MovieChat Forums > Bangkok Dangerous (2008) Discussion > 100 things we learnt from 'Bangkok Dange...

100 things we learnt from 'Bangkok Dangerous'

posted 16 years ago by spam-1420
110 replies | jump to latest

No "what we learnt from..."-thread? Though this was such a "WTF?" movie.

Well...

What I learnt from Bangkok Dangerous:

1. If 10 elite snipers shoot at one person for one minute they will all miss.
2. If you're on a date and you get mugged, shoot the robbers after you've knocked them out. Your date will understand.
3. All you need to know in order to assassinate well-guarded gangsters is a picture of what they look like.
4. Nobody - not even VIPs with a million security guards - has bullet-proofed cars in Thailand.
5.If your standing at a wall of water barrels, start shooting at each other while walking at the same pace, instead of running around.
6. Guarding towers have no protection at all. The guards just stand there, waiting to be shot.
7. If you want to get a secret out of someone, tell them that you're gonna cut their girlfriend's boobs off.

...

[–] debonair-love 16 years ago

64. They do not educate assassins on the threat of old women in floating markets in assassin school.

65. They should educate assassins on the threat of old women in floating markets in assassin school.

[–] Pixanaut 16 years ago

66. There are cute pharmacists in Thailand

67. It only takes two weeks to learn the assassin's trade.

68. Nic Cage's hair deserves a credit in the film.

[–] bottomzephyr 16 years ago

69. Bathtubs are indestructible, and thus are a perfect place to position yourself when setting off bombs.

[–] alexander-iv 16 years ago

70. If you want to kill someone and make it look like and accident, drown them in their own pool, in which they swim daily. The police will think the victim probably could not swim and his first try at it turned out differently than he thought it would.

71. Mastering the forgotten art of Wushu is imperative to becoming a modern-day assassin.

72. The original name of the movie was "Dangerous Bangkok", however, the intern who was in charge of writing the title accidentally flipped the words around. When the producer noticed the mistake, he did not care enough to fix it. (This should be in "goofs" section)

[–] jamasian_man 16 years ago

73. If there is a grenade, throw your opponent directly at it to protect yourself. Do this with anyone you don't like too.

74. When badguys invade your house and blow it up, go to their place and kill everyone there.

[–] jdmiller_84 16 years ago

75. When knocked off your motorbike and beaten by numerous guys, have the presence of mind to slash everyone's legs.

76. When in Bangkok you can get your leg slashed and be able to run at full speed.

77. Knowing that she can not ask how may I help you A mute pharmacist will instead walk up to you and just stare at you while you ask questions.

78. Exotic dancers are the best middlemen to use when exchanging information to assassins.

79. If a bush ever gets to big in Bangkock set up a row of watermelon and have someone shot at them, every bullet will hit and trim the branches.

[–] MelvinNerdly 16 years ago

80. That 'learnt' is a word.

[–] Drughie 16 years ago

80. In thailand, "special" girls parents only ask the guy his job even if he is a foreign man and much more older than your daughter..and with a stupid hair!!

81. Despite you watch a movie, that you know even before that sucks, you can always come to imdb forum and laugh about it!

[–] TheBeachspotting 16 years ago

82. Bullets will pierce through an adult male body and then through a boat then straight through the water. But they have a hard time penetrating through stacks of water jugs.

"In a thousand years, there will be no men and women, just wankers, and that's fine by me."

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] dorianb 16 years ago

83. When moving parallel with someone at the same speed, it will be impossible for them to shoot you or the opposite.

84. When a car is getting away, it is better to run at it, and then shoot, rather than shooting immediately.

85. When you put a knife to someones throat they will think it is cool and ask you to tell them more.

86. The best way to remain anonymous in a foreign country is to tell the first lacky you meet to come to your secret lair, before he even proves himself, instead of to a neutral location.

87. A trained assassin who has operated for years without getting caught will not have enough restraint to hold back from shooting petty criminals.

88. In Thailand, it is safe to shoot of guns in your backyard everyday, because there is no chance anyone will notice.

89. When executing a risky assassination, it is always good to leave your passports back at the house, so you cannot leave the country immediately if anything goes wrong.

90. When you are behind someone, it is better to run by them to spook them, then to just shoot them.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] Kryotu 16 years ago

91. How to curve a bullet

"The closer you get to the light, the larger your shadow becomes" - Kingdom Hearts

[–] kmh12177 16 years ago

'Learnt' is a word. Look it up Melvin.

[–] Bouch1313 16 years ago

92. When looking through a scope from a stationary position, expect to be able to see your target through that scope from many different angles as well as much closer than the actual zoom on your scope.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] zeroxore 16 years ago

93. If you look into the eyes of an asian, you see yourself as one.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] karym6 16 years ago

95. Anything else is always something better.

(thats actually from Cocktail).

[–] mocorn 16 years ago

96. When your on a high profile mission to take out a known politician surrounded by sniperteams on the rooftops it is not a bad idea to stick your rifle out the window so that its visible from the outside, also, do not make sure your face dont stand out like a glowstick in the dark trough the glass.

97. Everyone knows who he is!

98. Whilst practising wing chun (the arm against arm movements) make sure you look absentmindedly to the side with a bored expression, your not there to teach anyone anything, period.

99. When motorbiking your shoulder into ironbars just after a cilivan has seen you prep the gun, do not return to the scene afterwards to clean up the blood on the bars, that will eventually settle itself.

100. Hitmen have cool hair!

[–] bekanntgabe 16 years ago

101. You read 100 reasons on imdb to not watch the film, and still watch it.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] thedukeofwales1 16 years ago

certainly not proper english "learnt"???????????

[–] official-jab 16 years ago

That people that dislike Bangkok Dangerous need spelling and grammar lessons.

-They may kick our ass, but they'll never kick our freedom!

[–] judd_clarke 16 years ago

1042. Upside down elephants are good luck in Thailand

1043. If you're a Thai gangster planning a hit, the most inconspicous person to hire would be a 6 foot plus something white man with a ridiculous haircut.

1044. The best way to attract a Thai lady is to loom over them with a constipated look on your face.

My review of Hellboy II: The Golden Army www.igloooftheuncanny.blogspot.com

[–] chiponmashoulda 16 years ago

105. nicholas cage can drown somebody in the water even though he was in the water, and he has an incredible lung capacity to be able to go to his target breathless than keep his target submerged while submerged himself

www.myspace.com/albeaglesfan4791

[–] judd_clarke 16 years ago

106. Throwing heroin at elephants is good luck in Thailand.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] dimejiusman 15 years ago

haha I love 117, lol

[–] FrizBTau 14 years ago

114. One can of beer is the best remedy for deep cuts and bone fractures after a mugging, even though Nicolas Cage had just been to the pharmacist and had actual medicine for his own skin abrasion which he could have shared.

Good one Third-Age-Mage, Love it.

[–] iced_heart7 16 years ago

119. Hitting a watermelon with a gun from a short distance is apparently a hard task. You will eventually succeed in a couple of days...when that happens, it means you're getting really good at shooting.

120. Cute mute pharmacists in Thailand go out on a date with guys they know nothing about. After a couple of dates, they probably still won't know much about the guy (except he doesn't like spicy food, has obviously never seen a living elephant and is maybe an American), but will decide that it's the perfect time to meet him with the parents and present him.

121. The banker's job is a "good job".

[–] teysosweet 16 years ago

122. When on a top assassination job, you always have time to go on dates with foreign mute girls and meet their parents.

123. Nicholas Cage has a hard time meeting Asian women unlike Steven Seagall.

[–] keralucu 16 years ago

Good one, spam-1420! I never comment on imdb, but had to put in my 2 cents worth here. Just watched Bangkok Dangerous and thought it was crap... Here's why:

I'm from Bangkok and I can say that this movie was only about showing the tourist sights of Bangkok to the international audiences and not much else. I haven't seen the original film yet, but from what I gather the original plot is nothing like the remake. I don't understand why the Pang Bros didn't just stick to their original formula which seems to have gone been a hit.

The most unbelievable scene is when he does the hit at the Floating Market... As a professional, supposedly invisible, hitman, why would you put yourself in such an unsafe situation with so many unforeseen variables? The fact that he did manage to shoot the guy and then get away without being seen and still continue wandering around Bangkok with no repercussions is laughable.

I can guarantee that no statesmen in Thailand are ever honoured with parades, nor do they drive around in open convertibles!

I do have to comment on your Pt 4 though - many people in Thailand DO drive around in bullet-proof vehicles... they have to, otherwise they might get shot in Bangkok traffic by a motorcycle hitman! (It has happened before... really!)

What did I learn from this movie? I should trust my better judgement from now on when it comes to Nick Cage movies!

[–] MrWow 16 years ago

124. When a grenade is put to a dual purpose, such as blowing open a flimsy wooden door that the people you are trying to rescue are crouched directly behind while simultaneously blowing the body of your antagonist apart while you are crouched directly behind it, the grenade will blow up immediately upon removal of the pin. I guess that means you don't have to hold the dude there while you count to five.

[–] quincytrojan30 16 years ago

125. You can use Elephants in the Cartel trade: 1st you feed them then you "pass the goods" by placing smack into a floatation device and pushing them across the pond.

126. All Elephants look the same (Big a$$ greasy noses...beedy little eyes..badunka dunks!)

[–] cyclgrrl 16 years ago

127. Any movie with Asian guys will eventually trot out one with white frosted hair.

128. Nic Cage's hair grows exponentially worse - and in direct proportion to how hard the crew works to make it look better.

This thread was hilarious up to about #60. I was laughing out loud. Got stupid after that, more or less. Loved the movie by the way.

[–] AirNL 16 years ago

129. Loyal drivers never stop working. Even when theyre dead.

130. Executing people on a date doesn't get you where you want.

[–] egingell 16 years ago

131. Security guards will open fire on you for sitting in a window overlooking a parade without confirming your intentions.
132. Putting a hat on changes your entire appearance.
133. Exploding paint cans at point blank range will not kill you.
134. Everybody is bad for someone.
135. Everybody in Thailand drives a Toyota.

[–] psalm51 16 years ago

136. Little girls can go out at night by themselves into traffic.
137. Always trust a deaf pharmicist.
138.Eating grass will cool your tongue!!

[–] GrundleMan81 16 years ago

139. If Neo and White Goodman hooked up and conceived a baby, that baby would not even be able to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge bullets like Nick Cage.

[–] andelon 14 years ago

141. This film is NOT about the death of David Carradine.
142. Nobody in Thai law enforcement can shoot for *beep*
143. Every young Asian Lad reading this should Peroxide his hair white immediately.
......It looks Way cool.
144. You can get some really nifty wristwatches these days...

"and I ain't never seen no Queen in her damned Undies, as the feller says..."

[–] nickn07 16 years ago

140. When the thug who hires you to murder 4 people breaks the agreement and tries to learn more about you, give him another chance – what could possibly go wrong?