MovieChat Forums > Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999) Discussion > favorite quotes

favorite quotes

posted 20 years ago by mochito_ish
148 replies | jump to latest

not sure if this has been done before, but i just watched it again and i thought of all my favorite lines. here are a few:

loretta: for christ's sake amber, the woman clung to your tap shoes while flying through the air like a god damned lawn dart!

loretta: RIGHT BY THE AIRPORT!! OH AMBER!!

gladys: excuse me, miss penthouse 98, put your knees together. i could drive a boat show in there!

gladys: you get your ass up there! and show me some teeth!

becky: she's skinny, amber...not deaf.

amber: course...i hope i end up a little more like diane sawyer than my mom.

annette: yeah, well, if they ask you to take your top off, get the money first.

(the scene in the trailer with loretta and annette):
annette: all right, thats it, im cuttin ya out and sendin ya home, she's gotta go home...
loretta: what, i'm braggin up your kid here. amber's gonna be the next diane sawyer, ya know.
annette: they're makin a movie here, you don't know where this'll end up
loretta: i know they're makin a movie here
camera man: why do you think becky'll win?
loretta: why do i think becky'll win? Ow, don't pinch! you're talkin about the richest family in a small town. its front page news when one of 'em takes a *beep*
annette: oh, great.
loretta: so, can one of you boys give me a ride home?
annette: don't fall for it, she live two trailers down
lorettta: so, be real easy! anyone??
annette: go on home loretta, show's over.

terry macy: while we have not ruled out sabotage from neighboring state pageants...
colleen douglas: ohio, south dakota...that bitch from wisconsin!

hahahaha. this movie is great. does anyone know if there ever will be a special edition dvd???

[–] appypollyloggies 19 years ago

Japanese Man :"English! Speak English you stupid little retard!"

Iona Hildebrant:(After talking about lutefisk) "It's best served with lots of butter."

Amber: "Well this isn't an American Teen Princess Pageant! This... This... This is Nazi Germany!"

Gladys Leeman: "The communal wine just proves too tempting for some people!"
Iris Clark: "That's why we Lutherans use grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ."

Mayor: "Oh, Yeah, Frida, sure. She was the oldest living Lutheran. Now she's dead as a doornail. It's them d@mn Shriner's, won't take down the God d@mn sign the lazy sons of b*tches. Every year, every d@mn year I tell them, "Take down the God d@mn Frida sign, you lazy sons of b*tches!"

Annette :"Next one without a pack of Luckys in their hands dies!"

[–] NoRoadsLeft 19 years ago

my absolute favorite is:

Loretta: are we on cops again?

I <3:
Blair Witch Project
Kate Hudson, Winslet, Beckinsdale
Wicked - the Musical

[–] Liberal_Libra1981 18 years ago

If you are 17 and not a total fry, it's just what you do.

People ask me where I get this. I don't know, maybe it's a gift from God or something.

And they say smoking's bad for your health.

I mean, I don't get off on that sort of thing. That's really what you're asking, right?....Somebody say something.

[–] amberleistiko 18 years ago

First off, I have to mention that parts of this movie, like the parade scene, were filmed in my hometown.

Anyways, I cannot believe than no one mentioned these:

"You got some lutafisk in your hair." "Oh, it must be Wednesday."

"Ow! Don't pinch!"

Adam West: "You might even get to meet a few celebrites! Ah, yes."

"You know what? The rumors are true, I do have a special man in my life and if you don't mind, I'd like to sing a special song, just for him."

Mary Johanson: "This time last year I was practicing my talent, brushing up on current events, and running 18 miles a day...on about 400 calories. I was ready." :dippy look on her face:

I know its not a quote, but when Amber is brushing Mary's hair the look on Mary's face is priceless. And then some hair comes out in the brush and Amber whispers: "She, don't tell." LOVE IT!

After the pageant Leslie Miller entered the Chaska School of Beauty, working her way through as an exotic dancer. She was last seen in the Phillipines. If you see her please call 1-800-X-QUEEN. (or something like that)

Amber: "Loretta, don't have kids."
Loretta: "God love ya for thinking I still could."

Loretta: "Catch this in your mouth I'll give a prize."

Amber: "I've got my own secret weapon." :holds up vaseline jar: "Shh, don't tell."

"Bring it on!" "Well, as my mom says at dinner 'Come and get it!'" "Oh, I'll get it, I might even come for seconds!"

:applause: "Oh my! Was that for me or my gown!"

All of Brittany Murphy's giggles.

Tess Weinhausen: "Kenny! Kenny come! My other dog, Spike, went to go live on a farm with a nice family after he attacked me. Oh but it wasn't his fault was it Kenny? No. I had beef jerky in my front pocket. They remade my belly with skin from my butt."

[–] harrible 18 years ago

the police footage of when ambers trailer is blown up! those two guys playing the guitar! seriously funny!

[–] MrsTrevorMoore 18 years ago

five words...THE SWAN ATE MY BABY!!!!

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] darielles 18 years ago

My faves are:

Amber: This is'nt an American Teen Princess Pageant! This! This! This is NAZI GERMANY!

Iris: Where did they get this stuff?

Camera man: Did your mother did ever mentioned your father?

Amber: Yeah, my mother never hid the fact tell me that my dad chose his career over us. What was she always said?

Loretta: Once a carnie, always a carnie.

Amber: That was meant for my head, if didn't switch I owed my life to that deaf baby.

Mr. Larson: The family said they didn't like the way you made her.

Amber: Well, I didn't want her to go out looking like a cheap whore.

Mr. Larson: Well that cheap whore is their mother.

Terry Macey: And you are?

Amber: Mount Rose American Teen Princess

Terry Macey: Funny, you don't look dead.

Tess: He didn't mean it Kenny, no he didn't (kissing her dog)I got some beef jerky in my pocket.(showing her stomach) I got skin from my butt.

Candystriper Nurse: Hey darling Sue and her good friend Sally, how about these little mints can turn your frown upside down (showing the candy box)?

Loretta: How about shove in those mints down your ass.

Mayor: Oh, Yeah, Frida, sure. She was the oldest living Lutheran. Now she's dead as a doornail. It's them damn Shriner's, won't take down the God damn sign the lazy sons of bitches. Every year, every damn year I tell them, "Take down the God damn Frida sign, you lazy sons of bitches!

Tammy: Like Tony Robbins says "I'm winner, nobody can stop me but me"

Loretta: A rich family in a small town, it makes the papers when one of them takes a *beep*

Camera man: So what was the theme of the pageant last year?

Gladys: Last year? It was, "Buy American."

Camera man : And the year before that?

Gladys: "U.S.A. is A-okay."

Camera man: Can you remember the theme of your favorite pageant?

Gladys: "Can I? I'm Amer-I-Can!" People ask me where I get this. I don't know, it's, maybe a gift from God or somethin'.

Gladys: She was so talented when was knee high from a pig's eye

Lester: She is talented like that black fella, the glass eye, the Jew.

Becky: Sammy Davis. Jr.

Lester: Yeah, Sammy.

Becky: Good one, Dad. He's dead.

Lester: (holding a shot of liquor in front of the camera)Sorry, Would you like a drink?

Hank: Harold, are we on Cops?

Iris: That's why we Lutherans use grape kool-aid for the blood of Christ.

Loretta: So she's got a big ass then , so she's got a big ass now

Amber: (speaking about Becky's death) I didn't like her but she deserve to die in a belly of a swan like that.

Girl in Bathroom: This pageant is like a roach motel they check in but don't check out.

Girl in Bathroom: That's what happen to that farm ass girl, somebody wasn't gonna let her win.

[–] angel32 18 years ago

It's not a quote or anything, but the scene in the beginning when the camera crew is asking the contestants questions and Tammy's being asked about the patches on her letter jacket and she lastly points to the one that says 'President of the Lutheran Gun Club', then she kisses it and goes 'Love that one!'

[–] maids_are_us 18 years ago

"She's skinny Amber, not DEAF!"

[–] v_basketmom 18 years ago

Hank to Harold, " I want the big bag of little donuts".
Gets me every time.

[–] grabyourpitchforkfred 18 years ago

Every time the line "you betcha iris" is said!

[–] sheezhank2 18 years ago

Lawn darts, *beep* rat and "on his roof setting coon traps."
This movie is hilarious, up there with Christopher Guest and Mel Brooks. I am also partial to any movie that exaggerates a Minnesota accent (DDG, Fargo). I know many Minn natives don't find it funny at all (including a friend of mine who gets downright hostile). But it cracks me up every time.

[–] glassrose385 18 years ago

Girl in Bathroom: I ain't gonna be in goddam pageant look what happend to that dork ass farm girl

Loretta: Once a carnie always a carnie

Annette: The best thing I have to look forward to is to end up in decent raisin ranch where they change me twice day

Gladys: The swan ate my baby

[–] bryan_midgette 18 years ago

Great!... Real Great!... You know the babysitters dead!!

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] arthurmauk 18 years ago

Yeah, this film has tons of hilarious quotes. Some of my favourites:

Leslie Miller: [to Lisa when she gives Amber her Jacket] They're never gonna let you perform naked. I asked.

Leslie Miller: OH MY GOD! I DID IT! 2ND runner up. I GOT 2ND PLACE!
Pat: Third.
Leslie Miller: Wha?
Pat: Third place you got third place.
Leslie Miller: Oh.

Lisa Swenson: Guess what, Dad; Peter's gay!
Lisa Swenson's Father: What!
Lisa Swenson: [shouting] GAY!

Loretta: You stop right there. You are a good person. Good things happen to good people.
Amber Atkins: Really?
Loretta: No. It's pure *beep* sweetie. You're lucky as hell, so you might as well enjoy it.

Amber Atkins: [Running onto the scene of her and her mom's blown up trailer home] Mom? MOM?
Fireman: Whoa, whoa, whoa... you family?
Loretta: No, she's just yelling, "Mom, mom," because she has Tourettes! She's Annette's kid *beep*

Annette Atkins: Who's this?
Amber Atkins: Oh, they're here to see my room and film me for their movie.
Annette Atkins: If they ask you to take your top off, get the money first.

Amber Atkins: This is *beep*
Iris Clark: That is not American Teen Princess language!
Amber Atkins: Well this isn't an American Teen Princess Pageant! This... This... This is Nazi Germany!

Gladys Leeman: He sells reproductions! His furniture's as fake as my orgasms!

[–] emuboy 18 years ago

"English! You speak English in my house, you stupid little retard!" - Yelled by the Japanese father at his daughter when she addresses him in Japanese.

[–] movies_animal 18 years ago

When everyone is barfing from the sea food Loretta says, "Do you think they heard us"

I'm Luke Bill, and you're not my father!
-Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

[–] sweets0908 18 years ago

My absolute favorite is:

Amber:
"Look, number one rule in a funeral home, never sneek up on the living. You never know who might have a skull saw or an embalming needle in their hands. Mr. Lawson's son learned that the hard way, he's buried next to my grandpa."

Right after the camera crew scares her in the funeral home

[–] Princess-Leia1 18 years ago

All of these quotes are just hilarious. One part that I don't think many people notice though is back stage during the pageant, when Amber can't find her tap costume. She and Becky get into a fight and Iris pulls her off, among the many things that Amber is yelling at Becky is "I hate her", to which Iris says "I know, we all do."
It just cracks me up, because it shows how everyone knows how corrupt the contest actually is.

"Ready Mike?"
"I was born ready Timmy."
"But are you ready now?"

[–] costasurf 17 years ago

" Are we on COPS?"

[–] holly_shortie 17 years ago

"I WILL IF YOU SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!!!!" haha

[–] migomez1013 17 years ago

Loretta: "You're mom wanted you to have this since your other one got toasted and all!"
Amber: "Oh my God it's just like Diane Sawyer's!"
Loretta: "Yeah!"
Amber: "Except it's not a size 10... Diane was a little hippy back then."
Loretta: "Not our girl!"
Amber: "Oh no!"

[–] kristiewhite96 17 years ago

Amy Adams- Yea I'm really nervous. It's been about 2 months. I haven't told my boyfriend yet. How did you know?

Camera man- I meant nervous about the pagent.

Amy Adams- Oh! Nervous about the pagent. Yea!

Amy Adams- You can't perform naked, I already asked.

[–] alernor 17 years ago

when gladys is in the gym and tony comes over and she just stares at his package and says...

"hello, tony. hey to the folks."

and she completely loses her train of thought. oh how i love her.

[–] eXsorbeo 17 years ago

The whole scene with Mary lipsyncing while her nurse makes her "dance" around is priceless, amazing

Becky: It smells like gasoline (referring to the swan)
Gladys: Everything in Mexico smells like that!

and the guy clapping and mouthing "good job" after the explosion

I've never seen a movie with so many quotes. Lona Williams, the writer and third pageant judge, should write more, more, more. She has such a gift.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Lil_Shannen 17 years ago

"Yep, this is exactly how I pictured it... choking on swan gas"

[–] sisbell19 17 years ago

The creepy pedophile type judge:

No....no....never judged a pagent before (takes a drag of the cigarette)....never....been around young girls.....i mean, even if i was, why would i wannabe....you know....i mean, i don't get off on that kind of thing.....which is really what you're asking right?...........somebody say something?

[–] uniquemystique72 17 years ago

LORETTA: Hell-no, she ain't quittin'.
AMBER: No. Mom said if I did, she'd look up my dad and marry him.

[–] stevenvanhemmen 17 years ago

Competing for the title of Minnesota's Teen Princess was exciting, but I never could've won without my Saint Paul Pork Products...

I've been enjoying Saint Paul Pork Products for years. I grew up right next to these stock-yards. It's still the same family run buissiness ran by Walter and Very Polarski started in 1920, when they raised and slaughtered their first pig.

Hmmm, I love Saint Paul Pork Products. In fact, I love 'em so much, I work here now!

(excuse me for the bad grammar:P)

--Toilet seat assistance in row number one, thank you!

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] TheReelMcCoy 17 years ago

Close up shop! Close up shop!

[–] Masterblaster98 17 years ago

Gladys Leeman: "The swan ate my baby!!!"

Lester Leeman to his daughter at home: "Don't forget, where this is all coming from!"
Becky Leeman: "Taiwan!"
Lester Leeman: "That is enough, young lady!!!"

Becky Leeman: "I chose Rush mountain, because when you can take an ugly old mountain and put faces of great people on, which made our country super great, makes me, Rebecca Ann Leeman, proud to be an American!"

"Atomic power makes me proud to be an Asian-American!"

Becky Leeman: "You know what, the rumors are true. I do have a special fellow in my life. And if you don't mind I like to sing a song just for him!"

************************
* LET THEM EAT CAKE!!! *
************************

[–] badiddy 17 years ago

"Mom said not in the head!"
"Well Moms dead so shut your fly trap!"
"I will if you shut your pie hole!!"

AHAAHAH i absolutely LOVE that part, expecially the way hank says pie hole

crack up

[–] TrueCoconut 17 years ago

My favorite line is when Amber's mom is being loaded into the ambulance and Amber turns to the camera and says "Oh everythings ok there just giving her a ride back. She almost flew out of the back of Loretta's pickup on the way here" and Loretta says "Thank God for bungy cords"

Just thinking about it makes me crack up.

The first and most important rule of gun-running is: never get shot with your own merchandise

[–] nosnojsirhc 17 years ago

the pork product commercial could be used on incoming flights to the US as introductory material.

[–] beangirl2 17 years ago

"I want a big bag of little donuts."

But my favorite is still when they are showing the news broadcast after the food poisoning incident and Loretta shows up on it after getting it on with the bartender and talks directly to Annette (Amber's mom):

"I got some!!!"

[–] hitnrun017 17 years ago

My absolute favorite:

(When asked what'd tree she'd be)

Becky Ann Leeman: One with good strong roots and a community like Mount Rose, a solid Christian trunk, and... long, leafy branches to provide shade for handicapped kids on a hot summer day.

"Nobody'll rescue you. That's just life." - Mitsuko Souma ; Battle Royale