MovieChat Forums > Hitch (2005) Discussion > If I could give one piece of dating advi...

If I could give one piece of dating advice to the ladies it would be ...

posted 18 years ago by mountain_walrus
52 replies | jump to latest

I am a single male in my mid 20's. If I could give ladies one peice of advice about dating it would be this:

When a guy asks you out on a date, respond to him with one of the following answers:

Option 1. Yes

Use this option if you would like to go on a date with the guy and you will be available.

Option 2. "No, I am not available, but ask me out another time." or "I'm not available this weekend, but I will be available next week."

Use this option if you would like to go on a date with the guy but you truly are not available. If you want to explain why you can't make it, then that is just fine, but it's not good enough if you are interested in the date. You should encourage the guy to ask you out another time.

Option 3. "No, I won't be able to go, but thank you for asking!"

Use this option if you do not want to go out with the guy. Notice that this option does not involve any excuses. Even if you really do have a valid excuse, if you don't want to go out with the guy, don't use the excuse. Don't give an excuse here under any conditions.

Those are the only three options you should resopnd with ladies.

Stop lying and saying that you "are going out of town" or that you "already have plans" if you don't.

99 % of women do not follow this advice and it is SOOOOOO annoying and painful for the guys.

Instead they lie and come up with an excuse that seems pretty valid.

You are not making the rejection any easier by giving excuses.

In fact, you are making it much worse. If you come up with an excuse but you really aren't interested, then the guy will ask you out again and you will have to reject him all over again. Then instead of just being shut down once, the guy gets shut down twice or more if he tries again.

If you say, "No, but thanks for asking," you are still being nice. You say no, but you quickly change the subject by saying thank you. This turns a negative answer into a polite answer.

If you know that you are going to reject the guy in the future anyway, you might as well just say no and get it over with so you don't have to prolong the rejection. It is nicer to the guy.

On the other hand, maybe ladies just love rejecting guys and seeing them in pain. So that is why they come up with excuses.

In the long run, it will be better for you as well because you won't have lies on your conscious and guys will get the hint quicker, so it won't be as ackward because they won't keep calling.

Have some consideration for the guy who is putting himself out there and use one of these three options instead of lying to temporarily make yourself feel more comfortable.

Lying might make you more comfortable for a couple of seconds, but it will make things much more uncomfortable for you in the long run.

Ladies, I could be way off with this opinion, though. If I am wrong, then let me know why. I am all ears.

If you could give one piece of dating advice to guys, what would it be?

[–] Drop_Dead_Go 17 years ago

to the op

can you honestly say that if you asked someone out and they replied with just a "no thanks" that you wouldn't be more hurt then if they came up with a valid reason. Just saying no seems like a real bitchy way to handle it and I think thats how most women feel about that, so thats why they might make excuses.

[–] irishguy977 17 years ago

OP,

My advice to you is grow some nuts and accept a denial from a woman no matter how they choose to respond to your flirting. Dwelling too hard on the way she told you off will only add unnecessary stress. There really is no way to let someone down easily. "No, I won't be able to go, but thank you for asking!" To me that pretty much is still saying, "F *ck off." No matter how mean or nice the girl tells you off the message is still clear. Leave me alone. If it happens again, just move on dude. Get another beer and don't let it ruin your whole evening.

www.myspace.com/irishguy977

[–] dnarasimham 17 years ago

Man, this idealistic uptopia you refer to would take the fun out of the chase. If women made it this easy, we would all be getting a lot more action than we currently are getting or not getting.

"I use racism as a tool to combat other racists" - homeopt

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] thekylemc 17 years ago

no replys needed people..the original post pretty much covers it

myspace.com/neondarkstar

[–] BulletHeadedSaxonMothersSon 17 years ago

no replys needed people..the original post pretty much covers it

Agreed. What he is asking for is not at all too much to ask and posters like nobleeagle-1 completely dodged the point of his post.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Charlie_Runkle69 17 years ago

To K Ann 86: If the guy is really into after one date, there is NOTHING you can say when your reject that won't get his feelings hurt.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Charlie_Runkle69 17 years ago

yea but if you leave it too long she will view you as a friend only.

I still think woman are difficult to read....as they are all different!

I think the reality is that a guy doesn't want to waste time on a girl he can never be with. he doesn't mind being friends with her, but he wants to know where he stands on a relationship.

[–] frogca 16 years ago

Okay, the original poster is not around, but I (female) agree his suggested answers are very nice, straightforward, and polite.

So, I think he should look for a girl who's nice, straightforward and polite. There are some out there. However, many people find it impossible to say "No" directly. Those people will never answer that way. Many people fear conflict. They, too, will probably not answer that way. Many people like to play games. They also will not answer that way. All these people will answer how they want, and the original poster should date someone else.

My advice is pay attention and think about a wider context than yourself. Try to understand the world, because people are damn complicated and most working assumptions will be proven wrong eventually. Use your mind to help you find the right person for you. If you are let by emotions only, you will get even more hurt than if you take a smarter approach.

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] omoxus 15 years ago

1. Men think and see. Women hear and feel.
2. Drop the barriers and meet somewhere in the middle.
3. There is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship.
4. Stop listening to other people's advice.
5. If #4 doesn't work. Start all over again at #1

Im the Alpha and the Omoxus. The Omoxus and the Omega