God it was terrible... I sat through this one with my girlfriend because I enjoy an eclectic amount of movies and rom-coms can be done well -- this one, however, is so poorly and lazily executed it was getting painful to watch.
(1) The movie is amazingly clichéd. I know women don't really care and they're generally fine with seeing the same exact story done over and over when it comes to these kinds of movies, but that the exact problem with films like this - absolutely zero substance or originality.
(2) It's the most predictable movie ever made. Seriously, you knew all three acts before you even put the DVD in or sat down in the theater, didn't you? How am I supposed to enjoy a movie and be at all vested in the characters when I know exactly where it's headed and the empty, unsatisfying ending that's a gruelingly long 90 minutes away?
(3) Dialogue is so incredibly forced it's ridiculous, and this is my biggest fault with the movie. Seriously, who for a second thought it would be believable for Natalie Portman to yell stupid s#@t like "THAT HOLE IS MY BITCH!" and "YOU LOOK LIKE A PUMPKIN!" There are countless other moments where I just found myself shaking my head and feeling embarrassed for the people on the screen. Not to mention, they took the easiest target for a joke ever made - the Prius - and pissed it away... really, how hard is it to make a great Prius joke? Too hard for the writers of this crap apparently. Nobody talking ever feels or sounds natural with the possible exception of Ashton Kutcher, which is setting the bar pretty low.
(4) Throwaway characters - Ashton Kutcher's best friend; Ludacris; all of Natalie Portman's friends; literally the entire supporting cast is a waste.
(5) The pacing sucks balls. 5 years ago - 1 year ago - 6 weeks ago - wow could the writers expose their laziness any further? Instead of having actual character development, we'll just let a time-card do that so we don't have to explain how things have progressed.
(6) Nothing is believable - the situations, the characters, the dialogue - all of it is rushed, forced, and over the line absurd.
So yeah, this movie sucked, even by rom-com standards... why can nobody make another 'Love Actually' or 'As Good As It Gets'? It's always this throwaway, box office-focused, pandering tripe... Ladies, you should be demanding more quality than this.
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