Funniest line? - Clerks II (2006) Discussion

[–] VeirsTallis 16 years ago

"What are you doing, Randall?"
"Getting Dante a sexy surprise send-off."
"Well, you could get him a limited-edition Arwen sword."
"Why would I do that?"
"Well, what's sexier than an elf princess' sword?"
"A donkey show."

Mostly because I've seen an Arwen sword on the Sky Mall magazine every time I've flown since five years ago.

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[–] TaddWinter 16 years ago

My opinion the best line from the movie is one I doubt anyone would say. I don't know why but this line cracked me up.

"I miss my donkey"

"I will pull your endocrine system out of your body."

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] z-brown33 16 years ago

ooh cake.

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[–] bitch-22 13 years ago

That line kills me every time!

"Rock is dead! Long live Paper and Scissors!"

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[–] klayboy96 10 years ago

My favorite to.

"Is it dead?" - Rocco

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[–] A_Dance_with_Charles 16 years ago

Oh, what up! Steel cage match!

For some reason that just cracks me up.

---
Look at me I have an intelligent quote about life and society from an overrated movie.

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[–] jkward88 16 years ago

Ass To Mouth...need I say more?

If someone asks if you are a god, you say, "yes!"

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[–] paytonh1010 16 years ago

"Yo, this taste like flies and piss..."

Lmfao, cracks me up every time.

Top 3 Films

1. American History X
2. The Dark Knight
3. American Beauty

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[–] skippydouche 13 years ago

You never go ass to mouth.....

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[–] falcon2484 13 years ago

Sometimes when you watch a movie more than once, you catch things that make you break up for no particular reason. Kevin must've worked hard to come up with a really funny script, and practically every line in this movie is great. But the thing that broke me up most when I watched it last time was the part where they first show Jay and Silent Bob; SB throws Jay a Red Bull (as if Jay needs to have a little more energy), Jay takes a couple swallows, then drop-kicks the can and yells, "Get the f|uck outta here!!" Don't ask me why, but I thought that action was hilarious.

The Falcon flies

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[–] mlm82892 15 years ago

"Or they can make a hard plastic cage like Magneto's in X-Men 2."
-Jay

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[–] profundity 16 years ago

"Well as you know my online handle is OptimusPrime"

"I know that; I wish I didn't".

Just the way he delivers it is so flawless.

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] shelley_1974 16 years ago

Elias' delivery of almost every line he has is flawless and his face is enough to crack me up ... like when he tells Randall about Listerfiend and then rolls his eyes and says "Women ..."

I think I was saying "I'm taking it back" for months after seeing this opening day. Much love for Randall - he has the best dialogue in both Clerks movies.

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[–] victoriaversailles 16 years ago

All the LOTR vs SW dialogue because I HATE Lord of the Rings.
The two lines that are most quoted by me I have to say are
1) Jay's "fifteen bucks, little man, put that *beep* in my hand" song
2) "So since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randall!"

------
Sal...Wyoming's not a country.

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[–] irbka5 16 years ago

"how did you father a child from a women who is not your fience? Holly sh*t she got pregnant from the toilet seat your jerked off on i knew it!!!"

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] kippy_ 16 years ago

Someone already said my fave one so to keep it fresh:

"what is that a fuqin bible?!"

"Hey thats the HOLY fuqin bible"

I swear it's nearly as close to perfect that a movie can get!

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] TheEtherWalk 16 years ago

Come to think of it, my grandmother was kind of a racist.

A man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident.

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[–] robi1138-1 16 years ago

Randall: "She became persona non-nookie to me the minute you started diddling her pooter"

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[–] alienjesus 14 years ago

Also, jay and silent bob's intro was epic. I always laugh when he kicks the can.

"get the **** out of here!"

Kinda OT, but can anyone tell me the song he was playing on the boombox during that?

A black pool opened up at my feet. I dived in. It had no bottom.

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[–] Kombat_Karl 16 years ago

My one and only favorite line is

"Yo, Freddie *beep* Mercury, where's Kelly?"

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[–] Jassim1985 16 years ago

Randal: One semester,we took criminology, for christ sake.
what the fuqk were we training to be , "BATMAN" ?

that was one of the funniest lines in the movie.

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[–] 16 years ago

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[–] m_pettersen91 16 years ago

The most awsome moment is when Jay says "Im *beep* bored man!"
Then Silent Bob gets the boom blaster and plays "Goddbye Horses"
Jay goes with the tune: "Would you *beep* me...? I would *beep* me, i would *beep* me hard!"
And then he starts rubbin' his nipples:D

Priceless!!

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[–] jcperezjr 16 years ago

Jay: Yo if you're gonna jump, let me get a crack at the pussy first.

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[–] noobsaibot1 16 years ago

Did Randall just call Mr. Dante a *beep*

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[–] iankerr50-1 16 years ago

Randal: That look was so gay. I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his *beep* *beep* Now that would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.

Hobbit Lover: Hey *beep* they're not gay! They're hobbits!

Randal: And then, right after the Sam/Frodo suckfest, right before the credits roll, Sam *beep* flat out bricks in Frodo's mouth

That entire scene is epic. I agree with everything Randal says about LOTR and the trilogy, and I almost died of laughter when Hobbit Lover threw up.

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[–] koffeenkreame41-1 10 years ago

Randal: That look was so gay. I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his *beep* *beep* Now that would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.

Hobbit Lover: Hey *beep* they're not gay! They're hobbits!

Randal: And then, right after the Sam/Frodo suckfest, right before the credits roll, Sam *beep* flat out bricks in Frodo's mouth

That entire scene is epic. I agree with everything Randal says about LOTR and the trilogy, and I almost died of laughter when Hobbit Lover threw up.

^^This. I agree, that scene was so damn funny haha 

"I'm the ultimate badass,you do NOT wanna f-ck wit me!"Hudson,Aliens😬

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[–] aedt89 16 years ago

"Sure" along with his horrified facial expression spoken by Randal when Elias is explaining the pussy troll.

And Viddy Films I Would

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