"The big guys gonna cornhole that ass! With his weiner!"
-Jay
ah funniest line in any movie.
Account was deleted - EPITAPH6
how about this one.
Fireman: What the *beep*?
[the donkey brays as the Police Officer sees Randal's "Porch Monkey 4 Life" shirt]
Officer: [shouting] PORCH MONKEY?
Randal Graves: Oh, no no, it's cool, I'm taking it back.
it cracks me up everytime.
Would you *beep* me...? I would *beep* me, I would *beep* me hard!"
Elias: "I turn down chicks left and right"
Randall: "Your chicks are your left and right"
As most of the lines in the movie, it s the delivery that gets you. 50% of the jokes ride on the delivery.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
"I miss my donkey"
shareThere's a hilarious line by Jay in the deleted/extended scenes.
It's the prison scene, just when Jay finds out that Dante *beep* Becky.
Jay: "The girl with the big big titties? Yo! How was she? She looks like she could *beep* a mormon into monogamy!"
Randall: "What?"
"I did not care for the Godfather" - Peter Griffin
It's like asking me to choose between my children.
Becky, "Hey, twelve step."
Jay, "Lord?"
I have a friend at work who belches really loud, and every time she does, I look up and say "Lord?"
When danger reared its ugly head he bravely turned his tail and fled.
There's a hilarious line by Jay in the deleted/extended scenes.
It's the prison scene, just when Jay finds out that Dante *beep* Becky.
Jay: "The girl with the big big titties? Yo! How was she? She looks like she could *beep* a mormon into monogamy!"
Randall: "What?"
Drunk Elias: "Fück Pillowpants!"
Or the scene when Randall starts singing that grunge song and Elias runs and Jay pop out of the window and starts singing it too. I almost peed my pants, it was so funny.
“It's all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass."-- Veronica Mars
The deleted scene on the dvd where Dante and Randal are in teh car coming back from Go-Carting and they begin to talk about Dante jerking off in the restroom.Randal was so funny in that entire scene especially when he say
'What are you gonna tell the little inbred retard with the beady eyes and the limp that his intelect can possibly process.Sorry brother-son but mother-wife and i couldnt break with rome on the whole pro-life issue when you were still a malformed zygote.You'd break his *beep* brains.He'd probably go all sex nuts and retard strong and try to stick your dick in his mouth,thinking thats what families are supposed to do with each other.*beep* and Suck.'
It was just how he said it all that made me crack up.I dont get why that was deleted it was so funny.
Sic Parvis Magna 'Greatness from small beginings'
"You can't bring me down today, Randall, I'm in too good a mood."
"Why? because your Mom slipped you the tongue?"
Laughed like a loon over that one. Elias was a hoot.
"I want to see if a chick with a mouth full of donkey spunk swallows."
shareAll the dialogues are funny as hell. Simply great.
Randall: May your first child be a masculine child.
man best has gotta be the anne frank stuff! cant beleive noones said it yet!
and "one ring to rule them all......"
It's not really a line, but rewatching the movie today, I noticed Elias's face when Randell told him about the donkey show. He just a face of pure disgust and bewildermint that I thought was completely hilarious and the act that he hled it for probably close to ten seconds, until Randell said about the Optimus Prime "pictues".
That whole thing was completely hilarious.
My tag shall be frozen in carbonite, in the Mooby's steel cage match of the mighty donkey show, in downtown Leonardo. Snoogans vs. Snootch to the nootch
[deleted]
Elias: "Not the Rings, Randall. Say what you will about Jesus, but leave the Rings out of this."
HAHA
What can I do for you you little porch monkey?
Mom is pissed
it's okay I'm taking it back.
We wouldve had sex if it wasn't for pillow pants.
rainman nearly bankrupted a casino, and he was a reh-tard
YES! Thank you - I nearly died laughing at that scene - Elias was great
I watched 4 series of Lassie before I realised why the little hairy kid didn't talk!
Just about anything with Randall and Elias....but by far my fav is the whole Pillow Pants/Listerfiend troll conversation, I was quoting that for weeks after with my sister!
shareNaming the "pussy troll" Pillow Pants is a stroke of pure genius. I don't know why that is but it is.
When asked about it Kevin Smith talked about coming up with the idea for a pussy troll (they where trying to think of reasons Mewes new Christian g/f wouldn't let him *beep* her.) They came up with the "pussy troll" idea and Kevin said it's name would HAVE to be "Pillow Pants". That name is just sooooooo out of left field, it's hilarious.
-Yoda
My grandmother always had the utmost respect for the Jewish community. She said that they would put the Shini curse on me.
OOOoooOOO THAT'S A BINGO!
"Eww... you *beep* the guy who owns Mooby's?"
shareJay: "Quick, now hit that two-timing f_ck with this!!"
Mr. Pink: You shoot anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?
the scene when dante is running outside with emma after she tells him she has a surprise for him and when they go outside, jay has his coat wide open dancing and singing "goodbye horses" (spoof of silence of the lambs scene) and dante asks, "That's my surprise?"
LOL