MovieChat Forums > The Nutty Professor (1996) Discussion > BEST LINES!!!!!!!!

BEST LINES!!!!!!!!

posted 19 years ago by MadelynBlitz
34 replies | jump to latest

"And Luther Vandros, n!gger used to be the black Poverati!" -Cletus

"Im sick of all this, lose weight, get healthy, everyone lookin all annorexic, I know what healthy is!!"

Granny "Now Carla, are you and Sherman having relations?"
Cletus&Mama "Now thats a good question." i just love how everyone stares at them

"Look, its Fat-zilla! You look like King Kong with titties!" -Reggie

"Women be shoppin!! OH! You cannot STOP a woman from shopin!" -Reggie

"The last time this brotha felt a breast, it was in a bucket of KFC!! Extra CRISPY!" -Reggie

"I got nothin against lesbians, I love lesbians. Bingo,...a little cunnilingus never hurt nobody." -granny

Granny "Theres nothin wrong with having relations!! Sometimes, I even relation myself."
the brother "I can relate!!"

wow!! this movie has so many great quotes, its hard to get them all down. i just love how much of an A-hole Reggie is...he's awesome!!

[–] silent-skies 19 years ago

Buddy Love: Tank ass!
Sherman Klump: Tinkerbell!
Buddy Love: Blubber butt!
Sherman Klump: Featherweight!

Grandma Klump: I know a good church down there on Main Street, but they won't marry you if you're a lesbian.

Buddy Love: That ain't your hair, man. Take that pile of *beep* off your head.

"Look, its Fat-zilla! You look like King Kong with titties!" -Reggie

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"It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not."

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] harryfyhr 19 years ago

Now we know What's Eating Gilbert Grape,don't we!?

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badgers? badgers!? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' BADGERS!!!

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] cfruge444 17 years ago

All that pent up energy for thirty-five years, just wantin' and wantin' and wantin', WHOO! Blow yo head off!

[–] Bhana32 17 years ago

"This chick got more extensions than AT&T."

If you do the crime, your balls are on the line!

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] fatpigeon5 17 years ago

"POP goes the weasel, 'cos the weasel say "POP"!

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] deppandburtonfan 16 years ago

"who here call my name?"

"yeah i call ya if ya name was *farts*"

lmao!

and when the granny's singing

"sherman has relations" over and over again

and when Sherman walks in singing

"got myself a date! friday night at eight! etc." and then sings "Close the Door"

"don't let the grey hair fool you i aint no easy win *beep*

lmao and loads more i can't think

[–] grbettencourt 16 years ago

-(Jason) Oh my God, THAT'S A BUUUUUUUUUUUUS *high pitched*

-(Sherman) *speedily* Now if you don't mind I have a date at the alumni ball, and you have a date with linoleum.
-(Jason) Who? *punched to linoleum floor*

I like Jason a lot.

[–] MrsMonroe74 16 years ago

"hercules! hercules hercules....."

& everytime the mother says "fabulous" lol

______________________________
fried ice cream is a reality

[–] njdocisin 16 years ago

(Talking about a colonic)
Cletus: Well how do you think they clean it? You think they run their *beep* by the car wash?

Granny: Keep insulting me. I'll toss this between the crack of yo ass.

Ernie: Only thing about to break through is your ass, about to break through the seat of your pants.

Granny: I hope you got a strong back. When you get all that man and release all that's been built up for 35 years...just wantin' and wantin' and wantin.....whoo might make your head blow off.
Ernie: Pop goes the weasel!
Granny: I got my own self hot tellin' that story

Granny: Yeah, I figured your fat ass would remember somebody's sandwich flying off a building.

Granny: I hope your ass turn into a frog.

Sherman: I learned that life is not about being happy with how much you weigh, but just being happy with yourself (not a funny line, but one of the best).

[–] MrPink08 16 years ago

Mama Klump: Im gonna get my colon cleansed
Papa Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine im gonna clean mine! (farts!)

Grandma: Who that callin my name?
Papa: Yeah im callin your name if your name's (farts)
Mama: I hope ya fart till yer *beep* falls off!

You met me at a very strange time in my life-The Narrator

[–] MrsMonroe74 16 years ago

i forgot about that 1,& used to laugh about it all the time-
grandma:"it figures your ole fat ass would remember something about a sandwich flying off a building" rofl!

______________________________
I like you. do you like me?-borat

[–] Freedom_of_Sin 16 years ago

"Don't scratch my car or I'll be scratching your a$$"
"I've heard of dreadlocks,but $hitlocks ?"

By the great Buddy Love

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] Joe-the-Drifter 15 years ago

Way too many, but I like the line "Maybe you should try Jenny Craig," and "Reggie has left the building." "IT'S SHOWTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As you can see, I'm alot happier.- Joker 89.
Proud member of the House of Zod.

[–] 2WarpsToNeptune 15 years ago

Grandma Klump "me and your grandfather used to be colleagues and the next thing you know he's on top of me pumpin' and sweatin "

So what I told you was true... From a certain point of view

[–] Super-Combo 15 years ago

There's so many, I'll list some of my favorites.

Papa klump - "Only thang you need to study is yo ass. I got a big ass, ya Mama got a big ass."

Papa Klump - "What'd you think a colonic is? You think they run your assho!e by the carwash!?"

Papa Klump - "THIS IS SOME SCARY SH!T!"

Grandma Klump - "I don't wan` no tater, you know Mash tater gives Me gas."

Grandma Klump - "I'll toss this between tha crack of yo` ass."

Let's get this party started. Sh!t's gonna get real.

[–] sxymommacitaprincess_227 14 years ago

ok here are mine:

Mama: your choking the baby!

Mama: I hope ya fart til your *beep* falls out!

Grandma:I'll toss this between the crack of your ass!

Papa: Now see what ya made me do? Goddamn it I messed up my pants!

Papa: Shoot the damn dog!

[–] KiwiChick88 14 years ago

Mine is after cletus says shoot the damn dog and he and granny are fighting and she yells "you lazy motherf-" and it hard cuts to the next scene.

That and "come on over here cletus! Ain't nothin but a short walk! Come on!"

Life's like a bottle of whiskey...takes years to mature and sometimes it makes you vomit.

[–] jones7418 13 years ago

All the best lines come from the dinner scene and The Scream Club with Budddy. Just priceless! Good-night, Hamsterboy!

[–] averagejoeman2013 13 years ago

"You want to clean your colon?.. fine I'll clean my colon. (Farts). There, now its clean.. we're talking squeaky clean."

"Do I look like Im laugh, Klump"
"Well, no you don't. But you know might be one of those types that....keeps it all inside (laughs)"
(Dean laughs..then abruptly stops) "Now, you listen to me you fat tub of goo".

"What are you looking at"?

[–] Dave1136 13 years ago

I don't know if this has been mentioned but my best line was in the outtakes: It was from the grandmother- "I once made a fart and it smelled so much, I swear there was a chain in it" She then (rather Eddie Murphy) completely cracks up and falls off the chair.

I loved most of the other great lines too!:-}

[–] Tyler-A-Arse 12 years ago

"I'm thinkin' about gettin' me an appointment and go down and get my colon cleansed thoroughly.

(The look on Ernie Jr. face when she said that was incredibly funny)