understand the biomechanics behind the fictional Engineers' solution so deeply that you can discredit it? WOW!

That's ALMOST as bad as the part in Tardarian's rant where he claims to understand fictional artificial gravity so well, and also the physics of real-world gravity so well, AND deep-space travel so well, that he has magically proven that the capacity to generate or amplify gravity will cause thrusters to become immediately outdated... Movie criticism that apparently doesn't apply to Alien or Aliens.

Almost as bad. Of course Tardarian's view of science in general is rendered laughable by his insanely flimsy grasp of basic knowledge just a few sentences later (scroll down to see my bolded quote if you're curious).

=)

[–] brux (14724) 7 years ago

Would you die to seed a planet you will never see develop life, develop life? Not curious about anything you have to say or write to be honest.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

Would you die to seed a planet you will never see develop life, develop life?

Moving the goalpost from "necessary" down to my own personal willingness? Glad to see you gave up the point you made.

Not curious about anything you have to say or write to be honest.

And yet you replied to ask me a question. That says it all! Don't worry, we don't have to continue. I wouldn't if I were you, if I had made the mistake of siding with the scientific view of a Tardarian who QUITE literally doesn't know night from day and yet manages to have impossible knowledge of gravity and biogenesis (as opposed to abiogenesis, so you know it's not a typo).

Another case closed!

=)

[–] brux (14724) 3 years ago

> Moving the goalpost from "necessary" down to my own personal willingness?

You don't respond to either point and apparently you had 4 years. Not to mention you behave like a psychopath in the way you interact.

[–] JoWilli (19957) 3 years ago

dont know why people hate this movie, its one of the better sci-fi movies to come out in a long time.

[–] brux (14724) 8 years ago

>> David beams messages to the Engineers

Uh, where is this done/established?

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

Uh, where is this done/established?
Nowhere, not the way he describes it. Sinister's oft-reposted favorite topic is a collection of idiocy that can only be agreed with through a lack of critical thinking.

Take this for example, a quote from Tardarian's word vomit and possibly the only "supposedly factual" statement that can be analyzed:
On earth, when one side of the planet is near the sun the other side is at night. This short difference in distance results in the temperature differentials between night and day.

This should make anyone with a lick of scientific literacy absolutely CRINGE. Tardarian literally states that moving an extra 8,000 miles from the sun (Earth's diameter) will cause the night and day temperature difference, when we're already 93 million miles away from it (the Earth's orbital radius varies by 3 million miles during its elliptical path, with no noticeable effect -- that distance difference doesn't even contribute to the seasons!).

He makes this comment WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY dismissing the BLATANTLY OBVIOUS fact that the difference between night and day results from, of course, being showered with direct sunlight during the day and being in complete shade at night since we're facing away from the sun at night. Direct sunlight has such a huge effect that you can feel the sudden resulting chill even during an eclipse! This is why people step into the shade to cool down.

This is an incredibly basic fact which Tardarian had gotten embarrassingly and blindingly wrong, and yet it's still just one tiny example. It's like claiming that gravity is caused by air pressure. It's SO wrong, in fact, that I gain a gleeful joy in pointing it out and have a hard time believing that Tardarian was sincere in any of his posts (I think he was trolling both sides of the Prometheus spectrum with his regularly insane posts, but he posted so much that it's suspected to be real - no one should waste the time he did with simple trolling).

This is literally an example of Tardarian not knowing day from night. Can't get more poetically ironic than that.

This topic has been picked apart many times, but haters seem to love it. Again, that just highlights the extreme lack of critical thinking.

=]

[–] Terrygg (544) 8 years ago

Too long:didn't read.

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

You missed out , that was F***ing awsome

[–] FordFairlane (299) 7 years ago

Hes the only guy in the world who actually writes out too long didnt read. Everyone else just puts TL:DR. Ive seen him post before hes a nut job. Thinks the black goo was food that went bad.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

You missed out , that was F***ing awsome
You mean this idiotic (and often incorrect) rant that starts off by criticizing intentional fiction for not being reality, and also has one of the stupidest statements I've ever read in my life? (seriously I can't even read a single sentence in Tardarian's screed without finding something wrong -- I have never read the entire thing, all I have to do is glance and I see something dumb)

Here, tell me if you agreed with the statement in question:
On earth, when one side of the planet is near the sun the other side is at night. This short difference in distance results in the temperature differentials between night and day.

I have to know what you think of that quote from this "awsome" (sic) diatribe, and what you think of a person's scientific or critical thinking credentials if they are willing to say something like this.

Please =)

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

I agree that thinking its colder at night because that side of the planet is a planets diameter further away from the sun is a little retarded . No , lets be polite - it is incorrect. Personally I would postulate that is colder because its is in its own shadow and without a direct line of sight to the sun heating via radiation is lost. I think this was better illustrated in "The Chronicles of Riddick".

I didnt really see the christ obsession he mentions either. That said the main point stands - The characters in the movie act like a bunch of idiots re safety and professioanlism and reason. Please let me know what you thnk of any of these points:
The "engineer" at the start - why did he drink black stuff and die horribly rather than just chuck the stuff in the water?
What planet was that? whats the point of the scene if we dont know that?
Why do all the caveman star maps point to the offsite weapons dump rather than home?
Why did idiot1 take his helmet off purely because the air was breathable?
how did the 2 idiots making the map get lost?
Why does the robot run around pushing buttons all the time?
Why does the Engineer they woke up start killing them?
How do they know he's off to earth to kill us all?
Why is he off to earth to kill us all?

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 7 years ago

At least it was better than Covenant.

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

[deleted]

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 6 years ago

Happy to see Taudarians masterpiece survives :)

[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Yes, his masterpiece where he literally fails to understand the difference between day and night, among other laughable B.S.

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 6 years ago

Oh Spanners, you couldn't successfully defend this shite when it was first released, six years later, I doubt you've accrued the necessary debating skills to defend it further.

"but its got layers and its nuanced."...... tell it to Covenant that "benefited" from Prometheus' "awesomeness".

Nothing changes eh? ;)

[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

The movie stands on its own, it doesn't need to be defended.

What needs to be defended is tardarian failing to understand the difference between night and day, and using that failure as one of the only (THE only?) "facts" he references in his diatribe.

What also needs to be defended is the ensuing hilarity as other haters declare this screed a masterpiece without even noticing how inane it is.

More:

Tardarian even stretches to slam stylized stuff like sound in space... *yawn*, artificial gravity (even though he would never criticize Alien or Aliens for that), yet overlooks the faster-than-light space travel. In fact, many of his points are simply criticizing the movie for BEING fiction, like his mention of evolution.

...the part in Tardarian's rant where he claims to understand fictional artificial gravity so well, and also the physics of real-world gravity so well, AND deep-space travel so well, that he has magically proven that the capacity to generate or amplify gravity will cause thrusters to become immediately outdated... Movie criticism that apparently doesn't apply to Alien or Aliens.

So... how many of his nitpicks in this "masterpiece" apply as much to Alien and Aliens as they do to Prometheus?

[–] dlancer (2036) 6 years ago

Agreed. Prometheus was just a simple story about where the Space Jockey came from. It was filling a void that kinda had some people scratching their heads about it in the 70s/early 80s. That interest disappeared with Aliens, but resurfaced to a small extent with the internet. It didn't need to be anything more than standard science fiction.

I really wanted to see where the story would go, but everyone pissed and moaned about not seeing the cool and vicious aliens, so they went back to that crap with Covenant.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

Yeah, Covenant was a real missed opportunity.

[–] AckbartheHutt (1370) 5 years ago

Covenant was a terrible movie unlike Prometheus. I think its ranked in the top 100 movies of all time.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Maybe somewhere, but not on IMDb for sure!

It definitely ranks for me among the best sci-fi, along with new addition Alita, and both have worked their way into my top 10.

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 6 years ago

Jesus wept, you were soundly destroyed on your assertions that problems in Prometheus were somehow replicated in Alien and Aliens.

I assume you like your ass spanked?

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 2 years ago

4 years further...... still a masterpiece!

[–] JoWilli (19957) 2 years ago

I love this thread.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

Bumped for old times sake and because Strangeler/Sploiter never found his way here!

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 6 years ago

I miss IMDb.

[–] Lootrock (149) 6 years ago

Absolutely brilliant! I've gotten a lot of gratification reading your post. This movie contains the most aggressively stupid crew of people compared to their real-world analogues in a company of such means and they behave in ways that are completely unrealistic even outside of all the stupid shit they do. I really can't think of a worse movie in that regard.

Tommy Wiseau's The Room and even Ultraviolet are movies so stupid and out of tap with reality that they manage to be unintentional parodies of themselves, but Prometheus just grates you in all the wrong ways because it breaks its own rules.

For the record: I think Alien, in a vacuum, is a stupid movie too for the same reasons, except that it had historic cinematic importance for various reasons and the people weren't nearly as dumb as these people, but definitely still stupid.

The Thing is the only movie similar to this that got it right: people behaving in reasonably intelligent manners consistent with their roles at the facility. If Prometheus and Alien did that, they would be truly all time great films and honestly, I don't know how its possible that someone ok'd that script.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

If you think its a brilliant post, you didnt actually think about what you read. His diatribe is proven to be insane, incorrect, and anti-reality.

[–] Heisenberg (6730) 5 years ago

This is a brilliant post. I concur.
But I have to say, the target is too easy, this is shooting on the red cross.

This movie is stupidity solidified and then filmed. So it's easy to call it stupid.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Yes, a brilliant post.

By someone who literally does not understand the difference between day and night.

LITERALLY

My point stands, and in fact you simply reinforce it. You have no points to make other than repetition.

[–] Heisenberg (6730) 5 years ago

I think your point is incorrect and anti reality.
Why do you say this guy doesn't understand the difference between day and night?

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

"Why do you say this guy doesn't understand the difference between day and night?"

I'm glad you asked. Tardarian's diatribe has tons of idiocy, but the day/night thing was flabbergasting.

Take this for example, a quote from Tardarian's word vomit and possibly the only "supposedly factual" statement that can be analyzed:
On earth, when one side of the planet is near the sun the other side is at night. This short difference in distance results in the temperature differentials between night and day.

This should make anyone with a lick of scientific literacy absolutely CRINGE. Tardarian literally states that moving an extra 8,000 miles from the sun (Earth's diameter) will cause the night and day temperature difference, when we're already 93 million miles away from it (the Earth's orbital radius varies by 3 million miles during its elliptical path, with no noticeable effect -- that distance difference doesn't even contribute to the seasons!).

He makes this comment WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY dismissing the BLATANTLY OBVIOUS fact that the difference between night and day results from, of course, being showered with direct sunlight during the day and being in complete shade at night since we're facing away from the sun at night. Direct sunlight has such a huge effect that you can feel the sudden resulting chill even during an eclipse! This is why people step into the shade to cool down.

This is an incredibly basic fact which Tardarian had gotten embarrassingly and blindingly wrong, and yet it's still just one tiny example. It's like claiming that gravity is caused by air pressure. It's SO wrong, in fact, that I gain a gleeful joy in pointing it out and have a hard time believing that Tardarian was sincere in any of his posts (I think he was trolling both sides of the Prometheus spectrum with his regularly insane posts, but he posted so much that it's suspected to be real - no one should waste the time he did with simple trolling).

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Beyond that day/night thing which is so poetic how he got it wrong, he also bashed Prometheus in his topic over and over for being fiction, basically. He also bashed it for elements that are shared with Alien and Aliens, but which he would never criticize those movies for.

He also made up crap about gravity and such, while simultaneously ignoring other things like faster-than-light travel.

I have to warn people against blindly agreeing with this topic because of who made it. Taudarian was one of many trolls who spent YEARS bashing Prometheus constantly on IMDb (much of which can still be seen in the later pages here on MovieChat), literally every day, and if you liked the movie, they would call you stupid or retarded and attack you.

One of them even made a face Facebook account with my photo and used that to insult and attack the family members of one of their anti-Prometheus allies. He blamed me for it for a long time until I finally got him to look at my Facebook page and realize that it was not the same as the one that attacked his family members. He then split from the faction because he could see the leader (who went by the name Harry) was a sociopath and was most likely the one who did the attack.

That anti-Prometheus ally who had been chosen as the target of the troll attack finally made up with me, apologized for blaming me, apologized for trolling Prometheus, and left.

Taudarian was one of the most aggressive and vicious trolls on the board, but even though he would call people stupid for liking the movie, he would start nitpicking the science and THEN would justify the nitpicking with explanations that demonstrated he had no clue about science or reality.

Seriously, it was so easy to show the flaws in his posts that they felt intentional, just like this day/night thing... But the trolls never cared. Taudarian was a hero to them even though he ALWAYS got something horribly wrong when he posted. I called him Tardarian.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Essentially, Taudarian and his little posse were connected to a larger group of trolls on IMDb, as they all knew each other and would reference each other (and many of them are here on MovieChat now), and THAT GROUP is WHY the IMDb boards were shut down.

[–] Heisenberg (6730) 5 years ago

Wow, I didn't realize there was such a big conspirancy behind it.
It's still right on lots of points, as this movie is trashable crap.

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 5 years ago

No we weren't.

A few of us had heard of each other on other boards, but invariably the united dislike/like of a movie was what drew people together.

I was on the other side for Terminator Salvation and Terminator Genisys and Taudarian and others were not there for those "battles".

Prometheus drew us together because of people like YOU that gamely tried to defend its utter stupidity, it became more about the excuses you defenders would concoct that kept us there, it was an underground mine that had a never ending seam of entertainment until the boards were shut down.

If it wasn't for people like you Spanners, we'd have migrated off to some other board months before, but you kept on coming back, again and again.

That you think we were responsible for the message boards shutting down shows you didn't frequent the more problematic boards like religion that really were a cesspit, with the likes of Navaros and Knight in Black Leather, and then you had others that would go on rampages until they were deleted, only to make another account just to do it all over again.

Prometheus is a crap movie, with characters that defy just how stupid humans can be..... and you still can't defend it ;)

[–] TheFoxcatcher (59) 5 years ago

Typical Prometheus Haters' behaviour:

Haters posts what they feel is a flaw

Fans give logical answers with information coming from the movie

Hater vanishes for sometime and re-appear with the same post stating that the fans couldn't defend it.

All your comments on supposed flaws have been explained.

You guys are the ultimate example of people of Low IQ and who want to stay in denial.

Expecting a biologist well-protected in a suit to forecast that a worm like snake form would have acid blood is stupidity

Expecting a Woman character who doesn't want her father's mission to succeed, to recruit best of the scientist in order to get best support for that same mission is stupidity

Expecting pups to buzz for a worm which was in hibernation when it entered and before the temperature was affectively changed is stupidity

Expecting medical technology of 2094 to be same as 2012 is stupidity

Thinking that a Robot can be designed to blow air only if he actually breathes is stupidity.

Questioning fast growth of an Alien life form in a movie which is part of 'Alien' Franchise is stupidity

To laugh about artificial gravity in a spaceship in a movie which is part of 'Alien' Franchise is stupidity

The list can go on.....

Your posts are riddled with stupidity, denial, desperation & fan-fiction. You are proven losers.

Move on, Dickhead. Its been 6 years the movie is released. How long are you going to keep squealing like a pig on a board of a movie which you dislike ?

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 5 years ago

"Typical Prometheus Haters' behaviour:

Haters posts what they feel is a flaw"

What else am I going to post? The recipe for cupcakes???

"Fans give logical answers with information coming from the movie"

Fans give fanwank answers, fans get dismissed with their fanwank answers.

"Hater vanishes for sometime and re-appear with the same post stating that the fans couldn't defend it."

The IMDB boards where these messages originated on were shut down moron!

"All your comments on supposed flaws have been explained."

Evidently not!

"You guys are the ultimate example of people of Low IQ and who want to stay in denial."

Coming from the guy that appears to have a lower IQ than the dead, who cares what you think?

"Expecting a biologist well-protected in a suit to forecast that a worm like snake form would have acid blood is stupidity"

Trying pet something that looks like a Cobra probably wasn't the best approach though eh?

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 5 years ago

"Expecting a Woman character who doesn't want her father's mission to succeed, to recruit best of the scientist in order to get best support for that same mission is stupidity"

As stupid as the woman that then put herself on the ship so that she could die along with them.... way to go Einstein!!!

"Expecting pups to buzz for a worm which was in hibernation when it entered and before the temperature was affectively changed is stupidity"

Tecnology defeated by hibernation..... bears can be detected AFTER they kill you!!!

"Expecting medical technology of 2094 to be same as 2012 is stupidity"

...because STAPLES are MAGICAL!!!

"Thinking that a Robot can be designed to blow air only if he actually breathes is stupidity."

Robot doesn't need to do either!

"Questioning fast growth of an Alien life form in a movie which is part of 'Alien' Franchise is stupidity"

It was never that fast in Alien and Aliens or Alien 3

"Your posts are riddled with stupidity, denial, desperation & fan-fiction."

Only the bits with your quotes in!

"You are proven losers."

Proven by no-one and certainly not you!

"Move on, Dickhead."

Go fist yourself?

"Its been 6 years the movie is released."

Statute of limitations in force or something?

"How long are you going to keep squealing like a pig on a board of a movie which you dislike ?"

As long as I want...... Poor effort Spanners with this sock account of yours, sooooo transparent!

[–] ProgsReturn (2075) 5 years ago

GFL! Long time no see.

Prometheus fans still vainly trying to defend this crapfest. Who would have thought it eh?

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 5 years ago

Things never change!

What was your username on imdb? Was it Sinister Prog?

[–] ProgsReturn (2075) 5 years ago

Yup that was me!

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Ah, you're back.

Since Tardarian and galahad both fail to comprehend what causes day and night, perhaps you can explain to us the actual mechanics.

Then point out how Tardarian's reference to day and night has literally nothing to do with the mechanics of day and night, other than the mere factual existence of sunlight and planetary objects.

Are you willing to even admit to reposting such amazing ignorance, or will you simply revert to laughable bravado like "fans still vainly trying to defend this crapfest."

You know, the more you try to convince everyone how much smarter you are than fans of "movie X", the more they realize you're doing NOTHING but talking about it.

Then they see how you are actually hiding how brain-dead dumb you actually are.

And you do it the same way racists do: By simply projecting your own negative emotional baggage onto others and playing the "I'm rubber you're glue" game that got old as soon as I first heard it.... As a child.

[–] ProgsReturn (2075) 5 years ago

Taud never made an attempt to define the mechanics of day and night.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Thank you for admitting you have never read this diatribe.

Quote directly from the main post of this topic:

We arrive at LV-223, a moon orbiting a gas giant. On earth, when one side of the planet is near the sun the other side is at night. This short difference in distance results in the temperature differentials between night and day. Consider now, I invite you, what the temperature would be like on a similar body orbiting a gas giant between when it's close to the sun and when it's on the far side of the planet. Yeah. I know, right?

Can you now explain how incorrect this is?

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 3 years ago

Oh froggy, wherefore art thou?

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Expecting medical technology of 2094 to be same as 2012 is stupidity

Thinking that a Robot can be designed to blow air only if he actually breathes is stupidity.

Questioning fast growth of an Alien life form in a movie which is part of 'Alien' Franchise is stupidity

To laugh about artificial gravity in a spaceship in a movie which is part of 'Alien' Franchise is stupidity

Yep, these examples are literally just haters shooting themselves in both feet, repeatedly.

Either galahad and tardarian are insanely, dumbfoundingly stupid, or they are simply bored misfits who don't do well with conversation and interaction, so they troll.

They would be pitiable if they weren't so pathetic.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Prometheus drew us together because of people like YOU that gamely tried to defend its utter stupidity

And yet you blindly and ignorantly worship a user who LITERALLY didn't know the difference between day and night, who thought night was caused by being further from the sun... Instead of the sun not being visible at all. Even a CHILD understands that darkness is absence of light, not just scooting a little further away.

So yes, you and Tardarian and sinister are LITERALLY UNITED BY YOUR OWN MUTUAL IGNORANCE.

You're also united by being less intelligent and less mature than the average child.

That's why, 7 years later, you are STILL harping on and doing the exact same trolling, while ignoring all the painful stupidity of this hilariously backfiring topic.

You have nothing else left, so you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repea.... you just repeat the same shit over and over.

You're literally so ignorant that you still don't understand why the day/night thing Tardarian posted is wrong. It boggles your cavemanesque "brain" and you end up thinking I'm mocking you... All because you can't comprehend the basics of what cause day and night. I recommend investing in a globe from Wal-Mart or Target.

Troglodyte mentality, that's your entire ilk.

At least you liked Alita, thought most likely because so much is spelled out and spoon-fed to the core target audience (which is the YA demographic).

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 5 years ago

All I heard was "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...people dont agree with me and they are mean."

Same old spanners, isnt it time you had another breakdown and took a sabbatical from here? :)

[–] Frogarama (12942) 5 years ago

Once again you literally say nothing and didn't even respond to anything I said or intended or put across.

Pathetic, no wonder you keep this sock handy. How many you got, troll? How much time do you waste trying to farm out your unhappiness to others?

I am immune to your B.S. I am happy for reasons you would fantasize about.

[–] galahadfairlight (414) 5 years ago

You have nothing worthwhile critiquing.

Same old spanners, same old tired excuses.

As for trolls and socks, you wish ;)

[–] Bubbathegut (18045) 5 years ago

u got pwned again...