The movie that ruined almost - The Notebook (2004) Discussion

[–] kathiwyatt 11 years ago

The movie was based on the real life of Nicholas Sparks' wife's grandparents. I know Hollywood dressed it up and added more drama to it, but it was also set in a time that is totally foreign to a lot of people. Read the book - its always much better.

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[–] JW-7 11 years ago

Actually the book and film are a perfect meld. The focus of the movie is different, but the book fleshes out a few more details and provides perfect accompaniment to the movie.

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[–] dp021904 11 years ago

Or maybe you need to put in a little effort and stop expecting women to swoon over you picking them up in skinny jeans in your Prius to take them to Applebee's followed by whatever movie you want to see... every Friday night.

Noah made Allie feel special and loved, and Allie made Noah happy- that doesn't require renovating a plantation, going to war, parental disapproval, or writing 365 letters. It requires time, patience, and commitment. A little creativity to keep the spark alive doesn't hurt either.

But yes, blame women.

"Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream..."

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[–] TyrelLynes 11 years ago

Who said anything about women swooning over me because of skinny jeans and a *beep* date? All I'm saying is women need to literally stop holding expectations up to this movie when it come to relationships. I've known ladies that have been dissatisfied with their relationship because it wasn't like the notebook. I know this because they vocally express it. That's like me being dissatisfied with a relationship because the sex isn't like the hardcore porn you see on the internet.

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[–] 11 years ago

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[–] danagolightly 11 years ago

I like how this thread went from The Notebook to skinny jeans and hardcore porn. LOL

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[–] Flabulous 10 years ago

As far as I can see, his analogy remains valid while your observation adds nothing to the debate

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[–] duongdogg 8 years ago

That is the way to go.

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[–] mldardar 10 years ago

So you're saying every women that has turned down your advances has watched this movie, and was influenced/brainwashed by it? That would suggest mass hypnosis, but there are many women who never saw or heard of this movie. Maybe you've been brainwashed by movies of the American Pie genre. News flash: They are pure fantasy, maybe how teen boys wish the world was. Don't blame a movie for your inabilities to attract a woman. If I found myself in your situation, I'd try to take some pointers from The Notebook rather than trying to convince/de-program the entire female population not to believe it, and that you're the dude for them. Actually, I believe there's someone for everyone, and not necessarily only one. You just gave up to soon. Your Miss Right is out there looking for you, whether or not she saw The Notebook.

Under our clothes, we are all naked!

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[–] Sekraan 9 years ago

So you're saying every women that has turned down your advances has watched this movie, and was influenced/brainwashed by it?

Reading comprehension doesn't seem to be your strong suit. Either that or you read the title of the thread and then proceeded to write a post explaining what the OP is saying without actually reading what he wrote.

Your entire post is a non sequitur.

Here is what the thread starter actually said [emphasis added]:

the vast majority of girls I have dated since high school are really just looking for this cookie cutter, formulaic relationship

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[–] gfarasheva 8 years ago

Spot on! I gave this movie 1/10 because of how sappy and unrealistic it is. If you've ever known true love, you would know. Unfortunately nowadays most people haven't experienced it so they're blinded by this fantasy. Similar problem with the Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey movies!

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[–] DevilzRox 11 years ago

Or maybe you need to put in a little effort and stop expecting women to swoon over you picking them up in skinny jeans in your Prius to take them to Applebee's followed by whatever movie you want to see... every Friday night.

A guy picked you up for a date in a Prius? What an absolute c vnt

Are you okay?

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[–] dp021904 11 years ago

A guy picked you up for a date in a Prius? What an absolute c vnt

Are you okay?

I survived. The Prius is not the issue. The point is that men expect women to swoon over normal everyday things. That doesn't happen.

Noah worked for Allie's affections. He went out of his way to make her feel wanted, and desired, and when he was left without a glimmer of hope for her return he used his family's life savings and his GI money to buy and restore an old house that held tremendous sentimental value for both of them. He never let himself fall in love with another woman because he was holding out for the day she would return to him. He was committed beyond measure.

Romance doesn't have to be expensive. When I flew from New York to California for the first time, my boyfriend (now husband of 10 years) made me promise to stop and put my foot into the Atlantic Ocean before I left and then drove me straight from the airport to the Pacific Ocean so I had my foot in both oceans in the same day. Silly? Maybe. Romantic? Hell yeah. When he was deployed with the Marines, he wrote me a letter everyday for a year, then another year, then another. He expects me to swoon because he does things that are, well, swoonworthy.

Does he pick me up, take me to the Outback Steakhouse, play Words With Friends during dinner and then get upset when I don't break out into tears of joy? No.

In all seriousness though, Outback Steakhouse is great. Just don't expect swooning.

"Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream..."

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[–] DevilzRox 11 years ago

Yeah but I think you might be generalising men a little here. Not all men want women to swoon, you know? If anything, society teaches men that women want "fancy" things rather than from-the-heart self-created (yet affordable) romantic gestures. A lot of women I have encountered *do* want costly shows of affection, and have felt "cheapened" by more thoughtful, yet less opulent, gifts/gestures.

However you seem to contradict yourself with the Prius comment. I mean Priuses are not exactly cool cars, not like Mustangs or Ferraris, for example. So I don't get why you think a guy would expect you to "swoon" over one. Was it that you were not impressed with it, and wished that they'd picked you up in a "sexier" car? I'm confused.

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[–] dp021904 11 years ago

IMHO, the original poster is looking for a woman to swoon-

Ladies need a reality check. This isn't real life. This isn't how love is supposed to be. This is a book/movie.

I disagree with the idea that the love story in The Notebook is somehow impossible today because women are delusional, which seemed like his implication.

The Prius was the first car that popped into mind, because a long-time friend bought a Prius a few years ago because he thought women would like it. He's driven F-150's since high school and now he's in a Prius. (Sidenote: It hasn't helped him with women.)

Whether the OP had a Prius or a '94 Ford Taurus or a Ferrari or a bicycle, the idea is that if he is non-creative, boring, and inattentive in his relationship, then he will absolutely NEVER have what Noah and Allie had in The Notebook.

Women do not care about your car. Gold diggers care about your car. Women do not care about expensive gifts. Gold diggers do.

I can speak only for myself because I don't date women. I imagine that just as there are nice guys out there but the cheating jerks ruin it for everyone - there are good women out there and a few btches/gold diggers are ruining it for you two.

With a good woman, there are plenty of ways to floor her in a non-expensive way.

When you're at a normal store (think: Target) pay attention to what she's looking at. Let's say she picks up a pretty picture frame with rhinestones on it and admires it for a few minutes, maybe she even verbally considers buying it. Go back later that day, without her, and buy the frame.

Put that frame in a little bag, and hold onto it for a week or two before giving it to her in a cute way.. If you live together, hang the bag in her closet or leave it on the counter in the bathroom so she'll see it when she goes in the shower. If you're still dating, leave the bag on the passenger seat so it will be there when she gets in. For $10 she'll be blown away and know that you're really paying attention to her.

Remember her favorite dish from the Chinese restaurant (bonus points if she takes it a certain way - no bean sprouts, extra soy sauce, whatever) and pick it up on your way home (or your way over) for a movie night. Don't call and ask her if she wants it, just get it. Women like a man who takes control in positive and unexpected ways, and who pays attention to the things that she really loves. (I'll keep this PG.)

*Apologies to any Prius owners who were offended by my earlier post.

"Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream..."

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[–] 11 years ago

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[–] jeffer23 11 years ago

Most people call others Gold Diggers while the majority of them would also be Gold Diggers in a heartbeat if opportunity occurred. It is the unfortunate result of our screwed up values. These screwed up values also existed in the past.

Noah proved himself to not be a Gold Digger in the movie. He spent his time becoming a wood craftsman and a simple life. He waited for Allie to come back to him rather than selling his house and chasing after her.

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[–] 11 years ago

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[–] jeffer23 11 years ago

I am a troll huh. One can look at my posts and see that I am active on multiple boards and simply provided an opinion.

I didn't specifically call you a Gold Digger since I obviously don't know you. I said "most people" .

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[–] 11 years ago

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[–] jeffer23 11 years ago

Now we know who the troll is. Goodbye.

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[–] 11 years ago

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[–] caroleanne 8 years ago

It's so annoying when you post a real opinion on a message board and you get labeled a troll. Ugh. It pissed me off too. I was also called a "lonely 40-year-old who needed to vent". Lol

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[–] LovesConfusingJoy 10 years ago

Great post

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[–] LovesConfusingJoy 10 years ago

Then pay more attention to who you date

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[–] RedHead0186 10 years ago

Yeah but I think you might be generalising men a little here

Right, that's the issue here. The OP is generalizing all women, and the other poster is generalizing all men. Sure, there are women out there who expect their lives to be like this movie, and there are men out there that expect women to fawn over them for whatever reason. But, that's not everyone.

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[–] LovesConfusingJoy 10 years ago

I do think we have lost the meaning of romance.

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[–] bulbastre 10 years ago

I think it'd be better if he wasn't in the marines for starters.

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[–] Flabulous 10 years ago

Or maybe you need to put in a little effort and stop expecting women to swoon over you picking them up in skinny jeans in your Prius to take them to Applebee's followed by whatever movie you want to see... every Friday night.

Op didn't say that nor imply it. You've just invented it.

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[–] danagolightly 11 years ago

I don't believe I have ever met anyone since the film came out who has ever said,"My relationship is NOTHING like The Notebook!" Or blamed the film itself for their relationship issues. If I did, I'd tell them they need to go talk to someone. lol

The film was from a book, which was based on a real life couple. Pretty simple. People who use it as a tool for their own marriage/relationship always have issues in said relationship.

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[–] BillyBeefcake 11 years ago

Buddy I hear ya!

The problem is the Millennial Generation as a whole. The majority of them live in a fantasty world anyway that they have a hard time seperating reality from.

Coming from a guy that's been married for close to 20 years, trust me when I tell you I am glad as hell I'm not having to date and find someone in these days and age.

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[–] NYYfanlife90 11 years ago

This is why I kind of wish I didn't grow up in this generation. I'm 23, and dating is ridiculous nowadays.

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[–] AScott20 10 years ago

And I think men of those days took
More time courting a woman and spending time with her instead if wondering when the woman was gonna give it up..just saying:-)

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[–] Groveful 10 years ago

I dated a girl for a long time and after a while we started to fight basically all the time. Anyway, to get to the point: she once came back from hanging out with friends after watching The Notebook and says "I feel much better about our relationship now," and then begins to explain why. We had a disastrously unhealthy relationship and because she saw something 'somewhat' similar in The Notebook, deemed 'romantic', she felt a lot better about something she shouldn't have. The way people let fiction like this alter perceptions about real life is depressing as hell to me...

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[–] LovesConfusingJoy 10 years ago

Well you are the one that dated her

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[–] Groveful 10 years ago

This is true. People make mistakes--that wasn't the point I was trying to make, 'though.

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[–] J_mac_Attack2000 10 years ago

I've been married for 5 and a half years now, and on relflection....I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to make my wife fall in love with me. I guess she just loved me for me. I don't remember doing any over the top romatic gestures for her or anything. Not that I don't lover her, I do, but I'm just your everyday ordinary dude I guess. I take her out to dinner and the movies all of the time, and she's never voiced a complaint over it. In fact, she loves going to the movies. To add to that, we have a 3 year old son, and going to the movie theater has become a few and far between thing, so whenever we go to the movies it's like a special treat. We do other things though, like explore different towns, and places we've never been, and go to different festivals, fairs, events, whatever.. In all honesty, we don't really do a lot of "romantic" things together. As far as I know, our relationship is still really great. The only other thing I'd like to add, is I think some women may have too high of standards for what romance is. Is dinner and movie the most creative date? No. But what makes it so bad? At least he's doing something nice for you. Maybe try telling him what you want to do, some guys (me included) don't really know how to create the perfect romanitic experience. Plus we're not mind readers....

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[–] saraleite-1 10 years ago

It's possible alright. I've experienced love like that. Sure, it's a movie and a lot of it probably rarely happens to anyone, but the events don't matter. For me, the movie is great because it shows how some people just click, you know? And how they care for each other. That's all it's really about. At least for me.

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[–] dp021904 10 years ago

For me, too. Romance is really nothing more than paying attention to someone's needs and what makes them happy.

I also like that the movie shows that they argued a lot- some people are ready to bail at the first argument.

 "Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream..."

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[–] JW-7 10 years ago

I think what you're saying is that you have to like someone, as well as love them. If you have that solid foundation, you can overcome arguments.

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