emotional betrayal vs. physical betrayal - Last Night (2011) Discussion

[–] coolstream11 14 years ago

In my experience the first almost always leads to the latter, and you cannot have the latter without the former...

As to which one is actually worse? IMO I suppose the the latter would hurt me more I think.

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[–] inbalar1000 14 years ago

you can definitely have the later without the former.

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[–] coolstream11 14 years ago

Just out of honest curiosity, what would be you idea of a physical betrayal without an adjoining emotional betrayal?

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[–] inbalar1000 14 years ago

not sure why i'm not understood easily...

you can have great sex without having any feelings of love to the person you're having sex with. you just need to be physically attracted to him/her.

is it any clearer now? or do i need to be more specific ?

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[–] ceche 14 years ago

Physical hurts terribly, but only paired with emotion can it destroy a relationship...as for emotional betrayal in itself, I don't think that it can exist long without the physical part, it's merely transitory...

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[–] caulfield_17 14 years ago

No way. Say you're in a relationship with someone who you are physically intimate with, but they are more mentally loyal and more emotionally attached to someone else, say a close friend who they've loved for a very long time? Wouldn't that be more treacherous because it was a way in which you would always fall short?

If the person I loved simply had sex with someone else, then I wouldn't care because they were just venting sexual frustration. But if they had a deeper connection with someone else, other than me, then I would feel more betrayed.

I guess it depends on the relationship you're in though. Most people's relationships probably start and end with sex, so they would consider physical betrayal the worst kind.

Emotional infidelity is much worse in my mind though.

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[–] nimue09 14 years ago

studies in psychology says men find it more hurtful for a woman to cheat emotionally and women find it more hurtful for a man to cheat physically. that's why women always fear the answer to "did you sleep with her?" and men always fear the answer to "did you love him?"

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I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world!

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[–] elysium7 14 years ago

Really? I was under the impression is exactly vice versa. Can you point to such studies? Thanks!

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[–] yukismom1 14 years ago

yeah, I agree, it's the opposite

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[–] nimue09 13 years ago

i'm currently taking up b.s. psychology in college and that's what i learned from my professors. *shrugs* if you guys disagree, you'll have to take up with my uni, lol.

my professor said that yeah, the general view is that of what you guys would think but that studies actually show the opposite.

they said it's because for men, sex is dispensable. most of them can detach emotions from sex. sex to them does not equal the value of love. thinking it's true for women, it's easier for them to accept that the woman slept with another man (but did not love him) rather than find out that she may have not slept with another man but fell in love with said other man.

for a woman, sex is a very intimate act. they hold their virginity of high value then men, even. always wanting that "first time" to be special, while men just wants to get rid of it as soon as possible, not caring whether they got rid of it with someone they love or not. also, women are more conscious about their figures then most men. so when men sleep with other women, it's more devastating for them because of course sex to them is of equal value to emotional attachment. so if they find out their man slept with another woman, they interpret it as that man also automatically loving another woman. and not only that, that he no longer finds her attractive and adequate to suit his "needs".

that's what i learned anyway. :)

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I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world!

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[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] hanvl 13 years ago

Of course that can be right I do not know. But is is quite strange. Because what women usually told me is that emotional is worser. Keira said that Joanna was worst and emotional betrayal was worser. Also during the shoot majority of man thought phycial is worser and majority of woman emotional.
As for me I do not know what would be worser for me, I do not have that experience (and hopefullzy never will).

"Mein Führer I can walk!"

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[–] occasionalcritic 11 years ago

haha nah, I'm surprised you're not learning this in psychology, but that's socialisation. It's gender double standards. Women are taught that their virginity is some gift, and that they cant have sex as freely as men, or that they 'dont respect themselves' if they do. Similarly men are encouraged to be mindlessly sex driven, despite their obvious (equal) ability for deeper emotional attachment.

Men and Women arent that different, its just a bunch of social rules and influences that make it seem that way. Trust me, sex isnt always an intimate act for women, just like it isnt always an intimate act for men.

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[–] staceydare 9 years ago

If I replied to the wrong person, sorry. It is my first time posting here. It looks like I may have replied to you. How not because that tool was totally wrong.

Of course, this is years old. Don't know why I'm bothering. Oh well.

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[–] staceydare 9 years ago

You are going to have to quote a source on this because that is totally wrong. Most of the feelings we have(that are not caused by social constructs) are for evolutionary reasons (such as the example of feeling lonely so you will find a mate to procreate with.)

Men do now want to raise another man's children (not because of social construction, that is because he wants to spread his seed. He may NOW be ok with adoption and step children, but that is a rational choice of today.) He is going to be much more angry if a woman cheats physically, because she may get pregnant by another man and he wouldn't know.

Women, on the other hand, need a man to stay with her to help raise the children. For protection, hunting, & those kinds of needs. So if he cheats emotionally, then the woman will feel insecure that he is going to leave her stranded in the wild. She will become more upset by emotional cheating. Emotional cheating can lead to abandonment.

So if you can't quote a study (you can look using Google scholar, but you won't find one)then at least tell us what uni and what course specifically.

So, nice telling all those other people they are wrong. Don't spout your opinions as "facts."

Science. Bam.

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[–] Benprogfuse 13 years ago

I disagree with nimue09 100%. I believe the exact opposite.

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[–] yxus 12 years ago

I agree completely!

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[–] GiovanaSamara 13 years ago

"as for emotional betrayal in itself, I don't think that it can exist long without the physical part, it's merely transitory... "

Well I can attest it may not be merely "transitory".
In the past, I've been completely in love with someone for 5 years and we were never (EVER) together.
I had a relationship during this period, but to me it was always obvious who I really wanted. Whenever my then-boyfriend talked about getting married, having kids, I'd think to myself: "Yeah, right. Dream on..."
Of course I couldn't endure a loveless relationship for too long. I broke up with him and kept on living my utopic love.

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[–] bear022013-588-696101 9 years ago

Filth nothing but whores

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[–] jabondy 13 years ago

by inbalar1000 (Sun Mar 13 2011 00:27:48)
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not sure why i'm not understood easily...

you can have great sex without having any feelings of love to the person you're having sex with. you just need to be physically attracted to him/her.

is it any clearer now? or do i need to be more specific ?

I totally agree with you but apparently, from my own discussions, many people, if not a majority, don't. In both genders and particularly in monotheist or strongly religiously influenced parts of the world. And the fewer partners, beloved or not, or experiences you've had, the less you can understand that. To orientate any opposition, "more" does not mean "ALL". Now, the world desperately lacks a religion that wouldn't be a sect and that wouldn't consider humans as kids on the matters of sex and love or passion and that would at last help teach how to deal with these in a mature adult reasoned way. As they are on their way to begin in this movie btw.

To better illustrate your point inbalar1000, we can propose to consider the difference between friendship and love with life companion. Most ask for exclusivity in the latter but those asking exclusivity in friendship are considered psycho. Will we one day master our reptilian brain and consider psychotic to ask for sexual total absolute exclusivity in the latter?

In my own observations, the more you entertain multiple partners, the less you are inclined to fall very deep in the childish traps of passion, desires and love at first sight; and the more you love truly without jealousy, the real opposite of love by the way. In an ideal world, who truly loves you the most from start to end? Your parents! And grand-parents if they survived. Are they jealous of your relationships? I hope not. There with your parents or better, by being one, you finally learn what true love truly is. Limitless and certainly non exclusive. Quite the contrary, true love should be inclusive.

And to answer the topic, the emotional betrayal if deep, sincere, exclusive and long lasting is way way way more dangerous for a couple than just the physical one that can be or end up being just a desert or a candy (sometimes bitter) for the well trained or all realistic smart ones.

In the movie, Keira Knightley's character, is, in my opinion, the one really the most in danger for the future of her couple. As is her love played by Canet. And they are indeed the only one to cry alone thinking about the other. This unconsumed passion turning into love and obsession is way more dangerous and heart and soul eating than most consumed ones. In a word: *beep*! lol

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[–] Benprogfuse 13 years ago

"Just out of honest curiosity, what would be you idea of a physical betrayal without an adjoining emotional betrayal?"

You are a woman right??

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[–] dandanger 13 years ago

You saw it - Michael and Laura - that was purely physical. Alex and Joanna was an emotional betrayal without an adjoining physical betrayal.

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[–] kitteymagic 13 years ago

I think phisical betrayal is much worse.

I think sex, kissing etc. to be very personal and i cherish those things.

If i found out my parnter was cheating on me in a physical way i would be so much more angry because you can't take those things back.

~~*AIM*~~
KEIRAHOLICNº14
Forever POTC

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[–] modelajb 13 years ago

I felt that what Sam Worthington's character did was an example of that. He cheated on his wife physically with another woman, but he was not in love with that woman.

However, what Kiera Knightley's character did was emotional cheated. Even though she resisted the physical temptation, she was still in love with her ex.

I think both situations would be hurtful. The latter would probably be more damaging on a longterm scale, though, unless the physical cheating is recurring.

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[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Xcalat3 14 years ago

emotional

When there's no more room in hell, The dead will walk the earth...

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[–] David_Bro 14 years ago

They're the same for me.

I think sex (being inside someone) is intimate and should mean something. I know that is not a very PC view anymore, but this holds true to me and my wife.

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[–] elysium7 14 years ago

In my experience the first almost always leads to the latter, and you cannot have the latter without the former...

Eloquently put!

Sex IS intimate and creates a bond, no matter how horny, frustrated, drunk, angry, etc. you are, it's never "JUST sex".

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[–] farmeunit 14 years ago

This may be correct for most people, but definitely not all. I've had several relationships with girls that were just sexual. And that applied to both of us.

I think emotional is the worse by far.

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[–] elysium7 14 years ago

Can you really say you "see" those girls like you've seen them before geting naked? Like any other stranger?

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[–] harveythepooka 14 years ago

I TOTALLY agree with this: "In my experience the first almost always leads to the latter, and you cannot have the latter without the former..." I'm not saying sex can't sometimes just be sex but if you are in a committed relationship shouldn't that commitment trump a 15 minute cheap thrill? When you are committed to someone and you know that having sex with someone else will hurt them, even if the sex in and of itself doesn't mean anything it's still an emotional betrayal. You are choosing to hurt your partner by sleeping with someone else so both emotional and physical go hand in hand. If someone was totally emotionally invested they wouldn't want to hurt their partner by having meaningless sex with someone else. It doesn't have to do with attraction, it has to do with loyalty. If you want to keep what you have you don't go out having sex with other people, if you honestly don't care, then you do and if you don't care you can't be invested into the relationship too damn much.

I'm not sure what you mean by just emotional betrayal, as in you love your partner but love someone else too, or you stopped loving your partner and are now in love with someone else. I think if you are still in love, committed and your relationship hasn't changed it doesn't matter. If something changes there will be jealousy and most likely a break up in the end, the same as if you cheat.

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[–] subase 13 years ago

Very true.

The film points this out when Worthington is more shocked and hurt by the fact he would ALLOW himself to have sex with a co-worker than the sex act itself. He first realises this in the bed but it stays with him throughout the day getting worse.

The sexual act catches him by surprise and reveals the depth of his emotional betrayal to his wife in him not preventing it. (she warned him after all but he denied it)

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[–] jacottj 13 years ago

hum, what about prostitution? and i’m not talking about the professionals, i’m talking about the clients.

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[–] Philter914 14 years ago

I think physical betrayal is easier to forgive, but the emotional is almost impossible to avoid (depends on how you define it, of course). In my opinion physical betrayal tells you something about your partner (if he does commit it), but having to deal with emotional betrayal tells you something about yourself. There is no one to blame and, as I said before, it is practically unavoidable, so either you live with it or you have to end the relationship.

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[–] Esuma 14 years ago

In general apparently men are more bothered by sexual cheating, but women are supposedly more bothered by 'emotional' cheating. Personally I'd be devastated by either!

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[–] Sunshine_pink 14 years ago

If the person I loved simply had sex with someone else, then I wouldn't care because they were just venting sexual frustration. But if they had a deeper connection with someone else, other than me, then I would feel more betrayed.

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I agree with the above.

Sex is temporary, I have had encounters (when i was younger) and there was nothing else- no emotion, no strings...just unhindered, unattached, unemotional sex...and it was great. But love is something else...it is deeper and more painful.

To love someone else will hurt me much more than physical betrayal because then i know there is NO chance of it working

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

I guess physical betrayal is something you can blame your partner for, whereas you can only accept if he or she feels emotionally attracted to someone else (of course, you can still ask them to be honest about it).

Both is definitely painful, but only in one case is it up to the betrayed whether he or she wants to continue the relationship.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] elysium7 14 years ago

You can not dictate your brain what it's attracted to. But cheating in both cases require action. I can see how falling in love might sneak up on someone, thats why it might be more easily "accepted" and not blamed.

There's a cool scene with Sean Connery in Playing by Heart:

Hannah (his long term wife): Do you remember what you told the kids about falling in love?
Paul: No.
Hannah: Well, I do. You said that the wonderful thing about falling in love is that you learn everything about that person, and so quickly. And if it's true love then you start to see yourself through their eyes and it brings out the best in you and it's almost as if you're falling in love with yourself.
Paul: I said that?
Hannah: Mm-hmm.
Paul: Well, 25 years ago, I needed to feel that again. Feel that I was worth loving. Because somehow I knew that would be my last time to have that particular feeling.
Hannah: You couldn't have it with me?
Paul: Oh, I did have it with you but I'd forgotten it. I hadn't forgotten why I loved you but I'd forgotten why you loved me. And Wendy made me remember that I was a pretty terrific fellow.
Hannah: Bully for Wendy.
Paul: But I knew that I couldn't sleep with her.
Hannah: Why?
Paul: Because I would have left you and the kids.
Hannah: Remember the day Wendy left the company and went to Seattle? I thought for a while you might go with her.
Paul: Me too, but I didn't. When I came home that day I realized that I was more in love with you than ever before.
Hannah: How did that thunderbolt strike you?
Paul: Because I'd made a choice. I took one look at you and I knew I'd made the right choice. I know that sounds daft but my love for somebody else made me love you more because I sought to reclaim myself.

Nice saving from Paul or true?

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

A bit confusing. At one point, I think you got Paul and Hannah confused.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to think.

The thing about learning to love yourself by being loved by someone else seems about right for me. Also, I believe our lives are too complex to just fall for one person and completely shut out the rest of the world forever.

However, this old "my love for somebody else made me love you more"-saying, I don't really buy it. There are no shades of love, just true love and flings. The thing that brings some people closer together after having cheated, is that they lived their fantasy and it turned out to be empty and not in any way as fulfilling and beautiful as what they had/have.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] elysium7 14 years ago

Thanks, i made the correction.
That line bothered me too, i thought it cheaped the whole scene. Perhaps if he wouldve said "my love for somebody else, reminded me how to fall for you again or how to love you ..." wouldve been more credible, since he said he made a choice.

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[–] stf092 14 years ago

it also depends on the motive...you can love your wife but still cheat her with lady X because you just wanna tap that booty...not because you love lady X

still it is a betrayal and should not be forgiven

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

still it is a betrayal and should not be forgiven

I don't agree. If it's love on both sides, it can be forgiven.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] stf092 14 years ago

if she/he really loves you...it won't cheat on you:P and besides...i personally...i could never love again a woman who just betrayed my trust

sry 4 my very bad english:">

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

well, then you should question if your love is real.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] stf092 14 years ago

with all do respect sir...or mam...but you're an idiot...if you would still love the woman/man who fu... the neighbour from the second floor just for fun...no comment...i rest my case...again...sry 4 my english

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[–] deeali 14 years ago

I agree...I believe your love can't be true if you DO forgive such betrayal. The more you love someone the worse something like this would hurt, and the harder you can ever get over it.
And I'm finding it scary that people are starting to become more 'open minded' about cheating. So many people do it now, and it's almost like we're being brainwashed by the media to find it more acceptable. All these movies romanticize it.
As far as I'm concerned the only time I can find something like this acceptable, was if you lived in a society were marriage is forced upon you, and you're married to a terrible person or someone you don't even love, divorce is unheard of or extremely difficult and you happen to (naturally) fall in love with someone else.

In western society there are NO excuses. If you end up loving someone else, you leave the person you're with and then get together with whoever, if that's what you were planning to do. If you want to have pointless sex even though you're married, then you're just an idiot if you go through with it, and your spouse SHOULD leave you and never forgive you because it's what you deserve. There is no grey area, sex doesn't pounce on you out of nowhere, and you aren't a bloody animal who can't hold themselves together in the face of temptation especially when you have a loved one at home you can really hurt.

The emotional eventually leads to the physical, and the physical alone is just plain stupid. Atleast with emotional, there were some feelings involved, and a reason for it to happen...it wasn't just because your partner wanted sex for the hell of it with someone else. That's just incredibly insulting, and unless you're in one of those open relationships I don't see how anyone can accept that.
They're both horrible, but I reckon I would understand emotional more. You know you can't help how you feel, so rationally you can't blame someone for just falling in love with someone else, and unless you're forbidding your partner from any interaction with the opposite sex, there is always a risk it will happen. It would make me angrier in reality, but it is logically more understandable. Pointless sex, however, I just cannot fathom.

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

And I'm finding it scary that people are starting to become more 'open minded' about cheating. So many people do it now, and it's almost like we're being brainwashed by the media to find it more acceptable. All these movies romanticize it.

are you for real? the complete opposite is true in movies. people who are cheated on are victims, cheaters are monsters. only few movies differentiate.

what i find scary, really scary, is when people say you should never ever forgive another person for something he or she has done. few things in life are unforgivable. being unfaithful definitely isn't one of them.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] DCI77 13 years ago

are you for real? the complete opposite is true in movies. people who are cheated on are victims, cheaters are monsters. only few movies differentiate.

It's clear that there is a growing trend of people becoming more 'open minded' on cheating. People say that the US is prude - it is in some aspects if you constantly watch the "news." There's cheating happening left and right, and people constantly thinking the grass is greener. It's entitlement.

what i find scary, really scary, is when people say you should never ever forgive another person for something he or she has done. few things in life are unforgivable.

Are you for real? If a person has a deep sense of trust and that trust is broken it's damn hard to get it back. Not everyone forgives easily, and some for good reason.

being unfaithful definitely isn't one of them.

Speak for yourself.

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[–] Superunknovvn 13 years ago

Are you for real? If a person has a deep sense of trust and that trust is broken it's damn hard to get it back. Not everyone forgives easily, and some for good reason.

I agree completely, and I never meant to say that it's a small thing. Still, at the end of the day, if you can't forgive a person who is sincere about his or her regrets, you need to ask yourself the question what's greater: your love or your pride. If your trust comes with the limitation that you could never forgive somebody who cheats on you, then that's blackmailing more than trust.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] LaPuertaDelCielo 10 years ago

Hmm..I never thought of it as pride. More like a humiliating slap in the face, complete betrayal of all the intimacy and the trust you put into that person. I can't imagine my husband telling me he slept with another woman. That's the same as saying that he shared his most intimate state and emotions and body with another woman, flushing down the drain what our relationship represents. That's a one-way ticket, there's no going back to someone like that; it's unforgivable.
When both partners are on the same page, the emotional and sexual bond is unbreakable. At least that's how I view my relationship.

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[–] shoutingagain 10 years ago

yes, 360chick, agreed.
Nothing would hurt me greater than losing my husband ---he is my soul mate (as hokey as that sounds, when it applies, I find it can still be stated) & frankly, without question, he's my greatest & prized treasure. A total gift from God.
But I have to admit, the way I see it.... it would be outta my hands & beyond my power (so fortunately--at least in a pragmatic way-- NOTHING for me to lay in hopeless worry or fret WHAT to do. It's already BEEN DONE)!
HE would've made the decision to end it----much as does anyone making such choice.

Yes, folks, it's a choice, in every single respect. Just accept that, you're not a helpless, irresponsible (maybe hedonistic) self-indulgent child making excuses but a grownup making decisions!!

And anyone...I do mean ANYONE....that cheats knows they are risking losing their spouse.
If they aren't risking such, they haven't much of a marriage to begin with! Worse, IF they are TOO stupid to realize the risk, they are too stupid to be married to me.

I dunno...it's so heartbreakingly SIMPLE, I personally can't see how anyone views it differently. Why would someone (even if they could!) WANT To be with someone they have NO respect for? Is it really asking a LOT today to not only require love but also someone you cherish, respect & look up to, at least as your parity?

Then again, to many these days, maybe marriage is no longer either sacred (yes ppl, to many, it's STILL a sacrament), nor does the word "vow" appear to have any real meaning.
I dunno, I just fail to get it!!

Also while I wouldn't consider myself OVERLY religious, how can one not be clear of a basic, fundamental tenet of marriage? Think, examine & Do NOT enter lightly!
At least I fully understand & respect we are vowing something (for eternity) to GOD & I for one, don't want to break my promise to Him & have to try to explain that later on.
So VERY good reason to wait to be SURE you are marrying the right person (if at all)....and why waiting until nearly 40 worked perfectly for me. But then it would've been right whenever my husband was on the scene...just happened to be at that time. And for whatever reason, things happen only when they should.

Honestly the world is NOT better off reducing their moral standards. More ppl. suffer due to such lack of character.
Next. Yes, marriage is work. All work is NOT bad. It sure is packed with insurmountable rewards if done right. Just be SMART about it & you won't even DESIRE to cheat.
Which hey...everyone CAN appreciate someone looking nice, we're human beings, without acting on it! To be clear, just be honest with yourself & KNOW this...IF it moves beyond THAT, it's because YOU allowed it to, be it emotionally AND/OR physically.

So finally, I guess I should (thinking to END) state the "can't help" who we love rhetoric is a TOTAL crock! Of course we can HELP! Some of you make it sound like someone unwittingly trips helplessly into a pit of fire. Enough with the rationalization.
IF you are MARRIED, you don't put yourself in position TO potentially "fall" in love with someone else! Yes, you should be able to have friends of both sexes, you aren't an animal but a human being in complete charge of yourself. Unless you live under a rock, be honest, you know how it goes--we've all had feelings & we all well know they don't BURST out on the scene from nowhere without warning, they are invited into our hearts, mostly led by small steps, we place INTIMACY out there...it's now on the table!
So in the end, I see no mystery involved here! It's basic, undiluted & uncomplicated---simply put, IF you put yourself in proximity to develop relationship with someone ELSE you might be attracted to (we are almost ALL vulnerable to some small extent, at least at some RARE point in our lives), That is YOUR mistake & in doing so, you are surrendering your marriage. That's how you should view it...OK, well I am running serious risk & asking to lose my spouse.
Lastly, for those who selfishly believe you can & (maybe) deserve both (or all), you probably deserve neither! At minimum, IF you want both, TOO bad jag-off....you can't have it (hope you end up & die all alone, what you deserve. Karma's a bitch)!!................
😴

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[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] shurbanm 12 years ago

For you perhaps it isn't.
For most people it is.

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[–] shurbanm 12 years ago

In western society there are NO excuses?

Really? What you are describing sound more like middle eastern societies...

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

i can forgive your bad english but not the arrogant act of calling somebody an "idiot" for simply disagreeing with you.

you don't seem to question the concept of monogamy for a second - which you should, because for all the security it seems to give us, it's an unnatural concept that many people just cannot live up to, no matter how hard they try. and it doesn't make them bad people, either. more likely it's the concept that is flawed.

i'm not one of those people who's comfortable in open relationships myself. i don't want to live in a relationship, in which i cannot trust my partner and get cheated on all the time, either. however, we are humans, we are fallible, and a love that cannot forgive mistakes is really no love at all but a misguided idea of being in possession of the other person.

i think the only reason some people disagree with that so passionately is because in their heart of hearts they're afraid to acknowledge that no one person will ever be ours completely and neither will we be theirs. life is more complicated than that. to ignore that is to live in denial.

here's an article on the subject, which i found quite interesting:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2010/mar/07/polly-vernon-infidel ity-betrayal-help-relationships

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] stf092 14 years ago

i would forgive my wife crashing my car, burning my house...or some other major disaster she might cause(as long as she won't bring the apocalypse)...but i'd never forgive her cheating me...because if she would really love me...she wouldn't be cheating...and besides...why should i tourture myself with a person i can no longer trust...when i could easyly dump her and find a new one...at least she could let me know: darling...i don't love you anymore...or that much...ohh...yeah...and i slept with X...just thought you might wanna know that too

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[–] Superunknovvn 14 years ago

when i could easyly dump her and find a new one

it's that easy to find a person you can love and that loves you right back? i envy you for that, because i think it's the rarest thing.

"We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school"

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[–] stf092 14 years ago

it's not easy...but i'd rather dump the one that cheated me than stay with her.

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[–] joli1921 13 years ago

Well, your English is certainly flawless for a non-native speaker! (saw from your review that you're Austrian) Congrats!
Apart from that: I agree with you completely!
To me jealousy usually is nothing more than a lack of trust in the partner.
In this film we can see it first-hand: Joanna made such a big scene because she was the one unsure of her feelings. Michael was very happy in his marriage and with her and I believe that he would not have cheated on her, were it not for her questioning everything the evening before his trip.
The question was asked what was worse: emotional or physical cheating? In my opinion definitely emotional. When all is said and done, sex is just sex, but if my partner had made an emotional connection with someone else, it would be more difficult to come back from that. Not because I couldn't forgive it, but because there would be a third person in our relationship.
And in this movie I also thought that Joanna's way of "cheating" will probably turn out to be more detrimental to their marriage than what Michael did.

Had I been told earlier that sharing a sense of humor was so vital, I could've avoided a lot of sex

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[–] shurbanm 12 years ago

very nicely said.

the drive to uphold monogamy is also driven mostly by insecurity in oneself. people cannot accept that their partner sees somebody that may be superior than themselves in some quality or indeed all qualities...

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[–] shurbanm 12 years ago

why not?

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